Hayi, namhlanje asinayo isiqingatha semitshato ephelile, kodwa ininzi yabo. Njengomthetho, abantwana bahlala kule mitshato, abaza kuba ngabazali bezantombi kunye nabahamba phambili kwimibutho yabazali babo. Ingxaki? Hayi! Namhlanje sele ihlazo ukwenza ingxaki kule ...
Ngaphambi kokuba udibanise nobomi bakho (kunye nobomi bomntwana wakho) ngomntu omtsha, kufuneka ulungiselele umhlaba wale mcimbi obalulekileyo. Ngelixa ungekho phantsi kwayo nayiphi na imbopheleleko, kuyimfuneko ukufumana izinto ezininzi malunga neqabane lakho elizayo, kunye nokuqhuba umsebenzi othile kunye nomntwana. Emva kwakho konke, uxhamlwano olulandelayo phakathi kobawo nomntwana emtshatweni wesibini luyimbambiso yenkqantosi nokuphila kwintsapho yakho entsha.
Buza iqabane elizayo imibuzo elandelayo (kunye neyona nto ibhetele kubo bonke bazama ukufumana ngeendlela ezingekho ngqo):
♦ Ingaba uyathanda abantwana ngokusemthethweni;
♦ ingaba ulungele ukunikela ngemigangatho yakhe kunye nokulungelelanisa ngenxa yolonwabo lomntwana kunye nokuzola;
♦ ingaba uyayithanda umntwana wakho, nokuba akayithandi:
♦ ingaba uya kuba nomona kuwe kumntwana;
♦ Ingaba unina akayi kumphatha kakubi umntwana okhulayo.
Ukuba kuvela into engafanelekiyo, kufuneka iphawule ngokukhawuleza: cinga, kufuneka ukhawuleze nalo mtshato?
YENZISA UKUTHI ...
♦ Vumela umyeni wakho ukuba alungele utshintsho olubalulekileyo ebomini bakhe: xelela kuye ukuba ulawulo lwakho losuku lubukeka njani ngoku, kwaye mxelele ukuba ngokubonakala kwakhe akuyi kuba nayiphi into eya kutshintsha, oko kukuthi, kuya kufuneka azilungele yena kunomntwana nomntwana. Ekugqibeleni, ukuthobela uninzi.
♦ Mcebise ukuba ingqalelo kuwe kuphela kwaye ingqalelo ukuba umntwana akayi kukunyamekela (makangabi nomona).
♦ Mcebise ukuba umntwana angeke akwazi ukutyelela ilungu elitsha lentsapho, kodwa okokuqala uya kubonisa umona kunye nobutshaba. Cacisa kumyeni wakho ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngale nto, kwaye ukuba izazi zeengqondo zibheke ukuba oku kusemthethweni. Abantwana kunzima kakhulu ukunqoba le meko, ngoko abantu abadala kufuneka babonise umonde kunye nokunyaniseka.
♦ Mxelele ukuba ulungele ukwamkela ukuba bonke abantu abanako ukuthanda ngokunyanisekileyo umntwana ongewona ozalwa, kodwa ucinga ukuba nakubani na, kufuneka ugcine imbeko, uhloniphe kwaye ubonise isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo (xela oku njengimeko yakho yomtshato , unokukwazi ukwenza isivumelwano esibhaliweyo).
XAWANA NOMNTWANA ...
♦ Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana ulungele utshintsho kwintsapho: akanalo nxamnye nomtshato wakho ngokusemthethweni kunye nxamnye nomntu okhethiweyo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ngolu hlobo, kungcono ukuyeka ukutshata umtshato de kube zonke iimeko zicaciswe okanye zishiye ngokupheleleyo.
♦ Dweba ubomi bakho kwixesha elizayo kunye nomntwana omtsha kumntwana, zama ukumbonisa ukuba kunye naye uya kuba ngcono (kuba utata unentsapho eyahlukileyo kwaye wenza kakuhle apho, kuba umama ufuna nokuba nentanda yakhe, njengabo bonke abantu, kuba kunye kunye kuhlale kulula ukuhlala kwaye kukho amathuba amaninzi, njl.).
♦ Bhala uluhlu oluthile olubonakalayo ebomini bakhe ngokubonakala komntu osendlwini (le nkwenkwe ingadlala nobawo omtsha kwibhola lebhola, jonga umdlalo kwiTV kunye kunye nokufunda iindlela zokuzikhusela, kunye nentombazana iya kuziva phantsi kokukhuselwa okuthembekileyo).
♦ Mthembise ukuba uya kukwazi ukudibana noyise ngokuthanda kwakhe, kwaye akukho namnye oya kumphoqa ukuba athathe ifani. Emva koko, ukunxibelelana phakathi kobawo nomntwana kungcwele kwaye awuyi kuluqhawula.
♦ Chaza umntwana ukuba akukho mntu uya kucela kuye ukuba uyamthanda ubaba omtsha njengowakhe, kodwa kuya kuba kuhle ukuba ubuhlobo phakathi kwabo bubekwe.
♦ Vumelani ngokukhawuleza, njengoko uya kubiza uyise oyise (eli gama elibi, ngendlela, awukwazi ukuthetha). Utshintsho: Ubaba uLesha, uMalume uLesha, ngegama-patronymic, nje ngegama. Musa ukugxininisa ukuba umntwana ubiza umnxeba wakho.
♦ Chaza umntwana ukuba kunzima ukuba umntu angene kwenye intsapho, ngoko kufuneka ixhaswe, ingabi yingozi kwaye ingabangela ukuxabana.
♦ Mxelele ukuba intsapho yendoda yakho yangomso ayiyi kuthatha njengokuba yakho - ngaloo ndlela, wonke umntu kufuneka abone ubuncinane kunye neentlonipho.
INTSHA IYA KUBALULEKA!
Ukuba uqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho elizayo alivuyiswa yinto yokuba wayebanjwe ngumfazi "onomthwalo," cinga ukhetho lokuphelisa ubuhlobo obunjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uyamthanda kangakanani lo mntu. Ekugqibeleni, le nyunyana ayiyi kubangela uvuyo kunoma ubani, kuba uthando olunzulu ludlulayo, kunye nolwalamano lwakho nomntwana - ngokuqinisekileyo ebomini. Ukuba emtshatweni wesibili ubaphazamisa ngephoso lomthandi wakho, ke wena uya kuthiya, oko kukubi kakhulu, kwaye uthando lomntwana aluyi kubuyiselwa kuwe.
IMIBUZO EPHAKAMILEYO
Umsebenzi womama kukuba ukwakha ubudlelwane enxantathu "uyise-ntata-ntata-ntata", ukuze bonke balwele ubomi boxolo kwaye baphathane ngokuhlonela. Akunandaba nokuba sisizathu siphi na isizathu sokuba wahlukana nomyeni wakho wokuqala - ngoku yimbali. Simele sicinge ngalo namhlanje. I-leitmotif eyintloko kufuneka ibe yintsikelelo elula: "Sonke ngabantu, wonke umntu unokukwazi ukuphosa iimpazamo." Enye enye: "Musa ukugweba, ngoko awuyi kugwetywa." Oku kuya kukusindisa wena nomntwana ekugwebeni kobawo owenene. Kwaye kwangexesha elifanayo kuya kulungelelanisa umona womyeni wakho wesibini. Ngenxa yoko, unokuba ngabahlobo kunye nokuthetha kunye neentsapho. Mhlawumbi unxulumano oluphezulu luyaqhelana noluntu lwethu, kodwa, ukuba ucinga ngalo, lusemvelo kwaye lulungele. Kwaye kubantwana kubaluleke kakhulu kunobutshaba kunye nokuhlekwa ngesohlwayo ngamehlo.
IZIXHOBO
♦ Ungalindelanga ukuba umntwana kunye nomyeni baya kuthandana ngokukhawuleza: ixesha elincinci lokulungelelaniswa yiminyaka emi-2, kunye neminyaka engama-7.
♦ Ungalindelanga ukuba indoda iya kumthanda ngokufanayo umntwana wakhe kunye nomntwana owamkelayo - intsapho ibethandwa kakhulu. Into ephambili kukuqinisekisa indoda ukuba ayifanele ibonise abantwana.
♦ Musa ukuxhomekeka kumntwana: ubudlelwane bomtshato bubaluleke ngokulinganayo, kwaye kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba yonke into ephambi kwayo ilandelelana.
♦ Musa ukukhawuleza ukugwetywa xa utata omtsha engayifumani yonke into kanye kanye (kanye kuphela into ekumele yenziwe ngokukhawuleza kukunyaniseka kobunzima bomntwana onomntwana ngokumalunga nomntwana).
INSTRUCTION FOR BEGINING FATHER
♦ Musa ukukhawuleza ufundise umfazi womntwana, ingakumbi ukuba uyishumi elivisayo (imfundo engcono ngumzekelo wakho).
♦ Akuyimfuneko ukugxininisa kwakhona ukuba nguwe oyintloko yentsapho: ngalokhu awunakunqoba ukuthembela komntwana (bhetele ugxininise isimo sakho sengqondo kunye nothando ngonina kunye naye).
♦ Musa ukufumana isigwebo: ngokuqinisekileyo akuyi kukukholisa umntwana okhulayo, kwaye unako ukusombulula iingxaki ngenye indlela (ngeenkcazo, iingxoxo kunye neengxaki).
♦ Ukuthetha nomntwana ngokulinganayo, njengomntu omdala, umbonise inhlonipho yakho.
♦ Qinisekisa ukuba udlala nomntwana, uye kwi-theatre kunye nakwiibhayisikobho kunye nosapho lonke.
♦ Thatha kunye nawe ukuba usebenze ukuze akwazi ukuqonda ukuba ubaba wakhe oyise uyabaluleke kangakanani, wabona ukuba uyahlonishwa.
♦ Zama ukutsala umntwana kwizinto ozifunayo kuwe.
♦ Yenza isicatshulwa "Andiboni nto, andiyiva into" malunga neengcambu zomntwana, ngoko unokugqiba ukuba awukhathalele.
♦ Yilungele ixesha elithile lokunyamezela ukuxhatshazwa kunye nokuchaswa kwinxalenye yomntwana (ngakumbi ukuba uyishumi elivisayo), bonisa ukuzithiba kwaye uzama ukuzibeka kwindawo yomntwana: abantwana, njengombandela, bafumana ukuqhawuka komtshato kwabazali ixesha elide.
INKCAZELO YOMFAKATHI:
U-Elena Nikolaevna UVORONTSOVA, ugqirha-wengqondo
Ukudala intsapho ngumsebenzi omningi. Abantu, ngokusemgangathweni, kunzima ukudibene kunye nokulungelelanisa iminqweno yabo kwiminqweno yomnye umntu. Kwimeko yomfazi womtshato wokuqala womfazi wabo bonke abathathu (kwaye kungekhona nje u-stepfather owayengenako), iingxaki zokunxibelelana phakathi kobazali kunye nomntwana emtshatweni wesibili ziphindwe kabini. Umntwana wayesele ekhwele unina kunina, kwaye ngoku imeko iyanzima nakakhulu, kuba isifundo esitsha somona savela. Yaye ukuba uyise, ngokucacileyo okanye ngokucacileyo, kodwa ebonisa uthando lwakhe, awaziwa ukuba umyeni omtsha uza kunyanga njani umntwana omtsha. Abantwana bonke bazive baze baqonde: abadala bayazi kakuhle, kwaye abantwana baphantsi kwinqanaba elincinci. Le ndoda ngokwayo, nangona izama ukunyusa, kodwa inzulu entliziyweni yakhe, nayo, iingxaki kunye neengxaki ezinokuthi zingamthandi umntwana, ziya kuba ngumfundisi ongabalulekanga. Ukongezelela, naye nakwezinye iindawo ezincinci, ukufihla umona ngomyeni odlulileyo, kwaye umntwana usebenza kuyo njengento ehlala ecasulayo (njengesikhumbuzo esiphilayo). Kwaye, ke, umfazi: uya kulahlwa ukuba ahlale ephakathi kweemililo zomlilo, njengoko zithethayo, zakha njalo, zilungelelanise kwaye "zilungise" ubudlelwane phakathi komntwana kunye nomyeni omtsha. Ngelizwi, kukho iingxaki ezaneleyo. Kodwa zonke iimeko ezininzi zixazululwa, ukuba, ngokwenene, ziyaziqonda kwaye zihambelane ngokuchanekileyo. Into ephambili ngumnqweno womntu ukumbona umfazi wakhe oyintandavuya, ngoko ke umntwana wakhe.