Ukuba unethamsanqa ukuzalelwa ngonina onomdla, akudingeki ukuba uxhalabele nantoni na. Uya kuza kunye nobushushu kulo mzi ukuba akulethe i-cutlets ye-steam kunye nekhekhe le-Napoleon ekhiqizwayo, nje ukukholisa intombi yakho ethandekayo. Ngelizwi, liyinto enomdla kwaye iluncedo xa kukho umfazi osondele kuwe olungele ukuzidela ngenxa yakho. Kodwa ukuba uyaziphathela kwilolu hlobo lwamabhinqa enqamlekileyo, ngoko imeko ayikho into enhle. Sazama ukufumanisa oko kukhokelela ekuzingca nasekuziphatheni.
Umnqweno wokwenza izinto ezinzulu ngokweqile unemvelaphi yengqondo: kukholelwa ukuba abo bakulungele ukulibala ngokwabo ukukholisa abanye, bafumana ubunzulu obungathandabuzekiyo kwaye abazithandi. Emva koko, ukuba ububele kwabanye bubonakala bubuqhetseba, kubonisa ukuba lixesha lokucinga. Ukuba kwiklasi lokuqala ukubuza umbuzo: "Ngubani phakathi kwenu ogijime kunomntu wonke?" - Zonke izandla ziya kuphakamisa izandla ngaphandle kokungafani. Wonke umntu uya kufuna ukuveza amandla akhe aze abonise abanye. Kodwa, ukuba ubuza umbuzo ofanayo esikolweni esiphakeme, mhlawumbi akukho mntu uya kuphakamisa isandla sakhe. Abafana abanakukwenza ngenxa yokwesaba ukuba baya kuhleka ngabo bafunda nabo, ukuba baya kugwetywa ngenxa yokuziqhayisa kunye nomnqweno wokuma. Ngokukodwa kubandakanyeka ngamantombazana asele aneminyaka engama-13-14 ekhangeleleneyo ngokujonga "ukuba angabonakali ngcono kunabanye". Ithelevishini, iincwadi, amaphephandaba kunye namaphephancwadi ziqhubela phambili ukuqhubela amantombazana kwingcamango yokuba "amantombazana amhle" athobekile, athule, izidalwa zedini, ezivuthayo, ziqala ukucinga ngabanye kwaye zize zizenzele zona. Emva kwamazwi amahle kunye neenjongo ezilungileyo, amabali abafazi abangenwabahlali abaneminyaka engama-70 bazalisekisa i-whims yomyeni wabo, abantwana, abazali, umama-mkhwe kaninzi bafihlekile, kodwa abazange baqaphele ukuthetha ngezinto abazifunayo ngokwabo. Cinga ngezinto iimpawu zabesetyhini zidla ngokuba zifanelekile. Abasetyhini banomdla wokubambisana kunye nokusebenza kwikomiti. Oku kulungile - ngokungakhathaliseki ukuba ufumana umvuzo ofanelwe kakuhle malunga negalelo lakho kwisizathu esifanayo. Abasetyhini banako ukukhuthaza ubudlelwane kunye nokwenza izinto ezicokisekileyo - ukunyaniseka kukugweba. Kulungile - kodwa kuphela xa ungavumelani ukuhamba malunga nabanye, nje ukuphepha ingxabano. Abasetyhini banonophelo kwaye banentlonelo kunamadoda. Kwaye oko kukumangalisayo - ukuba awuyikubeka iimfuno zabantu abakujikelezileyo ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuyihoxisa ngokupheleleyo iimfuno zakho. Zonke ezi mpawu zikhuthazwa uluntu kwaye zihlala zibeka kwindawo enzima. Emva koko, kuvela ukuba xa ungakulungele ukuzidela, akunjalo? Ezinye izazi zengqondo zibiza ukuba umfazi usabela njani kwingcinezelo ephuma kuluntu "ukutshatyalaliswa kwezentlalo".
Kodwa, ke, akubona bonke abafazi bayalibala malunga neminqweno yabo ngenxa yokuguquka. Ngoko bayazi ngani ngobomi, obungaziwa kubahlobo babo abazukileyo? Okokuqala, umfazi onjalo uyazi ukuba ufanelekile. Uyazi ukuba unembopheleleko ethile kwintsapho yakhe, abantwana bakhe, umyeni wakhe, abazali bakhe kunye nomqeshi wakhe, kodwa akayikulibala ukuba unesiphephelo sakhe kweli hlabathi. Unokubuza kwaye athathe iingcebiso kunye noncedo kwiintsapho, ufuna umvuzo ofanelekileyo wento ayenzayo. Ekusebenzeni nasekhaya, unako, ngoko, ukwakha imida ukwenzela ukuba iimfuno zakhe azilibale. Uyamkela indumiso kunye nokunyaniseka ngaphandle kokuhlazeka, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo uyaqonda ukuba akuyena wonke umntu omthandayo kunye nezenzo zakhe. Ngaba ungathanda ukuba ngumfazi onjalo? Emva koko funda ukuphepha iingongoma ezibhubisayo olungiselela uluntu.
Umgibe # 1
Uvumela abanye ukuba bafumane umvuzo weenkonzo zakho. Wena kunye nomlingane wakho uphumelele ngokugqibeleleyo iphrojekthi edibeneyo, kodwa ke uxelela iziphathamandla ngale nto njengempumelelo yakhe. Kwaye wena, endaweni yokuthetha ilizwi lakho elinzima, cwaka ngenxa yokwesaba ukubonakala ngathi uphakamise. Ngaba kukho into enje eyenzeka kuwe? Mhlawumbi isizathu kukuba uqinisekile ngokuqinisekileyo: "abalungileyo" bafazi bamele bahlaziye, bahlanganyele kwaye basebenzisane. Kodwa ufuna ukulungela! Ukuba kunjalo ngokwenene, kufuneka ufunde ukuvakalisa impumelelo yakho. Emva kwakho konke, ukwenzela ukuba abaphathi baqonde igalelo lakho, akudingekile ukuba bancitshise abalingane abenzileyo. Ngokuchasene noko, kunokwenzeka ukubeka ingqalelo kwintloko kwiingcamango eziphumelelayo zabalingani kunye nokuphunyezwa kwazo ngokuphumelelayo. Kodwa musa ukulibala ukukhankanya ukufaneleka kwakho. Mhlawumbi inyaniso, awuboni ngathi ufanelekile ukudumisa kunye nomvuzo? Emva koko kufuneka usebenze ngokuzithemba. Zama ukuvavanya amathuba akho ngendlela onokuyithanda ngayo umntu ongaphandle. Emsebenzini, yakha "ifayile yokuphumelela". Bhala phantsi iimbono zakho ezilungileyo owakwazi ukuzenza, iiprojekthi ezizuzisayo oziphumeleleyo, gcina iileta ezivela kubathengi abanombulelo (kwaye ungakulibali ukuhambisa ezi ncwadi kubaphathi bakho). Le "bhodi yehlonipho" iya kukuvuyisa xa kuyimfuneko. Iifayile ezinjalo zingenziwa kubomi bodwa.
Umgibe # 2
Awunxumi ukuhlawulwa ngokufanelekileyo kwento oyenzayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukutshatyalaliswa kwezentlalo akuvunyelwanga ukuba ufune umvuzo ohloniphekileyo okanye uwuphakamise. Ucinga ukuba, "Ndiyintoni engcono kunabanye?" - okanye: "Abanye bazama, ngoko kutheni ndifanele ndiphakamise umvuzo wam?" Ukuba ugcina ifayile yokufezekiswa kweengcali, uyazi kakuhle ukuba ungcono kunabanye kwaye kutheni ufanelekile ngakumbi. Abaphathi abaninzi bayavuma ukuba ababahloneli abasebenzi abazimisele ukusebenzela imali enokude ngexesha elide ngaphandle kokufuna ukwanda okanye ukunyuswa. Ukuba awuzixabisi, abanye abayi kukuxabisa.
Umgibe # 3
Uvumelekile ukuba uhlaziswe. Mhlawumbi uzama nzima ukuphepha ingxabano. Okanye ukhe uloyiko lokuba umoni wakho uya kulunge kwaye akubeke phambi kwabanye abantu abangenanto. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kufuneka ufunde ukuphendula kwiimbeko ezihlazo kunye nesidima. Ukuba uva into ehlambalaza ekhaya okanye emsebenzini, okokuqala ungaphakamisi izwi lakho. Thetha ngokuzamile uze uzame ukuba nemvakalelo embalwa ngamazwi akho ngokusemandleni ukuze bangenakucala, ukwesaba, okanye ukuphazamiseka. Impendulo engcono kunoma yimuphi umbuzo wokuhlekisa uzakuba ngumbuzo: "Kutheni utsho loo nto?" - okanye: "Nceda ucacise: yintoni eyakukhokelela ngokuqinisekileyo kwizigqibo ezinje?" Kakade, oogxa okanye abahlobo banokuqiniseka ukuba bahleka nje. Kodwa umbuzo ubonakala ngokuzinzileyo nangenene, uya kubabangela ukuba bavale, okanye bathathe isimo sengqondo esiphezulu kwizinto abazithethayo.
Wena ngokwakho ulahla isidima sakho
Ukuzithemba ngumgangatho obangela uvuyo olungenamntu kumntu. Ukuzicingela njengobuntu obungabalulekanga, ongafanelanga ukuvuya kunye nolonwabo, ngokwenene uya kuba ngumntu onjalo. Iingcali zengqondo zibonisa ukuba usebenzisa le ndlela. Gqoka isalathisi e-rabra elula phantsi kweengubo zakho kunye naso sonke ixesha unengcamango ephosakeleyo entloko yakho, shenxisa iqela elincinci. Kwaye emva koko, shintshela umyalezo ongathandekiyo onobuhle. Uvele ucinge nje: "Ewe, ndiphinde ndihlaziye!" Shintsha indawo yokujonga: "Ndiyindoda ebumba kakhulu kwaye ndiyazi indlela yokucinga ngaphandle kwebhokisi. Ngeli xesha, ingcamango yaba yiphumelele kakhulu, kodwa iimpazamo zongeza kwimeko yam! "Ekuqaleni ubuchule obunokubonakala bubonakala, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uya kufaka ukucinga ngokwakho kwaye uzikholelwe. Yenza isidima sakho (umzekelo, ukukwazi ukukholisa) ukusebenza kuwe, kungekhona.