Indlela yokuchazela kumyeni wam ukuba umama-mkhwenkwe ungeyonto

Umfazi omncinci akasoloko ekwazi ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo kunye noninazala. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba uninazala uzama ukuzama ukumfaka "iisenti ezintlanu." Iingcebiso zakhe ezingapheliyo zinxulumene nolwalamano, umzali kunye nokunye okuninzi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, nayiphi na umntu uya kudinwa yiyo, kodwa indlela yokuchazela umyeni wakhe ukuba uninazala ungeyonto? Ukuze ukwazi ukuqonda le meko nzima, kuyimfuneko ukuqwalasela iindlela ezinokukhetha.

Uhlala kwindlu yomkhwekazi

Indlela yokuchazela umyeni wakhe ukuba uninazala unengqondo, ukuba intsapho ihlala kunye nabazali bomntu? Kule meko, umama-mkhwenkwe uyabonakala kwaye akayi kuba yinto engabonakaliyo, kuba le likhaya lakhe. Kodwa ngakwelinye icala, kufuneka aqonde ukuba isibini esitshatileyo kufuneka sibe nendlela yaso yobomi kunye nobomi babo. Nangona kunjalo, yintoni omele uyenze xa unyokokazi wakho efuna ukuchazela into kwaye akuxelele?

Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo kuyathintela indoda kunye nentombi yomfazi okanye uyavumelana nayo yonke into. Ukuba loo mntu ngokwakhe akavuyisanga noko umama wakhe akwenzayo kwaye ukholelwa ukuba unengqiqo, ngoko ke isigqibo seengxaki sixazululwa. Kodwa kule meko, umyeni, mhlawumbi, uya kulwa nomama noninazala baya kuba nomsindo ngakumbi nomalokazana. Uya kucinga ukuba oku kukubeka unyana kuye. Ngoko ke, umalokazana kufuneka afunde ukuphepha iingxabano. Kwaye kwiimeko zokuqala neyesibini, kufuneka axelele umyeni wakhe ukuba unina uyakhonkotha intonga, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo, ukuba asebenze kunye naye isicwangciso sokuziphatha apho ingxabano iphelile kwaye ingabi nanye. Enyanisweni, ngelishwa, kukho oomama ongenakukwazi ukulwa nawo. Kodwa kulo mzekelo, iingxoxo azicedi nonke.

Ukuba indoda isecaleni lomama, mbuze ukuba yintoni eyenza ukuba enze oku. Makhe azame ukuchaza izizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe. Mhlawumbi wakhula kwintsapho apho umama wayehlala ephethe igunya kwaye wayemhlonela. Kukho enye indlela, xa umama enza konke ngenxa yonyana wakhe kwaye akafuni ukumcaphukisa nokumthuka. Nangona kunjalo, kumabini omabili, umyeni akazami ukuzihlola ngokuzimeleyo imeko, ekhokelwa nguloyiko okanye inceba. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uchazele ukuba ngokuhlonipha ngokufanelekileyo unina, nguwe wedwa kwaye unokulungisa iingxaki kwintsapho yakho. Kwaye ungazifuni ukuba umama-mkhwenkwe akho amanyathelo okuziphatha. Mnike imizekelo apho umama abeka kuye "ezintente ezintlanu" kwaye ekugqibeleni yonke into yavela ngokungafaniyo. Kuzo zonke iintsapho apho umama-mkhwenkwe uzama ukuzama ukufumana ubudlelwane bentsha, kukho imimiselo eninzi. Ngoko, gcina kwimemori yakho kwaye ukhethe okugqamile. Into eyona nto ayikuze ixelele umyeni wakho ukuba unina unqabileyo, ulungile kwaye akalungile. Qinisekisa amagama akho ngeengxabano, kungenjalo uya kugqiba ekubeni uyamnyelisa umamazala. Kwimeko xa uhlala endlwini kamama, khumbula ukuba kwimihla ngemihla, ubomi bakhe bemihla ngemihla, uya kuhlala esecaleni, kuba eli likhaya lakhe kwaye ke ngumntu ohlala kuyo. Ngaloo nto umele ukwamkele.

Uninazala ubahlala ngokwahlukileyo

Ukuba uhlala ngokwahlukileyo kumama wendoda yakho, kodwa ubiza rhoqo, uza kutyelela nokulawula yonke into, uze uzame ukuchazela umyeni wakho ukuba umama uyamkhumbula kwaye umcele ukuba amtyelele rhoqo. Mhlawumbi, ukuba uhlala ebona unyana wakhe, uya kukuyeka. Enyanisweni, le ndlela ayisoloko isebenza, kwaye kufuneka ucele umyeni wakho ukuba anqamle umnxibelelwano nonina nawe. Mxelele ukuba ngenxa yokutyelela rhoqo kwiindwendwe kunye neefowuni, awunaso ixesha lokujongana nobomi bemihla ngemihla, kuba ufanele uhlawule umama. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna ukuba indlu ihlambuluke, ihlambuluke ibe isoloko idla isidlo sakusihlwa, ke myeke achazele unina ukuba unezinto ezininzi ongenaso ixesha lokuzifeza ngenxa yokuthetha naye.

Kwaye into yokugqibela ukukhuliswa kwabantwana. Kule meko, mbuze ukuba ufuna ukuba umntwana ambone njengagunya kwaye amlalele. Ewe, impendulo iya kuba yinto enhle. Emva koko, cacisa ukuba kwimeko xa ugogo ehlala elungisa izigqibo zabazali, abantwana baqala ukuyiqonda njengowona igunya kuphela, belibale ukuba ilizwi lokugqibela elifanelekileyo limele lihlale kumama noyise.