Umtshato wabantu: kunye nokuchasene

Kuyaziwa ukuba amadoda alwela umtshato womtshato. Ukoyika ukulahlekelwa ukuzimela kwabo, badumisa "ubudlelwane obukhululekile, ubudlelwane obuphucukileyo bwamkelekileyo kwihlabathi lonke." Abasetyhini bakhulu kunesitampu esithobekileyo kwiipassports zabo. "Utshintshi?" Ukhawuleza. Uphendule, uyaphendula, akakwazi ukuchaza izizathu zokuthanda kwakhe izitampu. Unetyala lolwazi. Ibhinqa, nangona ingaqhelekanga ngokupheleleyo kwimithetho, ivakalelwa inkohliso yentliziyo yakhe, iguqulwe kumtshato wamahhala.


Umtshato womtshato wazalwa eNetherlands ngekhulu le-16. Abantu beenkolelo ezahlukeneyo babengenakutshata kunye namanyano amanyeneyo asemthethweni. Namhlanje, ngokuchaseneyo, umtshato ongabhaliswanga, nangemva komtshato, uthathwa njengoluntu.

Emazantsi, umtshato womtshato usetyenziswe ixesha elide. Kungekudala, ubudlelwane obunjalo buye buthandwa kuthi. Izibini ezithandanayo zikholelwa ukuba ngaphambi kokuba i-ofisi yokubhalisa ibalulekile ukuhlala kunye, ukujonga ngenyameko, ukuzama kwiqabane elizayo.

Ulwalamano olunjalo, ngakwesinye icala, luncedo oluninzi. Inkululeko-yengqondo kunye neengxelo, ukwandiswa kwexesha lothando, ithuba lokuthatha kalula. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umtshato wasemzimbeni unemijelo ebukhali. Kwaye abaxhalabele ngothando. Ekubeni umtshato onjalo ungabonakaliswa ngumthetho, kwimeko yokuba "umtshato", abahlali bemihlali abanamalungelo omthetho kwipropati edibeneyo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umfazi womntu angazange asebenze, kwaye wahola ipulazi, emva kokuhlukana "nomyeni", wayenokuba lula kwisitalato. Yintoni eyayiza - kunye nokushiya-isiqubulo somtshato womtshato. Kwaye abantu "ngokuqhawula umtshato", njengomthetho, abahluphekanga. Bafumana imali, ipropati edibeneyo, izindlu, njl njl. Akumangalisi ukuba balwela inkululeko kwiitampu! Eli bhinqa lisekho emsebenzini.

Emazantsi, umtshato womtshato ngumgaqo-mthethweni. EUnited States, ibhinqa eliye lafumana imeko efana nayo inokufaka ifowuni yokuqatshelwa kokubambisana ngomtshato. Ukubonakaliswa kweenyaniso zokuhlala rhoqo, ukubonakala kunye kunye noluntu, ubudlelwane bezesondo, ufumana amalungelo omfazi osemthethweni. KwiRiphabhliki yaseDominican, ukuba abantu bahlala ndawonye iminyaka engaphezu kwe-4, banelungelo lokuhlala kwipropati njengomlingane. Kwaye eFransi, abantu abahlala kunye nabo banokugqiba isivumelwano somanyano wabantu, esichazela ubudlelwane bepropati.

Kuthi kuthi ngathi? Kwimeko yomtshato osemthethweni, yonke into iyacaca. I-Family Code Code ikhusela abatshati kwaye, xa kwenzeka umtshato, bobabini bafumana isigxina somhlaba. Yintoni enokuyenza xa umtshato ungafanelekanga? Mhlawumbi, ukukhupha isivumelwano somtshato?

Isiqendu 40 seNkcazo yoLuntu sithi: "Isivumelwano somtshato sivumelwano phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo, okanye ngabafazi abasemthethweni, ukulawula ubudlelwane babo bepropati ngexesha lokudibanisa ubomi, kunye nokuqhawula umtshato." Ukuguqulelwa kolwimi lomntu, oku kuthetha ukuba kuphela abaqinileyo abasemthethweni abangena kwisivumelwano somtshato. Nangona uxwebhu lusayinwe ngaphambi komtshato, luya kusebenza kuphela ngexesha lokubethelwa kwesitampu kwipaspoti. Abaqabane abangenamthetho abanalo ilungelo lokungena kwisivumelwano somtshato.

Ngokutsho kwamahemuhemu, imbono yomthetho ebeka umgangatho womtshato womtshato uhambela engqondweni yabo. Kodwa ngelixa lingafezekanga, abagwebi bacebisa oku kulandelayo.

Ukuba abafazi bomtshato bafumana into yokuba bahlanganyele xa kwenzeka ukuhlukana, ngoko kufuneka unakekele oku kwangaphambili. Ngokufanayo-gcina ingxelo epheleleyo, lungisa zonke iindleko, ukuthenga. Kungcono ukubhalisa ipropati efanayo kubunikazi abelwe okanye obambene. Kule meko, kukho ithuba lokuzibophelela. Abo bangayithobeli le ngcebiso kwaye emva kokuba "umtshato" uzama ukufakazela ukuba amalungelo abo kwipropati aya kudana. Ayikho ibango enkundleni yaseRussia ayizange iphumelele, nangona kukho iinzame.

Njengoko ubona, intuition yabasetyhini ayikhohlisi. Umtshato womtshato uphathwe ngobuqili obukhulu. Kwaye isitampu epasipoti sinokuthenjwa ngakumbi!

Kwaye ngoku iinqununu malunga nalabo abafuna ukujika kumfazi womntu abe ngumfazi osemthethweni. Ukuqala, siza kugqiba amathuba akho okuwina.

Imeko yokuqala: uhlala kunye iminyaka engaphantsi kweminyaka emine.

Le meko iyona nto inenzuzo kwiinjongo zeengqondo. Unethuba elikhulu lokuva uhambo lukaMendelssohn. Okokuqala, ngenxa yokuba uthando lokuqala lusaphila, kwaye okokuqala ngqa "yokugaya" uye waphila ngokuphepha, ngaloo ndlela uqinisekisa ukuba unokuhlala ngokupheleleyo kwintsimi enye. Zive ukhululekile ukuqala ukucwangcisa iqabane lomntu ngenjongo yokwenza ulwalamano. Lo ngumzuzu ofanelekileyo - indoda iyaqonda ukuba ifumene enye yodwa, iqinisekise ukuba ukuhlala kunye kulungile, kwaye ngelo xesha akazange alahlekelwe yimvakalelo yothando . Unalo lonke ithuba lokuba ngumfazi!

Isimo sesibini: uhlala iminyaka engaphezu kwezine kwaye awunabantwana.

Kulo xesha, ngokweengcali zeengqondo, ukudumala nokutholwa komnye nomnye "ngokukhanya kwangempela." Ukubeka nje, amehlo epinki aphuma emehlweni kwaye ubona iqabane lakho lonke. Njengomthetho, abasetyhini abafumana uxolo ngobunono, bafuna ukutshata. Kuhluke kumadoda. Kule "xesha" uya kuba nzima ukukholisa indoda yomntu ukuba yenze umtshato. Uhlala kunye nawe kwaye unakho konke akufunayo-umfazi wakhe oyintanda ecaleni kwakhe, indlela ahlala ngayo kunye ... nepasipoti yakhe ecocekileyo. Okwangoku, iingxabano ezingapheliyo ziqala ngesihloko esithi: "Hayi, uya kuthini na le sitampu?" Unamathuba, kodwa kufuneka uphuthumele.

Imeko yesithathu: uhlala ixesha elidala kwaye unabantwana.

Ngokomgaqo, awudingi iiluleko zethu. Oku kukhethwa kwakho kunye kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo sele uvumelene nomyeni wakho ukuba "isitampu ayiniki nto." Kulo "xesha" lo mfazi uyaziqinisekisa ngezibonelelo zomtshato wamahhala kwaye aze azame ukusasaza. Olu hlobo lokuphendula ngokukhuseleka kwe-psyche. Amathuba okudala umtshato oseburhulumenteni aqhelekanga-ngenxa yokungahambi komnqweno wamabini omabini.

Ngoku ukuba sinqume ngamathuba okumisa umtshato osemthethweni, masiqhubekele kwiingcebiso ezisebenzayo. Ngoko, yintoni omele uyenze xa uphupha malunga nesigqubuthelo kunye nomsitho womtshato, kwaye umyeni wakho ukuxelela malunga nomhla wokutshata komtshato?

Ngokuxhomekeka kwimeko yobakhethiweyo bakho, khetha iqhinga elifanelekileyo:

Indoda enomsindo inokukhala ngezinyembezi, intetho ephuphayo yomtshato okanye i-honeymoon.

Umlingane onengqiqo engqondweni unokufakwa yonke into ngokufanelekileyo. Makhe afunde eli nqaku elingentla, umzekelo. Ndixelele ukuba ufuna ukuziva uzikhuselekile. Amadoda afana nokuma ukukhuselwa kwabasetyhini ababuthathaka.

Umntu oxakeke kakhulu ngombono wabanye unokuthatyathwa kule nto - ngaba izalamane, izalamane, ootitshala nabo bathi? Ngendlela, umsebenzi uphumelela kakhulu kumadoda ashade kwaye banako ukuqeshwa. Emva koko, ubukho beetampu bubonisa ukuba nakho ukuxanduva kwabanye. Ngaphandle kwempikiswano?

Ngokuqinisekileyo, umcimbi wepropati ochaphazelekayo kwinqaku le nto yinto enzima kakhulu, kwaye umntu kufuneka abe nesidlo esinqabileyo ukuze angabi neentloni xa exoxisana nomyeni wakhe. Kodwa ngokwenene singabesifazane! Mxelele ukuba uyamthanda kakhulu, ukuba ufuna ukuthwala igama lakhe, uzele abantwana bakhe. Ewe, enye yezindlela ezifanelekileyo zokufumana indoda ukutshata kukungavumi ukuzala kuze kube ngumtshato. Ngoko ndixelele-andifuni ukuba abantwana bam bangatshatanga! Apha andiyikho namhlanje, kunye nephuzu. Nabani na umntu oqhelekileyo ufuna abantwana abatshatileyo. Ukuba awuyithandi loo nto, kufuneka uqikelele ukuba ngaba wenze ukhetho olufanelekileyo.

Ukuba umntwana sele sele, kunzima kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuba unanto yokugubungela - sele usinike umyeni wakho konke onako. Nangona kunjalo, abaninzi oomama "basekuhlaleni" emva kokuzalwa komntwana wokuqala bavumelana nesitampu kwifasipoti yabo. Into ephambili, kwakhona, akufanele ilahleke ixesha xa ubaba osandul 'ukuzalwa ethinteka kwinqanaba lokutshatyalaliswa. Unokuchazela ukuba inkqubo yesikhathi esizayo yokwamkelwa komntwana wakho uhlambulukile-kwaye phantsi kwesi shishini uza kufumana isitampu esinqwenelayo.

Ukuba indoda yakho yomntu ayenqabe ukutshata, kodwa ikukhokela nje ngeempumlo ngezithembiso ezingenanto, ukucima isitampu kwixesha elizayo-kwaye oku kuyindlela ethandekayo yindoda - ungayi kuphelelwa yithemba. Unokuza kunceda izihlobo zomyeni wakhe. Ewe, ewe, kungcono ukuba nobuhlobo bokwenene nobuhlobo bokamva. Ukuba ulawula ukulungiselela umkhwekazi wakho, qi niseka, uza kwenza konke unyana wakhe ukutshata naye. Ngokukodwa, ukuba uya kutyelela oko ufuna ngokwenene, kodwa awukwazi ukuzala abazukulu abangakazalwa. Ngaphantsi koxinzelelo lwabafazi abathandekayo ababini, inqaba yokuzimela yindoda ngokuqinisekileyo iyawa.

Ukuba unenhlanhla kwiintsapho zakho, okanye umyeni wakho wayenenkani kakhulu, kwaye akavumelani ukutshata naluphi na uhlobo, kufuneka ukhumbule ngefilosofi. Akukho nto kule hlabathi eyenzeka ngengozi. Yaye ukuba umtshato wakho ungabonakali, mhlawumbi ngowona nto ingcono? Mhlawumbi isifo sikulungiselele enye indoda, kwaye ngelixa ulwa nesitampu, isiqingatha sakho sikufuna emhlabeni jikelele? Ngendlela, nokuba ungeyenafilosofi, ndiyakumcebisa ukuba wabelane ngezi ngcamango nendoda. Mxelele ibali le-intombi ehlala emtshatweni womtshato, kwaye umbulele uThixo ukuba abazange batshate, kuba wayekhe wathandana ... Kubantu, la mabali enza njenge-ammonia. Kungona naphezu kokuba "umtshato okhululekileyo" amadoda ahlala bengabanikazi.

Ekugqibeleni - abanqwenela abafazi belizwe elizayo. Ukuze ukhangelane nomtshato womtshato, akukho nto ihlazo. Kuya kwomeleza umanyano wakho ukuba usebenza ngokucacileyo ukususela ekuqaleni. Ngaphambi kokuba uvumelane "uhlala kunye", cacisa ixesha. Hlela ekuqaleni, ukuba xa konke kuhamba kakuhle, uza kutshata ngeenyanga ezintandathu, umzekelo. Kule meko, uya kuba nekhalenda ngesimo somntu onyanisekileyo. Kwaye ungacingi ukuba ukuthetha ngomtshato kusabisa abantu. Ewe, baphatha ngokulumkisa, oku kungokwemvelo, kodwa bavuma ukuhlala kunye , nawuphi na umntu uyaqonda ukuba uya kudala intsapho-nangona i-informal-yesibindi isichazela umnqweno wakhe wokutshintsha igama lakhe emva kwexesha elithile. Inhlanhla!