Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ingxoxo kwesi sihloko, kubalulekile ukuqonda le ngcamango. Abaninzi bayazibona ukunyaniseka ngoxubusho oluqhelekileyo "uya kuphi na?" Isidenge! ". Kodwa iimeko ezinjalo zemihla ngemihla, nangona sifumana kuwo phantse yonke imihla, kuphela kuphela isicwiliso se-iceberg: kunye noqeqesho oluncinane nabo onokuhlangabezana nayo. Yintoni eyona nzima kunobunzima ngokubanzi kwegama.
Uvelaphi "ukunyaniseka"?
Ukuba ukhumbule ibali leBhayibhile elibuhlungu ngelinye lamadodana kaNowa, Hama, kunokubonakala ngathi indoda ayifumananga nantoni na; ngokuqinisekileyo, wathola utywala wayesehamba, kakuhle, watshela abazalwana malunga noko akubonayo-ngaba le nto iyisizathu sokugwetywa? Kutheni emva koko imbono "yokunyaniseka" yaqala ukubonisa ukuziphatha kakubi?
Ukuqhayisa kudla ngokubakho ngamabango anamandla. Ukubonakaliswa ekunxibelelweni okungafanelanga ukuthetha, xa umntu ebiza ukuba phezulu, kodwa akanalo. Kwixesha la mandulo, kwakukholelwa ukuba unyana oye wabona ubuze bukayise wayibonisa ukungamhloneli umzali ngale ndlela. Yaye maxesha atshintshe, imvelaphi yale nto ifanayo: ufumana impendulo ongayilindele. Ngoko ukunyaniseka kungabonakaliswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Uza ku-ZhEK uncedo, kwaye unina ewindow ubeka ngokucophelela iminwe yakhe, endaweni yokuphendula isibingelelo, uhlambe. Ufunda ingxelo kwingqungquthela, kodwa umninimzi ongenakukuphazamisa wena-ubonisa ukungabi nhlonipho. Uyaphuza umyeni wakho kwiisokisi ezihlakazekile - sele usugijime? "Ikoyiko kukuba sonke sisebenza njengamaqhekeza ngamaxesha ahlukeneyo, kwaye le nto inengcaciso ecacileyo.
Ukugqithisa ngenye yezindlela ezamkelekileyo zokuba ubaleke ngokukhawuleza. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kuluhlobo lokuzikhusela, ngamanye amaxesha unomnqweno wokubonisa ngubani ophetheyo apha, kwaye omnye umntu uyindlela yokuhlangabezana neengxabano zangaphakathi. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyakholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ihlabathi lonke liphendukele kuwe akuyona indawo enhle kakhulu, jonga ngaphakathi kuwe kuqala-mhlawumbi nawe uzithatha kakhulu?
Ngokubukeka kwaye akunakutsholwa
Ingxaki kukuba ukunyaniseka yinto yokuzithoba kombono. Sonke sinokukhululwa okuhlukileyo, kwaye umntu unelisekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba acaphuke, kwaye umntu kunye nefosholo angahlawuliswa ngokungenacala. Kodwa musa ukuyeka, umqathango usesekho, kwaye sele sithe wachaza oko: impendulo engalingani kwizenzo ezithile. Ukuba ungathandabuzeki ukuchaneka kwakho okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, krokreka ngokuchukumisa kunye neparanoia, gcina iphepha lokukopela.
Khumbula ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo akusiyo isono kunye necala:
- Imifanekiso "Awuqondi kakuhle mna", "Kusobala", "Ungaziqondi njani oku?", "Uyaziwa ngabantu bonke", "Enyanisweni, yonke into ephosakeleyo" kubonakala ngathi ayiyingozi, kodwa eqinisweni isichukumisa kwisilumko somdlali .
- Abantu babuza umbuzo, kodwa abaphulaphuli impendulo, okanye batshintsha isihloko sesincoko ngokukhawuleza.
- Umntu uchaza uluvo lwakhe ngento ebalulekileyo, kwaye umnxibelelwano uhleka ngokungalindelekanga.
- Umchasi uyaphazamisa umnxibelelwano okanye uqhuba incoko njengokungathi uthanda.
- Ngexesha le ncoko, umchasi ujika okanye azenza ngathi ngoku akayi kuye.
- Umntu ubangela umdla wokuzidla ngokugqithiseleyo: umntu uyahlolwa, achukumise.
- Ekubeni buntwini bathetha ngaye kumntu wesithathu.
Siyayiqonda, siyayiqonda, andivuyi ukuba uqaphele ukuba uyilungu. Ngokukodwa abanye abantu bakholelwa ngokuphosakeleyo ukuba ngabemi bodwa abanesakhono sokungaqondisi izinto. Kwaye wena, umzekelo, unomntwana ofudumele nomama oqinileyo emva kwabo, amabanga amahle esikolweni, idiploma eneentlonelo, i-degree degree, i-classic umculo, iindiyetha. Kodwa masikutshintshe i kwaye ndilahleke isohlwayo elingadingekile. Ngoko ke, kutheni ukunyaniseka kuyinto eqhelekileyo? Kuba ukuba ungenalo sixhobo, ufuna ukubonisa umyeni wakho ophetheyo apha, usebenzise i-uppercut, kunye nendoda ethandekayo, kungenzeka, iphendule ngesikhonkwane ngakwesokudla. Kodwa wena uthi nje: "Vuka ebhedeni, nguwuphi na uyihlo, isinyundo ekugqibeleni ikhonkwane, ngoko u-Igor Popov uthenge uMas imoto," uyaphendula ngelithi: "Hamba, ha? Okanye, ukukhwabanisa kumphathi oyisiphukuphuku, usenokuba uchazile kwintlanganiso jikelele: "Uyazi ntoni, Aristarkh Epifanievich? Umgaqo-nkqubo wokulawula isebe unonakele, udibanise abasebenzi, udidisa." Uhlala kwixesha lokungavalelwanga ngaphandle kokuba umnyango uyaphakamisa kangangoko kunokuba uqhelekileyo. Yaye uyazi, vumela ukuziphatha kwakho kunzima ukubiza umzekelo, kodwa kulungile. Kungenxa yokuba konke oku akuyona nto iboniswa ngumsindo ("Ndingubani na?" Andiyikho nto "), ukuvakalelwa ngabantu abaqhelekileyo kunye nokubanceda ukukhusela iimpawu zabo. Yaye ukuba ungamniki intando, imiphumo ingaba buhlungu kakhulu.
Impendulo ihambe
Esinye sezibonakaliso eziphambili zomntu oqolileyo kukukwazi ukuziva umsindo wakhe kuloo mizuzu xa uvele nje. Emva koko, kamva, ezele ubushushu, umntu uyaba buthathaka ngaphambi kokuba abe namandla. Kuya kuba yinto enhle, ukuba uyakwazi ukuqonda ukucaphukisa kweso sihlandlo esiphucukileyo, xa sithatha kuphela ingcambu kwaye ngokukhawuleza siyeke i-steam: bhidliza i-antistress ibhola, hambahamba ngokukhawuleza, kwaye uvele ubonise ukunganeliseki, kodwa ngokuthobeka, njengoko bethetha, ngaphandle kokungena. Kodwa, ngelishwa, ininzi yethu yimveliso yemfundo yeSoviet system. Ukususela ebuntwaneni siye safundiswa ukuba akuphosakele ukuziva umsindo, kungafanelekile, kufuneka uvimbele iimvakalelo, ube namandla. Yingakho abantu abadala abadala bengakwazi ukufumana ukucaphukisa ngexesha kwaye babandezeleke ekugqibeleni, banikezele ukuziphatha kakubi ekupheleni. Kwaye oku kubonakala kungekuphela nje ukuhlambalaza, kodwa unamahloni, izakhamuzi ezinengqiqo-nje ukuphendula kwimiba emibini eyahlukileyo. Ukunyanyiswa kukubonakalisa ezintweni ezintathu:
- ku ziphatha;
- ngcamango;
- kwi physiology.
Iingcali zeenkcubeko ziye zaxhalabisa ukuba ukuphendula ngokunyaniseka kwimihlaba yethu yenkcubeko ayamkelekanga. Bambiza oku kubuthathaka kolawulo lwentlalo. Ifomula ilula: ukunganakwa, ukwandiswa ngesiqubulo esithi "elowo uqobo," lilingana ne "ntyatyambo yokungabikho mthethweni kuluntu."
Yintoni endiyenzayo?
Ukuze ukwazi ukujamelana nokunyaniseka, kufuneka uqaphele ukuba umoya "ongenakuphendula, ube ngaphezu kwawo" ulahlekelwe ukubaluleka kwawo. Okokuqala, kuba usabela ngendlela enye. Umbuzo wendlela kuphela: yithetha into ekuphenduleni (evela ngaphandle) okanye uya kuhlaselwa ngaphakathi kwakho (ngaphandle). Ngengqondo yakho kunye nomzimba wakho, "owangaphandle" oyingqiqo usebenza kakubi: uyayikhumbula umvakalelo wexhala kunye neengqondo? Kodwa musa ukucinga ukuba siyanxusa ukuba ufunde ukuziphatha kakubi: impendulo kumxhaphazi ayithethi ukunyaniseka. Ngoko ke, ukuba unqumle ngokukhawuleza umnqweno wokuthengisa, umthengisi uthengisa: "Baninzi benu, kwaye ndedwa, zonke izinto zenzeke apha!", Musa ukukhumbuza ngokugqithiseleyo zonke iilwimi ezingcolileyo oye wafundiswa esikolweni esiphakeme. Kwanele ukuthatha isibini sokuphefumula kwaye ukhumbule ukuba ukusika isobho kunye nokukhonzela abathengi ngumsebenzi ojongene nentombazana. Ngako oko, khankanya nje le nto ngenzondelelo, ngokuzithoba, kodwa ngokuqinile: "Ndiyaxolisa, ungumthengisi, kwaye ndingumthengi. Njengomthetho, loo mabinzana ayamangalisa.
Kukho enye imfihlelo: amaxesha amaninzi amaxhoba obundlobongelayo angazange acaphukise umhlaseli. Khumbula iintsuku ezimbi: umphathi akayithandi iphrojekthi yakho, imoto yaqhekeka, ngaphandle kokuba isilumkiso samanzi ashushu aphelile, kwaye ngoku i-hamovataya efanayo ithengisa i-hamovataya kwaye iba ngumzila wokugqibela. Urhulumente wangaphakathi awubonakali nje kwintetho ebusweni, kodwa nakubonakala kwangaphandle. Ngoko ke, ukuba ukhangele kwaye uziphathe ngendlela engaqinisekanga, kwaye mhlawumbi ekukhanyeni kweziganeko zakutshanje, ucatshukiswa, ke amathuba okuba angene embonweni weengcamango zikhula ngokukhawuleza.
Isiphetho sinye: ungafuni ukujamelana neziganeko ezingathandekiyo - bukela isimo sakho sangaphakathi. Awufuni ukuba ngumlingo? Emva koko ulungele umva wakho, jonga abantu emehlweni, uthethe ngoxolo, ngaphandle kokungena kwi-whisper kunye nokumemeza kakhulu.
Gcina, ndiyitshise!
Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba yena ngokwakhe akafuni ukunyuka ekuphenduleni, mhlawumbi akuyona into echanekileyo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ayikho into ekhohlakeleyo, okanye ifikelele kwisibamba kwaye ilungele ukudla nabani na odibana naye, kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuphendula ngokufanelekileyo. Iziqhelo zaseMpuma ziyakunceda kule nto, umzekelo ukuphefumla. Ukuphefumula okucothayo kunye nokuphefumula kuya kukuvumela ukuba ufumane ibhalansi, ngokukhawuleza kwaye imfutshane-phantse utshintshe ngokukhawuleza ukuvela kwintliziyo yangaphandle. Enye indlela ilungile kwaye yafika kuthi evela eU.SA. Endaweni yokugxeka amagama okanye ukukhala, ziye uzibuze:
- Yintoni eyongongelayo ngoku? (Khangela imeko engaphandle);
- Yintoni le yongongelayo? (Khangela ngaphakathi kwakho: igunya, iimvakalelo);
- Yintoni endiyenzayo ukuze ndikhusele, ngaphandle kokuhamba ngaphaya kwemida yokuziphatha?