Kwiminyaka emibini edluleyo yeminyaka, abantu baqala ukushumayela ngcamango yomtshato wesigxina. Kuzo zonke iikholeji, uluntu luye lwaqhuba kakubi endleleni yokuzama ukuzinzisa ukunyanzeliswa kwesithembu sabantu. Kwaye ingxoxo malunga nokuba isimo sengqondo se "monogamy" sinikwe ngokwemvelo okanye senziwa ngumntu asinakuhlala kude. Kubonakala ngathi kuphela ngabafazi abaxhomekeke kwiingcaphephe zentsapho kunye nomtshato omncinci, kuba bafuna ukutshata nomyeni wabo othandekayo, bakhulise abantwana kunye nokufa ngosuku olunye. Iingcamango zesigodlo samakhosikazi amanxiba angathandabuzekiyo, esi sizathu sokuba iziganeko zengqondo zendoda neyabasetyhini kwiintlalontle zentsapho azikwazi kuthiwa zifana.
Kwimvelo, zininzi iintlobo zezilwanyana - zombini zizenzeke kwaye ziphuhliswe kakuhle - apho umongameli wendalo wendlela yokwenza iimbini. Izilwanyana, ama-parrots ama-wavy, i-swans, ezinye iintlobo zee-geese zihlala kunye nomlingane omnye kunye nobomi babo, kwaye ngokuhlala zihlala zithembekile nangemva kokufa kwakhe. Kodwa kunye nezilwanyana ezizodwa zine "iikopi" ezihlukeneyo ezinokuthi zitshintshe iinqanaba zazo kunye namanye amabhinqa. Amabhinqa athatha inxaxheba ekutshatyalaliseni izibini ezitshatileyo, kwi-geese, izimpisi kunye nezinye izilwanyana ezifundwa yioopsychologists, zihlala kwiindawo ezisezantsi kunabo bonke emhlambini. Njengabantu, izilwanyana zinomfanekiso "wokuziphatha kabini": indoda inokuphalaza "kumfazi" wayo, amabhinqa enza okungakumbi ukuxolela.
Abantu, ngokuqinisekileyo, baye kude nezilwanyana ekuphuhliseni kwabo. Kodwa awanamathelani neempawu zezikhundla zesilisa kunye nabasetyhini ngokumalunga neembopheleleko zentsapho. Abasetyhini ngokuqhelekileyo banamalungu omtshato, banokwenza ukuba yinto ephela yenzame, batyala imali eninzi yokufuna umyeni, kwaye ngokumgcina esondelene nabo. Ubume bomfazi otshatileyo kuluntu luphakamileyo kakhulu kunesimo seqabane eliqhawule umtshato okanye elinye iqela. Ngokumalunga namadoda, bahlala bengadingi umtshato. Kwaye ukuba baqatshatile, bahlala becinga intsapho eyongezelelweyo inkxaso kwimpumelelo yabo ngaphandle kwayo.
Inani elikhulu leengxaki zentsapho kwizibini ezibini zibangelwa ukuba iindawo zesetyhini kwiintsapho zentsapho zihlala zisengozini. Ibhinqa lilindela kumntu into efanayo ukulungele ukungenisa kwintsapho yakhe, kwaye indoda kule nto ayisoloko ilungile. Izazi zenzululwazi ziyamangaliswa ngamaxesha onke, zeziphi izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokuba umntu atshate. Abasetyhini abaninzi bangadana xa befunda ukuba iinjongo eziphambili kumntu ukwakha intsapho kuyinzame yokufumana ukulala ngokwesondo kunye nomfazi othandayo embhedeni wakhe. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuze ulondoloze intsapho, ukukwazi ukupheka i-borscht kwaye uhlambe iileta akuyona nto ebaluleke kakhulu. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba amandla omfazi ahlale ebudlelwaneni beentsapho kunye nenqanaba elaneleyo lomdla kunye nobutyebi, ukuxhomekeka kwendoda ngeendlela kunye nexesha apho aphupha khona. Kwaye akukho nto i-primitivism okanye i-simplified view of the marriage. Ngokuqinisekileyo, amadoda anesisombululo esibalulekileyo njengokuzalwa ngokusemthethweni kweendlalifa, ikhaya elihle kunye nesidlo esinokufudumala. Ngomsebenzi nje kuphela okwesibini, kwaye ebomini bendoda esitshatileyo abayiyo yonke indawo efanayo nabesifazana abelwe kuyo.
Izibalo zibonisa ukuba amadoda aphumelele ngokuphumelelayo iinjongo zabo. Amadoda asetshatiweyo, nangona ayenyanisekile kwisigxina sawo, alala ngesondo ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunezikolo eziqhekeza. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba bunjani ubungqingili bokuzibetha kwakhe ekuthandeni ngaphambili, kwaye ngokwenene ukuhudula ibhinqa ukuya embhedeni ulawula ixesha elide kunokuba ngumntu oqabane naye. Ngoko kuvela ukuba abantu bafezekise into abayitshatileyo - ubomi obusisigxina nobunzulu besini.
Kuthiwani ngabafazi? Abafazi bahlala bedidekile ngomtshato emva kwexesha elithile emva komtshato. Iziganeko zengqondo zezikhundla zesilisa kunye nabesifazane kwiintlalontle zentsapho zihlukile, kwaye loo mntu ulungele ukuhlawula umtshato ngesondo, kwaye umfazi uyavuyela ukunikela ngesini ngesondo ngenxa yomtshato. Kwaye ukuba emva kokutshintshisana kwezifungo zokuthembeka kwi-ofisi yokubhalisa yesithili umfazi uphinde ahlawule, unqabile ukuhlawula ngokwaneleyo ngesondo, kwaye uqala ukuhlawula ngokugqithiseleyo kwezinye iinkalo zobomi bentsapho, ngokusoloko kulindelwe iimvavanyo ezinzima. Iingxoxo ezifanayo zibonisa ukuba akukho madoda angaphezu kwe-20% alungele ukuqwalasela umfazi wabo njengomhlobo wabo omhle. Baya kukhetha umhlobo wakhe kwisini, ngenxa yokuba abanomdla ekufundeni ukungafani kokucinga phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, ingcamango yabasetyhini ivame ukubacaphukisa okanye ayibangele ukuba baqhubeke bexelisa intliziyo ngentliziyo. Indoda inokuthetha ngokulula nomfazi kuphela kwizihloko zendlu, kwaye ukuba bayakwazi ukuthetha kuze kube sebusuku ngaphambi komtshato, emva kokutshata, umfazi uhlala edidekile ukuba umyeni wakhe akafuni ukuthetha naye.
Unokwenza ulwahlulo olunjengokuthi uyakuthanda: xhaphaza, uqhawule umtshato, khetha ukodwa, uzame ukutshintsha uhlobo lomntu okanye umfazi. Kodwa indlela eyakhayo ebantwini ababini abahlukeneyo ukudala intsapho enoqinileyo novuyo kukufunda i-psychology yesini esahlukileyo, ukufuna iindlela zokuqonda. Ibhinqa kufuneka liqwalasele ngokunyamekela iminqweno yesini yomlingane. Umyeni kufuneka afune iindlela zokunxibelelana nomfazi wakhe, nangona ukuba ukhathele kwaye akanalo ixesha lokungahambi lutho ngaphandle komsebenzi. Kule meko le sibini sinalo ithuba lokufezekisa ukuvisisana kobudlelwane. Ngaphandle koko, musa ukulibala ukuba ngexesha lethu, ukuchaswa komtshato akukhathazi mntu. Ngoko bobabini indoda nomfazi bahlala bodwa besazela esicacileyo kwaye bengenalo ukoyika ukugwetywa kwintlalo yoluntu, kwaye uthando lufunwa kwiimvanoveli ezinomdla, ezilandelanayo. Ekugqibeleni, ukuba kukho umntu ofanelekileyo, ubomi bentsapho buyakhelwe ngokwabo, kwaye akuyi kuba kuhamba kunye nesitampu kwipaspoti.