Ingcebiso yesazi sengqondo, ukuba umyeni wakhe ungowokuqala ngabahlobo, ekubonweni kokuqala, kungabi nakudingeka. Kubonakala kulula ngokwaneleyo ukuba baqonde okanye bacele malunga naloo mntu wesinye isini. Akuyimfuneko ukuyiqonda, ukwenza izicwangciso ezinzima. Amadoda ayilona ezinye izidalwa ezisuka kwenye iplanethi, esinawo ulwimi olufanayo. Singaba lula, eqinisweni, sisebenzise umdla kwaye sizibeke ezicathulweni zomntu onjalo.
Phantse bonke abafana bakhetha kwindawo yokuqala ukuba bahlobo babo, abayincinci kwindawo yabo yokuqala intombazana. Emva koko, amantombazana eze aze ahambe, intombazana yinto enye ke enye into, kwaye kufuneka uziphatha nabo ngokungafaniyo, kwaye abahlobo baya kuhlala beqonda kwaye bahlale behlala. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa abahlobo bomyeni wakho beza kuqala? Kubonakala ngathi oku akufanele kube njalo kwaye oku kuphosakeleyo ... Kodwa kulo mzekelo, unokufumana indlela yokuphuma.
Oku akuthethi ukuba izizathu zazo zonke ziya kuba zizinto ezifanayo kunye ezifanayo zibonisa ukuba umlingani akakakhuli okanye angakulungeleli "ubudlelwane" obunzulu. Enyanisweni, izizathu zingafani, kwaye siya kuzama ukuqwalasela ingundoqo yazo, ngenxa yokuba siyazi izizathu, sinokuqonda kakuhle imeko kwaye sifumane indlela yokuphuma kuyo.
Isizathu sokuqala sinokungabikho ukulungelelanisa ubudlelwane obunzulu bomtshato, obudla ngokuphindaphindiweyo kubayeni abaselula abangazi kakuhle ukuziphatha kakuhle nabafazi. Kodwa ngokwenene, phantse bonke abantu kwelinye lamanyathelo abalulekileyo ephambili kubahlobo bakhe, umbuzo wodwa nje ukuba uthatha indawo ehamba phambili okanye ayikho. Abahlobo - oku ngenye yezona zinto zibaluleke kakhulu, inxalenye ebalulekileyo ebomini kwindoda yonke. Ngamnye wabo unentlonelo enkulu kubahlobo bakhe, uhlala ekulungele ukubanceda, kwaye ukuba ngumhlobo olungileyo ngumxholo oyinyani wonke umntu onqwenela ukuwufumana. Ukwahlukana kuphela yintoni imbono yobuhlobo inomntu, yiyiphi into ayinika yona nendlela aziphatha ngayo. Ngamanye amaxesha ukungafumanekanga akuyona ingxaki enkulu, kuba indoda ingatsholwa, yathetha naye ngeemvakalelo zakhe. Mxelele ukuba awuyithandi indlela aziphatha ngayo, kodwa yenze ngokukhawuleza, wenze isigqibo kunye kunye neengxaki kunye neepazamo zakho, umxelele oko kunokumnceda ukuba abe ngumyeni ongcono kakhulu kuwe. Ungakulibali ukukhankanya ukuba ungamvumeli ukuba abone abahlobo, abahlonele kakhulu, kodwa kuya kuba ngcono ukuba uhlawule ngakumbi.
Mhlawumbi, enye yeemeko ezinzima kakhulu, xa umntu ehamba nabahlobo bokuqala, unokukwahlukana ngokobulili. Olu hlobo lungahambahamba kumaqela kunye nabahlobo, hamba nabo kwibhola lebhola kunye nobhiya, ngexesha apho umfazi wendlu uhlambulula, ulungisa kwaye uyasula. Ekuphumuleni kwakhe, yile nto ayimele enze ngayo, uyindoda, kwaye kufuneka achithe ixesha lakhe kunye namadoda. Ibhinqa kuye lihlala intandane ethandekayo kwaye ligwinya, kodwa kwiingcamango zakhe zingaphantsi komntu kwaye zenza indima ehluke ngokupheleleyo. Indoda enjalo ayiyi kukubeka kwindawo yokuqala, ayikulungele ukukuqonda ngokuhlukileyo, kwaye ukuzama ukuyitshintsha yinto enzima kakhulu. Kule meko, kufuneka uzibuze yona, ngaba uyayifuna loo nto? Emva kwayo yonke into, xa indoda ingabonakali ngokucacileyo kumfazi, iyayicacisa ngokumalunga nabahlobo, oku kubonisa nje ukuba akafundanga kakuhle, unengcamango engamanga ngokuphathelele umtshato kunye nesini, kwaye kwezinye iimeko, le ndoda inokungeniswa kunye nomntu onobundlobongela basekhaya. Cinga ngento onokuyenza ngayo? Ngaba unokwenza uphinde uphinde ulandele ingqalelo yakhe, iingcamango, umlingiswa? Ngaba ulungele ukunyamezela olo hlobo unyango ubomi bakho?
Ukuba umntu unendawo yokuqala yobudlelwane, izazi zeengqondo zithi isizathu sokuba sisilungiselelo samagugu okugcina. Umntu ngamnye uyimfuneko, kwaye ebomini bakhe wenza iindawo zakhe zokubaluleka, ubeka indawo ephambili kwindawo yakhe. Yaye inyaniso yokuba indoda yakhe iya kuba nabahlobo kwindawo yokuqala ayithethi ukuphela kwehlabathi, le ngoluvo lwakhe, imilinganiselo yakhe, impawu yakhe, omele uyiqonde kwaye uyixhase. Ukwahlukana nje kuphela kwindlela eli lungiselelo lokuzibonakalisa ngayo, nokuba kukuthintela wena ukuba uphile, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kubekho ubunzima. Ukuba akunjalo, cinga ukuba kutheni ucinga ukuba le ngxaki? Ngaba akulula ukwamkela isikhundla somyeni aze amkele isigqibo sakhe? Emva kwakho konke, uyanithanda, uthembele kwaye uyamxabisa, wena ngowona mfazi ogqwesileyo kunye nomfazi othandekayo, umtshato wakho unokuba luhle, ngaba kukuthintela kwimeko apho indoda inamathele kakhulu kubahlobo bakhe? Ngamanye amaxesha umele ubeke eli gama kwaye uyalibale ngokuzingca kwakho. Mhlawumbi ingxaki ihleli kuwe kunye neqiniso lokuba awufuni ukuyeka "indawo yokuqala ebomini bakhe"?
Ukuba ngabahlobo bakho banefuthe elibi kumyeni wakho, kwaye uxhalabele ngaye, okanye ngenxa yabahlobo waqala ukukuphatha kakubi, indlela eyona ndlela kukuthetha ngokuthe tye. Kwengqondo, kukho into enje ngokuthi "I-imiyalezo". Lawa mabinzana avulekileyo omnxibelelwano, apho uwenza incoko evela kumntu wokuqala kwaye ubhekisele kwimfuno yakho. Ungathi "unabangane ababi, uye waba mbi kunawe, ba ... awusayi kuthobela ingqalelo ...". Kule meko, ibinzana libonwa njengengcikivo, isityholo. I-umyalezo uya kuzwakala ngathi: "Andiyithandi indlela ondiphatha ngayo kungekudala, ndifuna ukuthetha nawe malunga naloo nto, kuba andithandi kakhulu xa abahlobo bakho ...". Ukhuthaza umchasi ukuba acinge ngeemvakalelo zakho kwaye akuphulaphule.
Iingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo, ukuba indoda yakhe inokuqala ukufumana abahlobo - ungazami ukuyitshintsha ngokufihlakeleyo, sebenzisa ukuxhaphaza, uthethe naye kwaye umxelele into ongayithandiyo. Ifom kunye ulwalamano lwakho, kwaye uya kubona ukuba yonke into ingatshintshwa yimizamo ehlangeneyo.