Xa sihlobo lomntu, sikholelwa ukuba oku kubomi. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba abahlobo bethu basitshintshe baze badumise. Kwaye mhlawumbi siza kunye nemifanekiso, phantsi kwabo baqala ukuza kunye nexesha elingaphantsi. Yaye xa kufike ixesha elinjalo, ndifuna ukuqonda indlela yokuziphatheka kunye nokuba yintoni enokuyenza.
I mpazamo
Ukuze ukwazi ukuba wenzeni, kufuneka uqale uqonde ingcambu yengxaki. Kutheni udimaze umhlobo wakho? Wakwenza njani, kwaye yintoni eyakwenza ukuba ube nomoya onjalo? Bathi xa umhlobo engenzi nto esiyifunayo, usengumhlobo wethu. Le nkcazo ibuxoki kunye nobuxoki. Wonke umntu unelungelo lokwenza impazamo. Ukuba wakho umhlobo wenze into engavumelekanga kuwe, kodwa ayinakulungelelaniswa, ngoko kufuneka uzame ukungena kwindawo yakhe kwaye ungabikho. Kuyaziwa ukuba sibona iliso ngeso elingaqhelekanga, kwaye asiyikubona iigodo kwizethu. Ngako oko, ngaphambi kokuba uthi ungeke wenzeni oku, cinga, kodwa ngaba kukho imeko elolo hlobo? Mhlawumbi wena awuzange ufumane oko umhlobo wakho ahlangabezane nawo, kwaye ukuba oko kwenzeka kuwe, ubuya kwenza okufanayo, okanye ngakumbi. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyaqonda ukuba umntu uyaphenduka okanye udidekile, ngoko endaweni yokumgweba, uxhasane ngakumbi kwaye uncede ukuba aphume kwimeko.
Iintsimbi zeekhoyili
Ingxoxo enokuthi iqhutywe kwimeko xa umntu eziphatha ngendlela engavumelekiyo ngokufanelekileyo. Kule meko, nathi kufuneka siqonde isizathu sokuba enze oku. Mhlawumbi umntu wawela kwimpembelelo embi, isiganeko senzeke ebomini bakhe esitshintshe ukuba sibi, njalo njalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, khumbula ukuba abantu bazinzi ngokukhawuleza. Ezo zinto zivela ekuqaleni, okanye ebomini babo kukho into eyenza benze izinto ezingabonakaliyo kubo. Ngoko ke, ukuba ubona ukuba umhlobo wakho uziphatha kakubi kwaye udidekile, hlalutya ukuphucuka kwangoko kubomi bakhe. Mhlawumbi kufuneka uxoxe ngale meko, yikhuphe ngaphandle kwimeko apho, okanye ukuyinciphisa kwisazi sengqondo.
Masithi umhlobo wakho wayengumntu othembekileyo, wayebahlonela abafazi, njalo njalo. Kodwa emva kokungcatsha kwentombazana, i-vruganchinaet iholele indlela yokuphila, iguqule abafazi njengeiglavu kwaye zenze, zibeke ngokuthobeka, zimbi. Kule meko, endaweni yokuthetha ngokukrakra njengokuba uyisidumbu, zama nje ukumqonda - umntu ngale ndlela unengcinezelo enkulu. Wayeguqula nje indlela yokukhusela, eyathi yabonakala ibambekile kwaye engazange ayiqonde ngokwenene into ayenzayo, ezama nje ukuba ilahleke intlungu yengqondo. Kule meko, kufuneka uzame ukuxoxa naye konke okwenzekayo. Kodwa ingxoxo ayidingi ukukhokela kwisitayela: "Yintoni eyenzekayo kuwe, ungathini, awuzange ube njalo." Iingxelo ezinjalo zibangela ukucasuka kunye nobudlova. Kunoko, umele umkhumbuze ngokugqithisa izenzo zakhe ezilungileyo, indlela abanye abammncedayo ngayo, njalo njalo. Ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntu uqala ukuqhagamshelana naye, unokuzama uzame ukuxelela ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe akuyona indlela yokuphuma kwimeko, kuba abantu abangenanto ityala. Ungalokothi uphawule umhlobo wakho. Qiniseka, kwindawo ephantsi, yena ngokwakhe ukopela into ayenzayo, kodwa xa eva ukutyhola, ujika ngokukhawuleza indlela yokuzivikela yokuchasa kunye nokulungiswa. umntu ebudeni bakhe obuqhelekileyo, ngelixa engakhange aphazamiseke, kuba uya kuqala ukuziva udidekile kuye, ongeke uphumle.
Debunking i-Idea
Kodwa kwenzeka kwakhona ukuba ngomzuzwana othile asiphethwe ngumhlobo, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba waqala ukwenza ngokungalunganga. Hayi, into eyenzekayo kwaye amehlo ethu avulekile. Kwaye ke kuza ukuqonda ukuba lo mntu wayehlala esenza kakubi, kodwa sazilungisa izenzo zakhe, wasungula into eyayingenayo kwaye yabona into ababefuna ukuyibona. Le meko ibona nzima kunzima. Inyaniso kukuba apha kunzima ukutshintsha into ethile. Ewe, unokuzama ukuthetha nomhlobo wakho uze umchazele ukuba wenza okungalunganga. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo, xa umntu ejwayele ukwenza into kwaye ixesha elide ebona ukuba abantu abajikelezileyo bayasabela ngokuqhelekileyo, uyaqiniseka ukuba unelungelo kwaye uyibona ukugxekwa njengento engento elula. Ngako-ke, kukho ithuba elincinci lokuba umhlobo wakho uya kuqonda iimpazamo zakhe aze aphile ngokuhlukileyo. Ininzi, mhlawumbi uya kukuxelela ukuba uthetha izinto ezingenanto kwaye akayi kuguqula nantoni na ukuziphatha kwakho. Kwimeko enjalo, kufuneka uzinqume ukuba ngaba uyayifuna lo mntu unje okanye ukuba awuyi kuba ngcono.
Kwimeko apho ubona ukuba umhlobo akwenzi kakuhle nawe, isigqibo siyacaca. Akukaze kufuneke ukuba ufumane ubunzima bomntu oqhelekileyo, osebenzisa kakubi, othuka, njalonjalo. Ukudumala kwakho kule meko kuyisiphumo esihle sokuphula ulwalamano olunjalo kunye nokuthetha nabo bantu abanokubonga abanye baze babe nobuhlobo nabo. Kunzima kakhulu xa ukuziphatha komhlobo wakho kungamkelekanga kuwe, kodwa kwabanye abantu. Kwiimeko ezinjalo kunzima ukuchazela yena kunye nawe ukuba kutheni udidekile. Emva kwakho konke, kuya kubonakala ukuba ukuba ungumhlobo olungileyo, ngoko kutheni ucinga ngendlela asebenzelana ngayo nabanye. Nangona kunjalo, kunzima abantu abaninzi ukuba bamkele ukuba umntu uthembele ngokungalunganga kunye nabangafanelekanga. Ungadaniseka kumhlobo ngezizathu ezininzi. Ngokomzekelo, lo kuhaha, ukunyaniseka, ukuthabatha ngokumalunga nabantu abangaziwayo, ubuqhophololo njalonjalo. Kule meko, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kwimeko iya kuhamba kancane kumntu. Musa ukukhawuleza kunye nobudlelwane bakhe, kuba isenzo sakho siya kubulala kuyo yonke loo mivuzo yezinto ezilungileyo, ezisekho. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ushiye ubomi bomntu ngokukhawuleza. Zama ukubhala ngaphantsi, fowuna, umbone, uchaze ukuba awunayo ixesha njalo njalo. Kodwa musa ukulahlekelwa ngokupheleleyo. Mhlawumbi, xa uziva unobanda bakho, umntu uya kucinga ngezenzo zakhe kwaye ubuncinane utshintshe encinane. Ngendlela, unako ukuthetha ngezinye iimpazamo zakhe, kodwa yenza ngokufutshane kwaye ungangeni kwiingxoxo. UVashdrug ufuna nje ukuba aqaphele ukuba uyamgweba. Ukuba ungamniki ithuba lokuzigweba, kuya kwenzeka ukuba uya kucinga malunga noko akwenzayo. Nangona kunjalo, awuzange ube nethemba elikhulu kwaye ungakhangeli izizathu. Ngelishwa, uvele umele umntu ekuqaleni kwaye ude wazikhohlisa. Kwaye ngoku kwixesha lokuqonda inyaniso kwaye ngokukhawuleza ushiye ubomi bakhe.