Phantse bonke abantu abadala bayazi ukuba kunjani ukuhlangabezana nemvakalelo enamandla. Intukuthelo kukudabuka, ukuvuya okanye ukunyaniseka, ukufunda ukulawula le mvakalelo ayikho nto ebaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla.
Abantwana bafumana ezininzi iimvakalelo ezifana nabantu abadala. Ngenxa yokungakwazi kwabo ukuqonda kunye nokuntuleka kokukhula, abantwana bakunzima ukubonisa iimvakalelo ngokufanelekileyo.
Abantu abadala kufuneka bancede abantwana bafunde indlela yokubonisa nokuma imizwa yabo.
Ngokunikezelwa kweendleko zamanani, kukho ukungafani kwintetho yabantu abadala kunye nabantwana.
Iimvakalelo ziyintliziyo nomphefumlo wesipho. Xa sibheka kwamehlo abantwana kunye nabantu abadala, sibona imiphefumlo yabo.
Abantwana abanikiweyo bazele imizwa kunye nomdla. Abantwana abanokwenyama bahlala bekhala xa bedidekile okanye baziva bephathwa kakubi ngabazali babo, ootitshala okanye oontanga.
Abantu abaninzi abadala bayakwazi ukukhusela nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngokumalunga novelwano novelwano. Ukuphendula kwabo kwiimeko ezithile kuya kusebenza ngakumbi kunomntwana.
Nomsindo
Kubantu abaninzi, umsebenzi unokuba ngumthombo omkhulu wokuxinezeleka, kwaye uxinzelelo lunokubangela umsindo. Ukusebenza ngokubanzi, iimfuno zabaphathi kunye nokuba nomona ngenxa yokuqhubela phambili komqeshwa, kunokukhokelela ekujonganeni. Kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu abadala bayakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bafumene izicombululo kwiimeko ezininzi. Bayakwazi ukukhusela imvakalelo yemihla ngemihla kwaye banqande ukuba bangaphumi.
Abantwana abahlala belawula ingqumbo yabo, ngoko ukubonakalisa imvakalelo kungenakulawula.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba izizathu zomsindo kubantwana, abadala kufuneka bafumane iindlela zokubanceda babonise umsindo ngaphakathi kwesizathu baze bafundise ukuba bangaba nomsindo xa bevakalisa iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukungafani kwimbonakalo yomsindo kuqulethwe kukuba abantu abaninzi abadala banokuphelisa umsindo ngokukhululeka, kodwa abantwana banzima kakhulu ukujamelana nemvakalelo enjalo.
Ukulawula iimvakalelo
Abazali banako kwaye bafanele baqeqeshise kakuhle abantwana babo ukulawula iimvakalelo, kubancede ukuba baqhube baze baveze iimvakalelo zabo ngokufanelekileyo. Oku kuncedo kumntwana kwixesha elizayo.
Abantu abadala kufuneka baxoxe nabantwana ngeemeko ezahlukeneyo ezibangelwa iimvakalelo ezithile baze bafundise ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabo.
Yiba ngumzekelo kubantwana bakho. Funda kabanzi malunga nokulawula iimvakalelo usebenzisa iindlela zokufundisa ngokubeletha.
Ukukhala kuyindlela eqhelekileyo yokubonisa intlungu okanye ukunganeliseki.
Abantwana banokukhala ngenxa yokukhathazeka ngokwenyama okanye intlungu. Ukunganeliseki kubonakala ngokumemeza okanye umntwana angazikhukhumeza. Abantu abadala bavakalisa ukunganeliseki ngolwimi, ngamanye amaxesha basebenzisa i-slang.
Ukudlala imidlalo kuyisiluleko esihle sokuqeqeshwa nokuzimelela.
Imidlalo inokufundisa umntwana ukuba athethe nabanye kwaye agxininise injongo enye.
Ngokungafani nabantu abadala, abantwana abakwazi ukuveza iimvakalelo ezininzi ngomlomo, ngenxa yokuba abanalo isigama.
Abazali ngumzekelo onamandla wokulingisa abantwana babo. Ukusebenza kolawulo lwengqondo oluxanduva luyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokufundisa umntwana wakho ubuchule bokusingatha iimvakalelo.
Ukukwazi ukuchaza nokutolika ubuso beemvakalelo kubaluleke kakhulu ekunxibelelaneni kwabantu kunye nentsebenziswano yoluntu. Ubuso besithandathu bubonakala kwiintlanga ezahlukeneyo: ukuvuya, ukukrakra, ukubonakalisa intlungu, ukuxhalaba, ukunyaniseka nokumangalisa.
Imvakalelo yezimpawu kubantu abadala kunye nabantwana ngokwemvelo isahluko. Abantwana banokungena kunye novuyo, kwaye ngokumemeza ngokumangalisayo bayamangalisa. Abantu abadala bagcinwe kwiimeko ezinjalo. Inkcazo yokubandezeleka kunye nokuxhalaba kubantu abadala banokudlula ngaphandle bengenakuqonda, kwaye kubantwana la mazwi abonakala.
Ubuchule bokusabela ngeemeko sele sele bukhona kwasebuntwaneni.
Le nxalenye yenkqubo yophuhliso lwabantu. Iimvakalelo zilawulwa "iwashi yezinto eziphilayo" (ingqondo kunye nokukhula kwayo). Ukusingqongileyo kunye neempembelelo zalo kumaxesha ahlukeneyo kunokutshintsha ukuphuhliswa kwengqondo yabantwana.