Ngokuqhelekileyo yamkelwa ukuba intsapho iyona ndlela ikhethiweyo yindawo yokuhlala kunye neenkedama. Kodwa kwinkqubo yokulungiswa komntwana owamkelweyo kukho ubunzima obuninzi, kokubili kumntwana ngokwakhe kunye nabazali abasanda kuveliswa. Umntwana, enqatshelwe ngabazali bakhe, ufumana uxinzelelo lwengqondo kwaye kwinqanaba elincinciweyo lihlehliswa ngcamango yokungabi nantloni kunye nesizungu. Kulo lonke uluntu lwethu kusekho ubundlobongela obuqinileyo, phantsi kwexesha abazali abahlala besondelene nabo kufuneka bahlalutye. Ngako oko, lo mbandela uhlala unobuncwane, oko kutheni kubalulekile ukubonelela ngenkxaso kunye nenkxaso kubazali kunye nabantwana.
Omnye umba obalulekileyo omele ugqitywe ngabazali unxulumene nokubhengezwa kwemfihlelo yokwamkelwa komntwana: ingaba umntwana kufuneka axelelwe ukuba uyamkelwa; ukuba kunjalo, nini kunye nendlela engcono yokwenza ngayo. Kuze kube ngoku, abantu ngabanye bayanqikaza ukuthetha ngokuthotyelwa komntu, kodwa benza njalo ngokuqapha, ukwesaba ukungaqondi kakuhle kunye nokwesaba ukuphendula kwabanye.
Ngaphambili, iingcali zazixhomekeke ekubeni inyaniso yokwamkelwa kufuneka ihlale imfihlo. Ngoku abaninzi babo banoluvo lokuba kuyimfuneko ukuthetha, njengoko kunjalo, ngelixa ufihla le ngcaciso, uxoka kumntwana wakho, kwaye le nto idala enye inkohliso kuluhlu. Kwakhona le ngcaciso umntwana angayifunda ngethuba elivela kwizihlobo okanye abahlobo abangakhathaliyo. Kukho nawuphi na, isigqibo ngabazali.
Abazali abafihla kumntwana inyaniso yokwamkelwa kwakhe, ngaloo ndlela bazama, njengoko bacinga, ukukhusela umntwana ngengqondo yokuchaswa, isohlwayo. Kodwa intsapho eqinile inokwakhiwa kuphela ekuthembekeni nasekunyanisekeni, kwaye ubukho befihlakeleyo bubuhlungu ubomi. Kwaye kunzima ukubuyela emva kokulahlekelwa yithemba. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uxelele yonke into, njengoko kunjalo, kuba utsho nje ngomntwana malunga nendlela abonakala ngayo kwintsapho. Ukususela kwindlela ozizwa ngayo ngayo, kuya kuxhomekeka ekumamkelweni ngokuchanekileyo ngumntwana wakho wenyaniso yokuba wamkelwa.
Ukuthetha ngokumkelwa komntwana kufana nazo zonke ezinye iingxoxo ezinzulu, ekuhambeni kwexesha abazali baqala ukuqala kunye nabantwana babo, ngoko ke iingcali zicebisa ukunika ulwazi kumyinge, ngokuhambelana neminyaka yomntwana. Kuyimfuneko ukuphendula umbuzo womntwana kwaye kuphela, kwaye ungamxeleli ngombono wakho wokujonga. Njengoko ukhula, le mibuzo iya kuba nzima, kodwa uya kuba nako ukunika ulwazi olungakumbi, oluyimfuneko ekuqondeni ubunzulu bento.
Xa umzali etshela umntwana malunga nokwamkelwa ngolwimi aqondayo, ukufezwa kweqiniso lokwamkelwa kuye kuba yinto eqhelekileyo ebomini bakhe. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana kufuneka bathethe into ephindaphindiweyo baze baqonde kwaye bayayiqonda, ngoko musa ukumangaliswa kwaye ungabacaphukisi ukuba kufuneka uxelele malunga nokwamkelwa ngaphezu kwesinye. Oku akuthethi ukuba ngaphambili uye wachaza kakuhle okanye ngokungaqondakaliyo, umntwana wayengakakulungeli ukufumana olo lwazi. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuba abazali abaninzi bavulelekile ukuxoxa ngezinto ezinxulumene nokutholwa, kulula ukuba umntwana owamkelweyo.
Ukuba abazali batshela umntwana malunga nokwamkelwa ngokuvakalayo, ngokuqinisekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo, ngoko ndlela inokunceda umntwana anqobe intlungu yengqondo. Ukuba unika umntwana ukuba aqonde ukuba uhlale ekulungele ukuthetha ngokukhululekile kunye ngokufihlakeleyo malunga nokumkelwa, yile ndlela kuphela enokukunceda ngayo. Kwintetho, ungamxelela ukuba umntu umshiyile, kwaye kukho izizathu ezininzi ezi zinto, kwaye oku akunxulumene naye, kodwa wayefuna umntwana kwaye wamthabathela kuye, uqonda zonke iingxaki ezinokwenzeka, ukuze ukukhula nokuthanda. Ukujongwa ngale ndlela kweziganeko, awuyi kuzisa umonakalo, ukutyhila inyaniso yokwamkela umntwana, kodwa ufanele uhlonipheke kunye nokubulela.
Iingcali zengqondo azikho uluvo olufanayo, ngaluphi ixesha elifanele ukuxelela umntwana ukuba wamkelwa, kodwa abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba kungcono ukwenza oku ngaphambi kokukhula. Ezinye izazi zeengqondo zibiza iminyaka eyi-8-11, abanye-iminyaka eyi-3-4. Ezinye iingcali zithi ubudala obuhle xa kuphakama imibuzo evela kumxholo othi "Ndaphi na?" Enye yezinketho zokuqala ingxoxo malunga nokutholwa, iingcali zibiza ibali ngendlela yefayile. Ulwaphulo lweengxaki zefesto lukhokelo olupheleleyo kubantwana beengqondo. Ixabiso leenganekwane kukuba ziya kukuvumela ukuba uqale ingxoxo kumntu wesithathu, xa kunzima kubazali ukuqokelela iingcamango zabo kwaye abazi apho baqale khona. Ngako oko, amabali kunye neengxelo ziqalo elimangalisayo kwincoko ebalulekileyo malunga nokwamkelwa.
Wonke amanqaku anokwenzeka kwaye asebenza kwesi sihloko anike impendulo yokuba umntu kufuneka athethe kwaye akhulume ngokuvulekileyo nangokuzithemba, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo ngokukhawuleza nangokweminyaka. Umzali ngamnye uya kuziva ngokuziphatha komntwana, nokuba uyayenza okulungileyo. Into ephambili kukuba umntwana kufuneka abe nomuvo wokuthi, nangona kunjalo, uyayithanda kakhulu. Ngoku uyazi indlela yokuxelela umntwana ukuba uyamkelwa.