Umntwana omdala ungumfokazi phakathi kwakhe

Umntwana wesibini uzalwe kwintsapho, abazali bavuya kakhulu, wonke umntu uhleka, konke kulungile. Kwaye akukho mntu uvame ukubeka ingqalelo kwiinyembezi ezipheleleyo zamehlo omdala. Ngaphezu koko, abaphulaphuli, bayamgxotha, abayiboni. Ngayiphi na into eyenziwa ngabazali bokuqala kwidilesi yakhe? Into enjengokuthi "usuvele uphumelele, unokuyenza ngokwakho", "ukhululekile, kutheni uyenza le nto?", "Yinika, yinto encinci!" Emva koko abazali bayamangaliswa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba kutheni umntwana osekhulile, owayesoloko ekhulile kwaye enothando , ngokukhawuleza waqala ukubonisa ubundlobongela, akazange alawulwe, abe nexhala kwaye azikhokele ngokufanelekileyo.

Izibalo zithe cwaka: zonke iintsuku ezi-4 zokufa komntwana unyaka ngenxa yomntwana omdala. Akubangelwa ukuphazamiseka kwengozi, kodwa ngenxa yempembelelo yakhe ngamabomu. Oku akukona nje ubukhwele bomntwana, kodwa ukuphambuka okukhulu kwi-psyche. Kwaye baxanduva lo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukuyiqonda, abazali ngokwabo. Iintlekele ziyakunqandwa, abantwana banokuba ngabahlobo babo ubomi. Yenze njalo nangaphambi kokuzalwa komncinci. Kufuneka phambi, kungekhona emva.

Ukunyanyiswa komdala. Kutheni kubonakala ngathi ?

Ukuzalwa komntakwabo omncinane okanye udade kungumhlahlandlela wamakhadi ebomini bokuqala. Kwaye, nakuphi na ubudala. Umntwana omdala udidekile kwaye uloyike, kuba ngoku ufanele ahlale kwindawo yakhe siqu, amathoyizi akhe amathandayo, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - ukwahlula kabini uthando lomama noyise. Nantsi into ephambili ukuyiqonda: umntwana unokunandipha utshintsho olunjalo, kuba uyayithanda. Umona ongumntwana (ukwahlula kumntu omdala) uhlala udala uthando. Ukuba umntwana akanako ukuthanda, akayi kubonisa iimpawu zesikhwele. Lona nje umona alithethi ubukrakra nobudlova! Ukucinga ukuba ubuqhophololo buntwaneni buqhelekileyo, ukuba le "iya kudlula ngokwayo" yinto yokugqibela yabantu abadala abakhutshwa yingqondo.

Ubudala bomntwana bunomngcipheko wokutshatyalaliswa kwimvelaphi. Nangona abadala, abalishumi elinesibini, elinesihlanu, kufuneka ukuba bazive beyimfuneko kwaye babalulekile, bathandekayo kwaye banomdla. Ngoxa wayeyedwa yedwa kwintsapho, wayenayo yonke into kwaye wayenandipha umzali, wonke umntu wayenomgca wokuphuhliswa kwakhe, wamnika ithuba elincinci. Intsapho yomntwana yendalo yonke, kwaye owokuqala uhlala evakalelwa njengeziko layo. Kwaye kubonakala ngathi umntu uzenza ngathi ubaluleke ngakumbi, obaluleke ngakumbi kwaye uyathandwa. Oomama abaninzi bathi: "Umdala wam sele ekhulu, uyaqonda yonke into kwaye akabi nomona onyana." Kholwa, akunjalo. Kuyimpazamo yabantu abaninzi ukuba bacinge ukuba umdala wakhula kwaye akayidingi ukunakekelwa nokunyamekela.

Kwiminyaka eyi-3-6 yokuzalwa, ukuzalwa komntwana kudla ngokuvelisa izakhiwo zangaphakathi, bathi, iparishi yazala umntwana wesibini-andithandi. Umntu ophezulu ucinga ngokucacileyo ukuba akanakulungele, kuba umama noyise bathetha ukummisela omnye. Kuyafana ukuba abazali ngokwabo bavame ukuxhasa olu ngxaki kunye neengxelo zabo ezingaqhelekanga. Ngokomzekelo, umama uyamemeza kwidilesi yenkwenkwe: "Uyintoni na umntu onobuhle, onobuhle, onobuqili, osiqonda kakuhle kangaka! Kodwa (igama lamazibulo) kwiminyaka yakhe ayikwazi ukwenza oko. " Oku kuphazamiseka ngaphantsi kwebhanti kumntwana omdala, kuba akayi kubuya aze "alungise" iphutha lakhe, utshintshe, abe ngcono kwaye aphuculwe. Umntwana uwela kwindawo exinezelekileyo, uyabandezeleka, uyabuhlungu kwaye akhathazeke. Intukuthelo enjalo ihlala nomntu ubomi.

Iiphoso eziphambili zabazali

1. Umncinci omncinci kwiminyaka. Umntwana oneminyaka emibini ongeyena ushushu xa ejongana noyiko, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo. Akakwazi ukuzalisekisa ngokukhawuleza iimfuno zakhe ezinzulu ezibekwe kuye (ungakhangeli, ungamthinti umntwana);
2. Ukungabikho kwengqalelo kunye nokunakekelwa kwabazali. Isikhundla "unkulu, unokuzenza ngokwakho." Le nkuthazo ingaba yindleko emva kwayo yonke ilungu lentsapho;
3. Iimfuno ezingaphezulu. Abazali abaninzi bazama kanzima ukwenza umntanakho kumntwana okhulile. Kubonakala ngathi baya kuzisa umthwalo wemfanelo kwaye bafundise ukuba bathande abantwana abancinci. Kungcono ukuba ungenzi njengabacebisi abakhulu kwaye ungabi nxamnye nemali engaphantsi.

Indlela yokuphepha ukuxabana phakathi kwabantwana

1. Ukwahlukana phakathi kwabantwana akufanele kube ngaphantsi kweminyaka emithathu.
2. Umntwana wesibini kufuneka aphiliswe nomntwana wokuqala.
3. Ukubonelela (kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani) umlinganiselo ofanayo wokubaluleka kubantwana babini. Xhuma kuwo onke amalungu entsapho-uyise, ugogo, unina. Baye banakekele abadala, baveze kunye nosana, okanye vice versa - hlalani ncinane uze ukhulume nomntwana omdala.
4. Ncoma ingcinga endala yokuba ukhulu kakhulu kwaye uhloniphekile. Umzekelo: "Unokwazi uhambe nobaba wakho kwiifilimu, kodwa omncinci akanako."
5. Ukuba umntu odala ngokukhawuleza ufuna ukuba "umntwana" omncinci - ungamkhathazi kule nto. Umhla, omdala uya kuqonda ukuba uyathandwa kwaye uyindlela. Isidingo sokumxelisa omncinci siya kutshabalala.
6. Zama ukwenza abahlobo nabantwana. Bonisa umdala ukuba unokufundisa izinto ezininzi ezincedo kumntwana omncinci, kwaye makumnike omncinane ukuba umdala angamnika uninzi. Ebona ukuba abazali bayabathanda ngokulinganayo, abantwana baya kuhamba kakuhle.
7. Musa ukuguqula umkhwa wamazibulo, okwakhiwa ngaphambi kokuzalwa komncinci. Ukuba, umzekelo, umntu ophezulu ujwayele ukulala emva kokufunda ibhaliweyo - funda kuye nangemva kokuzalwa komntwana.
8. Ungalokothi uthathe izinto kumdala, ungahlali kwindawo yakhe. Ukuba ufuna ukunika umdlalo omncinci kumntu omdala, buza ngokukhululekile imvume kuye. Ukuba umntwana uyaphikisana - ungagxininisi.

Abantwana ababa nomsindo kwaye bangabi nobudlova. Senza ukuba babe ngabantu abadala. Ubukhwele obuneminyaka engama-10 ubudala bubuyiselwa kwaye abuyikrele kakhulu, ukuba wenza ngokufanelekileyo nangokuchanekileyo. Ngomzamo, uya kuba nokwenza abantwana bakho babe ngabahlobo bokwenene ubomi bonke. Ukuze uqiniseke ukuba "kwimeko yintoni" baya kuba kunye ngonaphakade baze baxhase ngonaphakade.