Amabonwakude e-TV ngamacala ogonyamelo lomzimba kwintsapho avela emoyeni phantse. Kodwa utshilo ukuba olu hlobo lwenkohlakalo alukho oluqhelekileyo ... Utshutshiso lwentsapho luyingxenye ebonakalayo yale iceberg. Kwabanye, ezinye iindlela zokuphathwa kakubi phakathi kwabatshatileyo zihlala zingabonakali, abaninzi abantu, ingakumbi abo bavela kuyo, ababheki njengobundlobongela. Ubundlobongela beengqondo bubuhlungu obungashiyi nto, ukuthulisa esikhundleni samagama, ukungcikiva endaweni yokunakwa. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukubala inani lamabhinqa namadoda namhlanje ahlaselwa ngamazwi ahlazo amaqabane abo, ukuhlaselwa kanobukrakra, ukukrokra, ukuvalela iingcango, ukunyamekela, ukunyaniseka kweemvakalelo? .. Nangona ulwalamano oluvulekileyo olusisigxina, siyaqonda ukuba kuyahambisani nobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo, ngoko Ubundlobongela namhlanje lunokufumaneka kwiintsapho ezininzi "eziqhelekileyo". Kwindlela yam yengqondo ye-psychotherapeutic, ndidla ngokujamelana neemeko apho abantu abangaqondi ukuba banobundlobongela, ngoko kube ngumkhwa. Kodwa loo mzekelo wokuziphatha idla ngokunyanisekileyo ukususela ebuntwaneni, ukusuka kwintsapho yabazali ...
Ewe, abaninzi banelungelo lokufumana le ndlela yokuziphatha: sifunda ukwakha ubudlelwane bethu ngokwemizekelo yabazali bethu abaye bafunda kwiimodeli zabo njalo njalo. Ukongezelela, ukuba umntwana wayephathwa kakubi ebuntwaneni, wayengayithobeli iimfuno zakhe njengomntu, ngoko kuya kuba nzima kuye ukuba akhethe olunye uhlobo loqhagamshelwano kunye nezihlobo, kuba engazi abanye. Kodwa konke oku akunakulungelelanisa, okanye ulwaphulo-mthetho, okanye ukubandezeleka okubangela omnye umntu. Ulwaphulo-mthetho alukwazi ukunyamezela kwabanye okanye ngaphakathi kwakho. Ukuqhekeza uluhlu olunjalo lokuqhubela phambili ngumsebenzi we-psychotherapeutic work.
Kukholelwa ukuba ixhoba lobundlobongela lihlala liyindoda ... Ndiyingozi kukumangala, kodwa kwiintsapho ezininzi kukho enye indlela. Ngaba akunqabile - ukuhlekwa kweentombi, ukuxhaphazwa, ukuhlambalaza, ukungayithobeli umlingani? Ukuba kwiimeko ezinobungqina bobugwenxa, ngokwenene, amadoda ahlala phambili (njengamandla anamandla ngokomzimba), ngoko kwimicimbi yobundlobongela ngengqondo, abanye besetyhini abaphantsi kobulili obuqinileyo. Masiqaphele, umxholo wobundlobongela bezesondo obusetyhini awuntsha: ukwanele ukuba ukhumbule "I-Tale yoLhwebi kunye neNtlanzi" ... Ngaba akungabi ncinane kunye nokutshintsha kwezizukulwana kunye nokubonakala kwazo zonke iimodeli ezintsha zobundlobongela bemihla ngemihla kwintsapho? Kukho utshintsho, kodwa, kwimbono yam, ayikho into ebalulekileyo. Enyanisweni, abantu bahlala beqhelanise phakathi kwezibonda zombini zobudlelwane babantu - uthando kunye namandla: ukufuphi kwipolisi yamandla, echazwe ngakumbi kubudlelwane obundlobongela, sisondele kwisibonda sothando, ngoko sikhululekile kuyo. Kwaye, ngelishwa, iqabane kunye neqabane ezitshatileyo, apho ubundlobongela bemihla ngemihla abukho ngokupheleleyo, namhlanje, hayi, yinto ehlukile. Ubudlova abuyi kwenzeka xa iqabane ngalinye libona komnye umntu, kungekhona yakhe impahla. Ukuze utshintshe imeko, kubalulekile ukuba siqonde zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane obundlobongela esisebenzisanayo, kuquka, ngaphandle kokuyiqonda. Kodwa mhlawumbi isisombululo esona siphumelele kwingxaki kukuthatha inxaxheba kunye neqabane elinenkohlakalo? Ukuba sithetha ngokubetha okanye ezinye izinto ezigqithiseleyo - ngokuqinisekileyo ewe. Le meko ayisoze yalungiswa yodwa, kwaye incokozo kuyo ayinakwenzeka. Ikhefu yindlela engcono kakhulu yokucacisa ukuba omnye akayithandani ubuhlobo obunjalo, kwaye akahlose ukubekezelela. Nangona isinyathelo esinjalo asilula ukwenza - kukho abantwana abaqhelekileyo, imeko zezinto eziphathekayo, njl. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, i-gap ayinakuyicombulula ingxaki yobundlobongela nakwimeko ethile yokukhonkxa: umzekelo, ukuba ibhinqa liyahlukana ngenxa yokubetha, akukho siqinisekiso sokuba ngobudlelwane balo obulandelayo, konke akuyi kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona. Ngenxa yokuba naluphi na ubudlelwane, rhoqo abantu ababini bathatha inxaxheba, okokuba, elowo maqabane abathwala i-share their responsibility. Kwaye kufuneka kuqinisekiswe ukuba kwixesha elizayo, kuya kukhululeka kwimeko yobudlelwane obundlobongela. Kwaye, ke, unganqikazi ukufuna uncedo kwi-psychologist okanye kwintsapho yengqondo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uya kuchitha okanye udibanise, kuya kukukunceda ukuba uphile.