Iqabane lakho alizange lilibale into yangaphambili: yintoni oyenzayo?

Udibana nomntu osandul 'ukutshatyalaliswa kunye nentombi yakho, kwaye uvakalelwa kukuba "umoya" walolu thando kukuthintela ukwakha ubudlelwane obugcweleyo? Ngaba uhlala ucinga ukuba umntu uyakufanisa nalowo owayengumntu, uvale ngokwakhe, unomdla ngokuzondla iimfihlelo ezithile kwaye uyacaphuka xa uzama ukumngenisa ingxoxo engathethiyo? Ewe, vuyiswa! Ube yilungu lenxantathu yothando. Kodwa akumele ubeke le nto kwaye unelungelo lokuba nobuhlobo bokwenene. Yintoni enokuyenza xa umntu engakwazi ukulibala eli langaphambili? Unokuqonda njani ukuba akabonanga uthando lwangaphambili, kwaye unokumnceda njani ukuba alahlekise ukuxhomekeka kwakhe ukuze athathe indawo ephambili entliziyweni yakhe?

Iimpawu zinyaniso ukuba loo mntu akazange ayibale le yangaphambili

Ngokwaloo nto, ngasinye saloo mpawu asithethi ukuba umfana uye wakunika indawo "yendawo yokungcebeleka", kodwa ukuba ubuncinane babo abathathu bafumane ebudlelwaneni bakho, i-alamu ephilileyo.

• Umfana udla ukuthetha igama lalokuqala. Ukuba igama le ntombazana elidlulileyo aliveli emlonyeni wenkwenkwe yakho (ehlala ikhuluma ngeengxoxo, ivakalisa igama layo ngesisa, idibanisa ngeemvakalelo okanye ngokukhawuleza ikubiza ngegama layo), qiniseka ukuba akamvumeli ukuba ahambe.
• Umfana ufanisa nawe ngaphambili. Nangona oku kuthelekiswa noko, musa ukukhawuleza ukuba ujonge ukuba ubhetele kakhulu. Ngoko unako ukuzama ukuzenzela yena ngokwakhe ukuba azikholise ukuba akukho nto ayithandayo.
• Umfana ugcina izipho kunye nezinto zangaphambili. Xa umntu engayithandi ulwalamano lwangaphambili, izinto ezidibanisa naye zangaphambili azibonakali nayiphi na ixabiso kuye. Ngoko ke, ukuba umfana ogcina ngokucophelela umtya oboshwe yintombazana yangaphambili okanye engazange athathe i-pendant yegolide enikezelwe kuye, akayilungele ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimemori yakhe.
• Umfana unomona ngomntu owayekade engumntu. Iindaba zokuthi umntu omtsha ubonakale ebomini bakhe, iqabane lakho liva kakhulu ngokomzwelo, lilingana nesiganeko nge-apocalypse? Ungathandabuzeki, uyaqonda, uyazijonga yena, kwaye akayi kubelana nothando kunye namanye amadoda.

• Umfana ucinga ukuba lowo wayesakuba ngumhlobo wakhe omhle. Kulungile ukuba uyavuyisana nentombi yakhe yangaphambili okanye uya kufumana i-SMS enomvulo evela kuye. Kodwa ukuba, ukuqala ulwalamano kunye nawe, ugxininisa ukuba umntu owayeyintanda yakhe ngaphambili uya kuqhubeka ebalulekileyo ebomini bakhe, cinga, kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe?
• Umfana ufihla kuwe kwiintlanganiso ezinobungane kunye nabangaphambili. Ukuba unyanzelekile ukuba ambone emsebenzini, kwinkampani yabahlobo kunye nabanye, kwaye uyazi ngako, akukho nto ebangela ukuba uxhalabele. Kodwa ukuba ubambene nomntu kwiintlanganiso ezifihlakeleyo kunye nabokuqala, kubonakala ukuba udlala umdlalo ombini kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukwakha amabhuloho amadala.
• Le ndoda ibandakanyeke ngokubalulekileyo ebomini babantu basekuqaleni. Akakwazi ukunqabela uncedo lwakhe, kwaye ezi zikhwaza ze "sos" zangaphambili iimantombazana zibe zihlazo ezihlazo? Hlalani nilindile, mhlawumbi, ngaphambili akuhlose ukukunika othandekayo. Yaye ukuba akayikuyeka le miqobo, umnqweno uyabelana.
• Umfana akayikukuzisa ngokusingqongileyo. Ukuba umntu othandayo uyazama ukukufihla kubazali bakhe nabahlobo bakhe, kunokwenzeka ukuba akafuni ukuba izalamane zakho zikwazi ngolwalamano lwakho, kuba usenethemba lokubuyisela intombazana yangaphambili.

Kuthekani ukuba loo mntu akazange amlibale umthandi wangaphambili?

I-Tip 1. Yiba ngukumkanikazi. Musa ukuhla ukuya kwizihlazo ezihlazo zomonakalo onobukhwele kunye nokungcola. Musa ukuthatha indlela yokulwa ne "ghost" ye-intombi yakho yangaphambili. Le yinto yokulwa nemimoya yomoya, oya kulahleka ngokuqinisekileyo. Ukunyaniseka nayiphi na imizwa yeso sihlandlo. Kungenxa yenu indawo engenanto. Khangela iingxoxo ezinjalo kwiimeko eziqhelekileyo zobudlelwane bakho, kwaye ungabonakalisi ngetyhefu kunye neengxaki kunye nokusola. Icebo 2. Musa ukulungelelanisa ukuthotywa kwehlazo. Ukuba umntu akakwazi ukuvalela umnyango olwalamano oludlulileyo, kwaye ukumema ukuba uhlupheke, ulinde okanye umvumele ukuba abe ngumhlobo aze abone okokuqala, akavumelani. Ngoko ukhuthaza ukunyaniseka kwaye ube ilungu lenxantathu yothando. Intanda kufuneka ibeke phambili, kwaye icacise ngokucacileyo ukuba unaphi na kunye naye okanye nawe. Akukho nto efanelekileyo ekuqinisekiseni kwayo ixesha elide ayiyi kusebenza. I-Tip 3. Musa ukuzikhwele kwaye unetyala. Inyaniso yokuba umntu akakwazi ukugqiba isigqibo akuthethi ukuba ungeyimbi kunokuba wayedlulile okanye awufanelekanga. Ungazifanisi kunye nalo kwaye ungavumeli. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, uhlukile kwaye akufanele ube njengomnye umntu. Mthabathe umfana ngencoko ephosakeleyo uze undixelele indlela oziva ngayo xa eqhubeka edibanisa nentombi.

Icebiso 4. Hlola iimvakalelo. Ukuba iqabane lakho lifungela ukuba nguwe ngonaphakade, kwaye kwangaphambili maxa wecala, kodwa ngethuba ngamanye amaxesha ukhangeleka kwicala lakhe, bonisa ukuba ukhangele iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uqinisekise ukuba unenjongo yokunyaniseka. Ukusabalalisa ngexesha, ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle. Oku kuya kunceda umntu wakho afune ukuba ngubani ofuna ukuba naye. Ukuba akunjalo nawe, ngokufanelekileyo, ke akayena mntu wakho. Musa ukuchitha ixesha lakho elixabisekileyo kumnye umntu. Icebo 5. Ncedisa umthandayo ukuba akhohlwe okokuqala. Yonke into efunekayo kuwe kukuba uhlale uqobo, kwaye ungazami ukuba yikopi yakhe. Kwaye ukuba uthembele ngokuqinisekileyo ukulibala, kwaye uyabona, ncedise. Thatha ixesha lakhe ukuze angabi naso ixesha lokucinga kunye nokuva ubuhlungu. Gcwalisa ubomi bakhe ngemibala emitsha, iimvakalelo, uvuyo. Yakha umoya ojikelezayo. Indoda ingagcinwa kuphela kwimeko yolonwabo, okukuphela kokwazi ukuyidala. Icebo 6. Qiniseka. Ukuba zonke iingxoxo, iingxabano kunye nezicelo zihlala zingabonakali kwintombi yakho, kwaye ngokufihla okanye ngokuqinisekileyo ugcina ubudlelwane kunye nentombi yakhe yangaphambili, yenza ngokubanzi. Musa ukuzibandakanya kunxantathu, uyaqiniseka ukuba kungekudala uza kudlula kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba nawe ungcono. Myeke. Masikuthelekise ngoku nawe. Kwaye uhlala ujabule: zibandakanya ekuzikhuleni, zifunde ukuthanda nokuzihlonela. Kodwa kuphela kumntu ngaphandle kwakho, ungabonakali nantoni na. Vumela uvuyo kuthetha kuwe.