Oku akusoloko kunika iziphumo. Uphuhliso lwabantwana: uhlazo lwentloni, iqhinga eliyinhloko yinqaku lethu.
Kukho amawele kuwe!
Kukanina u-Katya e-dacha weza u-Vick noYulia. Amawele, kuphela umama onokuhlukanisa amantombazana omnye komnye. Kule meko, odade abaneminyaka emithandathu ubudala baninzi ngezindlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngokomzekelo, baziphatha ngokungafaniyo xa benza izenzo ezihlazo. Ndibeka ingqalelo kwinto yokuba neentloni, ukukwazi ukuba neentloni, azinjalo. Kukho abantu abanekratshi ngento eninzi abanye abantu ababa neentloni ngazo (zithi, amandla okuba). Kukho nabo abangenamahloni (ngokuqinisekileyo, baninzi "abanamahloni") .Ukwazi (okanye ukungakwazi) ukuba neentloni ngqo kuxhomekeke kwingcamango yomntu ngokwakhe: into ebizwa ngokuba yi "I-concept". Wonke umntu oneminyaka engaphezu kwe-3-4 unombono onjalo. Okokuqala, sicinga ukuba luhlobo luni lomntu olungileyo, ohloniphayo, kwaye olubi. "Ndiphelele." Okwesibini, sinombono ngathi: sinokulingana kangakanani na? "Ndiyinyani." Uninzi lwabantu lucinga ukuba luhambisana ngokupheleleyo neMpumelelo yoMntu. Yingakho bahlala kwihlabathi elizalanayo kunye nabo. Wonke umntu unengqondo yokwenza iintloni kuphela ngezenzo ezinjalo, ezingahambisani neengcinga zakhe ngaye. Abantu abadala abavame ukuyiqonda le nto. Baye banengcamango yabo yento okumele umntwana abe ngayo. Ngoko banentloni ngaye ngokungahambisani nalo mbono. Kodwa ngaba umntwana ngokwakhe?
Ukudumisa kuhlala kulungile?
Mhlawumbi abazali babantwana abaneminyaka engama-2-3 nangaphezulu baqaphela ukuba abantwana babo banqwenela izinto ezahlukeneyo kwaye bafuna abantu abadala ukuba baqonde ezi mpu melelo. Abantwana beMerit banokuqwalasela nantoni na.
Kutheni kubaluleke kakhulu kumntwana?
Umntu unesidingo esingazalwa ngokuzithemba. Oko kukuthi, sonke sifuna ukuziva siqinileyo, sinobuchule, sisilumko. Abantu abayinyani abahlonishwayo kwaye baxabiswa ngabanye. Nangona kunjalo, intsana ayayazi oko kuya kuhlonelwa yona, kwaye ayifuni. Ngaba oko kuhlonipha umntu? Ufunda ngalokhu kubantu abadala. Ngokuphathelele yena ngokwakhe, naye ufunda kubantu abadala. Ngoko abantwana bazama: ngaba baya kundidumisa ngenxa yale nto? Kwaye oko? Kwaye ukuba uyanconywa, kwaye rhoqo, imvana iqinisekile: oku kuziphatha kakuhle. Abantwana abaneminyaka engaphantsi kwe-3 kufuneka bahlale bedunyiswa: ukwandisa iziqu, ukuqinisa ukuzithemba. Kuphela ngendumiso yezinto ezifanayo kwiintsuku eziliqela umntwana ufumana ingcamango yokuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ilungile. Ngoko umntwana omncinci akasenayo icacile "I-ingcamango." Akukho nto ifuna ukuba ngumntu onyanisekileyo afanele afane kunye nento efana nayo. Le yembono ekufuneka yenziwe kuqala kuqala, kwaye yenziwa ngokuhambelana nendlela yethu yokuziphatha : indlela esiphatha ngayo umntwana, indlela esifuna ukuyibona ngayo, kutheni siyidumise, oko kungenjalo, ukuba sihlola njani izenzo okanye ukuziphatha kwabanye abantu., Indlela esiziphethe ngayo, ixabiso esinamathela kuyo. Kule meko, apho uya kuhlonishwa khona Ukuba umntwana uqinisekile ukuba abantwana abalungileyo bayahlala bephulaphule abazali babo, umntwana uyazama ukuthobela aze aziqhayise ngokuthobela kwakhe. Ukuba abantu abadala bayatsho umntwana ukuba abantwana abahlala behlamba izandla, umntwana uya kuqiniseka ukuba, Ukuhlamba izandla kukubalulekileyo komntu oyinyaniso. Ukuba iminyaka emininzi umntwana wayekholelwa ukuba abantwana abalungileyo bayamthobela uMama noTata, bahlambe izandla baze bangasula iindwangu zabo ngendwangu, uya kukholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kunjalo. Ngaloo ndlela, umntwana udala ingcamango yokuba umntwana ulungile ("Ndiphelele").
Ihlazo okanye ihlazo?
Ngoku sifuna ukukholisa umntwana ukuba yena ngokwakhe ulungile, ulungile. Uhlamba izandla zakhe, akaphangi iindwangu zetafile - ulungile. Oku kwenziwa kuphela: iimvuthu zihlala zithetha ngale nto. "Ulungile kum: uhlala uhlamba izandla!" "Ukuba oku akusoloko kunjalo njalo, kulungile: unakho ukulibala ngezinye iimpazamo ezidlulileyo kwaye ulungelelanisa imivumba yakho-ngenjongo yokufundisa, inyaniso." Kodwa abantwana abayikhumbuli iimpazamo zabo, ngoko umntwana uya kukuxabisa iimpumelelo zakhe Ngoko, yintoni umntwana esele eqinisekile?
1. Abantu abalungileyo bahlala behlamba izandla (badla i-semolina porridge, thobela, abagijimi endleleni): "Ndiyaphelele."
2. Ukuba nguye ngokwakhe (uhlamba izandla ngaso sonke isikhathi). Udla ngokudumisa ngenxa yoko, kwaye kunjalo, kuyimnandi kuye. Esi sisiseko sokuzihlonela kwakhe. Sekude "ndiyinyani." Ngoko ke "i-I-mbono" yabonakala, kwaye ngoku, nceda, kunokwenzeka ukuba uhlazide inkunzi, kodwa kuphela into ehlanganiswe "yakhe-mqondo." Xa eqinisekile ukuba nguye kanye, kwaye kule ukuzithemba kwakhe, ukuziva kwakhe, uya kuba neentloni ukuba unetyala lokuphulwa kwemigaqo yakhe yobomi ngokusisiseko. Emva kokuba imbono yakhe njengomntu ofanelekileyo - ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yokuba uhlala ehlamba izandla - sele sele , kungokwemvelo ukuba umntwana abe Ihlazo xa eziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunokuba ucinga ukuba kufanele ayenze, kodwa xa engabonakali, inkunzi iya kuba neentloni. "Uthobekile, engayiqondi into ekuthethwa ngayo." Le ntloni ingumntu ongenamava Unokuthabatha ihlazo, kodwa lo uvakalelo oluhluke ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko ungahlali uvuyo xa unamahloni, kwaye wayenentloni.
Qondani = uhambelane
Abantwana bancike kakhulu kubadala. Oku kungokwemvelo, kodwa akunakutsholwa ukuba kulungile. Yaye ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akuyi mpu melelo, ukuba umntwana, eyika ukuba uyatshutshiswa, uyakoyika ukwenza into (ebenokuyichaza ngayo). Ngaphezu koko: ukuba akayikwesaba (uya kuqiniseka ukuba abayi kubona, abayi kumbona), uya kuyenza ngokuqinisekileyo. Ngoko oku akusiyo imfundo. Ukuze wenze umntwana "aziphathe kakuhle," kufuneka uqale ufake ifoto ecacileyo kuye, okokuqala, malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini "ukuziphatha kakuhle," kwaye okwesibini, malunga nawe njengomntu ohambelana ngokupheleleyo nale migaqo . KWOKUQALA - kwaye uze uqale uhlazeke. Kwiintsana sele sele ineminyaka emi-2-3 kulula ukuyichaza, kutheni ukuhlamba izandla - kuhle, endaweni yokuhlamba - kubi. Ukuthobela okuyimfama akuwona umgangatho obhetele womntu, nokuba loo mntu uneminyaka engama-2-3 ubudala. Umntwana kufuneka aqonde ukuba kutheni kwenziwe into ethile, kodwa into engenakwenzeka. Ukuba akayiqondi, uya "kuziphatha ngokuchanekileyo" xa ebonakala ukuba adunyiswe, ngenxa yokuvunyelwa kwangaphandle kwabantu abadala, umntwana uyinto efanelekileyo, ngoko ufuna ukubona intsingiselo kwizenzo zakhe. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abazali bayabaluxabisa. Ngeshwa, akuqhelekanga ukuba uluhlu lweeNkcukacha eziMqoka zibandakanya iimpawu ezinjenge-altruism (ukungakhathaleli kwabanye), isibindi, isinyathelo, ukuzimela. Kukho ukuthobela apho (eqinisweni, umgangatho uyabuzwa , nangona abantwana babo abalungileyo bamele bakuthobele abantu abadala), ukulungela imana ye-porridge, ukungabi namagama ("Ukuthetha okunene, intloko yam isele isele!"), ukungabi namdla ("Hlala uhlale, ungagxumi: asikafiki!" ) Mhlawumbi abazali bangazibandakanyi ezi zinto zibalulekileyo eziluhlu lwezinto ezibonakalayo ezibonakalayo, njengezityalo zabo, ukuba zibe njalo, kodwa zenza njalo. Ziyakulungeleka xa umntwana ethobela, uthele. Nangona kunjalo, kungcono ukuba udwebe lo mfanekiso woMntwana oPheleleyo ngokuziqonda kakuhle, kuquka kuwo, ngaphandle kokuthobela kunye nezandla ezihlambulukileyo, into ebaluleke kakhulu.
Bonisa umzekelo
Ukongezelela, yiyiphi abazali abayayixabayo, apho bayidumisa umntwana, oko bacinga ukuba, ukuziphatha kwabafazi kunye nabantwana kuthonya abantwana. Emva koko, abazali bayimodeli engenakuphikiswa, umgangatho. Ukuba unina uvame ukukhalaza umntwana, umbethe, ungalindeli nto eyahlukileyo kuye. Ukuba neentloni ngalo mntwana ngenxa yokungabikho kokuthintela kuyamangalisa: kuye, le ndlela yokuziphatha yinto efanelekileyo, kuba le ndlela umama aziphatha ngayo. Ukuba ungenayo impawu, intsana ayiyi kwamkela kwaye ayikholelwa ukuba ezi ziimpawu ezilungileyo. Kungcono ukudumisa abantwana ukuze baqonde oko Umgangatho, uyaphawula: Ngokomzekelo: "Unobulumko kakhulu: uqiqa ngokukhawuleza malunga nento yonke!" Okanye: "Unesibindi: awusabi nantoni na!" Kwaye xa sineentloni ngabantwana, kungcono ukuthetha njengokhonkco ngokunokwenzeka ukuze uqiniseke: into ecacileyo kumntwana into esiyonwabileyo kwaye ungathatyathwa yile "ndlela yefuthe lokufundisa". Kakade, kunokwenzeka ukuba neentloni ngabantwana, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuyimfuneko. Kodwa kunqweneleka ukuba ungenzi njalo. Xa umama - umntu osondeleyo, othandekayo kunye nomntu obalulekileyo - uhlala engonwabanga umntwana, oku kunzima kuye. Ndiya kucinga ukuba xa uncoma umntwana wakho ngamaxesha angama-20 ukuya ku-30, unokuyihlazisa ngokukhawuleza. Ngokomyinge - malunga noko. Oku kufuneka kube ngumlinganiselo onqabileyo. Ukuba umntwana uhlala ehlazekile, uyayeka ukunyamekela zethu izihlazo. Yaye uyakholelwa ukuba into embi. Ukuba neentloni ngabantwana kuhlale kulungelele kule fomu: "Wena uyinkwenkwe enhle (intombazana): wenza njani oku kakubi?" Okokuqala - ukuqinisa ukuzithemba kwintsana enyanzelekileyo-kwaye yanyelisa ngenxa yecala elithile Ungabonisa iimvakalelo zakho kumntwana, kodwa zama ukukhalaza (kuba abantwana bayeka ukuthatha ithowuni evamile: ukuba bengakhange bakhankanywe, bacinga ukuba konke kulungile.) Zama ukungaqumbo kukubonakaliswa kobuthathaka. uyazihlonela, ukuba sele sele evakalelwa Uya kuba neentloni ngokuchasayo. Le nto yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba kufuneka ukwazi ukuphazamisa umntwana ngehlazo. Yiloo nto abazali abafanele bahlawule ngayo ingqalelo.