Uye watyelela, wazisa inkwenkwe encinane isipho. "Ndingathini na?" - uyayikhumbuza ngokucacileyo umama. "Ndiyabulela," uxolela unyana wakhe. Xa uthe le nto "igama lomlingo", wayebonakala ehlala kunye neendwendwe. Kubonakala engenakho isidingo sokubonga ngoku ngokumomotheka, ngovuyo. Umkhwa wobugwenxa unamandla, indlebe yentliziyo iyancipha ... Iimvavanyo ezilikhulu okanye eziliwaka - kwaye ezivela kwipropati yemvelo enqabileyo ayiyi kubakho mkhondo.
Kubonakala kum ukuba akuyena wonke umntwana onokukwazi ukufumana intlonipho, kunye nokuphuhlisa ukuva. Kuba imigaqo yokuziphatha iyalungiselelwa ukwenza umntu, umzekelo, ukubonisa ukubonga, nokuba akayi kuvakalelwa. Ukuqhelisa ngokukhawuleza unyana okanye intombi ukuvakalisa ngamazwi awayeke akwazi ukuwafumana, sinokuyigxotha le miva ngonaphakade ...
Ndiza kuthatha inkululeko yokubuza omnye into ebonakalayo engenakuphikiswa: ngaba kuyimfuneko ukufundisa abantwana ngokuzimela?
Akukho nto, mhlawumbi, ayisicaphukisi njengento ehloniphekileyo, kodwa engenasiphelo. Siyazi kakuhle: akukho nkcubeko yangaphandle esaneleyo, sidinga inkcubeko yangaphakathi.
Kodwa akubona wonke umntu uyaqonda ukuba ezi ntlobo ezimbini zenkcubeko, nangona zihlangene kwelinye igama, ziyizinto ezihluke ngokupheleleyo kwimvelo. Inkcubeko yangaphandle - isethi yemikhwa, izakhono zokuziphatha; Kwintliziyo yenkcubeko yangaphakathi yinkalo ethile yengqondo, efanayo nememori, ingqwalasela okanye indlebe yomculo. Ngaloo nto, ukukwazi ukukwazi ukuthetha, kubizwa ngokuba yi-hearty hearing.
Awudingi ukuba yingcali ukuqaphela: imikhwa (izakhono) kunye nobuchule buza kubantu ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Izakhono zifundiswa, ubuchule buphuhliswa. Umkhwa uhlanganiswa ne-automatism, amandla - kunye nesimo sengqondo esilungileyo ebomini. Yintoni eyiluncedo ekubunzeni imikhwa ihlala iwonakalisa ukuphuhliswa kwamakhono, kunye nangoko.
Uye watyelela, wazisa inkwenkwe encinane isipho. "Ndingathini na?" - uyayikhumbuza ngokucacileyo umama. "Ndiyabulela," uxolela unyana wakhe. Xa uthe le nto "igama lomlingo", wayebonakala ehlala kunye neendwendwe. Kubonakala engenakho isidingo sokubonga ngoku ngokumomotheka, ngovuyo. Umkhwa wobugwenxa unamandla, indlebe yentliziyo iyancipha ... Iimvavanyo ezilikhulu okanye eziliwaka - kwaye ezivela kwipropati yemvelo enqabileyo ayiyi kubakho mkhondo.
Kubonakala kum ukuba akuyena wonke umntwana onokukwazi ukufumana intlonipho, kunye nokuphuhlisa ukuva. Kuba imigaqo yokuziphatha iyalungiselelwa ukwenza umntu, umzekelo, ukubonisa ukubonga, nokuba akayi kuvakalelwa. Ukuqhelisa ngokukhawuleza unyana okanye intombi ukuvakalisa ngamazwi awayeke awenze, sinokuyigxotha le miva ngonaphakade.
Kutheni thina, umzekelo, sinyanzela umntwana ukuba athi "siyabonga"? Ndicinga ukuba, ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokuba, ukujonga kakuhle phambi kwabantu, ukubonisa ukuzaliswa kwonyana okanye intombi.
Imfundo yezobupolisa ifana nokukhulisana! Kodwa ndiqinisekile: ukunyuswa okwenyaniso kwenzekayo kwaye kwaye kuphela xa kufuneka sinike ngisho nehla lokuqina komoya. Nangona kunjalo, uya kuvuma: xa ufundisa imbeko, asiqhelekanga ukuphelisa imiphefumlo yethu, kodwa iimbilini zethu azifani. Unokufundisa ngokuziphatha ngaphandle kokuba nguyise okanye unina. Kwaye -nokuba ayithandi umntwana. Ukuba uHuck Finn wayehlala kunye nomhlolokazi uDouglas ixesha elincinane, ngokuqinisekileyo wayemenza inyana ehloniphekileyo!
Nokuba novelwano - umzekelo, uvelwano lomthengisi kumthengi - lunokunyuka kakhulu ngcoko, ukukhutshiswa kunye ne-premium. Ukuvalelwa kwentliziyo ayiphenduli kwiimpembelelo ezinjalo. Le ngongoma kungekhona ngelizwi, kodwa kwimeko. Ngoko ke, zonke iindlela eziqhelekileyo zemfundo-ukusuka ekukholiseni ukuya kwisijeziso-ziya kungafaneleka ukuphuhliswa kwale khono, kuba zibalwa ngokukodwa kwigama.
Unokuphuhlisa njani ukuvalelwa kumntwana wakho?
Lo msebenzi unzima kakhulu kunokuba ufunde amagama athi "mbulela" kwaye "nceda."
Umama ufunda inyana encinane yengcamango ebalulekileyo - "engenakwenzeka." Wathintela ukutshisa, ukukhala. Umama ufundisa: "Yabona, ibuhlungu! Mamela, xa umama athi" awukwazi. "Mhlawumbi kuya kuphazamisa." Kwaye-njalo-kwinqanaba ngalinye: "Awukwazi, wehla!", "Awukwazi ukuyiphula!", "Awukwazi, ubamba ubanda!", "Awukwazi, amazinyo aya kugula!" ...
Kodwa okwenyaniso "ayikwazi" akunjalo xa ulwaphuka, kodwa xa ubuhlungu omnye! Gxininisa kwelinye, iimvakalelo zenye - le yimeko yokuqala yokuphuhliswa kwentliziyo. Intsapho ilindile iTV, inkwenkwe idinga ukudlula kwesikrini - iya ku dada? Khawuleza? Ngoko, kunye nendodana yonke into ilungile: uvakalelwa kukuba kukho abanye abantu, uloyiko lokukhusela. Ukuba ihamba ngokuthula, ngokukhawuleza, ngoko ke indlu iyinkathazo yokuvuthwa kwaye lixesha lokuqokelela intetho yentsapho.
Kumntwana ufunde ukuva omnye, kuyimfuneko kwaye kuyo ukuqonda le nto. Umama wanquma ukwenza umsebenzi onzima: "Nika ... Thabatha ... Uncedo ..." Ufundisa ukuba uthande: "Ndidiniwe ... Ndibuhlungu unyoko ... Ndibonise indlela othanda ngayo unina ... Ngubani othanda kakhulu - umama okanye uTata? " Nguwuphi umzekelo awubona phambi kwakhe kwiintsuku zokuqala zobomi bakhe? Ngaphambi kwayo kukho umntu ohlala ekhona (ewe ophethe igunya ngumama!), Osoloko ekhononda, edinwa, ufuna uncedo, akakwazi ukuhamba kwaye athathe i-thimble, akayicingi into ehlazo ukuphatha izicelo ezincinci ngomzuzu. Ngoko, nam, ndingenza isikhalazo, kwenza kube nzima kwabanye, kwaye ukuba kuyabuhlungu, ndandivakalisa intlungu yam - vumela unina ahlupheke!
Ndicinga ukuba kwintsapho enjalo umntwana akanakuze aqonde: ukukhononda kulabo abathandayo abanangqiqo. Musa ukuphazamisa abantu nantoni na, ungabacaphukisi ngeengxaki zakho, yenza okusemandleni akho! Esi sifundo sifanele sifundiswe thina, abadala. Eyona nto, ukuba simbuza umntwana nantoni na, masithi kuye into enye, kodwa "lishumi" nceda ukuba abone ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukubuza, ukuphazamisa, kodwa ngenxa yokuba akanakulilahla isicelo. Ukuba senza inqaku kumntwana, sibonakala silungisa indlela yakhe yokuziphatha, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha siyayigxotha intliziyo yakhe.
Enye, ukuziva komnye! Phakathi kwamazwi kabawo "ndidiniwe" kwaye "Umama ukhathele" - umthombo wamanzi kwimfundo.
Kunzima kakhulu kubantwana ukuba bahlule imeko yomnye umntu, ukuba baninzi baqale bacinge ngesizathu sokuba abazali babo abayithandi. Sifunda malunga nale ntlungu emva kweminyaka emininzi ...
Ewe, indlebe yentliziyo iyakhohlisa okokuqala. Kwaye, mhlawumbi, kwaye angakhohlisi, mhlawumbi ngethuba elithile sasingamthandi umntwana? .. Siya kuba nomsindo xa sitsho ngale nto, kwaye waziva.
Kulula ukuba umntwana aqonde imeko yomnye umntu ukuba yena ngokwakhe ubangela le meko. Ungamkhathazi omnye - kwaye uzame ukumkholisa. Inkxalabo yokuqala yentsapho yintoni ngubani na esiza kuyinika?
Injinikazi indixelela kumabantwana bakhe abancinane:
- Ndizama ukufundisa ukuba banike. Baya kufunda indlela yokufunda ...
Kwaye, intombi yakhe eneminyaka emine iza kunye nonina ukutyelela kuphela ngesipho ezandleni zakhe: umama wakwazi ukwenza oko ukuze kuvuyiswe intombazana ukuba inikele, inikeze kwaye nandiphe uvuyo lomnye umntu.
Ngomxholo wethu oqhelekileyo, intliziyo yomntu ngokuyinhloko iyayiphendula intlungu yomntu. Abantu behlala bebuhlungu, kwaye ngolwimi lwahlala: "ukuxhalabatha," "uxolelane," "uvakalelo." Kodwa akukho "ulonwabo" kulwimi. Ngokuqhelekileyo ndifuna ukuva nokukhupha: "Ndiyonwabile kuwe", kunokuthi: "Ndiya kuba nomona."
Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba avuyiswe ngabanye, kwaye ujabule ngokungenabugovu, ungahambisani nelinye inhlanhla ngokuhluleka kwabo. Ukuba intombi ithi kukho umfundi obalaseleyo kwigumbi lokufundela, sisuka entliziyweni siya kuvuyela intombazana engaziwayo kwaye asiyi kukhawuleza ukuhlambalaza: "Uyabona? Nawe?" Ngemizekelo ngokubanzi, kufuneka uqaphele ngakumbi. Ukumisela umzekelo woontanga, asiyikuvuyela umnqweno wokumxelisa, kodwa umona.
Kwaye-akukho zihlazo, ukuba umntwana akangxamanga ukunika, anike, ukuba awaziyo ukuba angavuya njani ngomnye. Kuphela into efunekayo kuthi: ukuzinikela, ukuvuya kunye ... ukulinda. Lindela, ulinde ulinde inkolelo eyantyazela ukuba imini iya kuza xa umntwana eza kwenza isipho sakhe sokuqala komnye umntu (kwaye kungekhona nje kumama! Ngezinye iinkcukacha siza kunika umntwana amandla. Ukutya okunomsoco kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ukunika usuku ngalunye kwi-apula, kuba imfundo kungcono ukuzisa isikhwama seapulo kanye ngonyaka ...
Imfundo yentliziyo intloko ifuna ukuzola. Igumbini lokubilisa ibhola - yintoni ivalo?
Utata kunye nendodana yakhe yokuqala ukuya endlwini, uxwayisa: "Asinakubiza - umama uyagula." Siza kuvulwa umnyango ngundoqo. "
Isifundo esihle ...
Kodwa utata wayenalo ixesha lokugqiba indlela unyana wakhe agxininisa ngayo iqhosha leentsimbi. Kwaye ke:
"Ndixelele nabani na?" I-parasite!
Xa kwakukho intlungu eyaneleyo, akukho nto ingacingekanga.
Kodwa kumntwana ofundiswe kakuhle, isohlwayo sisimangalisa ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwizwi lomntu osekhulile, ikhwebu eliphakanyisiwe: "Yintoni ephosakeleyo nawe, othandekayo?" Ukuba abazali bafanele baqalekise, benze izimvo, bagxeke umntwana, ngoko ukukhuliselwa kuye kwathatha isikhokelo esiyingozi. Umntwana kufuneka ave ngokuva ngokusuka enhliziyweni intlungu yabadala. Nangona, nangona kunjalo, oku kuphazamiseka kubangelwa ngamazwi, ukuhlambalaza kunye nokuhlambalaza, i-rumor intliziyo ayimfuneko kwaye, ngenxa yoko, iyancipha. Ukuba namhlanje ndandingcikivayo unyana wam, kusasa ndiza kummangalela ixesha elide. Yonke imini uya kundiva konke okubi nakakhulu. Emva koko, emva kwesicwangciso esincinci se-pedagogical - "Musa ukuva, andiyiva? Owu, ndiyathetha bani na? - i-pedagogical enkulu iya kulandela ngokulandelelanayo: izibini ezibiniweyo, iibhande, ibhande-njalo njalo kude kube kwigumbi labantwana lamapolisa. Umntwana, onentliziyo yakhe evezwayo, iyona, kwimbono yam, ayinakukwazi ukufundisa. Kubalulekile ukuzisola ngutitshala oya kufumana umntwana onjalo.
Ngepiyano ekhungathekileyo, unako, ngokuqinisekileyo, unobumba. Kodwa akukho sixhobo esinye kwihlabathi siye savakala.
Kuyinto engathandekiyo ukubona inkwenkwe ehlala igweba kwaye ilahla abaculi, kwaye nangakumbi abantu abadala. Ukuba umntwana uthetha kakubi ngeendwendwe zethu, sihlala sizama ukukulungisa. Kodwa ngokuhlwa yonke intsapho ibukela iTV, ukutshintshwa kokutshintshwa, kwaye iqala: umdlali wezinto ezimbi, uphinda, kwaye ngokubanzi - engenamsebenzi. Isikolo sasekhaya sasekuhlaleni sokuqalekisa siqeqeshwe ebusuku. Ngokungaziqondi, siyavumela abantwana ukuba bagwebe baze baxoxe nabantu abadala ngaphandle kokuqonda kwaye bangenabubele. Emva koko siya kucela: "Musa ukugxeka utitshala! Utitshala uhlala ulungile!" Kutheni ungaqeshwanga, ukuba bonke abanye abantu abadala banokugxeka? Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukujika kukayise nonina kuza kufika phambi kokuba utitshala ..
Ungathandi ukutshintshwa - cima iTV phantsi kweyiphi na into embi. Ngaba asibizi izindwendwe zendlu ukuba zidibanise amathambo?
Fundisa abafana ukuba bathande abantu - baya kufunda ukuzigweba ngokwabo ...
Ukuphulaphula intliziyo ayikho imilinganiselo yokuziphatha, kodwa, makhe sibuyele, ubuchule beengqondo. Oku kulandela ukuba umntu onentliziyo ephuculweyo ukuva kungabikho okuhle nokubi. Ngamnye wethu uye wahlangana nabantu abanobuqili, abathi, ngenxa yobuthakathaka babo, kubangele ukuxhatshazwa kakhulu kubathandekayo babo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubuthathaka akuyena umhlobo weentliziyo, kwaye umntwana osuka enhliziyweni akahlali ehlawula umfana. Unokuba ngummangaleli: abafana bayamthanda, kuba uya kubacaphukisa kuphela, kwaye ukuba uyazama ukuhleka umntu, ngoko kuyamnandi. Umele azikhohlwe yena, njengabo bonke abantwana, angenza into encinane, kodwa ke uya kukhumbula ngokukhawuleza xa ebona ukuba uye waya kude kwaye iprose yakhe iye yalimaza umntu. Ngokuzithandela uthabatha umntu ngomnye, kwaye indima yakhe ebalulekileyo yinxaxheba yomlamli. Akunjalo kuba unamandla kunabo bonke, kodwa kuba uvakalelwa kukuba intlungu yomnye umntu ibukhali ngakumbi kunabanye. Akukho mntu ehlabathini othanda abantu abanentliziyo, kwaye nangona inkwenkwe enentliziyo encinci yindlebe ilula ukuyeka kwaye inika kalula, ngesizathu esithile ufumana eyona nto.
Ukumnika umntwana ngokuva ngokusuka enhliziyweni kuyona nto ibalulekileyo abazali abangayenza ngayo yonwabo.
Ngokubhekiselele kwimithetho yokwethembeka, xa umntu ekhula, yena, onikwe intliziyo evelele, uya kuziqonda ngokwakhe - ngokukhawuleza kwaye kulula, ngokulandela umzekelo wabadala.
Ukuva kakuhle kunye nokunyaniseka yiyona nto ipropati. Umsebenzi kuphela wokuqonda abantu awupheli. Ukuqonda abantu esibafundayo bonke ubomi bethu.
Kodwa ukuya kutsho kumzuzu wokugqibela umntu onokuvakala kwintliziyo ephucukileyo, nokuba yindlala, uya kuxhalabisa: iyancintisana noogqirha kunye nezihlobo, kubanika imizamo.
Kuba, mhlawumbi, iintliziyo zabantu zigula kakhulu kwaye zihlala ixesha elide. Ukuthatha ubomi entliziyweni, bahlala besondla ubomi bakhe.