Ubuncinane kangangoko kunathi. Kodwa iingcali zenzululwazi ziye zatshintsha ngenye indlela. Kungekudala, abantu be-American sociologists baye bafumanisa ukuba amadoda ahlupheke kwiingxaki ebomini babo bodwa kunabesifazane. U-Anna Barrett weYunivesithi yaseFlorida noRobin Simon waseYunivesithi yaseVuka Forest baxoxwa abantu abangaphezu kwewaka abantombazana kunye namantombazana kwaye bafumanisa ukuba xa isibini sithatha ixesha elilukhuni, amava amaninzi anesondo, nangona engabonakali esidlangalaleni. Ukongezelela, basabela ngokugqithiseleyo kwiintlobo zobudlelwano bobuhlobo. Uthando olulandanayo lubangela imvakalelo enomdla kwaye luphucule kakhulu impilo yengqondo. Enyanisweni, uphando aluphelelanga ngokupheleleyo. Iingcali zenzululwazi ziqwalasele iingxelo zee-bachelors kuphela, kwaye xa kuqhutywe uphando phakathi kwabatshatileyo, ukungafani okubuhlungu kumava nakwabasetyhini abazange bajonge. Kodwa ke ukufumanisa kubonakala kukukholelwa. Kwaye, kubonakala ngathi sinesizathu sokukholelwa kwiimanani. Akunakuphikisana nomthandane wakho kwaye uholele uthando loxolo?
Ncokola
Abaphandi baseMerika bacebise: isizathu esona sizathu sokushiya abantu emva kokuphuka kukuba iqabane eliza kuphuma ngokukhawuleza liba ngumntu kuphela othetha naye ngokukhawuleza. Oko kukuthi, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ulwalamano lwakhe nonina nomhlobo wakhe lungakanani, vula ngokugcwele umphefumlo, unako kuphela. Kwaye wena, ngokungafani naye, usondele kwaye unganyaniseki kunye nabahlobo, abazali kunye nodokotela wamazinyo. "Kulula ukuba umfazi akwanelise umnxibelelwano oluyimfihlo. Amadoda amaninzi akwazi ukukwenza ngokubunzima - axinzelelwe ukwesaba ulwalamano, kwaye ukuvuleka kuqondwa ngephutha njengobuthathaka, "kuchaza i-psychologist u-Alexander Kuznetsov. Ukuba ungathethekiyo kwaye unyanisekile kwaye ngelo xesha, ungaziva ngathi izigulane zethu abathandekayo banokuthi kuphela kuthi, kuba thina ngabo, ngokubhekisele kubo, bathetha ngesondo esibuthathaka. Kwaye ngokuzibandakanya kwamadoda akuthethi ukuthetha okude kunye nokuvuma okukrakra. Bayafuna inkxaso eninzi, abathembekileyo kunye nokuqonda kakuhle.
Xa zonke izinto ziphela
Kuhlolisiso lwezentlalo-ntsapho, kukho inkcazelo encinci, kodwa ebalulekileyo - amadoda anakho ukufumana ukungquzulana kunye neengxabano kwisibini esithile, ngelixa zixhomekeke ngakumbi. Kodwa, ngokubhekiselele kumhlalutyi womthengisi u-Elena Lazarenko, ukwahlukana kunikezelwa kubo ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kuba ngokuqhelekileyo abakwazi ukuqwalasela ukuba luphi uxabiso lwengqondo olubuhlobo. "Ukujonga ngamava am, amadoda ahlala esondela kubasetyhini ngoncedo lwangokwengqondo xa umtshato usuphelile. Ngaphandle koko, basenokuba nzima ukutyelela ingqondo yengqondo kwilizwe lethu, "esho. Ngokutsho komgqirha, oku kubangelwa ukuba abantu bahlale bekholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo: ubudlelwane buyadingeka, okokuqala, iqabane, kwaye ngoko, kufuneka linyamekele. Kodwa xa kukho ukwahlukana, kubo kuyothuswa kukuba uncedo lokungabi nalutho, abaqala ukulufumana. Abasetyhini, ngokuchaseneyo, bayazi kakuhle ukubaluleka kobudlelwane baze baxoxise. "Abantu bahlala beza kum ngovumo olunjalo:" Ndandilwa kwiindawo ezishisayo, ndihamba ngehlabathi lonke. Ndineenkampani eziphumelelayo. Akukho nto kwaye akukho mntu uyamoyikayo. Kodwa wayengenakucinga ukuba ngaphandle kwakhe kwakuza kuqala. Ndixelele, yintoni ephosakeleyo kum? Ndacinga ukuba sizahlukana kwaye yonke into iya kuphela. Kwaye ngoku andinakulala ngaphandle kwayo, andinakuyidla! "- u-Elena Lazarenko. - Oko kukuthi, umntu ongaziqondi kwaye akayizi iimfuno zakhe ezingokomzwelo, ekugqibeleni uya kuxhomekeka kubuhlobo apho ezi zidingo ziyaneliseka khona. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzekayo ngama-donzhuans, abasetyhini abaguqukayo rhoqo, abangavumeli nabani na olwalamano lwangomntu kwaye bayayiphika imfuneko yalo. "
Iinyembezi
Siyakwazi ukukhala ngokukhawuleza. Kwanesidlangalaleni. Kwaye iyakususa ngokupheleleyo uxinzelelo. Amadoda alondoloza ulwazi kubo. "Ngamanye amaxesha ndiba nomona wam intombi. Uya kuphula iipiliti ezimbalwa eludongeni, umlenze kwaye ulungele ukubeka, - uVeveni uyavuma (27). - Kwaye andinakuyilahla izitya okanye iifenitshala eziphazamisayo, kuba ndiyomelele, izenzo ezinjalo ziya kubonakala ngathi zixhatshazo. Uyesaba nje. Mhlawumbi, kutheni ndihlala ndifuna, ixesha elingakumbi kunam intombi, ukuba ndibuyiselwe kwimpikiswano elandelayo. " Omnye uya kuzama ukunciphisa ukukhathazeka ngokomzwelo kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, enye-inxweme yotywala, kunye nesithathu iya kugxininisa kwiTV kwaye iya kulinda ukuba idlule yodwa. Abafana basuka ebuntwaneni baxelelwa: bangaze balile, ungumntu ozayo. Ukubonisa ububele, ukwesaba, ukudabuka, ukukhuselekiswa kwabaninzi kubo akunakwenzeka. Kwaye ngoko iimvakalelo ezinzima ukuzityhila, amadoda, ngokuqhelekileyo zithatha indawo eyaziwayo kunye ekhuselekileyo-umsindo okanye ukugonywa. Kodwa kaninzi ababonisi amava abo ngokuvulekileyo baze bashiye iimvakalelo ezinqamle ngaphakathi ngaphakathi. Oku kungoku kubangela ukuba izifo zengqondo, ukudandatheka, ukuhlaselwa ngumsindo.
Eyona nto ibhetele
"Sasihlala siphikisana nomfazi wam wokuqala. Izizathu zazikho yonke imihla: ngubani oya kusasa ukuhamba nenja, owaphula i-kettle kagesi kunye nokokukhetha enye entsha, wenzeni ngeveki? Iimbono zethu zihluke ngokwenene kuzo zonke izinto, - u-Anton (32) uthi. Ekuqaleni ndacinga: konke ngenxa yokuba sincinci kakhulu. Kodwa kamva ndaqonda ukuba ndabulawa ngokuqinisekileyo kukuba ndingekho igunya lakhe. Ngona i teapot. " Iimbambano kwiibini zichaphazela kakhulu ukuzithemba kwindoda. Ngokuqinisekileyo, asinakuxhamla ukuba asiphulaphuli ngoluvo lwethu okanye (lukhulu kakhulu!) Ukuthelekiswa nabanye. Kodwa kumntu othandekayo, iingxabano kunye neengxabano kuthetha ukuhluleka kwakhe ngokupheleleyo kumgangatho wothando. Kwaye ukusinda ukuhluleka komntu owayezicingela ukuba uwunqobile akulula. Kwindoda, ukungaphumeleli kwishishini elinentsingiselo kuye kunzima kakhulu ukuzithemba kunokuba ngumfazi. Iingcamango "zokunqoba" kunye "nokutshatyalaliswa" zinemibala engaphezulu. Yingakho amadoda aphuka ngakumbi ngokukhawuleza nangaphezulu. Kubonakala ukuba isondo esinamandla kunamandla kunathi kuyo yonke into, kuquka iimvakalelo. Kulo kuphela abayi kuze bavume.