Ulwalamano lwentsapho kunye nezindlela zokuwunqoba - isihloko esichaphazelekayo kwixesha lethu, xa izithethe zentsapho zihlaziywa, zihlaziywa kwakhona, iziko lentsapho liguqula ngokoqobo phambi kwamehlo ethu.
Kutheni kubakho ukungqubuzana kwintsapho ebonakalayo enobubele, nothando? Kukho izizathu ezininzi. Umzekelo:
• Omnye wabatshatileyo abanakucamngca (isisa, uthando)
Iimeko ezinzima zezindlu zithinta xa kubalulekile ukwahlula indlu kunye nabazali bomlingane okanye iqabane
• Abalingani banemibono eyahlukileyo kwimicimbi efana nokuzonwabisa, ukwahlula umsebenzi wasekhaya, ukukhuliswa kwabantwana
• Omnye okanye bobabini abatshatileyo banelisekile ngokwaneleyo kwiintlobano zesini
Uluhlu lwezizathu lunokude. Nangona kunjalo, akusona izizathu zokuvela kweengxabano zentsapho ezibaluleke ngakumbi, kodwa iindlela zokuzinqoba. Iingcali zengqondo zinika iingcebiso ezininzi malunga nokwakha ubudlelwane kwaye zingavumeli ukuxabana komncinci kwintsapho kukhule ibe yinto ebalulekileyo.
Xoxa ngxaki enye kuphela.
Masithi kukho imbambano ngenxa yokuba umyeni wakho uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabahlobo bakhe, kungekhona nawe. Kwimeko apho, xubusha naye kuphela le ngxaki. Ungazami ukukhumbula ezinye izono zeqabane. Oku akusebenzi ngqo ngqo kwimpikiswano yakho yangoku. Ezinye iingxaki onokuxoxa ngazo kamva. Okokuqala, fi ke kwisivumelwano malunga nombandela oyintloko.
Musa ukuya kumntu.
Ukuba umvuzo womlingane wakho uyeke ukuhambelana nawe, ke akunakwenzeka ukuba ubunzima bakhe bebhiya bube yeso sizathu. Musa ukugculela iqabane lakho, alikho ekukhombiseni ingxabano. Ngokuphambene noko, kwimeko enjalo iqabane lakho liya kuzama ukuzikhusela kwaye lizakuqala ukunihlambalaza. Ngenxa yoko, ukungquzulwano kuya kubangela ukuhlambalaza kakubi ngokuhlambalaza. Yaye ingxaki enkulu iya kuhlala ingagqitywanga.
Musa ukuvumela abantu abathathu ukuba bangqubuzana nentsapho.
Musa ukuphazamisa kwimpikiswano yakho, umntu ovela kwiintsapho okanye ngabahlobo. Ukuba ekuxabaneni uzama ukulimaza umntu osapho lwakho okanye abahlobo, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kumela ukukhusela kwabo. Ngoko ke, inqaku elithi "Kakade, andinakupheka njengomama wakho oyigugu" ayiyi kubakhokelela kwisiphumo esihle sokuxabana.
Musa ukuzalisa.
Masithi umyeni wakho onomdla ngokusoloko uyalibala ngokuzalwa kwakhe ngumkhwekazi oyintanda. Musa ukuhlambalaza ilizwi: "Awuze ukhumbule nantoni na." Kuya kuba necala, ngakumbi ukuba ihlala ikukhumbuza yonke imihla ebalulekileyo. Isizathu sokulibala kwakhe okungalindelekanga, kuba ngumzekelo, umthwalo onzima emsebenzini.
Musa ukuxabana ngokuhlwa.
Izibalo zibonisa ukuba isabelo seengonyama seengxabano zentsapho siwela ngexesha langokuhlwa. Akumangalisi: ukukhathala, ukucaphukisa ukuqokelela, enye inkunkuma iyanele ukwenza imbambano. Ukuba uziva ubusuku bushushu ukuba ufuna ukuxelela umlingane wakho izikhalazo ezimbalwa, ke ulungele ukuzigcina, ucime ingxoxo kusasa. Mhlawumbi kusasa ingxaki iya kubonakala ingabi nzulu, okanye uza kufumana indlela efanelekileyo yokunqoba impi.
Yazi indlela yokuvuma ityala lakho.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukwazi ukuqonda ngexesha ekungenakulungile kwimpikiswano. Ukuba awunayo amandla okwaneleyo ukuvuma ngokukhawuleza ukuba uyiphutha, koko ubuncinane uzame ukuyeka ukuxabana okungenani ngexesha. Oku kunzima ukwenza, ngamanye amaxesha kunokwanele ukuvala okanye ukuya kwelinye igumbi.
Kwaye enye ingcebiso. Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuxabana nomlingane wakho, cingisisa ngawo, kodwa yintoni na ofuna ukuyifumana? Kukho abantu abahlukileyo abazi ukuba basebenzise nayiphi na iimbambano zokusombulula iimeko zabo. Kukho nawuphi na umquzulwano, kukho zombini amacandelwana kunye namacandelo amnandi. Emva kokuxabana, abantu abanothando banokufika ngombono oqhelekileyo kwiingxaki ezixhamlayo, kwixesha elizayo le nto ayiyi kubaphazamisa.
Cinga, uya kuphila ngokuthula emva kokuxabana? Emva koko uzibambe, ungalahleli zonke izikhalazo zakho kunye nokuhlambalaza, ungayithuki, ungenzi kakubi isidima somlingane wakho. Gxila ekuxazululeni ingxaki ethile. Hlalani nizolile kwaye nizijonga kakuhle. Ukwenza oku, kunjalo, kunzima xa umphefumlo uphazamise umsindo. Kodwa uneemeko ezifanayo xa usinqobile ngxabano, kwaye ukhunjulwa ngayo ngokumomotheka kwaye wacinga: "Unokwenza njani ukuxabana ngenxa yobu budenge kangaka!". Mhlawumbi le mpikiswano ayifanelekanga loo mvakalelo?
Ksenia Ivanova , ngakumbi kwisiza