Konke malunga nobudlelwane bokuqala, kunye nendlela yokuhlangabezana nayo?

Uninzi lwethu alukwazi ukudibanisa ngokuqinileyo nento yokuba ngaphambi kokudibana nathi nomntu othandekayo wayenobomi. Wayenokuvuyisa njani abanye, kwezinye iingalo zabantu? Le mibuzo malunga nexesha elidlulileyo liyamangalisa, liphazamisa, liphazamise ukuhlala kulo. Ungabakhupha njani? Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, abathandi bahlala kwiingcamango, njengokungathi bangabantu bokuqala emhlabeni, benziwa ngomlingo omnye komnye. Njengokuba akukho dlulileyo kwaye abanako. Kodwa ubudlelwane buphuhliswa. Kancinci siqala ukubuza ukuba yintoni kwaye kwenzeka ntoni ebomini "kwisiqingatha" sethu ngaphambi kokuba sihlangane. Sibuza imibuzo, fumana iinkcukacha. Kwaye siyaqhubeka sifaka, nangona iimpendulo zisenza sihlupheke. Ukufuna ukwazi ngokugqithisileyo kwesinye, intlungu ngenxa yamabali athile adlulileyo - into efihliweyo emva kwabo? Kule nqaku yonke into ichazwa malunga nobudlelwane bokuqala, nendlela yokujongana nayo.

Ukukhangela iimpawu zokumakisha

"Andikwazi ukuyeka: Ndiphinda ndibuze uAndrew malunga nobomi bakhe bokuqala. Ndifuna ukwazi yonke into ngaye! "Uyamkela u-Inga oneminyaka engama-34 ubudala, owatshatileyo iminyaka emithathu edlulileyo. Imibuzo malunga nexesha elidlulileyo lichazwe ngokukodwa ngumnqweno wemvelo wokumazi umntu ongcono - ukuba usondele ngakumbi ekuqondeni oko ngokwenene. Ndivuyiswe ngethuba lokuxabisa umlingane, kuquka ukungafani kwakhe. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba siqonde oko akufumene, oko wakwenzayo, indlela awayekhokela ngayo, ukukhetha abalingani bakhe bokuqala, kwaye ziziphi izizathu ezazityhula. Konke oku, kubonakala ngathi kunceda ukuvavanya ukuba sinokulingana kangakanani. Qinisekisa ukuba sibini sibini esilungileyo ... okanye sibe namandla ngakumbi ngokungathandabuzekiyo. Kodwa xa umdla kumntu omthandayo unomdla kakhulu, xa kunzima ukujamelana nekhono lakho, oko kunokuthetha ukuba: kwixesha elidlulileyo ukhangele into enokusenza sibe neentembelo ngakumbi. Ukuvakalelwa ngothando kuthatha ukuxhalabisa, ngoko siyazijonga ngokungafani uhlobo oluthile lomhlaba, olufuneka luhlolwe. Yaye indima yakhe kuthile kuthile idlalwe lixesha elidlulileyo. Kubonakala ngathi, ukuba ufumanisa indlela ayephila ngayo ngaphambili, fundela ukuba ngubani na owamthanda, ngoko uyaqonda ukuba uya kuhlala njani kwaye uya kuthanda ngomso. Kodwa le ngcamango yinto yethu yokumangalisa, kuba uthando olutsha alufani noluntu oludala. Phakathi kwabathandwayo kukho impendulo ekhethekileyo ye-alchemical reaction, phezu kwazo ezingenamandla, kunye nexesha elidlulileyo, i-alas, ayikwazi ukuthetha nantoni na malunga nekhoyo okanye ikusasa.

Umqondiso wokungaqiniseki

"Emva kokufunda esikolweni, ndasebenza iminyaka emibini kwintrakthi ngaphandle. Kwada kwangoku, kuyafaneleka ukuthetha oku, umyeni wam uya kububula ngokuxhalabisa. Sitshatile iminyaka engama-20, kodwa ubonakala ebenomona kum ngexesha elidlulileyo, ngeli xesha ndihlala ngaphandle kwakhe, "utsho u-Alexandra oneminyaka engu-52 ubudala. Kwabanye, njengendoda ka-Alexandra, kubalulekile ukuba ngumntu onothando lwakhe. Kwaye kunzima ukuqaphela ukuba umntu othandayo unako ukuzibhokoxa ngokwakhe, kunye nokunciphisa isigwebo sokuba yena, njengexesha lakhe elidlulileyo, kufuneka abe ngumlingani ngokupheleleyo. Ndicinga ukuba ukuphendula okunjalo kukuba, okokuqala, uphawu lokungakhuselekanga ubudlelwane. UMaria wayenelisekisa umyeni wakhe ukucaphukisa: umona wexesha lakhe elidlulileyo.

Xa kungcono ukuthula ngoxolo

Ngaba kuhlale kunelungelo lokwanelisa umnqweno weqabane? Kukho imeko xa kulunge ukuphepha impendulo.

• Asihambisani ngokupheleleyo nomnye umntu kwaye sinelungelo lokufumana indawo ekhoyo. Ukuhlukana kuyingxenye yethu yokukhangisa kwenye. Xa into efihliweyo, kukho umqondo wemfihlakalo, umnqweno wokuwuqhawula. Yaye xa yonke into ivulekile kwaye ifumaneke, imfihlakalo iyanyamalala.

• Ukuba iqabane libuza nathi ngokukhawuleza, ngamanye amaxesha kunomnqweno wesimo sokuvala, kungekhona ukuphendula. Kule meko, kunengqiqo ukucacisa oko kanye ufuna ukukwazi nokuba kutheni. Mhlawumbi sobabini siya kuba luncedo kakhulu ukuthetha ngobudlelwane bethu okwangoku kunokuba siphucule kwixesha elidlulileyo.

• Ungaphenduli imibuzo malunga nobomi bethu, ukuba impendulo iyasikhathaza: umzekelo, iqabane lingaphenduli kakuhle kubahlobo okanye izihlobo zethu, liyalahla izenzo zethu. Ngokuvumela umntu ukuba ahlaziye ixesha elidlulileyo, silahlekelwa ngabanye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba ibali lethu libuhlungu umlingane - umzekelo, ubonakala ebi kakhulu kunomntu ovela kwixesha elidlulileyo-esi sizathu sokuba sihlale sithule. Ukuba sisachukumisa isihloko esibuhlungu kumntu osondeleyo, kubalulekile ukugxininisa (ngamagama okanye ukuthintela) kuthande kangakanani kuthi.

Ububele buyadingeka

Amanye amabhinqa aphikisana nokuba neqabane lawo elitsha lidibana nabantwana kumtshato ongaphambili. Amanye amadoda afuna ukuba iqabane lawo litshise onke amabhuloho adibanisa naye nentsapho yakudala. Ngokwenza njalo, bazama ukuqinisa intsapho yabo ... kodwa basengozini yokuza kwimeko echaseneyo. Iimfuno zabo ziwonakalisa, kuba ikhefu kunye nexesha labo elidlulileyo lihlala liphakamisa uxinzelelo lwangaphakathi olomeleleyo olungakhokelela ekudakaleni. "Ndicinga ukuba andinakuyithandana nomntu othetha kakubi ngobomi bakhe obudlulileyo," ucinga ngo-Regina oneminyaka engama-45 ubudala, oye wahlala neqabane elitsha kwiminyaka emibini edlulileyo. "Nangona, ukunyaniseka, ngamanye amaxesha kunenza ndibe nzima ukuphulaphula indlela intetho yam intanda ngayo ngezinye iimeko ezimnandi - umzekelo, malunga nendlela azinxulumene ngayo nabantwana. Ngokukodwa ekubeni singenabantwana. " Ewe, ukuba umnqweno akafuni ukwazi nantoni na ngexesha elidlulileyo, ngoko ulwalamano oluvuthiweyo kubini, ngokuchaseneyo, lusekelwe ekuwamkelekeni nasekuthotyeni kwalo. Ukuze ulondoloze uthando lwakho, ngaphandle kobubele nokunyamezela akukwazi ukwenza.

Ukuhamba kwememori

Iqabane lam lisebenza kwinkampani yecateral, yajikeleza lonke elaseYurophu, kodwa ngexesha elidibeneyo, umsebenzi wakhe wawusaphumelelanga, "utsho uVerkaka, oneminyaka engama-40 ubudala, eneminyaka elishumi yobomi bentsapho emva kwakhe. - Ngoku ke, kufuneka siqhelane nabanye abantu abatsha, njengoko eqala ukuthetha ngaphandle kokuyeka malunga nokuba wayevuyile njani. Njengokuba ubomi bethu banamhlanje bungenanto kwaye bungaxhamli! "Omnye akafanele alahlekelwe yinto yokuba umona udlala emibini. Ukuba iqabane libuyela kwixesha lakhe elidlulileyo lonke ixesha, igxininisekisa ukuba yonke into ibhetele ngaphambili, ukuphendulwa kwemvelo komnye kukuhlambalaza okungekho nhlobo okuthetha ngayo ngobubele bakhe. Ekugqibeleni, ukuba umntu ohlala nathi usoloko ecacisa ukuba sele ebone yonke into kwaye uye wafumana yonke into phambi kwethu, iyakucasula nje. Iqhayiya ivela phi? Xa kukho inkathazo ebubudlelwaneni, abanye baqala ukujonga emva, bebubula ngobomi babo bokuqala, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bayayifaka. Ngenxa yokuziphatha okunjalo, ukuhlambalaza ngokungqalileyo kumlingane kunokufihla: umntu ucinga malunga nokuba ubudlelwane babo bubulungele. Ngaphandle koko, kutheni iinkumbulo ziqala ukuzalisa ubomi bakhe bonke ngokukhawuleza? "Xa sithelekisa elidlulileyo kunye neli xesha, ikhoyo ngoku iphela ilahleka - kuba ixesha elidlulileyo kulula ukucinga, sinalo sikhululekile ukwenza nantoni na. Yaye ikhoyo ijongene nathi imihla ngemihla entsha.

Amanxeba adlulileyo

Ngokuqhelekileyo, xa sinobukhwele, intombazana okanye inkwenkwe ivuselela ngathi, njengathi sasikhona. Bahlala behlala ngaphakathi kwethu kwaye balinde kuphela isizathu sokuzibonakalisa. Ngaphandle kokuqonda, abanye bethu bathanda ukunyamekela amanxeba endala: abantu abanjalo bafumana ubuncwane bokuzibambela xa umntwana ephikisanayo, umbuzo ongunaphakade: "Ngubani owenza umama nobaba bathande kakhulu?" Umntu onjalo ukususela ebuntwaneni ubonwa njengento engathandekiyo kukuba uhlala esaba ukuba akayi kuthandwa , kwaye uyaqiniseka ukuba iqabane lakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzekani, uya kuhlala ekhetha ukuphila kwakhe kwangaphambili. Kodwa ngokuzithoba okunjalo, akukho mlingane onokumnika ukuzithemba ngokwaneleyo. Ukusebenza kuphela kuwe kuya kunceda ukujamelana nokuxhalabisa ngokufihliweyo.

Intlawulo ye-Erotic

"Andikwazi ukunceda! Sitshatile iminyaka eyisibhozo, kodwa nangokunje, ndenzekile ukuba ndivuke umyeni wam ukuba abuze indlela ayenayo ngayo nabanye, "uvuma u-Arina oneminyaka engama-34 ubudala. Abantu abaninzi banomdla, becinga umlingane nomnye umntu. Ukubuza malunga neenkcukacha, sifaka umlingane kwiimbubulo ezinobungozi, ezikuzo zinobuchule obukhulu besondo: yena (yena) ufumana kwakhona umnqweno wakhe aze asithumele. Nangona sinobukhwele - kwaye oku kudla njalo, - kukungabonakali kwamava, apho kukho umncintiswano, ukhuphiswano kunye nokukhangwa komzimba kudibaniswa, lunikeza ubudlelwane.

Qonda uphinde uphinde ucinge

U-Albst oneminyaka engu-36 ubudala uthi: "Umyeni wase-Albina wangaphambili wayengumntu ohluphekileyo. "Siye kunye naye iminyaka emithandathu, kwaye yonke eli xesha ndimkhwele yena - kungekhona kuye, kodwa kwizinto eziphathekayo ezinokuzibonela zona. Wathuthela kum ngeempahla ezingabalulekanga. Kwiplani nganye, ngokungathi sele ibeka ingcikivo kum. Ndakuqonda oku kamva, kwaye ngokuncinci ngancinci lawa macwecwe aphuma ezandleni zam, kwada kwasala enye into enkonzweni! Ndiyabulela uThixo, sasinomdla wokuhleka phezu koku nje ukuhleka. " Ukuzihlaziya ngenye yezinto ezichasayo kakhulu ezivela kumona oqondakalayo kwixesha elidlulileyo. Uhlala ecela ukukhangela kwakhona kwimeko ngaphandle kokubandlulula. Kubonakala ngathi kule meko "izinto ezingenasiphelo" zenziwa njengomnikelo wokunciphisa umnikelo: UConstantine wayedlulisela iimvakalelo zakhe kuye - kwaye wakhululwa kubo kunye namacwecwe. Emva kokufumanisa olu lwalamano, isi sibini sasihleka kunye: izihlandlo ezinjalo zokuqonda ngokusemthethweni yindlela eninzi yokwamkela umntu odlulileyo.