"Ndifuna ukutshata!" - amantombazana eneminyaka engama-20 aphupha. "Ixesha eliphakamileyo lokutshata!" - xhalabisa u-mademoiselle oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala. "Ukutshata ngokukhawuleza!" - ukukhawuleza abasetyhini abaneminyaka engama-40. "Batshatile ..." - badla ngokukhawuleza abafazi be-50-60 ubudala. Umnqweno ongathandabuzekiyo wabasetyhini wokuba unaphakade unamathele kumanyano kaHymen ufanelekileyo nanini na. Kodwa ukuba abadlali abancinci baphupha amaphupho othandanayo omtshato, abafazi abavuthiweyo baqhutywe ngumbalo wokuzimela (iwashi yezinto eziphilayo) kunye nokuqonda kwabesifazane (Ndingumfazi). Namhlanje, abasetyhini abaneminyaka engatshatanga kuthiwa banelisekile, kwaye emashumi ambalwa eminyaka edlulileyo abantu ngokuqinisekileyo baya kufaka isigqubuthelo sokuthuka: "Umdala Omdala!"
Ikhulu liye latshintsha - liye lakhululeka kakhulu, ukuziphatha kuye kwatshintsha - baye bakhululeka ngokukhululekile, kodwa abafazi bayaqhubeka bevakala i-alamu ukuba ingcambu yabo ingabonakali kwiminwe yabo ngexesha. Kutheni "zonke iintombi zintombi", nangona zingabonakali kakuhle, azifani ngokukhethekileyo kwaye zingabonakali ngobulumko? Lo mbuzo uphendulwa zizigidi "zamantombazana asekude" ezifuna izizathu, ngokwabantu, okanye kwintlepho kunye nelihlo elibi. Ukugxotha ukuphazamiseka okungenangqiqo, ubandlululo kunye nezinkolelo zibizwa ngokuba ngabafundi bezengqondo abaye bafunda intlalontle "isithsaba se-hilacy". Batshengisa ukuhlaziya iindlela zokuziphatha zabasetyhini, abantu abangababizi kwiofisi ye-registrar, kwaye bafumene ukuba kutheni bazama ukutshata bodwa, kwaye abanye abaza kuthatyathwa kubafazi abasemthethweni?
AmaRoma "amakhosikazi"
Le ntombazana, ikhutshwe kwiingoma zamakhwenkwe, kwaye emva kweefilimu zothando zincwadi zothando kunye neengqungquthela zabasetyhini, ngokuqhelekileyo ziba ngumkhombandlela kumzekelo "onamandla" wobudlelwane. Ulindele isikhulu, oya kumlandela ngehashe elimhlophe, iMercedes okanye indiza aze amthabise kwiBukumkani obukude. Iminyaka ihamba phambili, inkosana idlula kwi-labyrinths yobomi, kwaye i-princess iyaqhubeka nokwakha iinqaba ezingenakulinganiswa, ezilondolozwe ngesandla sayo-"i-dragons" eziphathekayo ngesandla, izibilini, ukuphucula ukuzinyameka nokuzikhuphaza kunye nezicelo ezikhuphayo kubafake izicelo kwisandla nangentliziyo. I-crux yenkinga: Inkosikazi inesiqinisekiso sokuba ukuba kukho umfazi ococekileyo (oko kukuthi, yena), ngoko ke kukho ndawo indoda enhle kuyo yonke into. Uzama ukufana nomthetheli wokuphila kwakhe, ephosakeleyo ekukholelwa ukuba uphelele ngokugqithiseleyo, xa esenokuba nethuba lokuthengisa iimakethe zothando. Nangona kunjalo, ukwandisa "intengo" yayo, loo mfazi uguqulela "into" ekhethekileyo kwaye ebiza "kuphela" esincinci esincinci "abathengi" abanakho ukufumana.
Isixazululo sale meko: Kakade, musa ukukhawuleza ukugqithisa kunye nokunciphisa ibha ukuba "njengabasetyhini abaqhelekileyo." Kodwa iinkolelo kufuneka ziphinde ziphinde ziqale ukusebenza. Okokuqala, thatha inyathelo ezandleni zakho uze ushiye inqaba yakho. Okwesibini, ukwandisa isangqa seminqweno kunye nokutyelela ngokuphindaphindiweyo apho kukho khona "iinkosana". Kwaye, okwesithathu, ukuba uvumelane nomntu oqhelekileyo, kodwa uthembisayo, kwaye uhlakulele kwizikhundla zobukhosi ndawonye.
Ukwanele "amaAmazons"
"Ndifuna ukutshata, ndifuna ukutshata!" Musani ukoyika, ndiya kuhlawula yonke into! "Amagama endumiso edumileyo ibonisa iindlela zobufazi abaninzi banamhlanje, abazama ukutshata, kodwa ukutshata nomyeni wabo wesikhathi esizayo. Yonke into enayo: indlu - indebe epheleleyo, kunye nekhondo kunye neengqungquthela ezithinteleyo, kunye nesimo sengonyama. Kuphela ekupheliseni ukwaneliseka ababenokukunyamekela ukutyelela, ukuphulaphula iintliziyo ngothando, kwaye ngoku kufuneka bafune ukukhulula inkululeko. Amadoda, ngokuqinisekileyo, awamkela "Ama-Amazoni", kodwa ungatshatanga abo "bazinomsofu." Ingundoqo yenkinga: Uhlobo lunike indoda leyo ngamandla, imvelo yomkhuseli, umgcini wesondlo, kwaye yamnika umsebenzi wokunyamekela intsapho. Umfazi onokwenza konke, uya kuhlonipha njengalinganayo kumandla omncintiswano, kodwa isibingelelo siya kuhamba nomnye. Ngomnye oya kumvumela ukuba aqaphele amandla akhe angokwemvelo, okuya kufuna uncedo lwakhe, kwaye kufuphi nalapho uya kuziziva ekhulile.
Isixazululo sale meko: Ama-Amazon, aphuphayo ukutshata, kuya kufuneka athathele inxaxheba "yentamo". Intloko ebuhlotsheni kufuneka ibe ngumntu! Nangona kunjalo, akadingeki ukuba wazi ukuba intamo ilawula intloko yakhe. Ukuba umfazi wase-Amazonian wayomelele ngokwaneleyo kwaye uhlakaniphile ngokwaneleyo ukuba uphumelele, ngoko kufuneka kube ngokwaneleyo ukuba ube nobulumko ngakumbi.
"Iikati"
Abasetyhini abakholelwa ukuba amadoda aphupha ngokutshata nje nge-sexcheschchechka yesondo kuphela - ephosakeleyo. Iingcali zengqondo, udliwano-ndlebe "akukho mizuzu emihlanu" yamadoda, ifumene ukuba kuphela i-20% yabesilisa abadliwano-ndlebe, bachaza abafazi babo, ababizwa ngokuba yizo zesini. Bonke abanye babonayo kubafazi abaza kuqala kwiimpawu zababhinqa abazinikeleyo: ezoqoqosho, abanenkathalo, abanomusa, abanokwethenjelwa, abathembekileyo, njl. Kubalulekile ukuba ngaphezu kwengxenye yabo bathetha ukutshata emva kokukhetha kwabo kwavunyelwa zizihlobo eziseduze. Akunzima ukuqikelela ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba abazali, bebona umkhwekazi, bephupha ngokubona ibhokhwe yesondo ngasemva kwendodana yabo, landelwa intamo nokunyuka komntu ukususela kwi-16 ukuya ku-96. Ingundoqo yenkinga: Ngokuchasene nenkolelo eninzi, amadoda athetha ukuthabatha, kodwa besini. Ngengqiqo, indoda ezayo ifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba umfazi uya kuhlala ethembekile kuye, kwaye uya kufundisa abantwana bakhe. Ukongezelela, abafazi abonwabela ukuthandwa kwamanye amadoda, unokucinga ukuba unomdla wokuhlala naye ixesha elide.
Isisombululo sale meko: Ukuba ibhinqa inesimo esithandekayo, ngoko ke, umntu akafanele afihle ubuhle obuphantsi kwesihenqo. Kodwa kungcono ukubeka zonke izinto eziphathekayo kunye nokuxhaswa komzimba wesibhakabhaka kwiingubo ezikhethileyo ezingagxininisa ubuchule, kwaye zingabonakali utywala. Umfazi oyinyaniso uyakhohlisa indoda eneentlobo ezahlukeneyo!
Ongunaphakade "abafazi"
Akumangalisi, kodwa abatshatangayo abo bafazi abathi, kubonakala ngathi, sele bemi ngenyawo kwiofisi yokubhalisa. Ngokuphathelele ngabafazi basekuhlaleni. Ukugqithisa ngokupheleleyo umyinge weNdlu yomtshato kwaye ube ngumnini womncinci womtshato abaphethwe yinyameko, i-conservatism okanye umonde ongafanelekanga. Uphando lweengcali zeengqondo ezifanayo lubonisa ukuba ukulinda iqhinga elivela kumadoda lithembeke kakhulu. Imitshato yomtshato iphelile ngomtshato, ukuba inyathelo elithathwe ngabafazi ngokwabo (ngokucacileyo okanye ngokucacileyo). Kwakhona, amanani achaza ukuba amathuba olwalamano olusemthethweni kunye nomfazi ovumelene ukuba "baphile kunye" ngaphezu kweyodwa, bahla ngokukhawuleza. I-crux yengxaki: Kubantu, umtshato wasemzimbeni udla ngokuba lichweba, apho kulungele ukulindela lowo uya kunika isandla sakhe, kunye nothando, kunye nomkhankaso phantsi kwesithsaba. Abafazi basekuhlaleni beli lixhoba lombono owenziwe, apho ukuhlalisana kukuqinisekisile isitampu kwipaspoti. Indoda, ngokuqaphelayo okanye engayiqondi, ayifuni ukusemthethweni ubudlelwane, ucinga umtshato inqanaba eliphezulu leemfanelo.
Isixazululo sale meko: Ngaphambi kokuba samkele isibonelelo somntu ukuba bahlale ndawonye ngaphandle komtshato, loo mfazi kufuneka abale ukuba yintoni imingeni yomtshato kunye nalo mntu, kwaye ingaba isibonelelo sokutshata siya kulandela. Ngaphandle koko, kukho umngcipheko omkhulu wokuzalisa ezo zibalo, echaza ukuba emva kweminyaka emihlanu yokuhlalisana, amathuba okuba ngumlingane ayancitshiswa kakhulu, kwaye emva kweeminyaka ezisixhenxe-zero.