Kodwa esinye isiqingatha sibonakala sizama ukungayinaki le mfuno, le mfuneko yokwenza ikhaya lakho livuyiswe ngabantwana bamomothekayo. Zonke iingxabano zakho zibonakala zingenakho ukukholisa. Kwaye ke umbuzo uzalwe: "Nokuba ungathini kumntu ondifuna umntwana kuye? Ndingenza ukuba ndiqonde, ndiphulaphule amagama am? ". Ngelishwa, ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukufumana ukuqonda ngokufanayo kule meko.
Nangona kunjalo - njani ukuchazela kumfana ukuba ndifuna umntwana? Ngaba kukho naziphi iingqinisiso ezinamandla, ezinye iintetho, iingongoma ezibuthathaka ezingagxininiswa? Emva koko, wonk 'ubani uyazi ukuba umfazi ofuna ukuba ngumama ufumana iimpawu zembali yengcuka, leyo leyo ingcinga yakhe ingakwazi ukulwa nokugqibela. Nangona kunjalo, apha kukho imibala emininzi.
Ngaphambi kokuthi: "Ndifuna umntwana kulo mntu," cinga ngako: ngaba ufuna ngokwenene? Wena ngokwakho? Mhlawumbi udlala nje kunye noluntu? Iindawo ezikude zikuxelele ukuba uye wahlala kunye nomthandayo ixesha elide, ukuba lixesha lokukholisa ugogo kunye nabazukulu. Kwaye awukho-hayi, kwaye uya kucinga: kwaye yinyani, iminyaka ihamba, kodwa akukho bantwana kwaye akukho. Ngaba bayabaleka kule minyaka? Ngaba ulungele abantwana? Lo ngumbuzo. Okokuqala kuzo zonke. Kusemagxeni athathaka oomama okuxhalabisa kakhulu umntwana. Kwaye kungekhona nje umntwana, malunga ne-"overage" yengane, naye, akufanele ilibaleke: yena kunye nesidlo sidinga ukupheka, kwaye kwindlu yokubeka, ukuhlamba, nokuphaphaza, nokunyusa. Ngaba ulungele konke oku, ngaba amahlombe akho alungele umthwalo onjalo? Ukuba impendulo ngu-yewe-kakuhle, ngoko unokuqala ngokukhawuleza kwi-"hilling" yesiqingatha esibalulekileyo.
Ngoko, mhlawumbi uzame ukuchazela inkwenkwe yakho umnqweno wokuba nosana. Ziziphi iimbambano ozenzileyo? Indlela yokukhohlisa? Ndifuna ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza: kwimiba amaninzi le nkqubo ide kwaye ngamanye amaxesha iyancipha, kuba amadoda ambalwa aya kuvuma kungekudala ukuba athethe inkululeko.
Ndifuna ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza ukuba akufanelekile ukuthatha umntu oneminyaka yobudala. Okokuthi, ukuba ingxabano yakho ebalulekileyo kukuba: "Sifanele sibe nomntwana, kuba sihlala sikhulile, kwaye ngoko ngelixa sisenza into ethile - kufuneka sizame konke okusemandleni ethu!" - ke kungcono ukuyiyeka le ngxoxo kuze kube mzuzu, ude ufumane iingxabano ezinzima. Ewe, yonke into ixhomekeke kumntu wakho naye. Kukho abafana abanobunzima nempilo yabo, bebukele kwaye bekhangele ukubukeka kunye nokukhwehlela kancinci bazibophe ngeengubo kwaye badle i-lemons epheleleyo. Ngaloo mbambano, "impilo" inokusebenza, kodwa kuphela kwisigqibo kunye nesinye isitatimende. Nangona kunjalo, loo madoda - awanalo.
Ngelo xesha, kuninzi kakhulu ukufumana abafana abathi, emva kokuba beva malunga nobudala babo, banokuqalisa, baze bavelise ubugwenxa. Kulula: amadoda avuthiwe kakhulu kunabesifazane. Ukuba abanye bethu sele beneminyaka engama-20 bekulungele ukudala intsapho yokwenene neyomeleleyo, ngoko ke kumadoda oku kuqonda kuza emva kwexesha elizayo. Akunjalo, abayintsapho embi - kwaye isebenza, kwaye bayakuthanda, kwaye ibonisa ukukhathazeka. Kodwa entliziyweni yam, njengoko bathi, abazange bakhule. Ngenxa yokuba besaba abantwana, bayesaba kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuba bayesaba ukulahlekelwa inkululeko yabo, into exabisekileyo. Kakade ke, ngenxa yokuba batshatile, sele beboshwe ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ezi azinjalo izibophelelo ezinokuthi ziphazamise izicwangciso ezithile. Kodwa ukuzalwa komntwana kuyisiganeko esinokuthi siphendule phantsi kwisityalo sonke. Lo akuyena ubhiya kunye nabahlobo, okanye uhamba nomfazi wakhe ukusa. Ukongezelela, ngubani okholiswayo xa uthetha into ethile kwisitayela: "Nangona sisenako"? Amadoda anokuqiniseka - anokuhlala kunye nokuba kungakhathaliseki iimeko. Yaye ukuba umntwana uya kwenza kube lula, kodwa ngoku usapho lwakho alulungele.
Inendima ebalulekileyo ekukhutshweni kwenzala idlalwe kwicala lezemali kwimeko. Ngelo xesha uthetha malunga nemvumba - umyeni wakho uyithathe kwaye aqale ukudlulisela kuwe zonke iimali-mboleko, amatyala kunye neendleko zenyanga, ngelixa udibanisa umvuzo omncinci. Kodwa umntwana uyadinga kakhulu: kunye nefenitsha entsha, kunye nokugqoka iigidi, kunye nemathoyizi kunye nekashki, ekugqibeleni! Awukwazi ukumelana noxinzelelo olunjalo lweengxabano kunye nokuyeka isikhundla, nangona kunjalo, kukho indlela yokuphuma. Mxelele umyeni wakho ngamathuba akhe. Kwi-stimulus entsha. Ukuqala, jonga omnye nomnye: ingabe isongela ukuphakamisa? Ngaba unokufumana ngaphezulu? Apha kukho amasebe amabini encokolayo, kuxhomekeke kumathemba omntu wakho.
Ukuba ungumsebenzi obalaseleyo, umphathi wakhe uyamxabisa kwaye uyamhlonela kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo uyachukumisa ukunyuka kwixesha elizayo kungekude kakhulu - ke oku kuyisizathu sokuba uqinisekise ukuba, ekugqibeleni, ukuchuma kwezinto ezibonakalayo kuya kukuvumela ukuba ube nosana. Kwaye kufuneka sizisebenzise ngokukhawuleza oku, kuba akukho mntu owaziyo oko kusalindele nangonyaka! Enyanisweni, unokuthi into yokuba unokutshutshiswa emva konyaka-kodwa awuyikuyeka kwaye uyime ngokwakho. Bathi, nangona baxothwa, zonke iinkonzo zakhe ziya kuhlala zilandelekile, eziya kuthi ziqwalaselwe xa uphando lomsebenzi. Kwaye ekubeni uThixo wanikela umntwana, ngoko, njengoko bethethayo, kwaye anike umntwana kumntu akayi kuthumba.
Kodwa ukuba ingxabano ephambili yomlingane kukuba unomvuzo omncinci, kwaye akayi kubona nayiphi na ithemba kwixesha elizayo - kufuneka ulungelelanise ngokukhawuleza kwimodi yokulwa kwaye ungene ekuhlaselweni. Emva koko, kwenzeka ntoni ngoko? Awunaso umntwana ngenxa yokuba umfana akayi kuzuza imali eyaneleyo? Yisithulu, uyabona! Ngaloo ndlela, kungcono ukuqala iimfuchule ngoku usemncinci kwaye unamandla okusebenza ixesha elide. Ngeemali zokuqala unokukunceda izihlobo (kuba zinokufanayo?). Futhi ungakulibali malunga ne-state aid, leyo leyo, ngenkcitho enemisebenzi, inokusinceda imeko yakho yemali.
Siye sathetha malunga nokuzimisela kwesibini esitshatileyo ukuba sibe nosana. Ngoko, nangona ulungele, akuthethi ukuba lixesha lokuqalisa umntwana. Lindela kude kukhula kunye nekamva lakhe ubaba, ngenxa yakhe ngeendlela ezininzi kuxhomekeke kwindlela osondele ngayo intsapho yintsana. Musa ukuba ngumnikazi wedwa - kunika umhlobo wakho ukulungiselela lo mcimbi. Kwaye uya kuza kule nto.
Yenza ikhaya lebhola - elincinci kwaye lingakhuselekanga, xelela intanda yakho ukuba imnyamekele. Kakade, ukunyamekela okufuneka umntwana ayenze ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kwinkathalo enikwe intshontsho. Nangona kunjalo, ubuncinane wena ngokwakho uza kubona ukulungelelaniswa kunye noxanduva lomlingane, ubuncinane ubuncinane bakhe. Ewe, kwaye mhlawumbi, uyayazi ubuhle boluvo olukhanyayo xa umntu efuna ngokwenene kuwe. Yaye uya kunika ukuba ucinge ngokufumana i-crumb.
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, elowo umntu unemibhobho yokulawula. Yaye ukuba uyintombazana enengqiqo kunye neengqondi, uya kukwazi ukufumana iifowuni ezifanelekileyo kwaye wenze intetho kwindlela efanelekileyo. Yiba nomnene kakhulu kwaye ucebise - kwaye uya kuba nako ukubonisa ubungqineli bakho ukuba ungenawo umntwana endlwini yonke into ezolile, edabukisayo kakhulu ... kwaye ufuna ukutshintsha ubomi bakho bentsapho ngokungongeza imibala ekhanyayo! Ukucacisa kumfana ukuba ndifuna ukuba umntwana angengxaki enjalo, ukuba uyanyamekela kwaye uyanyamekela. Ewe, kwaye ukuba akunjalo-ke unayo indlela ende yokukholisa, kuba okokuqala akukho nto eyenzekayo. Unokunyamezela kunye nomonde kwaye ulungele ukulwa kuze kube sekupheleni kovuyo lwakho lwentombi!