Ukushiya ngabahlobo bakhe. Ngeveki, xa uphupha ukuba nemibutho kunye, uhamba ngokuloba nomhlobo. Ngenye ixesha ugijimela eklasini lakhe ekwakheni i-dacha. Kwaye ushiywe wedwa ekhaya. Ubuhlobo besilisa - luhlobo luni lokuhlaselwa kunye nendlela yokulwa nayo? Umbuzo ogulayo ebomini besetyhini abaninzi.
"Shiya abahlobo bakho ngenxa yam ..."
Ngoko, kutheni indoda idinga enye indoda? Hayi, indoda enomfazi ulungile, kodwa ngezinga elithile. Ngesinye isikhathi uya kufuna isidumbu sakwabo ukuba bazive njengendoda. Ngoko kulungiselelwe. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba akufanele ufikelele ngokucacileyo ngabahlobo bomyeni wakho kwaye ngexesha ngalinye uyavumelana nomlinganiselo wexesha awazinikela kumalungu obulili bakhe! Makhe sihlalutye le meko kumzekelo okhonkco. Nasi uphawu oluphawulekayo (uJulia E., e-Ekaterinburg). "Ekuqaleni ndandonwabile kukuba u-Ivan, umyeni wam, unabangane abaninzi. Ndisoloko ndikholelwa ukuba ubuhlobo besilisa abuyingozi (anditsho ukuthandana ngesondo esifanayo). Kuyingozi kakhulu xa umntu enentombi. Emtshatweni, abahlobo bakhe bendigqoba ngeengalo zam, ndandiziva ngathi ndingumfazikazi. Nangona kunjalo, emva kweenyanga ezintandathu yonke into yatshintsha. Indoda iyaqhubeka idibana nabahlobo, iya kubambisa kunye nabo, itywala ibhiya kwi-bar bar ngeveki, kunye nangaphambi komtshato. Andizange ndiyiqonde le nto. Emva koko, ngoku uyingumntu otshatileyo, unentsapho, kodwa uziphatha ngokungathi ungumfundi! Kwavela ukuba abahlobo bakhe babaluleke ngaphezu kwakhe kunoko. Ndimele ndihlale ndodwa ekhaya, kwaye ngeli xesha uya kusela ubhiya kunye nabangaphambili nabo! Ekugqibeleni, wandithukuthela xa waqala ukuya kunceda omnye wabahlobo bam ukwakha indlu. Njalo ngeveki - kuye. Kwaye ukuba ngaba malunga nemali, malunga nemali-ndingathanda ukuyiqonda. Kwaye ngoko wayesebenzela into. Uthi, "Sihlobo, sifuna uncedo, uya kundinceda xa ndifuna." Kuya kunceda! Ndiyathandabuza ngoku. Ungumntu onobuthakathaka, umyeni wam, oko kuyisebenzisa kwakhe. Andikwazi ukuba yintoni endiyenzayo kwimeko enjalo, ndimele ndiyenze ntoni? ". Into yokuqala ungayilumkisa uJulia - musa ukukhawuleza. Kunokwenzeka ukuba, nangona unyaka emva komtshato. Ukudala intsapho yindlela entsha yobomi, isigqi esitsha. Akuyena wonke umntu onako ukukhawuleza ukuyeka indlela yokuphila awayekhokela ngayo, ekubeni ngumfundi. Njengomthetho, abahlobo bangaphambili bashiya indawo yokujonga ngendoda ngokuthe ngcembe: bayatshata, bashiye, bahambe ... Ngaba kuyafaneleka ngokukhawuleza emva kokuba umtshato ufune ukuba indoda iphule yonke into yokuqala kunye nokuzinikela kuwe kuphela kunye nentsapho? Kwabanye, ukuzaliseka kweemfuno ezinjalo akunzima. Kodwa ukuba ebomini bendoda indoda enobudlelwane ngaphambi kokuba intlanganiso idlale indima ebalulekileyo, ngoko sele sele ibe yinxalenye yobuntu bakhe. Ngoko ke, kuyimfuneko ukuba wenze ngokucophelela kwaye ukhethe. Zibuze umbuzo: udibana nomntu okhethiweyo kunye nabahlobo bakhe? Yiyiphi intsingiselo yokuvakalelwa? Kutheni enamathela kubantu? Bahlobo luni lwabahlobo? Ukuba ngumbuzo wobugcisa, malunga nokuzilibazisa - umntu makayilumke ngokukhethekileyo. U-Nikita P. - unyaka okhulayo, iminyaka emininzi waya kwi-Pamirs, wayinqoba zonke iintaba zeCaucasus. Kwimikhankaso engaphezu kweyodwa kwakufuneka incedisane. Ukongezelela, iintaba ngumlilo, iingoma zegitare ... Ubuhlobo nabanye abaqhubela phambili bayaqhubeka kwaye babuyela ekhaya. Umfazi kaNicita u-Olga "uyayinyamezela" into yokuzilibazisa yomyeni wakhe, eqonda ukuba kuloo ndawo ebomini indoda ayinakuyinqabela, nokuba uyayithanda kakhulu umfazi. Ukususela ngamaxesha, umenywa kwimibutho apho abagibeli behlangana nabafazi babo. UOlga waba ngumhlobo kunye nale ntsapho. Kulo "buhlobo bomntu" akukho nto ingozi. Umyeni ka-Olga uyabulela "ukuqonda" kwakhe, uvakalelwa enetyala xa ehamba ezintabeni, emshiya yedwa. Kodwa ekubuyeni kwakhe uzama ukumnika ingqwalasela enkulu kunokwenzeka. Ukunxibelelana nabahlobo, naye, kwimeko enhle kuye. Musa ukulibala: ukuze umntu wakho aziphathe njengomntu kunye nawe, kufuneka azithelekise namanye amadoda! Kufuneka ukuba abonakaliswe emehlweni akhe: ufunda uxinezelo, isibindi, ukuzimisela, uxanduva, ukuvelisa iimpawu zesilisa (uya kuzuza!). Khumbula, kwimeko enjani ukukhula "unina kamama": kunene, kwintombi.
Nangona ulawula "ukubopha indoda kwipketi" - isiphumo sinokuthi sichasene. Kwenzeke noAna. Wayekwazi ukufezekisa ukuba umyeni wakhe wayeka ukukhwela. Ekubeni uSergei (ngoko igama lakhe) wayemthanda kakhulu uAna, yena, njengoko bethetha, wahamba ngengoma yakhe emqaleni wakhe waza waba "yintsapho". Isiphumo - ukusuka kumntu ongenalwazi, ogxilile, ozinzile, waguqula iminyaka ibe yintswela-mva, inobuthakathaka, engenakukhathazeka. Ukuhamba kunye nokuxoxisana nezinye izigulini zamnika umqondo wamandla akhe, owadala umfanekiso "we-I-man." Indoda ayifanele isabele kwiintliziyo zabesetyhini, kufuneka ibe namandla ngakumbi ukuxolela ubuthathaka babesifazana ... Yonke le Sergei wayenayo, kwaye yile nto yayimtsalane noAna. Ngokuhamba kwindlela yokukhwela, "umfanekiso wesilisa" wancipha ngokukhawuleza, uSergei waqala ukukhawuleza, engafumani. Oku kwathintela ukuphendula kwakhe, ubudlelwane bakhe nomfazi wakhe. Kubuhlungu, kodwa namhlanje abahlali ndawonye kunye. Bobabini abanelisekile: U-Anna wathola enye indoda, kodwa nayo ayiyivuyo naye, kwaye uSergei akakwazanga ukubuyela kwindoda yakhe yokuzilibazisa ... Enyanisweni, imo yindoda yendawo yindoda iyahluke. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba ugwebe, cinga ukuba uluphi uhlobo lwenkampani yakho. Njengomthetho, ngumntu ngokwakhe, ngendlela egqoke ngayo, indlela azigcina ngayo, ngendlela yakhe yokuthetha - yonke into iyacaca ngokukhawuleza.
Ewe, ukuba indoda yakho ijikelezwe ngabantu ngendlela efanelekileyo yeli gama. Ukuba ezi ziyimpumelelo, zimelele abameleli abahloniphekileyo, abaqeqeshi. Ewe, ukuba umdlalo weentaba, ulwandle, ukuxuma kweparachute okanye imidlalo ye-equestrian. Yaye ukuba ibhotile okanye iziyobisi? Ukuba abantu baqokelela, nje "ukubamba iilwimi", ukuhleka ngabafazi? .. Ezi nkampani kunye "nabahlobo" ezinjalo zikhoyo. Kodwa ngaba ngabantu kuphela? Kwaye bangayinikela "ngomfanekiso wesilisa" womyeni wakho? Into enye kukuba indoda ayifuni ukukwazisa kubahlobo bakhe, kufuneka ikuqaphele.
Qaphela - unobhala omdala!
UJulia akasho nto malunga nobudala bakhe kunye nomyeni wakhe. Ukuba umyeni uneminyaka engamashumi amabini ubudala, ngoko kulungile ukuba akazange acacise, nantoni na indawo abahlobo abafanele bathathe ngayo ebomini bakhe, cha. Akakaze azive engumntu opheleleyo wentsapho (ukuze kwenzeke oku, sifuna kwakhona iinzame kwinxalenye yowesifazane). Njengomthetho, utshintsho oluninzi ngokubonakala komntwana. Ubunzima bentsapho engqondweni yomntu yanda, kwaye akuselula ukuba 'ahambe ekhaya,' umnqweno uvela kwintsiko kayise ukuba 'angene endlwini yakhe,' "ngumntwana wakhe." Kuze kube ngoku, umyeni kaYulia uziphatha njengomgqwenyana, akasenakulinganisa isimo sakhe seentsapho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba u-Ivan uneminyaka engama-30 ubudala (okanye nokuba ngamashumi amathathu), ngoko kukho izizathu zokuvakala i-alamu. Indoda eneminyaka ephakathi, ukuba engenayo intsapho, isetyenziselwa ukufumana inxibelelwano efanayo naye. Kukho, njengokuba kunjalo, ubuzalwana bobulolo (beziva bodwa) amadoda. Ngeendlela zabo ezingabhalwanga, ukuhlala rhoqo kwiintlanganiso, kunye neengxoxo zabo eziqhelekileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, xa esitshatileyo kunye namadoda eqhubeka ehlanganisene, aphuze, ahambe ngokuloba, azingele, ukuze ashiye eso sithuba esingenakuthenjwa ngaphambi kokuba sitshatile. Kufana negumbi elihlukileyo kwigumbi elibiweyo: waya khona, wavala umnyango emva kwakhe, kwaye -celwa ungakhathazeki. Enyanisweni, akukho nto embi kule nto - de kube imeko entsha ingayichasani ngokugqithiseleyo kumntu omdala okhululekile. Iinkcukacha ezibalulekileyo: ngelixa umfazi ubonwa njengekoloniyiti yeendawo ezizimeleyo. Into ethile, umhlaseli, abahlobo baze baxoxe ngokuloba. Lo mzuzu wokugqibela uyingozi kakhulu. Kuba esikhundleni sokufunda ukufumanisa ukungaboni kakuhle phakathi kwentsapho, indoda iya kusetshenziselwa "ukuthatha ilinen ecocekileyo ngaphandle kwendlu." Ukuxelela abahlobo ngomfazi wakhe, ngokufanayo, umthengise ngenxa yokuthotywa kwakhe, uphilise ukuzithemba kwakhe. Uyakha "umfanekiso wakhe," owamkhonza njengenqabana, kodwa kungekhona kwintsapho, kungekhona emehlweni omfazi wakhe, kodwa-ngaphandle! Ukungcatsha kuqinisa kuphela ukuvakalelwa kwakhe ngumfazi. Umda phakathi kwabafazi ukhula. Singaxelela ukuba oku kuqale ukuphela.
ULeonid B. wayehlala ephikisana nomfazi wakhe, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo imbangela yokuxabana yayiyiengxaki zesini. Ngelo xesha waqaphela ukuba wenzakalisa njani umfazi wakhe. Waqhayisa umnyango, waya kubahlobo bakhe. Kwaye bahlala kwimeko efanayo. Kwaye kwaza kuba i-comrades comrades ngenye indlela yathathwa ukuze ixoxe nabafazi babo. Kucacile ukuba kutheni bawaxabisa le "ntlanganiso zabantu" ngethuba le ntla nganiso baphatha kakubi "ngokubukeka besilisa." Ngaba ndifuna ukucacisa ukuba le ngqalelo yayingumngcipheko, ngamanye amaxesha nje i-vulgar, kunye nokusetyenziswa kwamagama angcolileyo? Kwaye ingxoxo malunga neengozi zobomi bentsapho yabangela ukuba, ekugqibeleni, umfazi washiya uLeonid.
Abahlobo bazalisa ukucima.
Ukuba phakathi kwakho kunye neqabane lakho kukho ukuxhamla ngokomoya nangokomoya, umyeni wakhe akaze abe nesidingo sokufuna "indawo" ecaleni. Kukho, ke, amadoda awanakukwazi ukuseka uxhulumano olunjalo nomfazi. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo sikhuluma ngokungafani ngokungaqhelekanga, ngokungafuni ukusebenza ngokomoya, ukungena kwihlabathi leengxaki, ubunzima, amava omntu ohlala naye. Ngoko ke ngokukhatyathwa kwithuba lokucoca, apho amanye amadoda (ukuba afuneki inkosikazi!) Ngaba uzama ukuzalisa ngokuthetha nabantu.
UAndrei L. waphupha ukuba ngumlawuli wefilimu, kodwa akazange akwazi ukudubula ifilimu enye. Namhlanje uhola isangqa esichukumisayo, ubhala ibhola engabikho mntu obekayo. Ususele ngaphezu kwemashumi amathathu, kwaye ubomi bubonakala bubekho ithemba kuye. Wayecaphukisa, uhlala enesimo esibi. Ngokukhawuleza waqala ukusela. Ngaba umfazi uyaziqonda? Uqhankqalaza ngokuchasa "ukuthotywa" kwakhe, njengoko ekuthiwa yiyo. Kodwa xa u-Andrei azama ukumchazela oko kwenzekayo emphefumlweni wakhe, ngandlela-thile wamcaphuka. Ucinga ukuba kumhle umnqweno wendoda yakhe yokuba ngumenzi wefilimu. Isiphumo: U-Andrew uhlala ehlangene namadoda avela kwisangqa se-bohemia yobuciko, apho baqonda kakuhle, bafumane amagama alungileyo, abakhuthaze, kunye nenkxaso yokomoya. Kodwa kungekudala uArena akakwazanga ukuma kwaye waqala ukukhalaza kubahlobo ngomfazi wakhe. Kwaye apha Ndafumana ukuqonda okupheleleyo phakathi kwabo! Akayishiyi intsapho, kodwa akafuni ukuqonda kunye novelwano, isithuba phakathi kwabo sikhula. Iinjongo zibuhlungu: akunakwenzeka ukuba intsapho enjalo iza kuhlala ixesha elide. Ngaba uyakwazi ukunceda umyeni wakho abe ngumlawuli wefilimu? Akunjalo. Nangona kunjalo, unokuyiqonda ubunzima bakhe, iimvakalelo zakhe, ingxabano yakhe yangaphakathi. Kwaye kwanele ukudala ithemba, kwaye loo mntu waqala ukufuna inkxaso ngaphakathi kwintsapho, kwaye kungekhona nabahlobo kwicala.
Abahlobo bakhe bomfazi.
Kufana necala eliphambili leengxaki. Intombi yakho kunye nomyeni wakho (okanye umhlobo). Ulwalamano lomntu kumhlobo wakhe lomfazi luhlala luba nombala wesini (ngokucophelela!). Kukho amadoda ekugqibeleni aqala ukuchonga umfazi kunye nentombi yakhe. Ngokukodwa ukuba kaninzi naye uvela endlwini kwaye uphazamise kuyo yonke into. Uthi yintoni iimpahla ozigqokeyo. Ucebisa ukuba yiyiphi ikhefu. Kwaye unceda iphepha lodonga lephepha lodonga! Uze unike iingcebiso malunga nokuziphatha kakuhle ebhedeni. Ngaloo ndlela, ungena kwisithuba esisezantsi somntu. Imvakalelo eya kumfazi iqala ukuqhutyelwa kwintombi! Indoda ayayazi ukuba iphi na intombi yakhe, kwaye apho umfazi wakhe ... Enye inketho yobudlelwane bomntu nomhlobo wakhe ngumfazi "intombi intombi." Kwenzeka, ukuba umntu unomntwana, indlebe ngothando nomfazi kwaye akafuni ukwabelana naye nabani na. Akayidingi abanye abafazi. Kodwa umfazi ngoku "uya kumhlobo wakhe": ukuxoxa naye kwifowuni, ukumnika ixesha elide (ngenxa yendoda). Kungekudala ngaphambi kokuxabana: unokuba nomona ngomhlobo! Ngaba ayiyinto emangalisayo? Akunjalo. Khumbula ukuba uzive njani ngebhola okanye inkampani yokuloba yomyeni wayo. Mhlawumbi, efana kakhulu: umntu ongenamnye ufuna ukuxelela ubomi bomhlobo. Kule nto kwaye uyabuhlungu. Ngoko uyaqhankqalaza. Iseluleko kuphela ukuvumelanisa ukunyanelana, ukudibana, ukuzama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zeqabane.
AKUNAKHO NOKUBA UKUBA UKUBA UKUBA UKUBA UKUBA UKUFUNA UKUYA
• udibana nabahlobo ngokungaqhelekanga
• ngexesha leentlanganiso bakhumbula ixesha elidlulileyo, bavuya kwiziqephu, ihlaya
• uyazi abahlobo bakhe
• uzama ukulungiselela intlanganiso ukuze anganikeli, iimfuno zentsapho
• udibene nabahlobo ngobudlelwane bezoshishino
YINI OKUFANELE UKUBHUBE:
• iintlanganiso eziqhelekileyo kunye eziqhelekileyo
• iintlanganiso zide (iiyure ezininzi, okanye zonke iiveki)
• Abafazi, iintombi zeentombi zixutyushwa ngeentlanganiso
• Ithoni yeentlanganiso zicaphukisa: ukuba ukuhleka, ukuthukuthela, kuninzi
• Unqanda ukuzethula kubahlobo bakhe
• Xa umcela ukuba ahlale ekhaya, ugawula umnyango aze ashiye