Imbali yenkqubela yomntu ngamnye iyingqayizivele, kwaye kwixesha layo elidlulileyo iimfihlo zifihlakeleyo ezinokuchaphazela ukuba kulula ukuba umntu angaphila ukugxeka okanye ukuhlaselwa. Amadoda amaninzi awakulungele ukunyamezela amaqhekeza amabhinqa. Kwaye ukuba abayishiyi intsapho, bashiya othandweni. Esikhundleni sokubonakalisa uthando kumfazi, bakhetha ukuchitha ixesha kwigaraji, kunye nabahlobo okanye kumdlalo webhola. Ukuphepha ulwalamiso akusoloko kusisigxina, ngamanye amaxesha kuhamba ukuya kolunye uhlobo lobungakanani, ukuhamba ukuya kwelinye ilizwe apho ukungena komfazi wakhe kungavunyelwe. Ezi zinokuba yimidlalo yekhompyutha, utywala, iincwadi zecala kwicala okanye imidlalo e-casino.
Ukuze uqonde oko kubaluleke kakhulu kumntu: ukuzincoma okanye ukuthandana, jonga ngokubhekisele kwiintlobano zentsapho yakhe. Ukuba ngaba abazali babenomdla kakhulu ngunyana wabo, bafaka izibonda eziphezulu, unokungazi kakuhle umfazi ongeke athengele. Amadoda anokukwazi ukuxolela umfazi okanye umthandi wabo ngenxa yokuzithemba kwabo bahlala bengakwazi ukufumana uthando olungenammiselo.
Uthando olungenamlinganiselo luyisiseko esibalulekileyo sobudlelwane obuhle kwintsapho. Olu luhlobo oluphezulu luthando, phantse ubugcisa, okhe, ngelishwa, luphethwe ngabambalwa. Ngaba sivame kangakanani ukuva kubazali bethu: "Ukuba ufumana utywala, ungabuyi ekhaya." Okanye: "Kufuneka uzame, unyana wam akakwazi ukuza kumgca wokugqibela kwimincintiswano yesibini". La mazwi angalimaza nayiphi nayiphi na, nangona isifo sengqondo esomeleleyo. Yaye xa umntu onjalo eba ngumntu omdala, kwaye uyamthiya amagama anjalo, akwazi ukujonga umlingane oya kuba nako ukuwabiza. Kuphela iimeko ezifuna ukuzaliseka utshintsho ukuze ufumane uthando. "Ngaphandle komvuzo, ungabuyi ekhaya," umfazi uthi kumyeni onjalo. Kwaye uyazibuza ukuba kutheni engathandabuzeki uthando lwakhe.
Ngaloo ndlela, sinokuhlukanisa ngokucacileyo uthando olungenammiselo oluvela kumthando ophantsi. Uthando olungenangqiqo alufunanga nayiphi na umzamo wokuxhasa, akufanelekanga. Ukuba ibhinqa liyamthanda umntu ngokungavumiyo, uyamkela njengalowo. Ogulayo okanye ophilileyo, ocebileyo okanye ohluphekileyo, onothando okanye ecasulayo. Akazami ukuwuguqula, ukuphinda afundise, kungekhona ukubeka iimeko. Ukuba umfazi usoloko ephazamisa umyeni wakhe ngeemeko ezahlukahlukeneyo, emgxeka, etshabalalise ukuzithemba kwakhe kunye nokuzithemba kwakhe, sinobuhlobo bothando.
Ndimele ndithi bonke abantu bazama ukulungelelanisa. Kwaye ukuba ithe ibhinqa libona imiqondiso yomcebisi okanye umgxekayo, kufuneka acinge ngokuguqula umbono wakhe ngobundlelwane nomyeni wakhe othandekayo. Nangona umntu ovela kwintsapho exhalabileyo, ejwayele ukungquzulana kunye nokugxeka kwakhe, mhlawumbi ngelinye ilanga uyaqonda ukuba ukhathele konke oku. Kwaye ngoko ubudlelwane buya kufikelela ekupheleni.
Akumangalisi ukuba inani lamadoda "libona" kwiminyaka engamashumi amane. Bashiya abafazi babo "kwiintshukuphuku ezincinane" ezibukekayo, zivula imilomo yazo. Ukunyaniseka okungahambelaniyo, ukuhlonipha igunya kumntu kubaluleke ngaphezu kwanoma yintoni na ubuhlobo obusesikweni apho umfazi efunyanwe naye kubaluleke kakhulu.
Umfazi ofuna ukuphepha iingxaki ezinjalo nomyeni wakhe kufuneka acinge ngeendlela azithetha ngayo kuye, ngeliphi ithoni abonisa ukuvunywa okanye ukugxekwa, ngoluphi uhlobo ochaza ngayo izicelo. Kungenxa yoko kubonakala ngathi kungenabulungisa, ekuqalekeni, izicelo zabantu zidla ngokukhawuleza? Kuba ngokuqhelekileyo ukuba isicelo sokuya esitolo uze uthenge amazambane, amadoda ayava ingcikivo yokuba akawuthabathi okwaneleyo kwintsapho. Ukuzithembela komntu kuyisisimbo esibi sobudlelwane bosapho.
Kukho iindlela ezimbini zokunxibelelana eziza kukunceda ukuba ugweme iingxaki ngokuziqhenya kwamadoda.
Okokuqala, iingqondo zeengqondo zincoma esikhundleni sokugxekwa ukuba zincoma. Emva koko, akukho nto inzima kuyo endaweni yoko: "Phuma udoti", uthi: "Xa uthabatha udoti, ndivakalelwa kwizulu le sixhenxe lonwabo / / obuthathaka / oyithandayo / othandekayo." Ukuphucula ukuphuculwa kwesi sihloko kungeke kusebenze, ngoko kuqale ngoku, bhala phantsi zonke izicelo zakho eziqhelekileyo kumyeni wakho kwisiqwenga samaphepha kwaye ungaziguquli njengesi sicelo okanye umfuno, kodwa njengokuba uncome.
Okwesibini, kungekhona malunga neemeko ezinezicelo, zama ukuthetha ngokuthe rhoqo kwindoda yakho malunga nendlela osebenza ngayo. Yithi uyayixabisa kuyo intsapho, ekunyamekela wena, ukukwazi ukusombulula iingxaki zemihla ngemihla neengxaki. Ukuba uyayihoxisa ingxaki enkulu, kodwa udumise impumelelo encinci yendoda yakho, akufanele uzibuze into ebaluleke kakhulu kumntu onothando okanye uthando. Emva kwakho konke, ulwalamano lwakho aluyi kuba nenkinga enjalo yokukhetha.