Ayikwazi ukuba yedwa
Amanye amadoda awanakukwazi ukuhlala ngokwawo. Ngenxa yezinto ezithile eziyinkimbinkimbi kunye nengqondo, loo mfana udinga umfazi ukuba abe ngumfana. Ukuba wahlukana nomnye, ngoko ufumana ngokutsha. Ukuba umfazi omncinci okanye ngaphantsi uyawahlela ngokubonakala kunye nomlingiswa, ngoko uya kuba kunye kunye de kubekwe imeko ukuze bafumane inxaxheba. Aba bantu banokuthetha ngothando nangemvakalelo ejulile, kodwa ngokwenene abazange bafumaneke. Olu hlobo lomntu lulungiswa kuye ngokwakhe, njengoko bezama ukujamelana nokulondeka kwabo nangayiphi na indlela, ingqalelo ingqalelo abo bawunyulileyo njengendlela yokusombulula ingxaki. Kwaye kubonakala ngathi bayabathanda yaye bathandana. Kodwa eqinisweni, loo mfana uyenzela okuthile intombi yakhe kuphela ngenxa yokuba ufuna ukuhlala naye. Xa ebomini bendoda enjalo ibhinqa, kulula ukuba akwazi ukujamelana neengxaki. Ukuphulaphula intombazana enhle, loo mfana ufumana ithuba lokulwa neengxube zakhe, apho akakwazi ukuwunqoba ngokwakhe. Ngexesha elifanayo, unokuziqwalasela ngokupheleleyo iimvakalelo zakhe njengothando, kuba ucinga ngabo. Kuba loo mntu, iingxaki eziphambili zihlala ziyingxaki zakhe. Ucinga kakhulu ngaye kwaye wenza konke ebomini njengoko uya kuba lula kubo. Amantombazana athatyathwa ecaleni, ngokukhawuleza kamva, okokuqala, bazama ukutshintsha into ethile, bahamba nje. Kwaye, abantu, besenza umzamo omncinci wokubuyisela umfazi, "bayitshangise esandleni sakhe" kwaye bafumane umthombo omtsha ukuba balwe neenkomfa zabo.
Bonisa
Akunjalo ngamaxesha onke amadoda athola uthando olutsha. Kuphela nje ukuba baninzi babo bafuna ukubonisa into kwaye bayibonakalise okokuqala. Yingakho abantu baqala ukutshata nomntu. Njengendlela eyahlukileyo, bazenza ukudibana. Kule meko, isizathu salo mkhuba sizo zonke izakhiwo kunye ne-ego yesigxina. Umntu ucinga ukuba: ungandishiya njani, ngoko ucebisi, mhle kwaye ungcono? Akukho nto, ndiza kubonisa ukuba ndifuna umntu kwaye wayephosakele ngokwenza oku. Ukukhokelwa ezi ngcamango, le nkwenkwe iqala ukuqhubela phambili kwiiklabhu nakwezinye iindawo, kukho amantombazana amaninzi kwaye uyifumana umntu onokuboniswa kuwo wonke umntu njengentando yakhe entsha. Ngezihlandlo ezinjalo, abafana banqabile ukuba baqaphele ubunzima beentombi ezintle kunye nokuhambelana kwazo kwizinto ezithandayo kunye neminqweno. Konke oku kuvela kwimvelaphi, kuba kwindawo yokuqala umntu kufuneka aqinisekise ubungqina bakhe besilisa kunye nomtsalane. Kwaye oku, akayidingi umhlobo othembekileyo wobomi, kodwa ubuso obuhle, malunga nabaphi na abaqhelekileyo abaza kuthetha kunye namahemuhemu aya kufumana.
Ewe, ukwenza oku kuphantsi kakhulu kwaye kuyisidenge. Kodwa abantu abaninzi abanako kwaye abafuni ukuqonda ukuba umona akayi kubuya kumfazi. Ewe, ewe, unokuba nomona, kodwa ukuba intombazana yayiqhubekile, ngenxa yokuba wayengahlali ngokwenene nolwalamano, ngoko wayenomngqinela ngeemodeli, isithandwa sakhe sangaphambili asiyi kukwazi ukumnyanzela ukuba abuyele, ngenxa yokuba umona kule nto ulahlekelwa kakhulu ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ukuba Kakade, kukho intombazana enjalo. Ngoko ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuxhalabisa kuba umntu owayengumntu owakhumbula nje ngawe, jonga kakuhle imeko. Mhlawumbi, kungomzuzu nje ukuba wenza konke ukubiza loo mava, kwaye awuyidingi loo nto. Ngako oko, musa ukutshisa umdla wakhe kunye nemibono yakhe yentshiseko kunye nemibuzo kwiimpawu eziqhelekileyo malunga nokuba ngubani olandelayo. Kwaye kunjalo nangakumbi ungathethi ngento entsha eyenziwa ngulo mfana ngokwakhe. Ukuba uqala ukusabela ekuziphatheni kwakhe, umphumo uya kufezwa kwaye uza kufuneka uhambe ixesha elide kwinqanaba elivaliweyo, apho uya kuzama ukwahlula khona, kwaye le ndoda iya kuba ngeendlela zonke ukwenza ukuba umona wakho ubuyisele.
Wayengafuni
Ngelishwa, isizathu sokuba ukutshintshwa okukhawuleza kwintombi kumnye umfazi kunokuba yinto yokuba intombazana yayingayithandanga yakhe yangaphambili okanye ayizange ivelele kuye ixesha elide. Mhlawumbi waqala ukudibana naye, kwaye ngoko wayebonakala esetyenziswe kuyo. Okanye uyabona umfazi uyamthanda, ngoko wayenaye, kodwa ngentliziyo wayefuna ukuba i-onasama igqibe ubudlelwane. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abasetyhini bajongene ngenxa yokuba le ntombazana yafumana ngokukhawuleza ukutshintshwa kwimeko xa abafazi be-initiators of the separation. Xa abantu banquma ukushiya, imeko iyacacile, kuba ukunakekelwa kubangelwa kwelinye, okanye ngenxa yokuba umfana akayithandi. Kodwa xa intombazana icebisa ukugqiba ulwalamano, ngoko ke iyacaca ukuba loo mntu ukhawuleza ukuba amkhohlwe ngaye.
Kule meko, amadoda ahlala ekhohlakele. Banoyika nje ukuthatha uxanduva lokwahlukana, ngoko benza konke ukwenzela ukuba umfazi afune ukuwashiya, kodwa abazithathiyo ngokwabo. Apha, yonke into iya kuba, njengamaxesha adlulileyo, kuphela kwiinkqubo zamadoda. Umfana ufuna ukuziphatha kakubi emehlweni omphakathi, uloyiko lokulahlekelwa ngumgangatho wakhe, uloyiko lokuba abantu baya kudaniswa naye baze bahambe. Yingakho umntu osemncinci ekumangaleni xa intombi yentliziyo iyakhathala ngokuziphatha kwayo kwaye uya kugqiba ukumshiya. Emva koko unembeza ocacileyo uqala ukwakha ubudlelwane obutsha. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, abafazi akudingeki bacinge ukuba babi ngaphezu kwezinto ezintsha kuneentombazana ezitsha, ukuzitshintsha kunye nezimpande kwimiphefumlo yabo. Ngomntu nje, sonke sabantu abahlukeneyo kwaye ngamnye wethu ufanelekile ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, kwaye omnye umntu uyisinyathelo esiphakathi esifanele sagqityiwe kwaye siyilibale. Ngako oko, akusoze kudingekile ukuba ufumane kwaye uhlale ukhumbule. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba umfana wenza oku, ngoko ke ngumntu obuthathaka, kuxhomekeke kwimbono jikelele. Kwaye kumntu onzima kunzima ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye bokwenene, kuba uya kuhlala ehlala neliso labanye. Ngoko ke, ukuba ubonile ukuba le ntombazana yaqala ukudibana nentombazana entsha, nqwenela inqwenela kwaye ivule intliziyo yakho ngeemvakalelo ezintsha kunye nobudlelwane. Inyaniso yokuba lowo owayengumdala akazange akuthande ngokwaneleyo ayikho into eyoyikekayo kwaye iyatshitshisa. Uthando luvakalelo olunokuza kwaye luhambe, kodwa ngesifundo, ngesigxina sakho sangempela unakho ukuthwala uthando kuze kube sekupheleni kobomi bakho. Kufuneka nje ukudibana nalowo mntu.