Isilinganiselo sobubele nothando lukaRubin
Isazi seengqondo, uZik Rubin, wayengomnye wabokuqala ukuzama ukubeka uthando emashelweni. Ngokwakhe uluvo, "uthando", ukunakekelwa kunye nolwalamano "luyingxenye" yothando lomthandane. Yilo "uthando lokutya" olunokufunyanwa emtshatweni okanye nasiphi na ubuhlobo obusondeleyo.
- Isinamathiselo - umnqweno wokuba nomnye umntu, umxhase kwaye ufumane inkxaso ngenkxaso. Kubaluleke kakhulu kukuqhagamshelana nomzimba kunye nokuvunywa.
- Iinjongo - ezijoliswe ukwenza omnye umntu azive kakuhle. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iimfuno zakhe zibekwe phezulu kunezakhe.
- Ubusondelelo ngumnqweno wokuziphathelana nezinye iingcinga zakho kunye nemvakalelo yakho.
URubin waya phambili: akazange achaze nje iincutshana zothando, kodwa i-questionnaires iphakanyisiwe. Ukuphendula imibuzo embalwa, unokufumanisa ukuba ungubani umntu - umthandi okanye umhlobo nje.
Uthando olunomdla kunye novelwano
U-Elaine Hetfield waphefumlela ezinye iinjongo zesininzi ngemisebenzi yakhe. Akazange amshiye uphando lwakhe nangona i-senator yakhe yaseMelika yamhlekisa. UHashfield wacebisa ukuba kukho iintlobo ezimbini zothando: unomdla kunye novelwano.
Uthando olunomdla luvunguvungu, isithwathwa semvakalelo, umnqweno onzima wokuba nomntu wakho nomntu oqabane naye kunye nomkhwa wesondo oqinileyo. Ewe, ewe, izambatho ezazisasazeka phantsi, apho kungekho mntu wayenayo ixesha lokubeka phantsi nangesihlalo, kukubonakaliswa kwesithando. Ngokuqhelekileyo olu hlobo luthando aluhlali ixesha elide: ukususela kwiinyanga ezintandathu ukuya kwiminyaka emithathu. Nangona kungenjalo kuyadlula - isondelelo sinokunyuka kwisinyathelo esilandelayo kwaye sibe yintando yenceba. Yingakho "abahlobo ngocansi" batshata kwaye bakha intsapho eqinile, nangona okokuqala into yayikuzonwabisa nje.
Uthando olunesihe lusebulumko kwaye lubekezela. Njengengubo ecocekileyo, uhlanganisa abantu abaneenhlanhla kwaye ubavulela ngokufudumala novelwano. Ukuhlonipha, ukuncedisana, ukuqonda kunye nokwamkelwa komnye, iqondo eliphezulu lokuthembela kunye nomsa wothando luhlukanisa olu hlobo lothando oluvela kwintando. Kwaye mhlawumbi sele uqikelele ukuba akayeki ngokukhawuleza. Uthando olunjalo luhlala iminyaka emininzi.
Izindlela ezithandathu zothando
Ngaba ucinga ukuba uthando lufana nevili lombala? Kodwa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJohn Lee uyaqiniseka ngoku. Ukholelwa ukuba kukho ezintathu "imibala" eyisiseko-uhlobo lothando-okokuba, xa luxutywe, yenze iifolda ezongezelelweyo.
I-"palette" ephambili yothando imelwa yi-eros, i-ludus kunye ne-storga.
U-Eros - umvakalelo osekelwe ekukhangekeni kwemizimba; yinqwenelelo yokulungelelanisa, emzimbeni nangokomzwelo.
ULudus ngumdlalo wothando-mithetho kunye nemigangatho yayo; abantu baziphatha njengabadlali enkundleni. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwiLudus, amaqabane amaninzi abandakanyekayo (ngoko kukho intantathu yothando).
Isondo - uthando olunzulu, ukusondelana kwemiphefumlo, ephuma ebuhlotsheni.
Ezi zinto zintathu, ezikhoyo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, zenza iintlobo ezintsha zothando. Ngokomzekelo, ukuzithemba kunye nokulinganisela, apho iimvakalelo zisekelwe ekubaleni, okanye ekuthandeni-ukugqithisa ngokugqithiseleyo kwemvakalelo, imizobo yesikhwele kunye nemvelo yobutyebi.
Iingcamango ezintathu zecandelo
Ngo-2004 uRobert Sternberg wacetyisa ingcamango efanayo. Kuphela nje ngezinto ezisisiseko, ubona ubuhlobo obusondeleyo (ukusondelana nokuxhaswa), ukuthanda (isondo kunye nesisa) nokuzibophezela (umnqweno wokuba nomntu), ezimelelwe kwiintlobo ezisixhenxe zothando: uvelwano, ukunyaniseka, uthando olungenanto, uthando, olungenanto nothando olugqibeleleyo.
Ukuqaphela uthando kukubona kuqala: kunomdla kuphela, kodwa ukusondelana kunye nezibophelelo akunakufumaneka apha. Yingakho le nto yokuzilibazisa ikhawuleza kwaye kaninzi ingazange ilandelwe. Uthando olungenanto luyinkambiso ngakumbi kunemvakalelo enzulu. Isekelwe kwisithembiso (okanye ukuzama kwangaphakathi) kokugcina iqabane elithembekileyo kwaye lizimisele ukwakha ubudlelwane obuhlala. Ukungenangqiqo-ukugxila kokuthanda nokuzinikela ngokupheleleyo, ngaphandle kokwazisa kunye nokuthembela; ngokuqhelekileyo kubangele imitshato emfutshane.
Ngokutsho kweSternberg, ngothando olugqibeleleyo kukho zonke izinto ezintathu, kodwa kunzima ukugcina. Ngamanye amaxesha ahlale engabi naluncedo. Ukuphonononga ubudlelwane bale nxalenye emithathu - ulwalamano, uthando kunye nokuzibophezela - unokuqonda ukuba ulwalamano lwakho nesinye isiqingatha nento eningayiphucula ngayo. Kwabanye, olu lwazi luya kucacisa ukuba lixesha lokumisa ulwalamano, apho kusekho encinci.
Uthando luhlala lusenomdla lulwazi: izazifilosofi zokuqala, kunye neentlalo-ntsapho kunye neengqondo zeengqondo zafunda lo mva wokukhanya kuzo zonke iintlobo. Yaye ke isayensi kufuneka ijongane namaqiniso kunye namava kwaye ibone uthando ngaphantsi kwe-microscope, ungalibali into ephambili: baxabise abantu abasondeleyo-akukho nto ingcono kunothando kunye nolulungekileyo.
Ngokusekelwe kwincwadi ethi "Psychology".