Kutheni si soyika u lonwabo?

Kuya kubonakala, luhlobo luni lulu lonwabo? Ngokuqhelekileyo kunzima ngathi ukuthatha isikhashana ukuba sihlale sisodwa kunye ne-ego yethu. Kodwa ngokudlukisayo, ubomi bwanamhlanje abuhlanganisi abantu, kodwa, ngokuchasene noko, kwandisa ii-singles. Imihla ngemihla ingxabano kunye neentshukumo zeendlela zishiye ixesha elingaphantsi nelingaphantsi lokuxhulumana ngokuhlala, kunye nejejethi zitshintsha abahlobo, amanxibelelwano asekuhlaleni kuphela afana nokuxhamla. Konke oku kusenza sizive sisodwa. Ukuphazamiseka kokunxibelelana
Indoda isilwanyana esentlalontle, yingako ivakalelwa kukuba yedwa. Ukuziphendukela kwemvelo siye sijwayele kuyo, kwaye iyancipha, ukuba iqela - ukuqokelela ukutya ndawonye, ​​ukuziva ukhuselwe xa kuhlaselwa kweentshaba. Kwaye uloyiko luhlala lushiywe apho: ixesha elide lokuphuhliswa komntu, oshiywe yedwa akayi kuphila ... Ukongeza, amadoda kunye nabasetyhini baneenjongo ezibangelwa ukudala intsapho kunye nokuzala abantwana. Oku kuyinto evamile, kwaye ukuphambuka kwayo kubangelwa yimpawu zobuntu bomntu okanye ngeengxaki zengqondo ezifunyenwe ngabo ebuntwaneni okanye ekukhuleni.

Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu ufumana uluncedo kumanqanaba amabini: ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Ngomntu wedwa wedwa, siziva singcwatshiswe ngaphakathi kwethu, sithandwa ngumntu ongenamsebenzi, ukushiya, ukungabi nalutho. Ngobuchopho bengqondo, inqanaba lentsebenziswano yentlalo kunye nehlabathi liyancitshiswa, kwaye iziqhelo eziqhelekileyo zokunxibelelana ziyaqhekeka. Ukuvakalelwa kukuba "ndedwa" kubonakaliswe ngokuyinhloko njengemfuneko yokufakwa kwiqela elithile okanye ukudibana nomntu. Sinobukrakra obubuhlungu kunye nale mfuno. Njengoko ubuhlungu benyama busikhusela kwiingozi eziphathekayo, ubunyulu busebenza njengentlungu "yentlalontle" - ukukhusela umntu kwizisongelo ezikhokelela ekuzimele. Ingaba yinkcazelo efunekayo yokutshintsha ukuziphatha, ukuhlawula ngakumbi ubudlelwane. Abaphandi eYunivesithi yaseBoston bafumanisa ukuba xa umntu eqala ukuziva elahliwe kwaye elahliwe, ngoko uqala ukusebenza ngokusemthethweni kwiindawo ezifanayo zesifo sengqondo njengoko zifumana umonakalo ngokomzimba. Ngaloo nto, kwacaca ukuba ubuchopho bomntu bunikeza iimpawu ezifanayo ze-alamu ekuphenduleni iintlungu zomzwelo nangokomzimba.

Usindiso ekunxibelelaneni
Ukuba sizama ukuchaza iimvakalelo esizifumana sisodwa, kukho ukuba sithetha ngesimo esikukhumbuza ukufa. Ukuzixhalabisa akuyona into engakumbi nje yokufa. Sinokungabikho kwangaphakathi, ukulahleka kwentsingiselo kunye nomdla ebomini, kuba akukho nto esele isenokubangela, izalise into ebalulekileyo. Kwinqanaba elithile, ukuhlala kwedwa kubonwa njengengqondo yokufa. Akumangalisi ukuba sithatha isilingo njengento enzima, engenathemba - iqulethe izinto ezikhoyo, njengokungathi sisele kwingcwabeni, apho kuluhlaza, kuthulile, akukho mntu kwaye akukho nto ngaphandle kwakho.

USigmund Freud ufundela wedwa wedwa ngenxa yokuba uhambelana ngqo nokutya ukufa. Wayekholelwa ukuba abantu bayesaba ukuba bangafi kangako ukuba babe ngabanye. Ngokufa, ingqondo iyayeka ukuba khona, kodwa imeko yokuzihlukanisa, esicinga ngayo, kodwa thina sonke sodwa, sinendaba ngakumbi. Indlela yodwa yokukhusela oku kukunxibelelana, oko kukuqinisekisa ubungakho bakho. Ukuqinisekiswa okunjalo kuyimfuneko nje ukuba i-psyche isebenze ngokuqhelekileyo, kodwa ukuba ingekho, kubakho ukwesaba okukhulu.

Kunzima ukucinga, kodwa ebomini bomntu kukho ixesha apho engaziva elolo. Ngokwe-psychoanalysis, oku kuvela ebuntwaneni, ekuqaleni kwe-ego formation: umntwana uvakalelwa kukuba unxulumene nendalo - "umoya we-ocean". Ngokukhawuleza xa siqala ukucinga, siqonde imeko yethu yangoku kwihlabathi, sibe "ngaphandle kokuthemba" yodwa - kwaye uzame ukunqoba ngokuthetha. Ngokutsho kweengqondo zengqondo, ukwesaba ukukhutshwa ngokubanzi kunomsebenzi omuhle-kusenza sihlale sithethana. Yaye ukuba ukhangeleka ngakumbi kwihlabathi - idibanisa uluntu ngokupheleleyo.

Mama, ungakhathazeki.
Singahlala kwintsapho enkulu kwaye sivakalelwa ngokukhululeka kwabanye. Kodwa kukho phakathi kwethu abo bangabandezeleka kakhulu kwedwa. Yisiphi isizathu sokuba "ukhuseleko" olunjalo? Ukuzinza okukhulu kwengqondo kwaba bantu kuqhotyoshelwe ukuba ihlabathi labo elingaphakathi lihlalwa yimifanekiso kunye nemifanekiso yabalingani abasondeleyo - banceda ukukhanyisa imizuzu, iiyure kunye neentsuku umntu angayisebenzisa ngaphandle komntu othile. Siyaqiniseka ukuba le "zinto" zihleli ngaphakathi - umzekelo, unina onenkathalo, oncedisayo-akaze asishiye.

Ukukhula kunye nokukwazi ukwahlukanisa kuthetha ukuba umntwana, ngokunyamekela kwakhe kumama, uyomeleza inkolelo kwisimo sengqondo esinobubele bendalo yangaphandle. Lo mfanekiso woMama ongaphakathi, ozayo emva koko uya kuba yinkwenkwezi ekhokelayo, inkxaso kunye nenkxaso kwixesha elinzima lobomi, libekwa phantsi kwangoko kwasebuncinaneni. Siyakha ihlabathi lethu ngenxa yamava okwenene. Ukuba umama wokwenene wayekhathalele ngokwaneleyo, ukuphendula, ukuxhaswa ngokwemvakalelo, yayisondele, xa siphule idolo, siduduza, xa sithatha isikolo esikolweni-ke umfanekiso wakhe uze ungene ngaphakathi. Yaye xa ithe yaba yinto embi, sinokujika kuye size sithole amandla kuye. Ngokuqhelekileyo siphendukela kulo mfanekiso kunye nomoya ombi, kwaye xa izinto zihamba ngakumbi kunanini ngaphambili. Sinokubonga ukuba sibonga kulo mfanekiso, sizinakekele yonke imihla.

Ngokungafaniyo, umntu ophakathi ngaphakathi wakhiwa phakathi kwabo, ebudeni beenyanga zokuqala zobomi babo, baziva belahliwe. Endaweni yomama onomdla, umntu onjalo unelungelo elingenanto. Ngokwazinzululwazi, amava okuba ngumntwana yedwa ebusweni bukawo unomthelela ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba uya kuqonda njani emva kwakhe ukulahlwa kwakhe.

Enyanisweni, abantu abayikwesaba kakhulu ukuba banesizungu, kunjani ukuxinezeleka, ukuhlukanisa ngaphakathi. Kule meko, sibonakala silahlekelwa nguMama wethu ongaphakathi kwaye siqala ukuziva siselunzulu obunzulu, ukushiya ngokupheleleyo kunye nokungabi naluthando.

Phuma isangqa
Ukuba uluntu luphela luloyiko uluntu luncedo, ngoko ngamava ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu. Umngcipheko wokuba isangqa esivaliweyo sikhulu, xa ukwesaba ukuhlala kwedwa kubangela ukuhlukana ngakumbi. Uyakwazi ukuthetha nathi, umzekelo: "Musa ukuya kumhla, uya kushiywa, uya kuhlala uwedwa" okanye "Musa ukwenza abahlobo - baya kukungcatsha." Ukuphulaphula ilizwi lokwesaba kwethu, siyawutyeshela imfuneko yokunxibelelana, ukufumana ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kunye nomlingane.

Xa uziva unesizungu, akuthethi ukuba into ephosakeleyo kuwe. Kodwa asikwazi oko oku kwaye siqala ukucinga ukuba "akufaneleki", "akukho nto". Kwaye kwenzeka ukuba abantu abanesizungu bawela kwelinye icala: benza konke okusemandleni ukwenza abahlobo, ukuba bafumane umqondo wokuba ngabanye. Eli liva libuhlungu kakhulu, likwazi ukuphelisa zonke iinzame zokulwa nokuzihlukanisa. Ngokusoloko ukuxilwa kubonakaliswa ngomsindo, ubundlobongela kunye nentukuthelo ekwahlula umntu kuphela kwabanye.

Ukuba uloyiko lobumnwa luba yinto engathandekiyo, unokuzama ukuhlakulela intsimi apho ukwesaba kungahlali khona. Oku kuthetha ukubuyisela, ukubala isiqhamo, ukunika ukufikelela ekubonakalisweni kothando, ukuhleka, ukuzithemba kunye nokuxhalabisa okukufutshane.

Ukuziva unesizungu ekungabikho koonxibelelwano oluzaliswe ngentsingiselo eqhelekileyo. Kwimeko yangoku, ukunyuka kweemfuno zokusekwa kunye nenkxaso yobudlelwane. Ukuqatshelwa kwedwa nje njengengxenye ebalulekileyo yobomi buntu kunokunika amandla amandla okulungisa imeko, kunokubandezeleka kuyo. Ukwamkela ngaphandle kokugwetywa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala nesona sifanelekileyo.