Ndithandana notitshala, ndimele ndenze ntoni?

Uthando luhlala lusalindelekanga kwaye ngamanye amaxesha alukho ngokupheleleyo kubo, ngathi kubalulekile ukuba sithande. Ngokomzekelo, kwikholeji, amantombazana amaninzi athatana notitshala babo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, aba bafana abatsha abasanda kuphumelela kwiyunivesiti. Kodwa kukho neemeko xa iimvakalelo ziphuma kumadoda amadala. Nangona kunjalo, nangona kunjalo, uvakalelo luthando luseyodwa, luhlungu, lwenza ukwenza izenzo zokukhawuleza kwaye uhlale ucinga malunga nokuba ingaba kunye okanye intombazana yenza into engalunganga. Enyanisweni, ekuthandeni notitshala akukho nto ihlawulelwayo. Kodwa ukuze ufezekise ezinye iziphumo okanye ubuncinci ukuba ungabonakalisi yonke into, kufuneka uziphathe kwaye ungenzi izinto eziyinqatha.


Yizisa ngesitye

Amantombazana amaninzi enza iphutha elikhulu ukuzama ukudukisa utitshala. Bembatha iingubo ezincinane kunye namabala avulekileyo, qala ukuziphatha ngokumema njalo njalo. Olu hlobo lukhawulela umfazi. Ukuba ngaba utitshala wakho unjalo, ngoko, uya kuthi aphendule kwiifowuni zakho, kodwa ulwalamano lwakho luya kuqhubeka. Ekugqibeleni, uya kulila kumakhonkco, kwaye uya kuqala ukudlala ngothando ngolu hlobo olulandelayo. Ukuba utitshala ungumntu okhulileyo ngokwaneleyo, akanakuze avumele ukuba asebenze kule mpawu. Ngaphezu koko, kunokuqala ukumcaphukisa. Ukongeza, ootitshala bayazi kakuhle ukuba akukho mntu uya kubhala ibhonasi yobudlelwane nabafundi. Ngoko ke, bazama ukuphepha iimeko ezinjalo. Kodwa ukuba umntu uthanda umfundi wakhe, unokuzama ukuqala ukuthandana naye. Kodwa ukunyanzelisa okunjalo kunye nokuziphatha okuhlaziyiweyo ngokuqinisekileyo akuyi kubakho kule nto.

Zama ukwenza abahlobo

Ukuba ufuna ukuqhagamshelana notitshala, zama uzenzele kunye naye. Abantu abancinci banokuqhagamshelana nabafundi ngokukhawuleza kumandla omncinane weminyaka. Ngoko ufuna nje ukufumana isizathu sokuqala incoko. Kungaba yinto ethile malunga nokufunda okanye malunga neminqweno yakhe, akuxelela yona. Kufuneka uqalise uqhagamshelwano lokuqala kwaye ukuba luphumelela, ngoko unokwazi ukuthetha ngezihloko ezahlukileyo. Kodwa ukuba ubona ukuba utitshala akafuni ukuthetha nawe, akufuneki ukuba uzame ukuqwalasela nayiphi na indlela. Ukuziphatha kwakhe kubonisa ukuba awunomdla kuye nangomntu, ungakhankanyi ngokukhenkcelwa kwamabhinqa. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku kubuhlungu kunye nokuhlambalaza, kodwa kungcono ukuqonda yonke into kunokuba uzidelele ukuba ungathembekanga. Umele uqonde ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba ube ngumntu onobubele. Ngoko ke, umntu akanakuqhubeka nokuzama kwakhe ukusondela kumfundisi ngandlela-thile. Ngalolu cala kuya kubonakala ngathi uyawuphishekela kwaye wenziwa nje.

Ukuba utitshala uthintana naye, ngoko unokwazi ukuthetha naye. Kodwa akukho mcimbi ungaxinzezeli iziganeko. Musa ukuphakamisa ngokukhawuleza izihloko ezithandanayo kwaye uvumele ngakumbi ukuthanda. Kuphela ngathi ukuthetha nomntu ngendlela othetha ngayo nawuphi na umntu omtsha. Kwaye nawuphi na umzekelo, musa ukwakha izicwangciso ezide. Mhlawumbi umntu ufuna ukuba ngumhlobo nawe, kodwa akayi kubona yakho intombi kuwe. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukucwangcisa umtshato, fumana umntu ongcono, uqonde indlela i-kakon ikuphatha ngayo.

Musa ukunyundela uthando lwakho nabalingana nabo

Ewe, kunzima ukuba amantombazana ahlale ethule ngeemvakalelo zabo, kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuba ubuncinane ubuhlobo kunye notitshala, musa ukuzivumela ukuxoxa ngothando nabantu ofunda nabo. Ukuba oko kwenzeka, kwiintsuku ezimbalwa utitshala uya kuqalisa kwaye afune ukuva iindlebe zothando lwakho. Kwaye njengokuba uyazi, amahemuhemu ahluke kakhulu kwizinto ezithethwa ekuqaleni. Ngoko ke, kwenzeka ukuba utitshala wakho uya kuqala ukwesaba wena, njengesibetho, kuba umntu uya kumxelela malunga nokunyaniseka kwakho kunye namaphupha angcolileyo ngomntu wakhe. Ukongezelela, umntu oqhelekileyo uyaqiniseka ukuba ukuba le ntombazana inxulumene naye ubuncinane ubunenjongo enzulu, ayiyi kuvumela ukuba ibe yimbangela yeendlebe, ukuhleka kunye nokujonga okungaqhelekanga kwindlela yakhe.

Kakade, iyunivesithi ayikho isikolo, kwaye ulwalamano nomfundi utitshala angeke anakekelwa, kodwa unokukwazi ukutsha umlilo. Ngoko ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthandaza kumava akho, cinga ikhulu kangangexesha ukuba uyayidinga. Ikakhulukazi ukuba awukwazi ngokwenene utitshala kwaye akazi ngokuphila kwakhe. Kunokwenzeka ukuba utshatile okanye udibana nomntu. Yaye ukuziphatha kwakho kuya kubangela ukungqubuzana nentanda yakhe, kuba iya kukuva malunga nawe. Ewe, abanye banokucinga ukuba imeko enjalo, ngokuchaseneyo, iya kunceda ukuba utitshala abe ngowakhe, kodwa ungalokothi ulibale ukuba kwintlungu yomntu o, kunzima kangakanani ukwakha ulonwabo. Ngoko musa ukudala iimeko ezinjalo, kuba yonke into inokukhokelela ekubeni inotitshala akuthandi, kodwa uya kuthiya. Zama ukugcina zonke iimvakalelo zakho, musa ukukhawuleza kwaye ungazami ukunqoba intliziyo yothisha ngosuku olunye. Ukuba awunako ukukhawuleza kwaye ukuba, ngokubalulekayo, le nsizwa inesihe kuwe, ngoko kuya kwenzeka ukuba kungekudala uza kuba ngumtshato ovuyayo.

Akukho nto

Amanye amantombazana ahlaselwa ngenxa yeyona nto yokuwa nothando notitshala. Bacinga ukuba benza into embi, engalunganga. Enyanisweni, ngengqondo yabo akukho nto engaqhelekanga kwaye engaqhelekanga, ngokuqinisekileyo, ayiyi kuba yinto engathandekiyo. Ukuba uyamthanda utitshala, nangona xa ebonakala ekhulile kunako, kuthetha kuphela oko ubona kulo mntu, into ongayiboni kwabanye abantu okanye ukumnika nje iimpawu ezinjalo. Uthando luthishela lithetha ukuba ebomini bakho akukho ngokwaneleyo umntu oqinileyo yindoda, ngubani onokufundisa, ukukhawuleza, ukuchaza nokufumana isisombululo kuzo zonke iingxaki. Kungenxa yoko, ukubona indlela umqeqeshi esebenza ngayo ngolwazi, ingaba unolwazi oluninzi, unokuba nethemba kangakanani kuye nakwakhe, uqala ukuziva ukuba uyamthanda. Kodwa enyanisweni, ukuba awukwazi umntu ngokwenene, ngoko iimvakalelo zakho zithandana nomfanekiso ongekho ebomini bokwenene. Ngoko ungesabi ngothando lwakho, khangela nje ukuba uyinyani. Yaye ukuba uthe wayethandana notitshala, ke akukho mntu owakwenzayo ukuba uzame ukwakha ubudlelwane naye. Kodwa kwimeko xa uqaphela ukuba uthando alufumani, thola amandla okubuyela, kwaye ungaguquki ube ngumfundi oqhekezayo, onobuqili abavela kumabhantshi aseMelika.