Kutheni sizibuza yona umbuzo: Ngaba kuyimfuneko ukubonisa loo mntu ukuba uyimfuneko? Mhlawumbi, umba kukuba sinoyika ukuzityhila ngokwakho kumntu, ukuvula umphefumlo wakhe kwaye siyeke ukuba yimfihlakalo. Kodwa umntu ufuna ukuzingela umntu, ukuxazulula into ethile aze azigcine ngetoni ngaleyo ndlela. Xa sibonisa ukuba umntu osemncinane nguye okhethekileyo, kwaye sikulungele ukwenza izinto ezininzi, mhlawumbi uya kuyeka ukuxabisa umfazi wakhe. Emva koko, yinyaniso, kutheni uchitha imali eyongezelelweyo kunye nemvakalelo xa intombazana icinga ukuba uyona nto ibhetele. Yingakho abafazi kufuneka bafunde ngezikhathi ezithile ukuze bazibambe.
Ngoko, indlela yokufumana igolide kuthetha ukuthini indoda oyithandayo, kodwa ungacingi ngoThixo kunye neziko zendalo. Ukuqala, kufuneka ufunde ukumjonga rhoqo ngamehlo onothando kwaye ulungele ukuzalisekisa zonke iifom. Ukuba ngaba kunjalo, ngokuthe ngcembe kuya kusetshenziselwa ukuba ayiyi kukunyamezela ukugatya kwakho, kwaye iza kusetyenziswa rhoqo iinkonzo zakho njengento ebonakalayo. Ngoko ke, akumele ubonise uthando olungenamkhawulo kuphela. Ukuba awuyithandi into, soloko uthetha ngawo. Akufanelekile ukukrazula kwaye ungamgxeka umfana lowo ngenxa yezono zonke. Kodwa, unokuzithoba uvakalise amabango akho uze umcele ukuba atshintshe indlela yakhe yokuziphatha. Khumbula ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntu okhethekileyo wenzani, kufuneka uhlale ekhethekileyo kuye. Kule nto, akumele kube lula ukuba kufumaneke lula. Ngamanye amaxesha, kukufanelekile ukuziphatha ngendlela enjengeyayikhumbula loo mfana: nguyena mkhulukazi kwaye ngoko ke kufuneka udinga amazwi amnandi kunye neentlungu. Nangona ulwalamano lwakho luqhubeka ixesha elide, musa ukuphumla ngokupheleleyo kwaye uthathe yonke into evulekile. Kwakhona kufuneka ukuba abonise kwaye abonise iimvakalelo zakhe. Ungumntu, kwaye ngoko, kufuneka wenze okuthile kuwe. Kule meko, ayikho ngezipho ezibiza, kuba akuyintengo, kodwa ingqalelo. Ukuba uqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba uyeka ukuziva ukhethekileyo kumfana oselula - zithathe ngesandla kwaye ulawule ukuziphatha kwakho. Thina, bafazi, bathanda ukwenza nayiphi na i-whims yabantu abatsha ukuze bazive behle, ukuba bazive bekhethekileyo. Sipheka kuphela izitya zabo ezizithandayo, nokuba sithandi ukutya okunjalo, sizama ukwenza oko ukuze indlu ihlambuluke, ukwenzela ukuba izambatho zomntu othandekayo zihlaziye kwaye zilungele, ukuze azive ekhululekile kwaye ekhululekile. Kodwa, ukuba asiyi kuvala impembelelo, simele simise ngokukhawuleza. Oku akuthethi ukuba umfana kufuneka alambe kwaye ahlambe. Yonke into efunekayo encinane, kufuneka yamkele, kodwa ukuze ufumane enye into, umntu unyanzelekile ukuba anike into ethile ngokubuyisela kuyo.
Kodwa, ukuba umntu uhlala ezama kuwe kwaye enze konke ukukwenza ube nolonwabo, ubeka ingqwalasela, uyamkholisa ngemimangaliso, ngoko ke, unokumbonisa ukuba uyabodwa. Oku kwenziwa njani? Okokuqala, kubantu abathandekayo kunye nabantu abakhethekileyo, sinokuyilula into evuyisa ngokwenene. Umntu ngamnye unamaphupha kunye neminqweno, abayikwazi ukuyiqonda ngenxa yezizathu ezithile. Sinokubanceda ukuba benze okanye banike into ethile. Ukubonisa ukuba umntu uyimfuneko, unokumnika into aphuphayo kwaye ekhankanywe ngasentla. Ukuqonda ukuba uyaphawula oko akutshoyo, khumbula uze wenze kuye ngokuvuya, kuthetha ezininzi. Oku kukugcizelela into yalo emehlweni akho.
Kwakhona, le ntombazana kufuneka ibonise ukuba ikhethekileyo xa enenxaki. Ziyakwazi ukuhluke kakhulu: umsebenzi, ubudlelwane nabahlobo, ukuxabana nezihlobo. Kodwa, ukuba ubona ukuba indoda ixinzeleleke ngezinye iziganeko, ibuhlungu kwaye imbi kuye, kufuneka ube khona uze ukwazi ukubonisa ukuba ungumntu okhethekileyo kuwe. Xa ebomini kukho iziganeko ezimbi, umntu kufuneka azi ukuba umntu obalulekile kwaye uyabaluleka. Ngokukodwa ukuba ezi ziganeko zidibene nokungadibanisi ubudlelwane nabathandekayo. Xa sididekile kumntu okanye umntu edidekile kuthi, kukho uvakalelwa kukuba akukho mntu uyasithandayo kwaye akayithandi. Ngako oko, kuyimfuneko kakhulu kunoma yimuphi umntu ukuziva ukuba uyimfuneko kuwe, ukuba uyamthanda kwaye uyamxabisa kwaye ungashiyi yodwa neengxaki zakhe. Ngoko ke, nangona, ngenxa yokunakekelwa ngqalelo kwendoda, wanquma ukuba ungambonisi ixesha elithile, ukuba uyimfuneko, kwimeko enjalo kukulungele ukulibala malunga nayo kwaye uyixhase ngazo zonke iindlela.
Kwakhona, umfana kufuneka abonise ukuba ukhethekileyo xa umfana eqala ishishini elithile. Oku kungafana nokuvula ishishini okanye ukubhala idiploma. Akunandaba nokuba inkulu kangakanani le nto. Kubalulekile ukuba lo mfana unzulu kangakanani kuye kwaye unjani ukukhathazeka malunga nokuba akanakuphumelela. Ukuba ubona ukuba lo mfana uzama kwaye kunzima kuye, soloko unamxhasa, uthi yena unobulumko kwaye unengqiqo, ngoko uya kuphumelela.
Mkhumbuze ukuba uyingqayizivele kwaye yonke into inakho, kuba ukuba kwakungenjalo, awuyi kumthanda kakhulu. Zama ukumkholisa ukuba unakho konke kwaye ungavumeli ukuhamba. Enyanisweni, wonke umntu kufuneka abe okhethekileyo kumntu womntu. Ngaphandle kwalokhu, kunzima ukuba siphila, kwaye silahlekelwa yikholo kuthi. Kodwa, ukuba umntu uhlala esikhonza, siyayeka ukuyixabisa, sithatha ngokungathandekiyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha siya kuthukuthela ngenxa yalo. Ngoko ke, akufanele uziphatha ngendlela enjalo umntu oyazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ungumgangatho wakho, kwaye awusoze wadumala kuye, kungakhathaliseki ukuba wenza njani. Kodwa, ngexesha elifanayo, kufuneka aqonde ukuba ungumntu okhethekileyo wobomi bakho, ohlala ukulungele ukunika isandla kunye nokubeka ihlombe lakho, kodwa awusoze uyithwala emhlane wakho.