Ubunzima bokutshata kwakhona

Ngokutsho kweengcali zengqondo, abantu baphinda batshata ngokugqithiseleyo. Oku kuthetha ukuba mhlawumbi abahlali namaxhala aseMexico, kodwa bazama ukufunda amacandelo amabi kunye namacandelo abo abakhethiweyo abatsha okanye abakhethiweyo ngaphambi kokuba bakhethe ukuhlala kunye. Kodwa ke ukwesaba kwabantu abanjalo akunalo isizathu kunye nokuzama iinombolo ezimbini ezininzi.


Uthando olungapheliyo
Umtshato unokutshatyalaliswa, kwaye iimvakalelo zinokuphila. Kwimeko engafanelekanga, iingcebiso ezinjengokuthi "musa ukulila" (tshala, ulilahle ngaphandle kwentloko yakho), "zifumane enye," zibonwa njengesikhokelo sokuthatha isenzo, kwaye malunga nomhla olandelayo emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kukho ukuqala ukubuyela kwintlanganiso, kunye nantoni na i-spy-spy, xhoma kwiingxoxo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwenzela ukuba ugxininise intlungu, ubuhlobo obunzulu bubekwe kunye neyokuqala-"ukumthukuthela, umrhwebi."

Ngokutsho kweengcali zeengqondo, le ndlela ayiyiyo. Ukutshintshwa komntu omnye kunye nomnye kufakwe "ubomi obathathu". Uza kufana nabalingani - ngokuqinisekileyo, kungekhona ukuthanda isibini, ungathandwa. Ukongeza, umngcipheko wokutshintshela imodeli yobudlelwane obudlulileyo kumanyano omtsha mkhulu. Ngokukodwa kuyiphutha ukutshata ngaphandle kwempindezelo - uya kuthi uziphathe kakubi. Ukuhlambalahla ngokufihlakeleyo kukhokelela kwizifo ze-psychosomatic, umzekelo, i-VSD, isimo sengqondo. Uthando oluthandwayo luseyindlela yokwenza izilwanyana: ukusuka kwi-cigarettes kunye notywala, intanethi okanye imidlalo yekhompyutha. Ngoko sizama ukuphuma kwiingxaki kwezinye iimeko. Ulwalamano lokugqibela lufanele lube nolwazi ukuze lulahleke iimvakalelo zangaphambili. Akumangalisi ukuba bathi: "Ukuqhathaniswa kukufa okufutshane." Kufuneka ufumane intlungu, zinike ithuba lokuba yedwa, ukhale, uhlupheke. Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani? Omnye kunye nenyanga banele, kodwa umntu uya kufuna iminyaka emininzi. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukugqiba ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo ukuze uqalise ezintsha. Into ephambili akuyikuthobela (abanye), kodwa phulaphula (ngokwakho). Abantwana baphulaphule, kwaye abadala ngokwabo benza izigqibo kwaye baxanduva lwezenzo zabo.

Ufuna uncedo
Umntu wesibini (wesithathu, wesine) - umthandi ofanayo ukusela, umkhohlisi okanye umveleli, njengowokuqala? Uyakhupha yonke into kwindawo yakho, nangona isithunzi somlingani wakho wangaphambili senza ukuba uqhawule umtshato? Kungenzeka ukuba awuqhatanga iingxaki zobuntwana bakho kunye nosapho lwabazali bakho. Ngelishwa, akunakukwazi ukwenza oku ngokwakho. Ukuba umtshato omtsha uphinda iziganeko zobudlelwane obudlulileyo-kunengqiqo ukufuna uncedo kwi-psychologist okanye kwi-psychotherapist. Ngaphandle kwengcali, awukwazi ukuyenza kwaye xa iimvakalelo zangaphambili azikwazi ukucinywa, kunye nokuba uhlushwa yintyala, umona okanye intukuthelo.

Uziva unetyala
Ngokukodwa xa ushiywe yintsapho, kwaye iqabane elilahliwe alizange lilungiselele ubomi bakhe.

Kule meko, kunengqiqo ukudibana nentliziyo yokuqala kunye nentetho entliziyweni. Mhlawumbi usizi lwakhe luyintliziyo yakho, kwaye akahlali kakhulu ngaphandle kwakho. Kodwa ukuba umntu ngokwenene uyaziva ekhululekile ekubeni yedwa, unokuzama ukumkhuthaza, umzekelo, ukumdumisa, ukugxininisa izinto ezintle (ngaphandle kokunika ithemba lokubuya kwakhe). Ngaba ufuna ukumzisa umntu? Kutheni a Sekunjalo, awuyizihambi kwabanye abantu. Into ephambili ayiyikunyanzelisa into. Umthetho kuphela xa ufuna ukufumana uncedo kuwe. Kunzima xa iimvakalelo zecala zivakalelwa ngokuphathelele kumlingane oshonile. Lo mvakalelo unamandla ngakumbi ukuba intsapho ibe nolwalamano olufudumele, kwaye ukufa kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza. I-Samoedstvo ingaqala ukusuka kwingcamango yomtshato omtsha okanye inombolo. Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa ukuba ziqale ubudlelwane obunzulu nangaphambi kweminyaka emithathu emva kokulahleka. I-psyche yabantu ilungelelaniswe kangangokuba ngomnyaka wokuqala wokuba ngumhlolokazi umntu usebenza ngokukhawuleza kwimicimbi kunye neemeko ezihambelana nomlingane ohamba naye. Ngomnyaka wesibini intlungu idibene. Kwaye kuphela kwisiganeko esithathu esisizibulo esingaqala ukubonwa njengento yinyani, apho kufuneka idibanise. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba intlungu ide kakhulu - kunengqiqo ukubuyela kumculi.

Ngokutsho kophando lwezenhlalakahle, abantu abaninzi abaqhawule umtshato baphinde baqhawule emva kweminyaka emihlanu emva komtshato. Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, lowo uzikhulule kumtshato womtshato akenzanga oku, akukho nto inokwenzeka ukuba uya kudala intsapho kwiminyaka emibini ezayo.

Ndifuna, kodwa ndoyika
Unokuchithachitha, ubalekele, uze ufumane umtshato iminyaka. Emva koko, nto eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kuwe, iya kuba yintsikelelo. Njengekomityi, yahlakazeka yaba ngamaqhekeza amancinci angenakuhlanganiswa. Ngenxa yamava, abaninzi abantu abaqhawule umtshato baye bekhatyelwa ukuba bangene ebudlelwaneni obunzulu.

Iphupha lenkosana
Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo sinyanisekisa iimfuno kumlingane wethu. Kwabaninzi, umtshato wokuqala awufundisi nantoni na ukuba umntu akafezekanga. Bashada kwakhona ngokuzithemba ngokuqinisekileyo: ngokuqinisekileyo le ndoda ayinako ukusabalalisa iisokisi kodwa igumbi kwaye lingalokothi liwele umda wendlu ngaphandle kwemifuno ye-roses!

Njengomthetho, ukuhlala kunye nenkosana, omnye kufuneka abe yinduna. Okokuthi, ibhinqa elineziqhamo ezifanayo: ihlakaniphile, inhle, inetalente, ikulungele kakuhle, kunye nenkosikazi enhle kakhulu, kwaye ingcono kunazo zonke ukunyamekela abantwana, nokwenza umsebenzi, ukufumana ubomi ... Konke oku ngexesha elifanayo! Vumelani ngokunyanisekileyo: ngaba ulungile? Ngoko ke ulindele ntoni oku kusuka kukhethiweyo wakho?

Umbuzo wabantwana Mhlawumbi, enye yezona zihlandlo ezibalulekileyo zomtshato olandelayo zivela kwiqabane lokuqala. Abasetyhini bahlala benza ezimbini iimpazamo ezinkulu. Okokuqala, oomama bayaqiniseka ukuba umyeni omtsha umele amthande umntwana wakhe ngaphandle koyise wangempela. Okwesibini, ayikwazi ukuqondisa ubudlelwane babantwana-babo kunye nabantwana bomtshato omtsha-ngendlela efanelekileyo.

Kubalulekile ukucacisa ngokucacileyo ukuba wena nomntwana wakho ngabantu abahlukeneyo. Ngoko ke, ungalindeli ukuba iqabane lakho elitsha liyakuthanda umntwana wakho ngokungathi uyakhe. Kwakhona, umntu akanako ukucinga ukuba ukuba indoda entsha ingenayo imvakalelo enamandla kwintsimi yakho, ngoko akayi kuziva kuwe. Amadoda ayenqwenela ukuthandana nabantwana babanye abantu, yinto yabo. Kwaye ke wakho umtsha omtsha unokuba ngumntwana ongokoqobo kumntwana (funda: umhlobo nomcebisi). Yaye yonke into enokuyifuna kuye inentlonelo nomoya onobubele kumntwana okanye intombi yakho.

Ladies and Gentlemen
Kwaye kubameli be-half half weakness of humanity, kunye nesondo esomeleleyo, umtshato wesibini, okwesibini, inombolo yesibini ... Kuyintando yomlingane okwangoku ukuba uthelekise kunye nabangaphambili, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ulangazelela amaxesha adlulileyo, ukukhumbula izinto ezintle kuzo bekunjalo. Kodwa kukho ukungafani. Abantwana, ngokomthetho, bahlale kunye nonina. Indoda, ukuze ikwazi ukuthetha nabantwana bakhe, iyanyanzelekile ukuba idlale ngemithetho yomnye umntu, iguqule kwisigqibo senkundla okanye phantsi kweshedyuli yomfazi wayo wangaphambili. Abasetyhini banyanzeliswa ukuba badibanise ubudlelwane phakathi komntwana, uyise kunye nomyeni wakhe omtsha ukwenzela ukuba iingcuka zizele, kwaye izimvu zikhuselekile: akukho mntu uphukisayo, engabi nomona okanye osizi. Bonisa ubulumko kunye nokutya. Okokuqala, cwangcisa ngokucacileyo ixesha lokunxibelelana phakathi komlingane wangaphambili kunye nomntwana. Ngexesha elimisiweyo uza kumxelela ukuba ngoku unobomi bakho, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ufundise ukuba utyelele umntwana rhoqo ukuba angayivumi ukuntshatyalaliswa nguyise. Okwesibini, akufanele ucele ukuba iqabane elitsha libe ngunyana okanye intombi yakho okwesihlandlo sesibini ubawo. Kwanele ukuba wayeyindoda engumntanam.

Ngokuqhelekileyo, phakathi kwabaphumeleli kwimitshato yangaphambili, ukukhuphisana, ikakhulukazi ukuba ngaba malunga nobudala obufanayo. Wonke umntu unomona ngomzali wakhe, efuna ukuziqwalasela. Abantwana banokuziphindezela. Umntwana omdala uphila kwakhona kumtshato wokuqala, xa umntakwabo okanye udadewabo ezalwa. Unokuziva uziva ungakhululekile, ucaphukile, ingakumbi ukuba ulwalamano lwakhe kunye noyise wakhe wesibini aluyilo. (Isimo sombukiso: ungumama wesibini kwaye awukafumani ulwimi olufanayo nomntwana womyeni wakho.) Iingcali zengqondo zincoma ukuba: ngaphambi kokubeletha umntwana odibeneyo, uthathe izihluthulelo ezintliziyweni zokukhula, kufuneka uxoxe nomntwana, mhlawumbi ukuba wedwa, ukumnika ixesha elide, ukuba nomdla kwizinto ezithandwayo, umculo ophulaphulayo, njalo njalo. Ngendlela, izipho, ezibiza kakhulu, azibala! Ukuba awukwazi ukufezekisa ukuvisisana, kukulungele ukuphendukela kwesazi sengqondo. Kwaye ukhethwa ngokukhawuleza, kude kube yinkqubela kwintsapho yakho iye yahamba.