Indlela yokwenza ukuze umntwana othandekayo nomntwana onqwenele abe neentsapho ezonwabile ngokupheleleyo kunye nabazali bobabini? Ngoko akazange afunde ukuba "umtshato" ungubani?
Umsebenzi unzima, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu ukuzama ukuqonda, usebenze imigca yokuziphatha kwiimeko ezingaqhelekanga kunye neentlobo zobomi, sifunde indlela yokubonisa iingxelo zabo kunye namabango ngendlela echanekileyo, ehloniphekileyo neqondakalayo. Ukulwa neengxaki zeengqondo zentsapho eselula kuya kuhamba kunye nokufunyanwa kunye nophuhliso lwezakhono kunye namava ekunyamekeleni umntwana. Kwimeko enjalo yokuziphendulela, akukho mntu uya kunika, indima yabazali kunye nempumelelo kwiintlalontle zentsapho kufuneka ihambe ngokukhawuleza.
Enyanisweni, kunzima kuba oomama kunye noobawo abancinci ukuzihlaziya ngokwengqondo: ukuba umntwana wazalwa enempilo, kwaye ukunyamekela kuye akunzima. Iiveki zokuqala zihamba ngeenkuthazo kunye nokudideka, kwaye ke kuphela into eyenzekayo xa umama omncinane efuna kwaye enze umgudu ngokukhawuleza ukuvumelanisa nendlela entsha yobomi elawulwa ngumlawuli - ilungu elincinane kunazo zonke zentsapho.
Ukudandatheka kwePostpartum kusemva, kodwa kubi ukuba umama omncinci uhlawule ingqalelo emncinci womntu. Isizathu asikho kuphela kwisini, ukungabikho kwengqwalasela, umlingane unengqiqo enkulu kwibini, apho umama nomntwana kuphela. Kukholelwa ukuba indoda inomona ngomfazi omtsha. Kodwa oku akukrakra, kodwa ukuphazamiseka. Akayiqondi isizathu sokuba bayonwabile xa behla okanye i-croak, kuba bonke abantwana benza njalo, kodwa balala baze badle. Kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba imbono kunye nesimo sengqondo sopapa kumntwana asikho konke okunjalo kumama. Yaye akusiyo isizathu sokucaphuka.
Kule meko, kungcono ukuonwaba i-diapers yakho epheleleyo kunye nogogo, uya kuqonda kwaye aqonde oku. Kwintetho kunye nomyeni wakhe, kungcono ukubuza kuqala ngomsebenzi wakhe kunye nemicimbi kwaye uqale uxoxe ngomntwana wakhe kunye nempumelelo yakhe yosuku. Ukongeza, ukuba ufuna uncedo kunye nopapa, unokumbuza malunga nalo, kodwa isicelo kufuneka senziwe ngokucacileyo. Utata osemncinci makaqhele ukuphatha kwaye aqonde indlela umfazi aziphatha ngayo, uhlale elalisa, echulumancisayo, uvuyo. Abafazi bane-biology. Ukuba isimo sengqondo esichasene nosana luyahluleka kwaye alukhathaleli, loo ntokazi uyayibona le ngokungabikho uthando kuye
Enyanisweni, ubaba omncinci akafuni ukungafuni, emva kokuzalwa komntwana, ufumana iingxaki ezifanayo zengqondo njengonina. Ubunzima kukuba umntu ufikela yonke into ngokwayo, uhlobo luniyile umnqweno, ngokutshintshisa ubulumko kuphela. Bonke abantu abasondeleyo bathi rhoqo umama omncinane ufuna ukuqonda kunye nenkxaso, kodwa ungakulibali ngoPapa, udinga inkxaso efanayo edlalwa yiloo nto. Emva koko, naye uhamba ngethuba lokuguquka, ukuguqula ubomi bakhe bemihla ngemihla kwizinga elitsha lomthwalo wentsapho yonke, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu kuye kunomfazi.
Umama osemncinci makafumane ixesha lokuphumla kwakhe, aphelise yonke into engxamisekileyo, kwaye kukho izinto ezinjalo, kufuneka ukhangele ngokukhawuleza, kwaye intlanganiso yomyeni evela emsebenzini iya kugcwaba uvuyo. Inketho efanelekileyo iya kuba ukuba ishishini elichasiweyo liye lafudukela kusihlwa, kwaye nangona umama exakekile kunye nopapa uya kuba nexesha lokuthetha nomntwana.
Emva kokuzalwa komntwana, ukuxazulula iingxaki zesini kuhlala kwindawo ebalulekileyo kwintsapho. Enyanisweni, ngemini umfazi omncinci uyaphelile kwaye ngokuhlwa, usele lemon, kodwa akukho nto kumvimbela ukuba axelele umyeni wakhe ukuba nguyena kuphela, ofunayo kwaye uyathandwa, ukumbumbana nokumanga, endaweni yokumangalisa. Umyeni kufuneka athethe ngothando lwakhe kuye rhoqo ngangokunokwenzeka, ukuba umbulele ngomntwana onobuchule. Iimeko eziqhelekileyo apho umlingane ehlahlisa khona ukutshatyalaliswa komyeni wakhe, ukuziva, kuba uyazinikela umntwana, kwaye "umsebenzi wokudibanisa" awunaso ixesha kunye nomnqweno. Kodwa ukutshatyalaliswa kungekudala okanye kamva kuya kutshabalalisa umtshato. Ukongezelela, umama omncinane uya kubuya ebomini obukhuselekileyo kuluntu, kwaye ngoko umbuzo, ngaba uyafuna 'ukuziphindezela'?
Ngaphambili, indima yabatshati yayingatshintshi iminyaka emininzi, isizukulwana esidala sithatha inxaxheba kubomi bentsha, izalisekisa ubomi babo ngeengcebiso ezingapheliyo kunye nokuncedisa ukukhululeka. Akukho zikholo zexesha elidlulileyo, ngoku kungaba nguyise kwikhefu lokubeleka, unokwenza umsebenzi wakhe wendlu. Kwaye akuyi kumangalisa oku.