Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, kwenzeka, uneminyaka engama-30 ubudala kwaye utshata okokuqala. Yamkele ukuvuyisana kwethu, kodwa khumbula ukuba umtshato emva kweminyaka engama-30 ngumcimbi obalulekileyo, kwaye unobunzima bawo. Siza kuthetha ngazo zonke iingxaki kunye nomdla womtshato emva kweminyaka engama-30.
Iingxaki emva kweminyaka engama-30
Isangqa soqhagamshelwano kunye nobudala buyehla, kwaye xa ungahambisani nokuphila ngendlela efanelekileyo, imeko yakho yintombazana embalwa, engatshatanga, okanye abo bahlala ezikolweni kunye nabo basebenza nabo. Ngoko ukukhangela umviwa kubayeni kuba nzima kakhulu. Inkwenkwe yezihlobo zikhokelela kwinto yokuba ibhinqa lijonga kumntu ngamnye ngamehlo avuthayo, ukuziphatha kwakhe kubonisa isifiso esinomdla sokutshata. Kwaye konke oku kunzima ukukhangela.
Kodwa ukuba ujamelana neengongoma ezibini: unobomi obutyebi, awufumani ukungabikho kwamakhondo, izalamane aziyikuphi na uxinzelelo kuwe. Umtshato wakho ekugqibeleni uye wenziwa, kodwa ngoku uqala ukuphumla, phambi kweengxaki zobomi bentsapho.
Ubomi bobabini obusisiseko kunye nendlela yenu yokuphila, kunye nemikhwa yenu. Unokuhlala kunye? Emva kwakho konke, esinye isiqingatha sobomi sele sisisetyenziselwe ukuziphilela wena kunye nesinye, kwaye ngoku ungabini. Ngaba unako ukubekezelela iingxaki zemihla ngemihla kunye nokungaphumeleli komnye nomnye? Ngaba uya kuba nomonde ukuvala amehlo akho kuzo zonke izinto ezincinane uze uzibeke?
Enye inzuzo emtshatweni emva kweminyaka engama-30 ngumlinganiselo wobudala phakathi kwesibini esitshatileyo kunye nabazali bakho. Ngenxa yoko, ingxaki yabantwana kunye noobawo iya kukhula.
Njengomnye umtshato, umtshato wakho emva kweminyaka engama-30, ucinga ukuba uza kuba nomntwana osemva. Kwaye ukuba ufuna umntwana omnye? Emva kwakho konke, xa uneminyaka yobudala, amathuba okuba nomntwana onempilo, ngakumbi okwesibini, anciphise. Kuya kufuneka ucwangcise ikhefu lesibini lokubeleka, emva kokuqala emva kokuqala.
Iiplato zomtshato emva kweminyaka engama-30
Ukuba awunamathelisi kakhulu kwiimigodi zomtshato osekupheleni, ke ezi zilandelayo zichazwe ndawonye. Emtshatweni, abantu abaneminyaka ephakathi-beni bangena ngokugqithisileyo. Kwaye apha kwimitshato ekhoyo sele ingekho imvakalelo, kodwa ukubala okunzulu, usuyazi isizathu sokuba bakhetha le ndoda kubayeni kunye noko kukulindela emtshatweni.
Ukuba uvale amehlo akho kwiingxaki ezincinane zomnye, hamba ukudibanisa, ngoko awuyikrele kakhulu iingxaki zobomi bentsapho. Uyavuma omnye nomnye. Uyeka ukuxabana ngaphezu kwezinto ezincitshisiweyo, ukhathazekile kwaye uya kuthandana ngokuhlonela. Ngenxa yezi zizathu, ngokwemibare, imitshato emva kweminyaka engama-30 ayinako ukuhlukana.
Umntu wanamhlanje uneminyaka engama-kati, sele ekhona: indawo emphakathini, umsebenzi, indawo yokuhlala, imoto. Awudingi ukuphazamiseka ukufezekisa ezinye iinjongo, kuba sele unayo yonke le nto. Unokukwazi ukufumana umntwana ongenakuyidinga nantoni na, ungene kwilizwe lobomi bentsapho, ukhulule ukusuka kuhlanga olungapheliyo lwempumelelo. Kwaye nangona yonke into ingahambi kakuhle njengoko ufunayo, akudingeki ukuba uqale ukususela xa uhamba ngeendlela, unomsebenzi kunye nendawo yokuhlala.
Unokuzolalisa umyeni wakho. Bobabini kuni, njengoko besithi, bahamba, basinda kwiimvakalelo, bebona ubuninzi ebomini, kwaye ngoku bobabini bakulungele ubomi bentsapho. Akayi kubeka ingozi ngenxa yencwadana edlulayo kwicala lakhe.
Ekutshatweni komtshato kubantu abasemsebenzini wobomi ngokwesini, nayo yonke into iyahamba kakuhle. Mhlawumbi, unomnqweno kunye namandla, amava ukuba ungayitholi injabulo kuphela, kodwa ukwanelise iqabane lakho. Oku kunye nomtshato wexesha elide kunengxabano, iinguqulelo kunye "neengcweti" abahlali bafumana.
Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo, umtshato emva kweminyaka engama-30 uye waba nekwanele ngokukhawuleza: uye waphumelela kwindawo ethile emphakathini, utshatile, kwaye unomntwana.
Ubunzima bokutshata komtshato
1. Ukuba akukho mntu utshatile ngaphambi kokuba uneminyaka engama-30, into ephosakeleyo kuwe. Yaye ukuba umntu oza kutshata naye kuye iminyaka engama-30 kwaye engatshatanga, ngoko kufuneka ukhangele inkohliso engcolileyo (nokuba yindodana kamama, okanye umntwana ongekho mthethweni, okanye oqhawule umtshato). Lungiselela ukunika abantu ukukhuza: awuzange utshate, kuba ulungiselela ikusasa eliyimpumelelo. Kwaye akazange atshate, kuba wayekulindele wena, kuba usondelelene.
2. Ngobudala, kunethuba elithile lokutshata
Kodwa awucingi ukuba kunjalo. Wena ungumntu onomdla, ufunde kakuhle, ukhaliphile, ukhokelela ubomi obutyebi, udibana kunye nabantu abahlukeneyo, abakhuthele kwaye musa ukuyeka ukuzijonga nokubonakala kwakho. Kwaye ekubeni unamava, ngoko uya kukhetha enye yazo xa ubona kufanelekile.
3. Xa uneminyaka yobudala, kunzima ukuzala umntwana onempilo
Mhlawumbi, unyoko uthe wathetha ngokuphindaphindiweyo oku, kuba unomonde wokuba ngumakhulu. Zama ukumqinisekisa ukuba uneminyaka engama-40 uza kuba nexesha lokunyamezela umntwana onempilo, kuba uphilile ngokwakho, kwaye unyango lwamanje aluhlali.
Sazama ukuxelela ukuba umtshato uyisiganeko esibalulekileyo ekupheleni kwayo yonke intokazi, kwaye umyinge womyinge womtshato namhlanje uneminyaka engama-30 kuphela. Ngaba oku kukuxelela okuthile?