Uthando luyiphi indima ebomini bomntu?

Siyisipho sendalo, siyamnandi, kodwa singathandekiyo: sisenza isimo esifanayo sokuzala. Ukuba sasiya kukhetha ngokucokisekileyo kunye nokugxeka abo bavumelana neengcamango zethu malunga neyona ndlela, abantu baya kufa. Kwaye-ke yinduna enhle, ngqo phambi kwethu. Iinkcukacha zifunde kwinqaku ngesihloko esithi "Inxaxheba yintoni uthando kumntu wobomi".

Ubuso obuqhelekileyo

Kodwa ukuze i-alchemical retort yothando ithinteke, kufuneke ukuba umququzelelo wokuqala-intlanganiso kunye naye. Simazi njani lo mntu phakathi kwamanye amaninzi? Ngamanye amaxesha sivame ukukholelwa ukuba intlanganiso iyenzeka ngokuthanda kwamathuba. Kwaye izazi zeengqondo zikholelwa ukuba sikhokelwa yizinto ezingenalo. Uphawu lomntu, ilizwi, ubuso obusweni, ukunyamezela okanye ukuvusa ukukhupha imemori ekhulileyo yongxowankulu lokuqala kunye noxininiso olubi kakhulu ebomini bethu - ukuxhamla nomama. Uthando lusekelwe kumbono wobuntu obunzulu phakathi kwakho kunye nomnye umntu. Kwaye ngoko kwakusebuntwaneni: umntwana akaziva ehlukileyo, unye nonina. Ekuqaleni, andikho ngokwam. Ndikho sonke ebusweni obuthembele kum. Ndizibonela ngokwalo. Abathandana bavame ukuchaza indlela yokubona ngokukhawuleza, abaye bafumana kwiintlanganiso zokuqala, okanye ukuvakalelwa kwangemva nje emva kokumazi, "njengokungathi besiyazi ubomi bethu bonke." Kwaye akusikho isimboli. Ukuqwalaselwa kwenzeka. Ngaphandle kokuba siqaphele oku, sithandana nalabo abasikhumbuza ngabantu abaye bahlala nathi ukususela ekuzalweni kwethu.

Isiqingatha sesibini

Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwinkwenkwe ngobuso bomama, kwaye kuya kuba njalo. Iimvakalelo zeentombazana zenza utshintsho. Ekuqaleni, uthando lwakhe lufana nelo le nkwenkwe, lujoliswe kumama. Kodwa emva kwexesha, "ufunda kwakhona" kwaye uqala ukugxila kuyise. " Ukuba akukho ntata kwintsapho, indawo yakhe iya kuba ngumntu omdala ongena endaweni yakhe okanye ngomfanekiso oqokelelweyo owenziwe ngokusekelwe kumabali, iincwadi, iifilimu, iintlanganiso kunye nabantu ababaziyo. Kwezinye iimeko, kukho ukhetho oluphambene nolu hlobo: sithandana nalabo abaqala ukujonga behluke ngokupheleleyo kubazali bethu - okanye kubonakala ngathi bahluke ngokupheleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, nakunoma kunjalo, "inqaku lokubhekisela" ngumama okanye uyise. Ukongeza kokubonakala, imikhwa, iindlela zokunxibelelana, iimbono zibalulekile. Kwintsapho, umntu ufunda iipatheni ezithile zokuziphatha kunye neenkolelo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umama uyazidela ngenxa yomsebenzi kayise, ngoko kuya kwenzeka ukuba intombazana ekhulile kuloo ntsapho iya kufumana iqabane elifana noyise-ukuze ikwazi ukuqonda indlela yokuziphatha komama. Ukutshatyalaliswa akusoloko kuqobo. Masithi ubaba usosayensi onika onke amandla akhe kwisayensi. Oku akuthethi ukuba intombi iya kutshata isayensi. Mhlawumbi mhlawumbi, iqabane lakhe liya kuba ngumntu osomashishini ozinikezele emsebenzini wakhe, kodwa uyalibala malunga nosapho. Kufana nokudansa: sikhetha iqabane eliyazi into efanayo nathi, esinokudansa kunye nabo.

Ukufumana okufanelekileyo

Nangona siphila ngaphandle kwayo iminyaka emininzi okanye ngamashumi eminyaka, kwiiyure ezimbalwa okanye iintsuku kubaluleke kakhulu kuthi. Siphatha umlingane esiyifumene njengomntwana ongeyintsana kunina - umthombo wobukho bethu. Kuya kuthatha ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba umntwana aqale ukugweba abazali bakhe kwaye uyaqonda ukuba aphelelanga. Ukuwela emthandweni, kubonakala ngathi sibuyela ebuntwaneni bokuqala, silahlekelwe ukukwazi ukuqiqa ngesisombululo, kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo sifumana ukuvakalelwa kwintlalo epheleleyo. Sivala amehlo ethu kwiimpazamo zethu zintanda. Siyicinga. Kodwa ungacingi ukuba i-idealization is bad. Ukuba sithandweni kukufumana konke okusemandleni omnye umntu, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukudala. Umgama phakathi kwezinto nokuba yiyiphi into engekho enkulu. Siphila kwihlabathi lamathuba. Ndiyinto endiyiyo. Xa sibona kwesinye isidima somntu, kubandakanyekayo, simnceda ukuba athole amathuba, awazange akhankanywe ngaphambili. Kwaye ngenxa yokuba asikwazi ukwahlula phakathi kwethu kunye nathi (emva koko, kubonakala ngathi sonke singumntu omnye), thina ngokwethu sifumana okusemgangathweni okukhoyo kuthi okanye ingaba.

Ubunye obungabhubhiyo

Xa sithandana, inyaniso iyanda, zonke iziphikisana ziyalala. I-Infatuation kukubuyiselwa kwe-fusion yokuqala kunye nehlabathi. Ukucamngca kubandakanya "I" kwizinto ezizungezile. Emva kokuba siyeke ukubonakalisa ngaphantsi kwefuthe lentliziyo echanekileyo, siphinde siphumelele kwisimo sobunye, ukungabonakali. Ukuvakalelwa komntu onothando lwehlabathi kunye nexesha elifanayo libuyele kuthi - kuba imida phakathi kwam nehlabathi yanyamalala, akukho sahlulo sibe "thina" kunye "nabanye". Sifumana ukungapheli komntu, "I" yethu ingapheli ngexesha kunye nendawo. Andikwazi ukuzicingela kude nomntu endithandayo. Kuya kuba yithuba phakathi kwakho. Xa abathandekayo bathembisa-ngokuvakalayo okanye ngengqondo-ukuba bathandane ngonaphakade, akukho nkunkuma yezobuxoki kuyo. Enyanisweni ngeli xesha, ngokwenene, bahlala ngonaphakade. Kwaye ke ingcamango yokuhlukana ayinakuxolisa, njengengcamango yokufa.

Ngokubuyisela iparadesi elahlekileyo

Kodwa ubuphakade bothando aluhlali. Iimvakalelo ziphuhliswa. "Ngothando, ngokungathi nxamnye nemvelaphi yeli xesha, i-transition of existence iyabonakala. Njengokuba umntu kufuneka ahlawule ngokugqwesa ngeqondo lokugqiba, ukuhamba. Ngexesha elithile, kukho ukungathandabuzeki: oku kuza kube nini? Abathandana bokutyelela abanomdla, naluphi na ukutshatyalaliswa okubuhlungu. Kodwa ukuphelelwa yithemba kulandelwa ithemba: mhlawumbi yonke into ingabuyiselwa! Oku kufana kakhulu nobudlelwane bomntwana kunye nonina. Ubisi, i-weasel, ubumbano obupheleleyo. Emva koko bahlukana, umntwana ufumana ukuhlukana, kodwa ngoku uva amanyathelo omama wakhe ... Kukho umjikelezo, kwaye le mijikelezo yenziwa kwakhona emphefumlweni wabathandi. Ubumnandi, ukwesaba, ukuphelelwa ithemba, ithemba. Lawa ngamava abantwana, awanaso nayiphi na inxulumano nobudlelwane obunzima. " Uthando luvelisa iimvakalelo zethu zokuqala. Kodwa asizange sitshintshele kubo, ixesha ngalinye siziva njengezitsha. Okanye njengokwenene nokuchanekileyo. Basenza sifune ukuqala yonke into ukususela ekuqaleni. Ngaba ndimele ndihambe nomfazi wam olulandelayo emva kokudibana nomnye umntu? Senza ngaphandle kokungabaza! Ngoxa i-oxytocin isithintela ekuthunjweni kwayo, ingqondo ingathuli. Kodwa ngelinye ilanga siya kubona ukuba ukhethiweyo kwizinto ezininzi zihluke kuthi kwaye akanako ukwanelisa zonke iimfuno zethu. Yintoni ke? Ukupholisa, ukuhlukana nokuphila okungenanto ngaphambi kokudibana nomntu "ongatshatanga" omtsha-okanye sifanele sifunde ukuxoxisana, ukuxolela ukungapheleli nokufumana omnye umntu kuwo wonke ukungafani kwawo. Uthando nothando alufani. Kukho uthando, olungakhula lube luthando. Kukho uthando, alukhuli ekuthandeni. Unesiqalo esahlukileyo: unomdla ongaphantsi, uxanduva oluninzi kunye nentembelo. Mhlawumbi sinokuthi, sichaze ngokucacileyo i-aphorism eyaziwayo kaLeon Tolstoy: sonke sithandana ngokulinganayo, kodwa sithanda ngezindlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngoku siyazi indima yothando ebomini bomntu.