Uthando luzinikele kwiinkondlo ezininzi, imibongo, iincwadi, iifilimu. Kwaye kule misebenzi nganye yobugcisa kukho intetho malunga nothando umntu ahamba ngalo lonke ubomi bakhe. Kodwa ngaba kunjalo? Ngaba sithandana kanye kunye, okanye ngaba yinto ebonisa ukuthanda amantombazana abancinci nabaselula?
Uthando luni na?
Kunzima ukuphendula ngokuchanekileyo nangokungazi lutheni uthando. Esi sinengqondo ekhethekileyo esinokuyichaza ngamagama. Kodwa ukuba uhlala uzama, mhlawumbi umqondiso omkhulu wothando unqwenela ukulahlekelwa ngumntu. Kukho phantse isidingo sangempela sokuba abe khona. Kwaye akukhona nje ngokuqhagamshelana nomzimba. Okulandelayo-akuthethi ukuba ube rhoqo kwigumbi elinye. Ukuza kulandelayo kukuba kokomoya ngokomoya, memeza, uhambelana, uzive nje ukuba lo mntu usebomini bethu. Kodwa ukuba sithi uthando luye lwadlula, ngoko siya kugweba ngokuba kukuba iimvakalelo ezinjalo zinyamalale. Ngoko kunjalo, kodwa akunjalo.
Uthando luya kumaxesha ahlukeneyo, kodwa xa sishiya lula ukuziva, kwakungekho uthando lwangempela. Uthando lokwenene luza kuphela kanye okanye kabini ngexesha lobomi. Esi sivakalelwa kukuba asisoze sazilibala. Nangona sizixelela thina kunye nabo abasondeleyo ukuba uthando luye lwadlula kwaye asisayithandi lo mntu, ngokwenene kukho isabelo sobuxoki emazwini ethu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu uhla ngenxa yothando ngenxa yokuba ubuhlobo abubekwe. Isizathu salokhu kukuqonda ukuba awukwazi ukuhlangana kunye ngenxa yezinto ezithile ezibalulekileyo, okanye ngenxa yokuba loo mntu kwakungekho into ocinga ukuba uyiyo.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuyeka uthando? Oku kuthetha ukuba ubuchopho bakho bubambelele entliziyweni. Sifumana izizathu ezinengqiqo zokulibala umntu. Kwaye emva kwexesha, sesele siyeke ukucinga ngako kwaye siphile. Kodwa ukunyaniseka nathi, kwindawo ethile ekunyameni komphefumlo wethu sisenaloo mvakalelo efanayo. Ngokulula, asiyikuphuhliswa ngoncedo lweentlanganiso, ukubonakala okutsha kunye noqhagamshelwano. Asinakuzibonela ngethuba lokucinga ngalo mntu. Kwaye njengokuba uyazi, ukuba awucingi ngento ethile, ngoko kuhamba ngexesha. Ewe, iyaqhubeka, kodwa ayifuni kwimemori. Ukuba kukho isihlandlo, ukucaphukisa ngokwemvakalelo, loo nto iqala kwakhona ukuphuma. Kodwa kuphela xa umntu eqonda ukuba uya kutshabalalisa ubomi bakhe, ngoko uzama ngokukhawuleza ukuba anqobe ingqondo ngentliziyo yakhe kwaye angazivumeli kwakhona ukuba angene ngaphakathi kwesi sivakalelo. Oku kuchaza ukuba abathandi bokuqala abanokubonana iminyaka engamashumi amabini, bangenza iintsapho ezivuyayo, kodwa ukuba badibana kwakhona kwaye abanakuzibandakanya iimvakalelo zabo, baze bathande ukubuya, nokuba bavuke. Akumangalisi, kodwa iimvakalelo zothando zihlala kude nakwabo abo sasiqhekeza nabo ngenxa yesimo sengqondo esibi. Ngokomzekelo, indoda yayiphatha kakubi ibhinqa, yaza yabetha kwaye, yaphula. Ekuqaleni, inzondo nenzondo iyabilisa kuyo, kodwa ngokukhawuleza ayilibalekanga, njengokuba, ngokwenene, ilungile. Kodwa ekudeni komphefumlo kunesicinga sokuba lo mntu kufuneka abe khona.
Bathi uthando alukwazi ukulawulwa, kodwa ngokwenene akunjalo. Iyakwazi ukulawulwa ukuba akukho zinto zihlala zihlala ziphazamise iimvakalelo. Yingakho abantu bazama ukungabonisi nonke okanye ukunciphisa unxibelelwano ubuncinci nabantu abathandayo kunye nabo bahlukana nabo. Xa indoda nomfazi bangenza abahlobo emva kokuhlukana, kuthetha kuphela ukuba akukho uthando lwangempela phakathi kwabo. Kwakunesiqinisekiso esinamandla kunye nothando, kodwa kungekhona uthando. Xa umntu ethanda ngokwenene, akakwazi ukuhlala esondele kwintando, kuba iimvakalelo ziqala ukuphuma ekulawuleni. Ngoko ke, ukuba ukhule kunye nendoda kwaye umnike ubuhlobo, kwaye akayi kuvumelana nayo, ngoko uyakuthanda kakhulu kwaye uyakuthanda. Yaye eqonda ukuba akafuni ukuzilimaza yena okanye wena, uzama ukunciphisa uxhulumaniso lwakho lokulawula, ukuze kungabikho mntu omele ahlupheke. Kwaye emva kwamashumi eminyaka, uya kuziphatha ngendlela efanayo. Okokuthi, akuthethi ukuba kuya kuqala ukungahoywa ngokupheleleyo, ukuhlambalaza, ukuzenza ukuba awukwazi. Kungenzeka ukuba, umfana uya kuzikhawulela ngokubhaliweyo ngeeholide kwaye ekuhlanganiseni kwisitrato, uya kumncumo okanye awamkele, kodwa emva kwintlanganiso akayi kubiza kwaye uya kunikezela ukuvuselela unxibelelwano, njengoko uyazi ukuba abo balele emphefumlweni bangavuswa nanoma yimuphi umzuzu, kwaye bobabini akuyimfuneko nonke.
Ukukholelwa Uthando
Nangona kunjalo, xa simthanda kakhulu umntu, ngoko sihlala sithumela uthando kumntu olahlekileyo kwenye. Ngaphezu koko, siyazikhethela ukuba lo mnye ufana noluthando lwethu. Kubonakala ngathi simthanda ngenxa yeempawu zakhe, ngokuchanekileyo iimpawu zakhe kunye nokunye. Kodwa ebunzulu bomphefumlo wethu, sibona ukufana naloo mntu. Ngenxa yale fanayo, kunokubonakala kuphela kuthi. Kwenzeka ukuba bonke abantu abakujikelezile abavumelani ukuba umthandi wakho uqobo lwakhe uxwebhu lwangaphambili lwengqondo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, iintlanganiso kunye nabo esibathandayo ngaphambili akunakunobangela ukukhathazeka ngokomzwelo, ngenxa yokuba siqhubeka simthanda umntu ofanayo ngendlela efanayo, nje ngegobolondo entsha, mhlawumbi kunye nezici zobuntu eziphuculweyo. Luthando oluchaza ukuba kutheni abanye abafazi bahlala bekhetha uhlobo olulodwa lomntu. Okanye iintlobo ezahlukileyo, ezinokuthi imodeli yokuziphatha, ngesizathu esithile, iyafana kakhulu. Abanye abazivumeli bona bazama ukufumana kwabanye abo bawuthandayo. Uthando lwethu loqobo lokwenene, olunzulu nolomeleleyo, luhlala kunye nathi ebomini bonke. Ngelishwa, bambalwa abantu banenhlanhla, kwaye ufumana ithuba lokuhamba kunye nentanda yakhe kude kube sekupheleni. Ngokusoloko sifanele sizifihle ngokujulile iimvakalelo zethu, siqiniseke ukuba sizilibele ngabo kwaye siphila. Ngaphezu koko, sinokudala iintsapho, siyixabise intlonipho kwaye sinomuva wokuba kufuneka abo bahlala kwicala le-kemma. Kodwa ukuba ucela, lo mntu udla ngokuthi: "Ndiyathanda umhlobo wam (umfana), uyona nto, kodwa ke, ndiyakhumbula indlela endithandayo ..." Yaye nguye okhumbula imemori, uthando lwakhe lokwenene. Kwaye, lo mntu unokuba likhulu elinamaxesha angaphezu kwamaxesha angaphezulu kunomntu ngoku. Kwaye akayi kuguqula lo mfana oselula. Kodwa ukuvakalelwa, okunamandla kunye nokuvumelanisa konke, okwenzeka ngokusuka entliziyweni, kungekhona kwengqondo, wafumana ngokucacileyo loo mntu, okhumbulayo yonke impilo yakhe. Ngoko ke, umbuzo: uthando ngumvakalelo wobomi? - ungaphendula ngokukhuselekileyo "ewe", ekubeni ininzi, eyona nto ikhethekileyo, engayibalekiyo kwaye ayilibalekiyo yenzeke kuthi kanye kuphela.