Uqala ukuzibonakalisa engumntu omdala, kungekhona umzuzwana, ngaphandle kokuyeka ukuba ngumntwana. Ngamehlo akhe, uyazimelela, kanti ngokwenene yonke into iyahluke. Uyaziqinisekisa ukuba ungamandla onke, ngaphandle kokukwazi ukuba ubuthathaka. Nanini na isandla sakhe sithinta ipakethi yepakethi. Ngaloo mizuzu xa utywala ufika egazini lakhe. Usuku apho yena, umntwana, efumanisa iziyobisi. Ihlabathi elincinci linyuka phambi kwakhe kunye nobunzulu balo bunzulu-butshintsho, kodwa eli hlabathi lingaba lula. Okwenyani, okwenyaniso uThixo awunako ukuhlala. Unokuthintela njani oku? Unokukunceda njani? Kwaye ngokubaluleke kakhulu - yintoni isizathu sokunyanzeliswa kwesilwanyana kunye nendlela yokuziphepha?
Into ebaluleke kakhulu.
Zonke izizathu zihlandlo nje kuphela, ezi zimbangela: enye ayiyi kusebenza, enye iya kudibanisa. Ukuba kukho, kunjalo, isizathu esiyinyani. Ngokubanzi, kukho ezintathu kuphela zazo:
• Inzululwazi . Ngokuqinisekileyo, akuwona wonke umntwana obonakaliswe ngokubonakaliswa kwayo, kwaye ukuba umntu kufuneka ukuba azame kwaye le nto, ke enye ingabonakali nantoni na into enjalo. Umahluko kwimibono yezinto uzalwa ngokwahlukileyo kwezinto ezithandayo. Xa bebaninzi kwaye banempilweni ukususela ebuntwaneni, amathuba ambalwa ebusheni kukuba abone isiseko kunye nesimo esingasimpilo. Yingakho i-violinist-smoker okanye umdlali-umlutha ngumqondo ongekho. Ukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, isizathu sesibini asizange sifumane indawo yaso kule mifanekiso.
• Ukukhusela. Iingcambu zaso zingasemncinci, ukuba ngelo xesha kwakunqatshelwe, ukuba ngaba igunya lomzali lalingeniswa, kwaye iintlungu kunye neentlungu zobuntwana azizange zisondele kakhulu entliziyweni. Emva kokuba ukhulile kwaye wakhusela kwiimeko ezinjalo, umntwana, ngamandla onke omphefumlo wakhe, ufuna ukufumana inkululeko ekulindelwe ukuba ibe yedwa, ngoko ke, ngaphandle kokubuyela emuva, uqala ukwenza konke okuya kubangela ukunganeliseki nokugwetywa kwabazali. Mhlawumbi uyayiqonda ngokugqithiseleyo ububi bezenzo zakhe, kwaye ukukhankanywa ngokucacileyo ngemiphumo ayifuni. Yinto nje, njengendlela yomntwana, ayiyi kuyeka kude kube lula ukuveliswa kwesi sityalo. Kwaye lo moya ovukelayo unokuxhaswa ngabanye abavukeli abasindileyo ebusweni bobuntwana. Ngendlela, malunga neempembelelo. Zingabangela isisombululo esizimeleyo, egama layo
• Ukuxhalaba. Uluhlu lwayo luvela kwinqanaba "lokuba nenkampani" (xa umntu efuna ukuba nje ngomntu wonke) kwizinto ezinzulu "ekuphelelwe yithemba" (xa ufana nomntu wonke isicwangciso sokuphila). Igalelo kwiimpembelelo ezingekho emgangathweni ukusuka kwicala akuxhomekekanga kakhulu kumntwana kunye nendlu. Ukungakhathaleli ngakumbi ubudlelwane bentsapho, umdla omncinane umntwana uboniswa ngabazali, kuncinci ukuzithemba kwakhe, unobuthakathaka sakhe isidima kunye nokunyamekela kwakhe ukuxhasa iminqweno yakhe kunye nokungawunaki imvakalelo. Ngaphandle kwenkxaso yokomoya yabazali, umntwana unqatshelwe iqela eliphambili lokukhusela ezi zilingo - indawo yokuphila yethemba.
Njani ukunqanda?
Uhlobo oluthile lwamanyathelo okukhusela, nangona kunjalo ngoqobo-nje kuphela umkhondo wezemfundo okanye, ngamanye amazwi, abakhuseli babazali kwiintlungu zokuphila.
• Izibophelelo zentsapho. Ukuze bazive bona ngokwabo umntwana akufanele abe ngeendleko zolawulo oluqinileyo kubazali. Oku kungabonwa ngokuqinisekileyo kwindlela yayo ecocekileyo-kunye nezicelo ezihloniphekileyo kunye nezohlwayo ezinengqondo kunokuba zifuneke kunye nemiyalelo, ngokuqonda kunye novelwano, kungekhona kunye nokugwetywa, kunye nokuvuselela izigwebo. Ukufunda izinto ezisisiseko zemfundo enempilo akunzima kakhulu-kwanele ukuba uqale ngokufunda incwadi enhle yomzali ohlakaniphile (ezo zipapashwe!) Kwaye ungagcini imfundo yakho yabazali ukususela ngoku (kukhangeleka!).
• Inkululeko yokuba yiyo. Kuvela xa abazali bevuma ngokukhawuleza ubuntu bomntwana, musa ukugxeka okanye ukusola xa abantwana bevunyelwe ukubonisa ukunganeliseki nokungavumelani, kwaye zonke izifiso, nangona kunjalo, zingakhuthazwa kwaye zixhaswa.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uhlale ufumana "igolide ithetha" - ukuba ungangeni emlwaneni kunye nomntwana, apho uthando kunye nokunakekelwa kukhathalela ngaphandle kwemida. Kulapho, sele ukudluliselwa kwenkululeko kunye noxanduva lokuziphatha luhambelana nokungahambi nokunganakwa. Njalo khumbula: ukuziphatha komntwana wakho impendulo yakhe kwisimo sakho sengqondo kuye.
• Ukufumana ulwazi. Kuloo nto ibonisa ngokucacileyo amandla okuchaphazela i-nicotine, utywala kunye neziyobisi emzimbeni womntu. Kumele kube yinto emangalisayo, kodwa ingabonakali. Eyokuqala kulula ukufezekiswa ngumzwelo, kwaye ukukhuphela ngaphandle kweyesibini, kubalulekile ukukhusela ukucingisisa kunye nokuphawula. Okokuthi, izifundo kunye neentetho "ngesihloko" zinomphumo omncinci kunokuba kucinga ngemiboniso ebonwayo, eboniswa ukuba kungekho ebomini eyenzeka kwindawo ethile kufuphi, emva kweemiboniso ze-X okanye imyuziyamu.
Abazali abaphosakeleyo abazenzayo kukuba bathetha kakubi kakhulu ngeziyobisi, utywala kunye neicotine. Kwaye ngoxa "ukukhangela" umntwana uvakalelwa, kwaye ke unengcamango: "Ndikhohlisiwe." Imemori yolonwabo efunyenweyo igcinwa ngokungazi kakuhle, kwinqanaba lomzimba, kodwa yinto ethembekileyo yokugcina ulwazi.
Kubalulekile ukunikezela ngolwazi oluchanileyo: ewe, ezi zinto zizisa uvuyo, kodwa umntu uyawuhlawulela-impilo, ubudlelwane kunye nobomi. Abazali kufuneka balungiselele iingxoxo ezinjalo nomntwana wabo. Amagama alungileyo kufuneka aphakanyiswe ngabantu abanegunya kwiimeko ezinjalo - ootitshala nabafundi beengqondo, kunye nabo bavunyelwe ukuba benze amava amnandi.
• Igunya legunya kunye nomzekelo ngamnye. Ngaphandle kwabo, zonke ezinye izibhengezo azivumelekanga. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba uvakalelwa njani, ngombono wakho, ngamazwi malunga nendlela enye ihashe elithile elafa ngayo ngokulahla kwe-nicotine ephuma emlonyeni wakho, baya kuhlala bengamazwi nje, ukuba wena ubhemayo.
Uyakuphepha njani iimpazamo?
Kukho amanyathelo, ikhomishini yodwa ayiniki iziphumo ezilungileyo, kodwa iphinda iqhube imeko. Nazi ezinye eziyingozi kubo:
• Iimangalo ezingekho phantsi. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abadala bavakalisa i-adolescents into enjenge: "Ndibethe ukuba sele utshaya ngokucokisekileyo." Ukuva oku okuvela kubazali kumntwana akugcini nje ukuthuka. Incwadi kaJohn Gray ethi "Abantwana abavela ezulwini" ichaza umgca wezizukulwana-into engabonakaliyo, eyamkelwa ngaphezu kwexesha abazali abahlala kuyo, bebashiya abantwana indawo engaphantsi-phantsi komgca. Ubukhulu obunjalo bobuchule benza izizukulwana ezincinci zixhumeke kwizinto ezingokomoya zabadala kunye nokuphuhlisa ngokukhululeka iimpawu eziyimfuneko ebomini obupheleleyo. Kuphela kubazali ukugqithisa lo mbuso ngokuziphatha kwabo okungalunganga kumntwana - kwaye sele sele bephantsi komgca. Umntwana uthatha indawo yakhe, oko kukuthi, ngokwenene, uba ngumzali kuye, kodwa ... Ngexesha elifanayo unyanzelekile ukuba adlule amanqanaba amaninzi ebalulekileyo ekuphuhlisweni kwakhe. Akunakutsholwa ukuba oku kuya kumthintela ukuba aphile phambili, kodwa uya kuphinda alahleke kakhulu kulo mcimbi. Ukulondeka komphefumlo, nangona ulwandle lwabahlobo beenxa zonke - akuyilona intlawulo yezwi elivelele kakhulu?
Ukumangalela umntwana kukwaxhalabisa, ukuxhalabisa ngaye, kodwa indlela eyahlukileyo abayibona ngayo yokuqala neyesibini! Yinyaniseka nomntwana wakho, funda ukuthetha naye ngoncedo lweemvakalelo - zinika amagama athetha ngakumbi.
Iphutha eliqhelekileyo labazali lithintelo kunye nokunyanzeliswa. Isijeziso sitshabalalisa ngokupheleleyo umnqweno wokusebenzisana nabazali, kodwa ukuthetha nabo ngokubanzi. Emva kwakho konke, kumama nobawo, ngubani na onokunyamekela kunye nesigulane, ngokukhawuleza abe nguomveleli oqinileyo. Eli qhinga liphutha ngenxa yokuba lilahlela umntwana ngenkxaso yabazali xa eneengxaki.
Ukuchaswa ebomini bomntwana kuyadingeka, kodwa kufuneka kucaciswe ngokucacileyo kwaye ichazwe, kwaye ngamnye kubo kufuneka abe nemida ethile-ubudala, ixesha, indawo.
Kunokunceda?
Indlela echanekileyo yokusombulula iingxaki zolu hlobo kukhuthaza umntwana ukuba athethe. Kodwa nakubani na, akunakulungiswa okanye asongela. Oku kufanele kube yintetho ebangela umnqweno womntwana nomnqweno wokuziqonda, phendula imibuzo evuselela umphefumlo aze athathe izigqibo ezilungileyo. Kubalulekile ukuqala incoko enjalo kungekhona ngokubhalwa kweephoso zezingane kunye nokunikezelwa kwemiphumo yabo, kodwa ngemibuzo-abahlanguli:
• Ucinga ntoni ngecigarethi (utywala, iziyobisi)?
• Kutheni ucinga ukuba andifuni ukuba uyisebenzise?
• Yintoni, ngombono wakho, ndingakwenza ntoni kuwe ukuze ungabi nantoni na?
• Ufuna undibuze nayiphi na enye into?
Ukuba ngabazali bayayixabisa imbono yengane, ngoko umbono wengane uxabiseke kakhulu ngabazali. Umntu ongenamdla, engathinti ukuthandana kwengqumbo yabantwana abazali babonisa umdla ngomdla womntwana kwaye ngoko ke banelungelo lokulindela kuye iimpendulo ezifanayo. Kwaye kuya kuqalwa ukuqonda ngokuvisisana. Kwaye akusiyo nje inyathelo lokuqala lokusombulula ingxaki, kuba, ngokubulumko beminyaka yakudala, ngaphezu kwehafu yesonke iqala.
Khangela.
I-MENSHCHIKOV yaseRoma, uMcebisi ngeNkqubo yokuBuyiselwa:
- Naluphi na ukuxhomekeka kufuneka kubhekiswe njengesifo esinamacala amane: i-biological, yengqondo, yentlalo kunye nokomoya. Yaye unyango lufanele luqhutywe ngeendlela ezine ngokukhawuleza: unyango lwezonyango, inkxaso yeengcali zeengqondo, ulungelelaniso loluntu kunye nokubonelela ngamathuba okukhula ngokomoya.
Farewell.
U-Irina BORISEVICH, ugqirha-wengqondo, i-narcologist:
- Kulula kwaye kulula ukuyiphatha umlingo kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo kunabantu abadala. Kunzima kubazali bam. Baqinisekile ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba wonke umntu wenza into efanelekileyo. Kodwa iingcambu zeengxaki kubundlelwane phakathi kwabantwana nabazali, kwaye babuyela emuva kakhulu. Abazali bathambekele ekuboneni kubantwana into yokuba baqaphele ukuthemba kwabo okungazalwanga, ukucinga kwabo. Kodwa makube yinto-yinto nje yothando. Esi sinengqondo ekhethekileyo. Kwaye umntwana angakwazi ukubuyela ngokunyanisekileyo kuphela xa abazali bakhe beva le nto.