Ama-anecdotes amasha: Uya kuhleka iinyembezi

Akuyimfuneko ukunqanda iinyembezi ... Ngokukodwa xa behleka. Nge-rubric yethu ye-anecdotes entsha unokuhlala uhlala uhlamba ngokuhlamba! Ngoko ufunde kwaye ukhale!

*** Paris. Montmartre. Ngaphambi kokuba ukukhanya kwezithuthi kumise ezintathu: enye emva kwesondo likaFerrari, okwesibini ihleli ePegegeot, kwaye yesithathu - ngebhayisekile. Ngokuqhelekileyo bejonge ngeenxa zonke - kwaye babonana. Bakhawuleza baphuma emotweni yabo, baqhutyana baya kumana: - Chaim, usaphila?! Moysha, mdala! Sema, andikufumani! - Kwaye ungafuni ukushiya iOdessa! Ndiyakhumbula indlela owakhankanya ngayo noomama uPeret egodini lethu ... Nantsi intlanganiso eMontmartre! Abahlobo baxhamla, kwaye uChaim, owayeseFerrari, wathi: - Bahlobo! Uyabona eParis emva kwayo yonke le minyaka! Oku kufuneka kuqatshelwe! Ndiyazi apha yindawo enye kwi-Champs-Elysees ... Siza kuhlala siphinde siphuze i-Burgundy, zama ukutya okunokutya ... Lapha uSema, owayesesigodini sebhayisekile, wayenqikaza into encinane: "Oo, Chaim, njengokungathi awukubonanga oko ndafika!" - Sema, ngokuqinisekileyo, awuyakho, kakuhle, awuyi kudla, uya kuhlala kwi nkampani ... *** I-Atlantic Ocean, amanzi angathathi hlangothi. Inqanawa enesantya iphakama phezulu. Ikhefu livula, ukusuka apho iqela labaqhubi beRashiya bawela. Zonke ezingavumelekanga, kwiimvande eziqwengqileyo. Umgqibela wokushiya umlawuli: - Ngubani owehlile isitya kwindawo ekude? Ukuthula. Wonke umntu ubheka phantsi kweenyawo zawo. - Ndicela ixesha lokugqibela, ngubani owehla isitya kwi-console?! Ngokukhawuleza, enye inqanawa ivela kummandla. Ibhanti entsha, yonke into iyaqhaqha. Ivula i-hatch, iqela labase-American bamatshini abakhelwe kumgca omhle. Zonke izicathulo ziphoswe, iifenifu ezimhlophe zeqhwa ... Umlawuli wamanqanawa ahamba ngokukhawuleza waya eRussia aze aqale: "Kulungile." Kodwa eMelika ... Into eyenziwa ngumlawuli waseRussia: - Ewe, akukho iMelika. Ngubani owehlileyo isitya, ndiyabuza? *** I-arhente yokuthengisa yokucoca i-vacuum igqitha zonke iindlu zendlu. Uya kweshumi - kwaye ngokuzenzekelayo ulahla udoti phakathi kwebala. Uthi kumabhinqa: "Ndiya kuyidla ukuba ummangaliso wam oshukumisayo akayi kuthatha inxalenye yesibini ... Lindela, uya kuphi na?" "Emva kwepuni." Ngoku sexesha lesidlo sasinemini, sinentsuku ezimbini njengoko kungekho mbane.

*** Indoda ihamba edolophini, wayefuna ukusela. Uza kufowuni kwaye uqala ukukhonkqoza. Akukho mntu uphuma. Uyabetha kwakhona. Ukucima. Nanku, ubheka, inja ikhuphuka ngaphandle kwendlu. Uya kuye aze athi: - Ewe, ufuna ntoni? Inkosi isebenza, umfazi usemyezo. Kutheni udibanisa ize? Abahlali bayaphela. Ulala ixesha elithile, aze eze kuye, ekhangele. Uyabona ukuba inja imile kufuphi naye. Wathi: "Kutheni ungazange uphawule?" "Ndacinga ukuba uya kuyika." *** - Andryukha, ngaphezu kokuba intlanganiso iphelile? Ngaba ufumane nokulala ngokwaneleyo? -Aye. Ndandicinga yonke ubusuku. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukutshata ... - Woza! Uyazi nje kuphela iintsuku ezimbini! "Yingakho ndicinga ngaloo ndlela." Wafika kum izolo, wenyuka, wamanga ... Wandula uthi into ekhanyayo kwesikrini se-laptop yami. Ndikhoyo - kwaye kukho isihogo sentsholongwane! Kwaye awukwazi ukuqala kwakhona! Kwaye ke ndizama ukuyiqalisa, kwaye yile nto! Ndayisichitha ngokuyinxenye inxalenye yefuna ... Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwakuneeyure ezintathu, xa ndabona ukuba kwakukho ngaphezulu kweyodwa kwigumbi. Wandizisa ikhofi ngamabhasiki ... - Andryukha, musa ukucinga. Tshatana. Emva koko, thintela! Ngentsasa kusasa. Abafana basesitolo kwi vodka. Bona ipakethe ekhonjiweyo yamantonga kwibhotile (isabelo). Omnye uthi: "Kuxabiseke, bade bakunike amantongomane." Ixesha elide. Kwaye okwesibini: - Mhlawumbi, ukuba ukusuka kwidologi yayingaphezu kokuhlawula. *** Ngentsasa emva kobusuku obuthandayo. Ugqoka, sele emile emnyango. Ngokukhawuleza ubona umfanekiso wendoda etafileni: - Baby, ngubani na? - Hayi, ngenye ixesha ... - Woza, mntwana, sithandana, ndixelele. - Ewe, mna. Ngaphambi kokuhlinzwa.

*** - Isazela sam siyahlutha, kwaye ndakuzisa uxolo lwam. - Woza, uyazi apho? "Kwaye ibhotile ye-rum." "Nika, ndiya kukubamba!" Umama unikela intombi yakhe izifundo zokuphila: - Mamela, indlela yokukhetha umyeni wakho. Khangela, uyihlo uyazi yonke into malunga nendlu. Nasiphi na izixhobo ziya kulungiswa, ifenitshala iya kuqokelelwa ... - Ngoko, ngenxa yale nto ayiyi kuphuma, kuba akukho nto intsha endlwini yakho ayiyi kuba khona. *** Inkcazelo yesifazana: "Akayiphenduli umbuzo wam ngokuchanekileyo, ngoko kufuneka ucele ukuba aphendule ngokuchanekileyo." *** Umfazi nomyeni wakhe baxabana. Washiya. Uhleli ekhishini ngezinyembezi, akafuni ukumbona. Emva koko ubuya neebhotile ezintathu ze-champagne. Uwabeka phantsi athi: "Siza kusela size sithandane kwakhona."