Kodwa kutheni na amehlo akho ashisa ngovuyo? Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ngoku unesitsha, kodwa asiqhelekanga kwimeko - "Mama". Ngaba kunzima njani ukukholisa upapa osandul 'ukwenziwa ukuba uthando lwakho lwanele kula mabini, unomdla kakhulu kuwe.
Emva kokuvela komntwana, intsapho ijamelene neengxaki ezininzi. Emva kwakho konke, ubomi bakho "obungenamntwana" buhlala ebudeni bexesha elidlulileyo, umama uchitha ixesha lakhe kwaye unakekela umntwana, kwaye upapa uzama ukufumana imali ukuze unyana wakhe okanye intombi yakhe ibe neyona nto ibhetele. Ngaloo nto inqwenelekayo yokuhambela phambili kwiifilimu, iikofu, ukuphuma kunye nabahlobo kwendalo kufuneka kulibalekele ixesha elingenammiselo. Kwaye umdlalo ongathandabuzekiyo wokuzonwabisa uphazamiseka ngokukhawuleza ngumntwana okanye inqaku elithile lathandana noomama abancinci: "Ndoda, andinandaba, ndidiniwe." Ndingathanda ukucacisa indlela abantu abaziphatha ngayo emva kokuzalwa komfazi wabo? Endaweni yobuncinane ngandlela-thile ulahlekisa imeko kwaye ulandelele iintlobokazi zakhe ezizithandayo iintyatyambo, umyeni uyazi kakuhle okanye uyaqaphela ukuba umona lowo uthatha ingqalelo yakhe enkulu, oko kukuthi umntwana, nokuba umntwana uyamkela abo bobabini. Njengomthetho, indlela umntu aziphatha ngayo emva kokuzalwa komfazi wakhe, ngokuqhelekileyo ibangelwa yintlupheko yeengxabano kwintsapho, ingakumbi kulawo matyala xa umfazi ngokwakhe ufumana ubunzima bokudakumba.
Kukho uluvo olusasazekayo lokuba utata lukayise lubonakala kuphela ngonyaka wesithathu wobomi bomntwana. Kodwa le ngcamango ingathathwa njengento engalunganga ukuba umama osemva emva kokuzalwa uya kukwazi ukufumana indlela efanelekileyo ekukhuliseni umntwana, kodwa umyeni wakhe.
Indlela yokufezekisa ngayo intsapho kwakhona ilawula uxolo nothando?
Okokuqala, fumana inkalipho yokubonakalisa umfazi wakho ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba ngoku akayena nje indoda kodwa ubaba. Inqabile kakhulu umntu uyakwazi ukuqonda oku ngeenyanga zokuqala emva kokuzalwa komfazi wakhe. Izakhono zokunyamekela kwabazali kufuneka ziphuculwe ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye ziphuculwe ngokuthe ngcembe, ekutholeni umyeni wakho ukuba azive eyintloko yentsapho, waqonda ngokupheleleyo umthwalo wemfanelo kwaye waqala ukuziva enomdla wakhe ngonyana wakhe okanye intombi.
Kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile, oomama abaninzi, njengokungathi baholwa ngenye indlela engenakuqondakalayo yecala, bazama ukuthatha imisebenzi yabo yokuphazamiseka, kwaye abanakukwazi ukunikezela ngeminithi yecala kwiimfuno zabo. Luhlobo luni lomntu onokuvakalelwa intloko yentsapho, ukuba akazange atshintshe i-diapers, engamondli umntwana ebhotile, akazange ahlambe umntwana? Awukwazi ukuvuselela uyihlo ukuba akakwazi ukwenza le mi sebenzi elula.
Amadoda aziphathe ngendlela enjengokuzenza nje ingenangqiqo kwaye enganeliseki. Enyanisweni, banako ukujongana noxanduva lomama omncinane xa engekho. Ukongezelela, ziqaphele ukuba ngaphambili uyise ufunda ukuba yedwa nomntwana wakhe, ngaphambili uyazibona njengoyise, nangona ukuba uya kunzima ukuthetha nomntwana ngaphandle komama wakhe. Olu xwebhu lubaluleke kakhulu kubo bobabini: inkunzi iya kuqala ukuqaphela iPapa ngaphambili, kunye noyise, baya kuqonda kakuhle ukuba kutheni umntwana adinga ukunakwa kunye nothando kunye noomama kunye noomama.
Qiniseka ukuthetha nomlingane wakho malunga noko kukubangela uxhalabisayo. Yenza konke okusemandleni ukwenza loo ndoda ibone ukuba umntwana akayiyo inkani, kodwa ukuqhubeka kwakhe, igazi lakhe. Cacisa ukuba umntwana wakho akayi kuhlala ehlala engenakunceda, kwaye kungekudala uza kuba nako ixesha elide kulwalamano lwakho.
Khumbula ukuba abantu emva kokuzalwa komfazi abanamaxinzelelo angaphantsi komama ekubelekeni. Kuye, emva koko, le nto iyenyathelo elinqabileyo, naye unenkxalabo kunye neemfanelo.
Ubudlelwane kwintsapho emva kokuzalwa ngokuqinisekileyo. Ukubonakala komntwana akunakwenzeka kodwa kuthintela ubudlelwane balo mbhangqwana. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo olu dlelwane luya kutshintsha ngakumbi. Into ephambili kule meko kukukhumbula ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba abantu baziphatha njani emva kokuzalwa komfazi wabo, kuphela ngoku unokuthiwa yintsapho epheleleyo. Umntwana wakho ubonisa iimpawu zabazali bobabini. Uotata onokumncedisa angayonwaba ngala mazwi: "Umntwana wakho ukhangeleka njani nawe!". Ukuba umama uya kudla ngokubhekiselele ekufaneni komntwana kunye noyise, mhlawumbi oku kuya kunceda lo mva ukuba aqonde umntwana ngokuqhubekayo.
Nangona ungafumananga unyango olutsha ngesifo esingenakuphilisa, awuzange usungula idivayisi entsha, ungatsho ukuba ubomi bakho buhlala nganto xa umntu apha kuleli lizwe akuxelela "Mama".
Njengoko iingqondo zengqondo ziqaphele, abantu emva kokuzalwa komfazi bavame ukuziva bekhuselekile, kwaye umfazi, ngokuchaseneyo, uyaba nokholo ngakumbi, akhuphe isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ebomini. Umama kuwo onke amabini atyhila umfazi, wayenefuthe elizuzayo kwilizwe langaphandle nangaphakathi.
Uphando olutsha luye lwaqinisekisa ukuba ibhinqa emva kokubeletha - silumke. Isizathu salokhu silele kwiinguqu ze-hormone ezenzeka emzimbeni wonina ongumongikazi, okhuthaza ingqondo. Kwaye umntwana ngokwakhe usibangela ukuba siqokelele, sihlakaniphe, sifune kwaye sifumane izisombululo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.
Ukongeza, abayeni bethu banokuguquka kwengqondo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba baziphatha njani emva kokuzalwa, emva kwexesha elifutshane baqala ukuziqhayisa ngoyise. Ngokweziphumo zophando zakutshanje, kubonakaliswe ukuba amadoda akhathazeke kakhulu ngokuzalwa komntwana, njengabesifazane.
Ngamagama, ukuzalwa komntwana wokuqala kuyilingo olunzulu kulutsha olutsha. Kwaye akukho namnye onokuqinisekisa ukuba uya kukumelana nale mvavanyo ngozuko, ukuba uya kukwazi ukusinda ngokumomotheka zonke iingxaki eziye zavela ekuzalweni komntwana. Kodwa into ephambili, khumbula, yintoni eya kuba yindlela yokuziphatha komyeni: ngokuqinisekileyo okanye ngokungafanelekanga, ngoku kuphela usapho olupheleleyo kwaye unokwenza le ntsapho ibe nemihlali ngokwenene.