Bonke abantu banamava athile obomi kwaye abaninzi bazama ukwabelana nabanye, nangona abanye bengathandi ukufumana iingcebiso. Ngamnye wethu wachaza indlela abafanele bayenze ngayo, nangona ukuba uluvo lwabantu abasondelene nathi ngelo xesha aluzange lusithakazelise nonke, ngoko ke, saqonda isiluleko esinokucaphuka. Sinokuyithintela njani abantu ukuba bacebise xa singafuni?
Ngaphantsi kwakho
Xa sixelela abantu ngezinye zeengxaki zabo, kubonakala ngathi sifuna ukufumana iingcebiso. Enyanisweni, kwiimeko ezininzi, eqinisweni, umntu ufuna ukuthulula umphefumlo wakhe ukwenza kube lula, kodwa abanye abayiqondi nhlobo. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna ukucebiswa ngaphantsi, unganiki izizathu zezi. Kule meko, kufuneka uhlale ulingana nabantu abathule. Abancinci bancipha ngenxa yokufihla kweemfihlelo zabo kunye nokufakwa kweengcamango zabanye abazungezile, kuba abantu abaqhelekileyo abazi. Ngoko, ixesha elizayo ngaphambi kokuba uhlanganyele nemvakalelo yomntu kunye namava, cingisisa malunga noko uza kufumana kwixesha elizayo. Kwaye ukuba uyazi ukuba umntu ofuna ukumxelela into, uthanda ukunyuka ngeengcebiso zakho, bhetele uhlale uthula. Kuba ekugqibeleni, endaweni yokuthoba kunye nokuva ubuncinane ubuncinane bokulingana kwengqondo, uya kuba nomsindo ngakumbi kwaye awuyi kuvela kuphela kwimo imeko, kodwa nangenxa yokuba umntu ungene ebomini bakho kwaye waqala ukuzama ukuyivuselela ngendlela yakhe. Khumbula ukuba abanye abantu bayathemba ngokufanelekileyo kwabo kunye nesidingo sokuvakalisa izimvo nakwiyiphi na imeko. Ngoko, ukuba awufuni ukuphulaphula iingcebiso - musa ukudala iimeko owanikwa zona.
Musa ukugubungela ukungathandeki kwakho
Abantu abaninzi banenkxalabo yokuba bahlale becebise, kuba abantu abazungezile abazi nje indlela abacaphukisa ngayo lo mntu. Ngokusoloko sithe cwaka, ukuze singabakhubekisi abanye abonakala beza kuthi beze iingcebiso, bekhokelwa kuphela ngeenjongo ezilungileyo. Vitoga, ngaphandle kokuthetha nantoni na, ngokuthe ngcembe siqokelela isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kumntu onjalo kwaye kanye nendebe yomonde ingaphephekanga kwaye ihlazo lenzeke, kwaye umcebisi uyacaphuka, kuba uDazhen uyaqonda ukuba oku kwenzekile. Ngoko ke, ukuba awufuni ukuxabana nomntu kwaye awudingi ukuba anike iingcebiso, khawuleza umxelele ngawo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umhlobo wakho unokufumana into ekhubekileyo, kodwa kholwe yimi, oku kuya kuba yindlela engcono yokuphuma kwimeko ngaphandle kokungabi namdla okuye kwanyulwa kuye iqokelelwe iinyanga okanye iminyaka. Namaxesha onke zama ukufumana ngokwaneleyo kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo abantu ukuba yintoni engafanelekanga. Akunjalo na ukuba ufune ukukrokra kwaye ubeke abantu ityala nganto. Khumbula ukuba kwiimeko ezininzi, ngokwenene ziziphatha ngoku ndlela kuphela ngobubele bomphefumlo. Ngoko, umsebenzi wakho awuyikucaphukisa umntu, kodwa ukumbonisa kuye ingongoma yakho yokujonga kule meko. Kuyinto enqwenelekayo ukuba uvakalise izimvo zakho ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ungayiphuliphuli icebiso kwiinyanga ezintandathu kwaye wule ngoko wanyula ukuthetha into ethile. Umntu nje akanakuqonda into eyenzekayo, kuba uhlala umphulaphule, kodwa ngokukhawuleza waphendula ngokungathandekiyo. Ukuba uhlala uxolo ixesha kwaye uthetha, abantu abanakho ukuthatha ngokungathandekiyo kwaye banqume ukuba unento ethile yokuphazamiseka kwemiba, ngoko ke wanquma ukuba "uziqhekeze" kumntu othile, kodwa ngokwenene udinga ezi ngcebiso ngaphezu kokuba kwakubonakala kwasekuqaleni. Ngoko ke, ungalokothi ukwesaba ukuveza ukungazinzi kwakho ngokukhawuleza. Ngaloo ntoyiko, Umntu onqwenela ngokwenene, unokuhlala eqonda ingcamango yakho. Kodwa xa umntu enqabile ukuphulaphula, uthini kwaye uzame ukubeka isigqibo sakho, ngoko kuya kulungela ukuba ucinge ukuba umcebisi wakho ukhokelwa nguwuphi na. Mhlawumbi akuyona into yokuba ufuna ukukunceda, kodwa ngokufuna ukukusebenzisa kwaye uzame ukukuvumela ukuba uphume. Kungcono ukuba ungathethani nabantu abadala, kwaye akukho mfuneko ukuba usitshele indlela yokuziqonda ngayo iingxaki, kuba zikwazi ukuguqula yonke into ngokuchasene nawe.
Ukungabonakali
Ukuze umntu ayeke ukukufumana ngamaSoviet, unokuyeka ukumphendula. Kodwa ukwenza okungcono emva kokuba ucacise ukuba awufuni ukuphulaphula umbono othile kulo mbandela, kodwa akazange akuve. Kule meko, zama ukuyeka ukuphawula loo mntu. Emva koko, xa siphikisana, sichaza into, njalo njalo, nangona singafuni ukwenza oku, kutyunjwe ukungaxubuliseki phakathi kwethu kunye nomnxibelelwano. Oko kukuthi, umntu uqala ukuziva ukuba ufuna ukuthetha naye ngesihloko esithile, kodwa usifihle. Ngaloo ndlela, umcebisi uyangena kwindawo yokuthuthuzela kwengqondo kwaye uqala ukuyichitha, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Kodwa ukuba kukho nawuphi na amazwi kunye neengongoma uzakuphendula ngokuthula, emva koko emva koko umnxibelelwano uya kufuneka avume ukuba awufuni ukuxoxa ngale sihloko. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntu eqala ukukucebisa, xa ungayifuni, ungayihoxisi. Unokwenza nantoni na, nantoni na: qala ukufunda incwadi, vula umculo wekhompyutha, yenza itiye. Ekugqibeleni, uya kuthiwa: "Ewe, awuphulaphuli nonke." Ngaloo mzuzu, unokuphendula ngokukhawuleza: "Kulungile, andiyiphulaphuli, kuba kum meko yakho imbono ayikho into engathandekiyo kum." Ewe, oku bubuqili kwaye usenokukhubekisa umntu. Kodwa ngakwelinye icala, umcebisi ngokwakhe uyakucaphukisa xa ekuphulaphula ulwazi olungenasidingo. Akafuni nje kuphela ukuba uphulaphule, kodwa nokuba uyakwenza ngendlela ecebisa ngayo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyayiqonda ukuba loo ngcebiso ingakhokelela ekuxabaneni, kungcono ukucacisa ngokukhawuleza ukuba awukhathazi, ungathandeki, awuyi kuphulaphula into ekuthethwa ngayo kuwe, kunokulinda kude kube mzuzu xa iigulane ziphendukile kwaye uxelela umntu Akazange acinge kwaye akazange afune ukuthetha.
Enyanisweni, phantse elowo kuthiwa ngu-Soviet ngexesha elinye. Kukho abantu bambalwa abangekho banyukayo kunye neengcebiso, kodwa abahlale bezinika xa abanye bebuza. Kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu bazama ukunceda abanye bengakhange baqaphele ukuba uncedo aluyomfuneko. Ngoko ungesabi ukuxelela abacebisi ukuba ucinga ntoni. Kodwa ukuba ngandlela-thile ufumana ucebisi kwaye uva into enje ngendlela yakho, cukucekisa kwaye uqonde kakuhle amagama abo bathandekayo. Emva koko, nangona siqinisekile ukuba ibhunga lethu liyimfuneko, kufuneka sivumele ukukhetha apho umntu efuna ukwenza iimpazamo zakhe ukwenzela ukuba enze amava akhe kuzo, ngoko ke, iingcebiso zethu azidingeki kule meko.