Okokuqala , indoda ihlala ilahla umntwana wesibini ngenxa yeengxaki zemali. Uloyiko lokuba akayi kukwazi ukunika umntwana wesibini. Nangona okwangoku enomsebenzi ohlawulelwe kakuhle, le ndoda iyazithemba, kodwa ngokukhawuleza iya kukhutshwa okanye ezinye iingxaki ziya kuvela. Kule meko, ngaphambi kokuba uchukumise umyeni wakho ukuba abe nomntwana wesibini, kufuneka ucinge ngokufumana eyona nto. Ngaphandle koko, ukusombulula le ngxaki, ukuba indoda enye isebenza kwintsapho, kunzima kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba imeko efanelekileyo kakhulu yezemali ingeniswa kwintlupheko, apho abantwana abanakuze bafike ngexesha. Cacisa umyeni wakho ukuba unako ukugcina imali kumntwana wesibini, ushiye izinto ukusuka kwintsana yokuqala, kwaye unomnqweno wokufumana izinto ezininzi ezimangalisayo, kodwa ukuba awuzange ube nazo izinto ezingabalulekanga kumntwana okwamanje.
Isizathu sesibini sokungafuni ukuba nomntwana yinkomfa yezindlu. Akuyena wonke umntu ovuyiswayo ngcamango yokuba ibhedi iya kufuneka ihlulwe zibe zintathu, njengoko umntwana engenakho indawo yokubeka kuyo. Kwaye ukuba lo mkhuba uphinde waba ngowokuqala, ngoko indoda eninzi ayiyi kuvuma umntwana wesibini. Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukucacisa kumyeni ukuba akukho namnye obiza insimu yayo, kodwa kubantwana kuya kuba nako ukwenza umbhede wombhobho. Kwaye ukuba ulindele isisombululo kwingxaki yezindlu, ngoko unokuhlala nomntwana omnye kuphela. Ukuba indoda ingathandabuzi indawo yentsapho ekhulayo, unokwenza ingxabano yokuba iba nzima xa abantwana bekhula, baba ngabafundi besikolo, kwiminyaka engama-6, ngoko ngeli xesha kuya kubakho ukuxazulula ngokukhawuleza ingxaki yezindlu.
Isizathu sesithathu esivakalayo sokungabikho umntwana wesibini ngumdala womntu. Ekuqaleni uthi yena usemncinci kumntwana wesibini. Ndifuna ukuzihlalela mna, yibona ihlabathi, ukwenza umsebenzi, liye langena ekukhuleni. Ngokombono wakhe, konke oku kunzima ngomntwana omnye, kwaye kubini akunakwenzeka. Kule meko, umyeni uvame ukunikezela ukuba alinde kunye nomntwana wesibini okwesikhashana. Eli xesha liyakwazi ukudonsa, kwaye loo mntu uqala ukuzikhupha ekuthiwa usemdala kakhulu. Omnye umntwana ulungile. Kule meko, udinga ingxoxo enzulu nomyeni wakho, cacisa ukuba ukuba kukho umntwana omnye, kunzima ukuba uqonde yonke iminqweno yakho, ngoko ke umehluko, umntwana omnye okanye ezimbini. Nangona abatshatileyo beselula, kukho imimandla yokukhulisa abantwana ababini. Yaye ekugugile, abantwana abangakumbi, inkxaso eyongezelelweyo iya kubabazali, abantwana abaselula banokunyusa ulutsha lwabazali babo. Kukho nawuphi na, ukuba umntu uthetha ebusheni bakhe, lumele ukuba uya kuba nelokukhulisa abantwana yodwa, kwaye indoda iya kuba ngecala ngokusemthethweni. Mhlawumbi kulunge ukuba ulinde umntu ukuba "akhule," kodwa oko akunakwenzeka, ngoko ke xa unqumle ngomntwana wesibini, lungele zonke iingxaki zeentsapho.
Okanye mhlawumbi le meko: umyeni akafuni nje umntwana wesibini. Akanayo nayiphi na ingxaki okanye izinto zezindlu. Uwanele ngokwaneleyo ulonwabo lomntwana omnye. Ukhumbula ngokugqithiseleyo ukuzalwa kwamazibulo. Umfazi wam wayesoloko enakekele ingqalelo umntwana, umyeni wam wayengenaso ixesha. Ukhumbula ngokugqithisileyo iingxabano nomfazi wakhe, ezenzeka kwiintsapho ezininzi ezizalelwa ngokuzalwa komntwana. Kule meko, kuya kufuneka uzame ukukholisa umyeni wakhe ukuba avume umntwana wesibini. Thetha naye. Zama ukuba neengxabano zakho ezakhiweyo kwimiqondo, iimvakalelo - ezingabancedisi abancedisayo kule meko. Zama ukumnika izizathu zezizathu ezibalulekileyo ukuba abantwana ababini banenzuzo ngaphezulu kuneyodwa. Khumbuza ukuba akudingeki uchithe imali kwiimidlalo ezihlukeneyo, ezinye izinto ziya kuhlala kumntwana wokuqala. Kwaye umntwana omncinci kufuneka ukuba athathe inkulisa efanayo njengomdala, kwaye ngaphandle kokulinda.
Ukungafuni ukufumana umntwana wesibini kubangelwa kukuba umntu uyamoyika ukuzithemba. Mxhase, tshela ukuba uyindoda enhle kakhulu emhlabeni, ukuba uyamthanda kakhulu kwaye ngoko ufuna enye umntwana kuye. Yaye uya kuba nguyise obalaseleyo wabantwana ababini.
Ukuba indoda yakho isalindele ukuzalwa komntwana wesibini, ungadikibala. Khumbula ilizwi - amanzi agalela ilitye, unokuba nale ngxaki. Unomonde okwaneleyo kwaye ngokukhawuleza kodwa uya kufikelela kwiinjongo. Ukuba unomuva wokuba ube ngumama kwakhona, kufuneka uncede umyeni wakho aqaphele oku, mnike ithuba lokuba afunde ukuphindaphinda ubaba. Ngendlela yabesifazane abazizilumko, amadoda athembeka ngexesha, kwaye ngokukhawuleza balinde ukunyamezela okufanayo njengabafazi babo "ngokubamba amabini". Abaninzi babo bathi ukuba ngumntwana okwesihlandlo sesibini kuluvuyo nje, bafumana uvuyo olukhulu ngokuthetha nomntwana. Kodwa khumbula ukuba kwintsapho, akukho mzekelo ubuqhetseba. Usapho ngoko kuthiwa "intsapho", ukuba yonke imicimbi ebalulekileyo ixazululwa ngababini bobabini, ngakumbi umbuzo wokuzalwa komntwana wesibini.
Nangona ufuna ngokwenene umntwana wesibini, kwaye indoda ayifuni, akufanele wenze isigqibo ngokwakho, kodwa ukubeka nje phambi kokuba ukhulelwe. Akuyi kuba nezenzo kunye neengongelo ezahlukahlukeneyo ukusuka kwicala lakho, ziyakwazi ukwandisa imeko. Isisombululo esihle kukuba ulinde, kodwa ngelo xesha uqhubeke ngokunyanzelisa, ukuthetha ngengozi ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuba nabantwana ababini, ngokubanzi, bawulathise le nkcazelo ngendlela efanelekileyo.