Iisiseko zokufumana ukuqonda ngokuvisisana ngesini esomeleleyo
Ukuze uqonde indlela yokuziphatha nomntu, into yokuqala intombazana kufuneka inqume ukuba ngubani na kuye: inqaku elingaqhelekanga lencwadana emfutshane okanye umntu ofuna ukuhlala naye iminyaka. Kwimeko yokuqala, akukho mithetho ekhethekileyo akufanele ilandelwe, ukuba ufuna nje ukuzonwabisa - yenza konke ukungakhathali, ungayithobeli ingqalelo. Ewe, ukuba iqela liceba ukuthabatha inzala indoda, liza kufuneka lisebenzise ezinye izinto.
- Umhla wokuqala ophumelelayo ngowesiqinisekiso sobudlelwane besikhathi esizayo, ngoko thabatha ngokungqongqo. Ukuze ukholise ummeli wesini esomeleleyo kule nqanaba yokuthandana, qiniseka ukuphulaphula uze uthathe konke akutshoyo. Bonisa umdla kubuntu bakhe, kuba ukuba ulahlekelwa ibali lakhe malunga nawe, loo mntu uya kuqonda ukuba "akazange akugwebe".
- Nangona unempawu ezininzi ezintle kwaye umlingiswa wakho usekufuphi kwimeko efanelekileyo, akufuneki ukuba uchaze zonke iifom zakho kwiintlanganiso zokuqala. Khumbula ukuba umntu uthanda ukucombulula umfazi ngokuthe ngcembe, nyathelo ngesinyathelo. Ukufunda ngawe ngokukhawuleza, uya kuba mnandi kuye, kwaye uya kukhangela iphazili elitsha.
- Musa ukuthetha ngamanga. Ukuziqhayisa emehlweni omnxibelelwano wesono uninzi, kodwa khumbula ukuba ngexesha lomhlobo ode ulindele, ukukhohlisa kuvulekile. Kunoko ukuhlambalaza nokungathandeki ukubona ukudumala emehlweni omthandayo.
- Phantse sonke sifuna abahlobo abafana nathi emoyeni nasezenzweni zokuzonwabisa. Okufanayo kuya kumlingane wobomi. Ingakumbi umfazi onomntu unomdla oqhelekileyo, ungcono. Khangela ukuba lo mntu wenza ntoni ebomini, indlela achitha ngayo ixesha lakhe elikhululekile, mhlawumbi ukuzonwabisa kwakhe kuya kukukholisa. Unokuza nesifundo esitsha, unomdla kubo bobabini, okuya kudibanisa ngakumbi njengesiqabane.
- Ukuqaphela kuyinto intshaba yesimo esihle. Ukuhamba ngokuqhubekayo kwizithende zomntu wakhe ngexesha elifutshane kuqala ukumcaphukisa kakhulu. Nangona uthanda ngokunyanisekileyo ukuthanda kwakho, mshiye inqununu yenkululeko kunye nendawo yakhe kwaye ungakholelwe, uya kuwuxabisa.
- Ungesabi xa uqala ukuxabana ngezinye izinto kunye nomthandayo. Ulwahlulo oluncinci luyingxenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bemihla ngemihla. Kungatsholwa ukuba ubudlelwane obungenazo iingxabano buncinane. Into ephambili akuyikuyidlula ngexesha lokuxabana, ugweme ukuhlambalaza kunye namazwi ahlazo, uze uzame ukulungisa ingxabano ngokuthula kwaye ukhumbuze indoda yakho ukuba uyamthanda kakhulu kwaye uyamhlonela.
- Nokuba xa uqaphela ukuba wunqobe intliziyo yomntu, ungahlali. Ukuba nobudlelwane obuhle kufuneka uhlale unomdla kuye, uzame ukugcina uthando lwakhe, ukulwa nomsebenzi kunye nemvakalelo emitsha, ubonise iimpawu ezintle azinaso.
- Musa ukwenza umona kuwe. Ukudlala nabanye, awuyi kuzuza inhlonipho. Ngokuchasene noko, uya kuthathwa njengowesifazane ongenangqondo ongenayo imigaqo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha. Ukongezelela, indoda enomona kakhulu enomsindo unokukwazi ukusebenzisa amandla enyama kuwe, ngoko kungcono ukuphepha iingxaki ezinjalo.
Ingaba umntu ufanelekele umzamo wakho?
Siye saqikelela indlela umfazi okufanele aziphathe ngayo ngokufanelekileyo nendoda, kodwa kufuneka sicinge ngenye iphuzu: ngaba ummeli wesini esahlukileyo ufanele umzamo? Ngokusekelwe kuphando phakathi kwabafazi, uluhlu lweempawu zamadoda zaqulunqwa, ziqaphele ukuba iqabane lakhe lifanele licinge kakuhle malunga nokucebisa ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo kunye naye:
- Ukuxolisa kuthatha isikhundla esona sikhokelo phakathi kweempawu ezimbi kunazo zonke. I-77% yabesifazane abachongiweyo bathetha ngokuchasene nale mpawu yomntu.
- Ukunxiliswa komnxeba kunikwe ixabiso lesilivere. I-59% yabaphenduli abazange bafune ukubona njengeqabane lomntu umntu osela rhoqo.
- Ukulwa nobukrakra 38% yabameli bezesondo ezifanelekileyo bathetha.
- Phakathi kweminye impawu engafanelekanga, ukuhlaselwa, ukuchithwa, ukuziphatha okubuthathaka kunye nokunyaniseka kubizwa.