Ngubani unyana wamama?
Ngaphantsi kwengqondo yonyana onina unako ukufihla abantu abadala, abaqinileyo nababonakala bezimeleyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo abayiqali intsapho yabo kude baqokelele, nangona banokunikela ingqalelo yomntu onenkathalo, onobuchule kwaye onzulu. Abasetyhini, ukudibana nomntu onjalo, bayaqiniseka ukuba ekugqibeleni badibana neyodwa kuphela, kodwa ukudumazeka kuza ngokukhawuleza.
Amadoda anjalo ayingcinci, kuxhomekeke kwimbono yomntu, kaninzi ulaka, kuba abanakukwazi ukuqonda ukungabikho kwimeko apho bafumana khona. Benza into ebuhlungu ngokugxeka, izenzo zabo zisoloko zingabi ncamango, zibonakala zizenzela into ephosakeleyo ebusheni babo-inkululeko yokuthetha nokwenza izinto abazali abangazivumeli. Ukuthetha nabantu abanjalo kunzima kakhulu.
Indlela yokwahlula unyana womama womntu?
Ukuba umntu oneminyaka engaphantsi kweminyaka engama-30 engatshatanga kwaye ehlala nonina, le sizathu esichukumisayo sokucinga-konke kulungile na? Kwimeko nayiphi na, ukuba ukungathandabuzeki kungenele, kuyafaneleka ukuthobela ingqalelo ebuhlotsheni bakhe nonina.
Ngomama ogunyazisiweyo, ingakumbi ukuba wakhulela unyana wakhe yedwa, le ndoda iya kuhlala ihleli. Akathathi zigqibo, eqinisweni akanalo ilungelo lokuvota kwintsapho, yonke imibuzo ebalulekileyo kuye ixazululwa ngumama. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, le ngqungquthela iyacaphukisa indoda, nangakolunye uhlangothi - lo ngumzekelo kuphela wobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi ebone, ngoko kuya kuba nzima ukuvuselela. Indoda enjalo iya kuziphawula ngokuthi iya kubonisana nomama kuyo yonke ikhefu, izalise iminqweno yakhe kwindawo yokuqala, ilahleke yona, ukuba ibalulekile kuye.
Enye into embi kakhulu, ukuba umntu uzama ukujongana nemeko apho okuphambili ebomini bakhe engekho, kodwa unina. Ngaphambili indoda iphuma ekubelekeni, ilungile, kodwa iimfazwe zamandla abantu abadala ngokuqhelekileyo azipheli kakuhle nantoni na. Indoda iqala ngokubonakalisa ukwenza izinto ngenxa yonina, kodwa kungekhona nje kuye! Ngengqiqo, ubona abafazi besongelo kwinkululeko, njengeentshaba ezifuna ukuthatha amandla phezu kwakhe. Akaze avumelane nomfazi, akayi kuphulaphula ngisho neengcebiso ezinengqiqo. Ubudlelwane nomntu onjalo akuthembisanga nantoni na.
Olunye uhlobo oluqhelekileyo ngumntwana ongunaphakade. Unako ukudala intsapho yakhe, kodwa akakwazi ngokupheleleyo. Uya kukhangela ngokunyanisekileyo kumfazi wakhe oko wayekuthandayo kwaye akazange ahambisane nonina. Indoda encinci ayidingi ubudlelwane ngokulingana, uyadinga umfazi onamandla kwaye onamandla onokutshintsha unina ngandlela-thile. Ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda anqabe ukusebenzela, ukwakha umsebenzi, ukunceda intsapho, ngandlela-thile inxaxheba kwimpilo yabathandekayo babo. Enyanisweni. Ukukhetha indoda enjalo, umfazi ufumana omnye umntwana, oxhomekeke kuye, lowo uya kufuneka athathe ubomi bakhe bonke.
Abaninzi abafazi banethemba lokuba impembelelo yabo, ukunakekelwa nothando baya kuba nako ukubuyisela unyana wenina, bamguqulele abe ngumntu wangempela. Abanye baphumelela, kodwa abaninzi bahlala bedimazekile. Umntu omdala wayekho ngaphantsi komthendeleko wonina, ukuqinisa ngakumbi ubudlelwane babo kunye nomfanekiso womfazi onokuba naye. Akayidingi umfazi obuthathaka, oya kufuneka ukuluphazamisa okanye ukukhusela. Enyanisweni, nangona umfazi onomdla oqinileyo akaxhatshazi ngokukhawuleza amahlazi, amaqhinga kunye nentlekiso. Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi unyana ka-mama unamathele ekuphuhlisweni kwenye indawo malunga neminyaka eyi-17 ukuya kwe-20.
Into enokuyenza kuphela uzama ukuthetha nentliziyo enjalo entliziyweni. Ukucacisa ukuba abazali babalulekile ngokwenene, kodwa abanako ukugxila kwingqalelo ebomini, ukuba wonke umntu unelungelo lobomi bodwa ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwanoma ubani. Enyanisweni, amathuba okuba umntu ukhetha ubomi obunzima obunzima, apho kuyimfuneko ukuthwala uxanduva lwezenzo zabo, ukukhupha umama.
Ingaba loo mntu uyimfuneko kumfazi, nokuba uyayifisa - wonke umntu uyazigqiba. Маменькин u-sonny ngumhlobo wendoda engahlangane naye kwaye akafaneki. Lo ngumzekelo ophilileyo wento ekhulayo yabafana, abaye bakhuliswa ngumama onoxanduva, abanomdla kunye noxhalaba. Mhlawumbi ulwalamano nomntu onjalo aluyi kuba mnandi, kodwa banceda ukuqonda oko ufuna ngokwenene kubantu.