Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukutshatyalaliswa kwentombazana ephupheni kunokunxulumaniswa nezinto ezivela kubomi boqobo: umzekelo, ukuxabana nomntu othandekayo, okanye amagama eentsapho ngokuziphatha kwakhe okungaqhelekanga. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba unyuke kwihlombe kunye nokwahlukana, kufuneka ubone oko kuthethwa kwentombazana.
Intombi yam yandiguqula kwiphupha. Yintoni endiyenzayo?
- Iphupha elinjalo lithetha ukuba umntu ongenamdla akafuni ukulahlekelwa ngumthandi wakhe kwaye uyayika ukuba umntu uya kumthabatha
- Kwakhona, umbono onjalo ungabandakanya ukungakhuselekanga kwendoda yakhe ngamandla akhe, okwenza ukuba azive engakulungele ubuhlobo obude.
- Ukunyanga intombazana yinto enesilumkiso sokuba lixesha lokuba umfana ahlaziye iimpawu zakhe zobuntu kangangokuba umhlobo wakhe akayisebenzisi ngoku.
- Ukuba kwakukhona ingxabano phakathi kwamaqabane ngokuhlwa, loo mfana kufuneka avuyiswe nje iphupha. Kuthetha ukuba esi sibini siya kudibanisa ngokukhawuleza.
Ukutolika kweencwadi zephupha: kwiphupha intombazana ishintshile
- Ukuba intombi yakho ishintshile wena nomhlobo wakho, ngoko ngokobomi bobubomi kufuneka uqaphele umhlobo wakho. Inokwenzeka ukuba, lo mfana akayena umhlobo onyanisekileyo, kodwa umchasi.
- Ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kwenzeka phambi kwamehlo akho, ngoko ngokwenene iqabane lingenalo isifiso esincinci okanye nokuba nenjongo ecacileyo yokwenza uxolo.
- Ibali elifanayo lithetha ukuba esi sibini siza kuba neengxabano ezinkulu, isiseko esingabazithembi ngabo kunye nezicelo malunga nezicwangciso zekamva.
- Isalathiso apho intombi ithetha nentombi yakhe, kwaye ibonisa intsingiselo yakhe yokuyiguqula, ngoko ngobomi bokwenene isibini silinde ixesha elilukhuni. Baya kuba nokungaqondi kakuhle, ukuxabana ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nokunganeliseki kwintombazana. Insizwa inokuthi iphephe ukuphuhliswa okunjalo ngokulungisa isondlo sothando okanye ukuthenga nje into emnandi yintombi yakhe yentliziyo.
Ungayiqonda njani iphupha apho utshintshe intombazana?
- Iinguqu ezininzi zephupha zithatha icebo elinjalo njengenjongo yomlingane ongenamdla wokuba "uye ngakwesobunxele." Kwaye, mhlawumbi oku sele kwenzekile, kwaye lo mfana uyabuhlungu ukuzisola.
- Olunye uguqulelo lukunyuka kwexhala kunye nohlu lweentsilelo ebomini.
- Incwadi yephupha kaMiller ibhaliwe ukuba ukungcatsha kwentombazana kuthetha ukuba empilweni yangempela le ntombazana isilungele ubuhlobo bentsapho obude kwaye yicinga nokuqhubeka kwentsapho.
- UFrud ukholelwa ukuba ukubona kwiphupha lakhe ukutshatyalaliswa kwentombazana ithi amaqabane kufuneka athethe ngokunyanisekileyo omnye nomnye aze abelane ngokusondeleyo. Kungenzeka ukuba loo mbini sele ihlangabezane nokungaqondani kunye nokungavumelani, kodwa ngexesha leengxoxo ezinzulu baya kukwazi ukufumana iinkcukacha ezintsha malunga nomnye, okuya kunceda ukwakha ubudlelwane kwixesha elizayo.
Xa uguqulela loo maphupha, kuyimfuneko ukuqwalasela luluphi uhlobo lolwalamano olu qabane okwenene. Kuphela kule siseko unokukwazi ukutolika ngokufanelekileyo oko ubona ngexesha lokuphumla ebusuku kwaye uthathe inyathelo lokuthintela imicimbi engathandekiyo.