Ubomi Bemihla ngemihla
Xa uxinekile ngeengxakini zemihla ngemihla, xa intloko iqhutywe nendlela yokwenza isidlo sakusasa, isidlo sakusihlwa kunye nesidlo sakusihlwa, hlamba, uhlambulule endlwini, ugijime kwivenkile, uthabathe umntwana kwi-kindergarten okanye kwisikolo, uze udibane namalungu akho entsapho ozithandayo ngovuyo olumnandi, Kunzima ukucinga umama nomfazi onelisayo. Ukuphila kwimihla ngemihla, ubomi bemihla ngemihla kubangela impembelelo engalunganga kulwalamano phakathi kwamalungu entsapho, ukudala ukuxabana nokuxabana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ulwalamano olugqibeleleyo phakathi kwabatshatileyo, kunye phakathi koomama nabantwana, kususa ezinye iinkxalabo zemihla ngemihla evela kumahlombe abancinci abancinci. Ukuba ngumfazi ococekileyo kunye nomama - kuqala kokunye, yiba nguwe, kodwa ungakulibali ukuba ungumfazi otyumkileyo-onomusa, onomusa, onothando. Ubomi bemihla ngemihla kunye nobomi bemihla ngemihla, akukho mzekelo, akufanele kube ngumtshabalali wolonwabo nokuzinza kwentsapho yasekhaya elithule.
U-Elena, oneminyaka engama-26 ubudala (umama osemncinci oneminyaka elilodwa ubudala):
- Ndaphenduka ngamashishini "i-kitchen-washing-ironing," ndikhathele kakhulu, ndihamba njenge-zombie, ngenxa yokuntula ukulala. Yonke imini yam ilungiselelwe ukuba ndizama ukubuyisela yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya xa umntwana ephumla, kwaye xa evuka, ndichitha ixesha kunye naye.
Imeko ka-Elena ibonisa ukuba omama abaninzi abaselula. Ubomi kunye neenkxalabo zemihla ngemihla akufanele kukukhusekise, kuba ukuzalwa kobomi obutsha sele kusekho uvuyo olukhulu. Ukuba ngumama omuhle kukuvuyela abantwana bakho kwaye mbulele ukuba banako. Kwiinyanga ezintandathu emva kokuzalwa komntwana uya kuqaphela ukuba kuya kuba lula, ngonyaka uya kugqitywa ngokupheleleyo kwisigxina somdla esitsha, kwaye emva kweminyaka emibini, unokufuna ukuzalisa kwakhona intsapho. Ukuba kunzima kakhulu, cela indoda yakho ukuba incede ekuxazululeni iingxaki zasekhaya. Ngendlela enobuchule, ndithandabuze ukuba uya kukwazi ukunqaba.
I golide ithetha
Igolide ithetha, ukulungelelanisa ubudlelwane beentsapho, okokuqala, ngokuvisisana. Ulwalamano oluhle alukho ubudlelwane ngaphandle kwempikiswano, balamano apho kukho ukuqonda, ukuhlonipha, kwaye ngenxa yoko, isigqibo esifanelekileyo esifanayo.
Ukuze ugweme ukukhulula ubudlelwane ngenxa yokungaqondi kakuhle kwimihla ngemihla, kubaluleke kakhulu ukukwazi ukwabelana ngemisebenzi yoluntu phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kunye naphakathi kwabantwana. Kwilungu ngalinye lentsapho, kufuneka kube nesabelo esikhethekileyo sokukhathazeka kweentsapho kunye noxanduva. Kodwa ukwakhiwa kohlobo lolwalamano oluxhomekeka kakhulu kuxhomekeke ekunokwenzeni abafazi ukuba baququzelele kunye nokusekwa "kwintsapho". Oku kunokwenzeka kungekhona italente, kodwa umnqweno wokuhlala ngokuthanda nokuvisisana. Kodwa, kuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, kufuneka usebenze nzima. I-Spitfire, ubugwenxa kunye nehlazo ngababhubhisi bobudlelwane bembewu kwaye kungekhona enye indlela.
Yiba buthathaka kwaye ube namandla
Inyaniso kuthethwa ukuba ibhinqa kufuneka libe ngumdlali wendalo. Khawucinge nje, masithi ungenayo imvakalelo, umyeni uvela emsebenzini, kwaye uyamjonga ngokubukeka kakubi kakubi okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, musa ukuphendula. Yintoni enokulindela ngokuphendula? Amadoda athande ukunakwa, kwaye njengabo bonke abantu abaqhelekileyo, indoda yakho iya kuphendula njengaleyo ukuyithanda. Ngaba uyayifuna le meko kuwe, zicinge wena. Ukumomotheka kunye nokujonga okuvuyisayo, mhlawumbi, mhlawumbi, ehlekisayo, inokuphakamisa isimo sengqondo kuwe. Ngenxa yeli xesha ngamanye amaxesha ukutyelela kunye nesenzo somdlali.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, indoda kunye nabantwana bafanele bazi malunga nobuthathaka bakho, uqonde ukuba ukhathele, ugule okanye uzinike ihora okanye ezimbini. Emva kokwakha ubudlelwane obunjalo nezihlobo, awusoze wakhathazeka ngenxa yoko uzinikayo, kodwa awufumani nto ngokubuyisela.
UAlina, oneminyaka engama-23 ubudala:
- Ndiyakhumbula indlela umama ngayo "ngemihla ebalulekileyo" "efunyenwe" ebhedeni, kwaye thina ngokuqonda senza yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya kwaye sihamba, phantse kwi-tiptoe, ukuze singaphazamisi ukuthula nokuthula kwamamulka wam othandekayo.
Ngaba kuyimfuneko ukuba uphelele?
Ukucinga ngombuzo wendlela yokuba ngumama nomfazi omhle, ungaze uzame ukuphelela. Okokuqala, hlala wena. Umama omhle akayenawo umfazi womfazi olungileyo, ungumama othanda abantwana bakhe kwaye unenkathalo ngokuphila kwabo. Umfazi omhle ngumfazi onothando nothando, umhlobo othembekileyo nothembekileyo wobomi. Kuye kukho into enokuthetha ngayo, kuhlale kunokwenzeka ukufumana isiluleko sobulumko kuye. Ubhedi? Umfazi onothando nothando akanakuze abe neengxaki ebusweni obusondeleyo. Indoda ethandekayo isoloko iyindoda enqwenelekayo, akanako ukusilela - ufanelekile, nokuba uyakhathatywe, akayi kuncibilika kwaye akanalo ixesha lokuhlamba.
Umama olungileyo ngumhlobo othembekileyo
Ungazami ukwakha ubudlelwane nabantwana usebenzisa "i-kroti kunye ne-stick" ndlela. Imfundo yokwesaba ayisoze ikhokele ekubeni nobuhlobo bokwenene. Umntwana wakho kufuneka aqiniseke ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzekani, unokuhlala efika kuwe kwaye uthethe ngokunyanisekileyo ngezinto zonke ehlabathini, ukuba awuyi kumgxeka aze umjezise, kodwa uzame ukunceda kwimeko enzima. Abahlobo abafanele babe ngabokuqala ekuzileni iimfihlelo kunye neengxaki zomntwana wakho, kwaye unomusa, unothando, uqonda kwaye unomthwalo onoxanduva. Ukususela ekuzalweni kwabantwana bakho, wakhe ulwalamano oluthembayo phakathi kwakho kunye nawe, ungalokothi ukhohlise, ngoko ungalindela kwaye ufune le nto ngokubuyisela.
Impumelelo ifumaneka - yintoni endimele ndiyilwele?
Nangona ucinga ukuba ungumama omhle nomfazi, akuthethi ukuba kuya kuba njalo. Abantwana bakhula, sitshintsha, ngoko nangoko sifuna ukulungelelanisa imeko entsha kwindlela entsha. Kubalulekile ukukwazi ukufumana iintlungu zentsapho, ixesha elivisayo labantwana babo, ukuphakama nokuhla. Yaye wena, ngokuqinisekileyo, uya kukwazi ukunqoba konke oku, ngaphandle kweengxaki unokuba ngumama wabantwana bakho nomfazi omhle, oko kuthetha ukuthini-ukuba ube ngumndilili kwibala lobomi!