Umbuzo wokuxolela okanye ukungaxoleli ukugxeka kuxhomekeka kwiimeko ezininzi, kwaye ngokubanzi nganye kufuneka ibhekishwe ngabanye, kwimeko nganye. Ngezantsi siza kuqwalasela ezimbalwa iingongoma ezibalulekileyo kulo mbandela, ngokusekelwe kulo wena ngokwakho onokuziphendula, nokuba ufuna ukuxolela okanye ufune ukwenza oku. Ngoko, qwalasela le miba emininzi.
Uvavanyo lokuhlambalaza.
Amadoda ayaziwa ngezidalwa ezisuka kwelinye iplanethi kwaye maxa wambi kunzima ukuba siqonde iimvakalelo kunye nezizathu. Oku kufuneka kuhlale kukhunjulwa xa uhlola indlela enyantya ngayo ukuthuka kwakhe. Emva kwakho konke, ngamanye amaxesha, oko kusitshisa, kwaye sibuhlungu kakubi, loo mntu akaqapheli (okanye mhlawumbi akayiqondi le nto), ngokuba nguye umncinci kwaye awunabo ibinzana elibalulekileyo okanye usebenze. Kulo mzekelo, kuyimfuneko ukumchazela ukuba isenzo sakhe (okanye isitatimende) sasihlambalaza kwaye sasilimaza, kodwa ngokubanzi kule meko, umntu obathandayo unokuxolelwa ngokupheleleyo.
Ingozi, okanye umkhwa.
Njengoko kucacile kwinqanaba elidlulileyo, yintoni enokukhubekiswa ngumntu othandekayo, kungekhona ngengozi, kodwa ngengozi ngokungaqondani nokungazi. Oku akubi, kodwa kunokuxolelwa ukuba akunakwenzeka rhoqo. Kodwa nangona emva kokuchazwa, ukuba amazwi akhe okanye izenzo zakhe azivumelekanga, uyaqhubeka ehlambalaza. Ukuyikhuthaza ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba uhlukile kwaye akayicingi into enyathelo lakhe. Ngaloo ndlela liyisihlandlo sokucamngca malunga nokuba usondela. Emva koko, oku kukunyaniseki ngokukodwa iimvakalelo zakho kunye neembono zakho. Emva koko, nangona engavumelani nembono yakho, kufuneka ahloniphe.
Ngaba ndifanele ndivume uxolo?
Emva kwexesha lokukhathazeka nokuhlambalaza, njengomthetho, ixesha lokuxolisa liza. Xa sibona ukuguquka kwamehlo akhe amahle, sinomnqweno ovuthayo wokukholwa kuye, xolela uze ukhohlwe. Umbuzo wukuthi kufuneka uyenze? Nantsi kuyimfuneko, okokuqala, ukuba uzame ukuqonda ukuba umntu othandayo uyazi ukuba yintoni na yena ekuthuka ngayo, ngaba uyaqonda ukuba akusekho mfuneko ukwenza njalo. Emva kwakho konke, ngamanye amaxesha amadoda amaninzi acela ukuxolelwa, ngaphandle kokuzisola, kwaye njengoko uqonda, simele siqonde izizathu, ngenye indlela. Ukuba sijonge kule ngongoma kwindlela yokujonga ngokufanelekileyo, ngoko sinokugqiba ukuba kukulungele ukuxolela umntu omthandayo okokuqala, kodwa xa uhlambalaza kwaye uxolo uyaqhubeka, oku kusitsho ukuba akukho ukuqonda iimpazamo zabo, kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuxolela.
Iimeko zokugxeka.
Into ebalulekileyo yokuxolela okanye ukungaxoleli iimeko. Emva kwakho konke, ngamanye amaxesha asikho iswekile, kwaye, kwaye sinokukhubekisa okanye ukucaphukisa abathandekayo bethu. Oku kuya kwenzeka ngengozi okanye kwi-fuse yokuxabana. Kule meko, umntu makaqonde ukuba akukho konke akutshoyo okanye akwenzileyo kwakukholelwa ngqondweni wakhe, babeziva. Ewe, kwaye unokuba yinxalenye yokugxeka, kwimeko ngamanye amaxesha, kwafuneka uthathe isinyathelo sokuqala sokuxolelana kunye nokumxolela.
Njengoko sibona ngasentla, xolela okanye ungaxoleli ukuhlambalaza, kuxhomekeke kwiimeko. Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka kwenziwe, ngamanye amaxesha, ngokubanzi, akukho, nangayiphi na imeko, kubalulekile ukuba kukho naluphi na ukuhlambalaza okuxutyushwayo, uchaza ukuba kukukhubekisile, kwaye wazama ukungayenzi nto. Njengoko bathetha, kufuneka ufunde isifundo kwiimpazamo zakho!