Ngaba unako ukuthi hayi xa ufuna? Ukuyika ukonakalisa ubudlelwane, emsebenzini okanye ekhaya, sivame ukuvumelana nento xa singafuni ukwenza konke. Njani ukuba? Qhubeka uphendula ngokuthi "ewe" okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ungatsho ukuba yebo, xa ndifuna ukusho ...
I-psychology yobudlelwane babantu yinto enzima kakhulu, efuna ulwazi olunzulu nolwazi rhoqo kule ntsimi. Nangona kunjalo, ndihlala ndifumana into yokuba abanye abantu bahamba ngokulula kwaye ngokwemvelo nabantu abangenalo ulwazi olwaneleyo nolwazi kwi-psychology yobudlelwane. Omnye unokukunqanda ngoko nje ukuba awuyi kubona.
Nangona kunjalo kulula okanye kunzima ukuqhagamshelana nabantu, ndicinga ukuba kubalulekile ukugcina ulawulo olubalulekileyo lwentsebenziswano yabantu: "Ungalokothi uthi, ewe, xa ufuna ukuthetha."
Kutheni kunjalo? Emva kokuba uvumelene nento echasene nomnqweno wakho, unika esinye isizathu sokuba ulawulwe, cinga ukuba yonke into ikufanele, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukuvunyelwa okulula komntu "umntu onomnqweno" kungabiza kwixesha elizayo. Ngoko kutheni ufanele uzithobe umqobo kunye nomngcipheko, xa oku kunokuphepheka kalula? Into ephambili kuyo yonke into kukuba ukwazi ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo "cha."
Kwenzeka ukuba kulula kakhulu kubantu bakho abasondeleyo ukuba bathi "hayi" kunokuxelela umqeshwa okanye abahlobo kunye nabahlobo. Ukuvumelanisa kwakhona ngento engadingekanga okanye engafunekiyo, "uba" ixesha lakho kunye kunye, mhlawumbi, ixesha labantu abasondeleyo nabathandekayo kuwe. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ufunde ukuthi "cha."
Imeko efuna impendulo ethi "ewe" okanye "akukho" inokuba yinto eninzi. Umzekelo, akusoloko kulula ukugatya isimemo esiqhelekileyo kumhla wokuqeshwa, isicelo sokunceda emsebenzini, kunzima ukulahla ukufika kweendwendwe ezingalindelekanga, njl njl. Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, akunakwenzeka rhoqo ukukhanyela ngokuthe ngqo, kuba kunokwenzeka ukucaphukisa umntu okanye ukuxhatshalana ubudlelwane. Kubalulekile ukuza necala elichanekileyo, eliyi nyaniso kwaye ungalibali, ukuze ungabi mkhohlisi emehlweni abo.
Ndicinga ukuba, kwezinye iimeko, kufanelekile ukuthetha inyaniso yeqiniso, kunokuvelisa esinye isizathu. Ukuhlala ekhaya kummiselo onomntwana omncinci, ndandidla ngokukhawuleza ukuphika ukufika kweendwendwe eziqhelekileyo ezingapheliyo ukutyelela nentombi yam. Kule meko, ndandisithi inyaniso: "Ndiyaxolisa, ndivuyiswa kakhulu kukubona, kodwa ngoLisa ongenakuphumla, ngenxa yokungabikho kolawulo lwaloo mini, andinakukunika (ukunakekelwa okwaneleyo). Siyakhula - kwaye ke, nceda! "
Enye into, ulahla amagunya ngonyaka. Tshela umphathi "akekho" - uzibambe ngamalungelo kunye nembuyekezo (ukuba ukukhanyela kwakho kukhathaze imiba yokusebenza). Kutheni ufuna le nto? Kukho imeko xa amagunya anokunyanzela ukuba ube khona kwiintlanganiso eziqhelekileyo zentlanganiso kunye neeholide, ukwenqatshelwe okukuthintela "ukulungiswa okuvela phezulu." Ungaba njani kule meko? Uninzi kunokwenzeka ukuba ufune ukutyelela ubuncinane kanye "kweziqokelelo" ezinjalo, kuba zonke izihlandlo awukwazi ukuya kwindawo ethile okanye uhlale uxakeke. Kule meko, kubalulekile ukulandela umgaqo "wegolide intetho" - zombini neyethu.
Enye inguqu yolwalamano olunjalo: "Yithi kuqala" ewe ", uze uthi" cha. " Ngokomntu, andinakukucebisa umphumo ofanayo, ngaphandle kokuba ukuba isiphumo sokwala sasinganyanzeli. Xa ufumene imvume yakho kwinto ethile, umntu uyakha izicwangciso zakhe ezicacileyo. Kutheni kufuneka bahlasele kwaye balahlekelwe yithemba lomhlobo, umqeshwa, iqabane lamashishini okanye owaziwayo?
Yenza izigqibo
Ekubeni kubalulekile ukuba bakwazi ukukwakha nokuseka ubudlelwane nabanye abantu. Ubuchule bokuseka ngokufanelekileyo "udibaniso" luqinisekisa ukuba uphumelele kuzo zonke izikhokelo: ishishini kunye nenkampani, ubuhlobo, usapho, obusondeleyo. Kubalulekile ukungazilibali wena, ezinye iimfuno zabantu akufanele zithintele zakho xa zingahambelani. Umnqweno wakho kufuneka ube kwicala lakho. Kwaye unokuhlala usithi "hayi" ukuba awufuni ukuthi "ewe," kunye neminqweno yakho kunye neminqweno yakho iya kuqala, ngaphandle kokukhathalela iminqweno neminqweno yabanye.