Yeyiphi intlekele-ubudala buba nzima
Igama elithi "ingxaki" livela kwisiGrike elithi "krineo", kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo lithetha "ukwahlula kweendlela." Enyanisweni, eli lixesha elinqabileyo lokwenza isigqibo, ukuguquka kumntu womntu, inhlangano, inxalenye, ubunjani, okanye nayiphi enye ingqondo yendalo yonke. Kwimeko nganye ethile, ingxaki iqhubeka ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, nangona zonke iingxaki zinomgangatho omnye. Ukuqonda okungcono inkalo yenkxalabo ekuphuhliseni kwengqondo yomntu, kufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo ngokukhawuleza, njengoSherlock Holmes. Oko kukuthi, ukusuka jikelele ukuya ngasese. Iingcali zengqondo zentlalo zidibanisa ezi zintlupheko zentlungu yabantu zibe zimbini iintlobo: umntu ngamnye kunye nobudala. Yonke inkathazo yenkangala ibini kunye noyedwa, nangona kunjalo, umntu-umntu ngokwakhe akanakunxulumana neminyaka. Ubudala buye kwahlula baba ngabantwana (nakhona kubandakanya i-adolescents) kunye nabantu abadala. Mayelana neengxaki zezingane ziyaziwa ngumyalelo wobukhulu kunokuba ngabantu abadala, ngezizathu ezibini.
Okokuqala, badinga ukufundisisa, ukuchithwa kwenkqubo kunye nokulwa. Vumelana ukuba amathuba omntwana wokuhlangabezana nokujika ngokuzimeleyo kunye neeteksi kwindlela elungileyo ngumyalelo wobukhulu kunokuba ngumntu omdala onamava. Isizathu sesibini: isifundo sabo sinikezwa ngokulula kunokuba kuhlalutyo lwabantu abadala, apho i-bar yeempawu zodwa zikhula kwaye "ukunyaniseka" kwezimpendulo "ngokuqhwala". Isimo esengaphambi kweentlekele sinokukhula iminyaka, kwamashumi eminyaka. Mhlawumbi, mhlawumbi, iinyanga kunye neveki. Kodwa iimeko zokuqokelela kwazo zihlala zifana: siqhubeka senza into "engalunganga" ebomini. Asidli, asihlali nabo, sisebenza apho. Ukongezelela, ngokuphantsi, sinokuqiqa into esiyenzayo. Kodwa ukukhawuleza "apho kulandelwa" nokuba ubuvila, nokuba bubuhlungu, kuba bubangelwa yilahleko ethile, nokuba ngaba isalathiso sale "ndawo" engaziwa.
Ama-Esotericist kunye nezinto eziphathekayo zichaza izizathu zenkxwaleko ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kodwa oko kungasitshintshi. Ngexesha elithile izenzo ezingalunganga ziqokelela, kwaye ngenxa yoko "siyavuzwa" phantsi kweprogram epheleleyo. Ngenxa yoko, sibhekana nokunyuka kokuqala kwemeko, kwaye emva koko kuvela ubunzima beminyaka. Ngenxa yesiphumo sengqondo, imeko yobomi iyatshintsha. Ngethuba lexesha leengxaki apho inani elikhulu lomtshato lenzeke, ukuxabana okukhulu nabantu abasondeleyo, ukuchithwa kwexesha, ixesha lokufunda esikolweni kunye nokuphambuka kokuziphatha. Inkathazo yexesha lifana nokuqhuma kwebhomu ye-athomu. Yonke into ibonakala iphendukile. Iingcamango zethu nezenzo zethu zingasimangalisa kamva. Ndingakwenza njani oku? Ngaba ndicinga ngokwenene ngale ndoda? Emva kwentlekele, kukho iindlela ezimbini ezinokwenzeka:
"Ukufa kukuzalwa kwakhona." Ekuqaleni ndavuzwa, ngoko ndaqonda ukuba yintoni, ndenze izigqibo, ndalungisa iimpazamo, ndahlamba zonke izinto ezingadingekile, ndaqhubeka nokuhlaziywa nokukhokelela-kwabanye;
"I-Black Strip." Ndine-"eyamkelekileyo" eyomeleleyo, andizange ndifunde nantoni na kwaye ndiqhubekele phambili ekukhangekeni iindlela ezilula, apho ngokukhawuleza enye i-collapse iya kuphinda ihlulwe-kwabanye.
Eyona nto ihlala isuka kumlomo wethu kunye neminye yomlomo esiyayiva ngayo "ebomini elimnyama" ebomini. Kodwa ngokubhekiselwe kweengqondo zengqondo, kukho "iindidi ezimhlophe" ebomini bethu! Yimangalisa, nangona kungapheleli kwehlabathi jikelele, kwiimeko ezininzi iingxaki zomntu ziphela kwimeko yokuqala. Kungenxa yokuba le nkathazo yenye yezinto ezikhethiweyo zendalo. Phantse sonke siyaqwalaselwa ngokugqithiseleyo kwinqanaba eliphumelelayo. Ukuphela kokugqibela kwentlekele kukuzola kunye nokuphila okulandelayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, emva kobunzima bexesha elibi, i-creative upsurge iyenzeka. Abantu banquma ukuguqula ubomi babo ngokubhetele. Zama ukwenza ebomini, into ebalulekileyo, ebalulekileyo.
Kodwa abo bacinezelekileyo, abanesilonda kakhulu ukuqonda izizathu zenkathazo yexesha kunye nemiphumo yabo, baya kubhekana nesimo esingenakunceda. Imiphumo engaba yimivuzo yokuhlala, izifo (kubandakanywa ingqondo), iingxaki ezingenasifo kunye nabahlobo, kwintsapho, emsebenzini. Ukuba sisondela kumbuzo ngokomfanekiso, sasihamba, sinyanzela iinyawo zethu ezantsi (njengesiqhwala kwi-storyary).
Inkathazo yabantwana
Ngenkxwaleko yabantwana, ibali lihlukile, kodwa, inene, into efanayo. Kukho utshintsho kummandla omtsha womzimba kunye neengqondo, ezingavamile, kwezinye iindawo ezingahlali kuyo, "ezingaphendulwanga" kwaye ngoko zixinzezela. Kwinqanaba labantwana, ininzi yeengxaki ezinkulu ziyabonwa, phakathi kweziphi eziphakathi ezikhoyo. Nangona kunjalo, ubunokwenzeka kunye nesantya sokubonakaliswa kwabo bodwa kwaye bazithoba.
Inkathazo yonyaka omnye- ekuqalekeni, ngokungabi nantoni, kodwa ekuqalekeni. Oku kuluhlu lolwalamano nehlabathi kunye nesigqibo esisisisigqibo sokuthi uyayamkela okanye cha. Ukuthanda abanye, ukudelela, okanye ukwesaba, kugqitywa apha kwaye ngoku.
Inkathazo yeminyaka emithathu yindlela yokuziphatha engcolileyo nangona nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo. Ukuqwashisa ngombono othi "hayi", "akunakwenzeka", amava okuqala angayifumana.
Inkathazo yeeminyaka ezisixhenxe yinkxalabo yokuhlukana kunye nobuntwana. Ubume belizwe, ukuveliswa kwezinto zonke ezinokuthi zenziwe jikelele (kwaye akunakwenzeka), ukhetho kwifoloko phakathi kokunciphisa ubunzima kunye nokuvakalelwa kwedwa. Kule minyaka, abaninzi bethu bafunda ukuthetha ubuxoki.
Ixesha lesigxina lidla ngokubhekiselwe kwiminyaka eyi-12 ukuya kwe-14. Nangona ingaqala kwiminyaka eyi-9, kwaye iphele ekupheleni kwe-21. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ininzi intsha "iya" kwelinye ilizwe ukusuka kwiminyaka eyi-11 ukuya kwe-17. Ubuninzi bokuzibandakanya ngokwesondo, kwaye ngenxa yoko, ukwanda kobudlova, ukuqhuma kwe-hormonal kunye nokuguquka kwemizwa. Umzabalazo wokuzimela, i-swallows yokuqala yeengxaki zengqondo ezilandelayo. Ukususela kwiminyaka eyi-18 ukuya kwe-20, ngokuqhelekileyo ukuhlukana kokugqibela ukususela ebuntwaneni, ukukhethwa kobugcisa, ukuqala komzabalazo omde kunye nobunzima owenzela indawo elangeni.
Izilwanyana zaseMidlife
Ixesha elisusela kwiminyaka engama-20 ukuya kwe-27 libhekwa njengento engenamhlaba. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuphazamiseka okwenzeka kweli qela leminyaka kunomlingiswa ngamnye. Abantu abaninzi bakhumbula le minyaka njengento ebhetele ebomini babo. Ezinye izazi zengqondo zicinga ukuba umhla obizwa ngokuba yi- "middle age crisis" kufuneka ukhishwe kwixesha elide lokuphila elidibeneyo kwisiqingatha, ngaphantsi kwexesha lokuphila komhlalaphantsi. Kule nkalo, kucetywayo ukuba kuqwalaselwe ingxaki eneminyaka eyi-25 ubudala. Nangona kunjalo, ukuphikisana kwaloo mbono kuyabonakala. Ukongezelela, ubudala bokudalwa kwentsapho nokuzala abantwana kwiminyaka emashumi mabini asondeleyo kuye kwafika iminyaka engama-35, kwandisa ulutsha lwethu olungakhathaliyo.
Isiqalo sokuqala sokukhula sikhula iminyaka engama-27-29, esandulela "ingxaki ye-thirties" . Ngeli xesha siqhathanisa amaphupha kunye nenyaniso, kwaye ukububula kukudanisa. Ithemba elininzi liguqula ngokutsha uhlobo lomsebenzi kunye nendlela yokuphila. Abasetyhini, ukuya kuma-30 abakhele umsebenzi, ngokuzenzekelayo bazinikele ekudalweni kwintsapho kunye nokuzalwa kwenzala. Kwaye oomama beentsapho, ngokuchaseneyo, baqala ukuqhuba umsebenzi. Ingxenye yale nto ingenxa yeenganekwane ezigxininiswe ngokuqaphela "ukuzala 30". Ukususela kumntu oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala, zonke iintlungu eziqhubekayo kumntu zenzeka phantsi komqondiso wokuhlaziywa kwamanani kunye nokubuza yonke into eyaphumelela ebomini. Kulo thuba iphakame iingcamango: "Ndiye sele ndihleli," kwaye "kwaye konke oku kufanelekileyo kwam?"
Ngaphezulu kweengxaki zeminyaka engama-30, " ingxaki- phakathi-bomi" ilandelayo, engenza umonakalo omkhulu kumntu, umsebenzi, kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, isimo somntu somntu. Iminyaka engama-40 ukuya kwe-45-iminyaka yobuqhawulo kunye nemitshato ephindaphindiweyo, "iidemon kwiimbambo" kunye nesiqingatha-ntlanzi, ebizwa ngokuba yintshukumo yobutsha. Nguyena oneminyaka engamashumi amane ubudala odla ngokubhekisele kuma-psychoanalysts. Kwaye xa kwenzeka ukungahambi kakuhle kwimeko enzima, bahlala bengena kuzo zonke iindidi. Isigaba "esiphakathi kobomi" sivame ukubonakala phambi kwethu ngesibuko esipheleleyo, apho iimpazamo zethu zibonakaliswa ngokugqithiseleyo, kwaye impumelelo ayibonakali nhlobo.
Iingxaki zabantu abadala
Ngokumalunga neminyaka engama-55 ukuya kuma-75 umntu uhamba "ngxakini yokuguga" , umxholo othi, mhlawumbi, ungacacanga. Eli xesha linamanyathelo amaninzi, inani elichanekileyo kunye nobude buxhomekeke kwimeko yempilo eyenziwa kwimisebenzi kunye nakwizentlalo. Kwaye nakwimilinganiselo yengqondo kunye nomoya womntu. Kule minyaka, unako ukuqala ukulwa neengcamango zokufa, kwaye uxolelane nabo kwaye ngokufanelekileyo ufike ekupheleni. Indlela yokuguqula indlela yakho yokuphila ibe yinto eqhelekileyo, kwaye udale iqela labantu abathandekayo beparachut. Abaninzi banesaba ukuba "baya kusinda" ukuya kumhlalaphantsi kwaye baqale ukusebenza kangcono kunabantwana abatsha. Abanye, ngendlela, batshata. Enye yezigaba zenkathazo yokuguga " yinto enobungakanani" (iminyaka engama-70 ukuya kweyama-80), xa umntu eqokelela, njengokungathi kwinqutyana, yonke into ifinyelelwe, ifunyenwe, ilahlekile kwaye yenzeke. Usuvele "apha", kwaye "apho," kwaye ngokomoya ngamanye amaxesha akhululekile kunabantwana abaneminyaka engama-25 ubudala. Ngomnye umntu uhlala ephila iminyaka eyi-100 ubudala. Abo basinda kwixesha elibanjwe ngokugqithiseleyo babhekana "neengxaki zexesha elizayo" , beqonda ukuba baya kushiya, kwaye bahlale ngenxa yesayensi. Phakathi kwekhulu leminyaka, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuvezwa njani, ukuzama ukuzibulala kuyenzeka kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, "ukukhanyiselwa" kule minyaka kunokoqobo. Amadoda amadala awayikho nto ngamaxesha onke kwaye kuzo zonke iinkcubeko zibonwa zilumko.
Akunakwenzeka ukuqinisekisa ukuxhatshazwa kweminyaka ekuphuhliseni kwengqondo yomntu. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba inkathazo, njengento yonke ebomini, iphelile. Kwaye kuya kuxhomekeka njani kuwe. Inokubangela zombini ukuphazamiseka okungapheliyo kunye nesigaba esitsha esimangalisayo ebomini.