Abaninzi abafazi bajonga abantu abangenakunqwenela abangakwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwesondo kunye nemini. Bathetha ukuba ubuhlobo bomntu buvuliwe ngesondo, kwaye ngothando luneengcamango ezingacacanga, kuba ingqondo yakhe ihlala igxina iminqweno yesondo. Kodwa eqinisweni, akubona bonke abantu bacinga ngesondo kwaye kuphela. Ngokuchanekileyo, mhlawumbi bacinga, kodwa ukhethe abafazi kunye nolwalamano, abakhokelwa ngumbono, kodwa ngeemvakalelo. Ewe, a baninzi amadoda anjalo, kodwa ayenjalo. Kwaye kuyathakazelisa gqitha ukuba abafazi bazi, kuba ziziphi izizathu eziba yiyo kanye?
LeMfundo
Amanye amadoda azama ukubeka isondo kwindawo yokuqala ngenxa yemfundo efunyenweyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, aba bafana bakhula malunga nomntu wonke, apho kungekho namadoda, kwaye isini sesini ukususela ebuntwaneni kuchaza ukuba uthando alusekelwe kuphela kwisini. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, lo mfana uqala ukuxhatshaza ngesondo njengento enamathele kwiintsingiselo, kwaye kungeyona indlela yokuphumla kunye nokuzonwabisa. Kodwa ukuba udibana nomntu onjalo ofuna ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kunokwesini, lungela ukuba uya kukhetha intombi yentliziyo kakhulu. Aba bantu abahlangani kunye ne-cheeky kunye ne-ramblings, kuba abaqondi nje indlela onokuziphatha ngayo ngale ndlela kwaye ungabahloneli abantu onabo. Isimo sengqondo esithandabuleyo ngesondo malunga namadoda anjalo sisalathisi esicacileyo sokungahloneli kwabasetyhini kunye kunye nabafana abajikelezile. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna umntu osondeleyo kuwe ongaboni ngesondo ukuba ngowona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kwaye ebaluleke kakhulu ebomini, zilungele ukuba kufuneka uziphathe ngokufanelekileyo: ungaphuzi, ungashunyi kwaye wenze ngokuhambelana nemithetho yokuziphatha kunye nemithetho kuluntu.
Inkolo
Esinye isizathu sokuba umntu ayenze ngaphandle kwesondo ixesha elide unqulo. Kwaye ngoku akukhona nje ngee-monks. Kukho amadoda amaninzi ahlala ebomini, kodwa angatshatanga ngenxa yeenkolelo zabo zonqulo. Ngokomzekelo, phantse nayiphi na inkolo ithi umntu kufuneka atshate okanye atshate, ahlambuluke nomphefumlo kunye nomzimba. Ngulo myalelo ukuba amadoda anjalo akhokelwa nguwo. Akholelwa ukuba kunokwenzeka ukubandakanya ngesondo kuphela ngenxa yothando olukhulu kunye nomfazi oyedwa oya kuba yintlekele yakhe yonke imihla. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lo mzekelo unhle kakhulu kwaye unothando, kwaye ngakwelinye icala, abafana abafuni ukuva nokuqonda malunga nezinto ezinjengezocwangciso zesondo ezingahambelaniyo kunye nokunye. Ngendlela, i-worldview efanayo inokubambelela kumntu waluphi na unqulo. Ngexesha elifanayo, unokufumana iminqweno enempilo yesondo, efuna ukuyenza, ngenxa yokuba ukholelwa ukuba ukulala ngaphambi komtshato akulungile. Amadoda anjalo asemangalisa abantu besifazane, kuba bathi inkokheli, apho abafazi baye bayeka khona ngenxa yokufuna isondo ephezulu yesini esomeleleyo. Kwaye amadoda athembekileyo athembisa ukuba umntu othandayo nomntu ongenamntu unokulindelwa, kuba nje ukuba i-tebene ifuna isondo, kodwa ibaluleke ngakumbi kwaye inzulu kakhulu ukuhambisana nokuziphatha kwabantu, ukuthanda kwabo ngokomoya kunye nokunye. La madoda angaphila ngaphandle kwesondo ixesha elide, ngenxa yokuba baqiniseka ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba bachanekile, bafuna ukubeka umxhelo wokuziphatha ngaphezu kokuzonwabisa. Ewe, ukuziphatha okunjalo kufuna umzamo othile kubo, kodwa bakulungele ukuwusebenzisa, kuba bakholelwa ekulungeni kwabo kwaye abafuni ukuguqula ukholo lwabo nemithetho kaThixo wabo. Yaye ukholo, njengokuba uyazi, injini engcono kunye nomlawuli onamandla kunabo bonke ubomi bomntu.
Imigaqo
Amadoda akakwazi ukukhokelwa ebomini ngokwesini kunye nemigaqo yabo. Enyanisweni, abafazi kuphela abangena ebuhlotsheni obusondeleyo "ngothando". Njengoko kule nto ayinzima ukukholelwa, kodwa ngaba ngabafana. Kwabo, ngokunjalo, ukuziphatha kakubi ukuba ulale ngesondo nomntu abangawuthandiyo okanye ubuncinane abanalo uvelwano oluqinileyo. Kule meko, indima ephambili idlalwe yienkolelo zokuziphatha, apho amadoda agonyelwe ubomi babo aze abe ngabanye. Abantu abanjalo abazange baxoxe ngokunqoba kwabo ngokwesondo kuluntu, bahlonipha kakhulu abasetyhini, abakhethi bakhethe abafazi, nokuba bakulungele ukuthatha ubuhlobo besondo kunye naye okanye cha. Ngelishwa, aba bantu banqabile ngokwenene, kuba amanye amalungu enesini esomeleleyo ayicinga ngokuziphatha kwabo ngokungavamile. Bachaza oku ngento yokuba ngamadoda i-genotype yimfuneko yokutshiza amaninzi amabhinqa ngokunokwenzeka. Kodwa aba bantu abaqondi ukuba amanye amalungu olwabelana ngesondo angacinga ngeemvakalelo kunye nesimo sengqondo aze aqhube ngesondo ngokusesikweni. Amadoda alandela imigaqo aneeminqweno zesondo eziqhelekileyo. Ngaloo nto baqwalaselwa ngeemvakalelo zabanye, abanakulala ngesondo ngenxa yecala, njengoko oku kuhlambalaza isidima sabasetyhini kunye nabo.
Uthando
Ngokuqinisekileyo, uthando kunye nesifiso sesini ngesenzo esingafaniyo. Kodwa ufumana uthando lokwenene, amadoda angakwazi ukuyeka isondo ngenxa yabasetyhini. Ngokuqhelekileyo imbangela yale yiminye imigaqo yamantombazana amahle okanye ubuncinane. Kwaye ke abo bantu bathanda ngokwenene, bayavuma ukulindela okufunekayo. Kodwa amadoda amaninzi athi akunakwenzeka ukugcina nokuqala ngakwesobunxele. Kodwa ngokwenene, ukuba umntu uyayithanda ngokwenene, ngoko ulolo lwamahafu kunye nokwesaba ukulahlekelwa yinto ngenxa yokunyanzela ukunyanzelisa ukuba unqwenele umnqweno wakho wesondo kwaye ucinge ngentliziyo yakho, kungekhona kwezinye iindawo zomzimba wakho. Ngoko ke, yonke intombazana enokungabaza ukuba umntu angaphila ngaphandle kwesondo kwaye unobungane obusondeleyo kuphela ngenxa yakhe, kufuneka ayeke ukuzikhohlisa. Umntu onothando akaze athotyelwe ukuba alalane ngesondo okanye adibanise ngothando. Uya ku soloko ekwazi ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ungafuni ukungena kunye nokuvuma ukulinda. Kodwa ukuba umntu uqala ukuxhala, uxela ukuba ngaphandle kwesondo kuya kuguquka, njalo njalo, ngoko iimvakalelo zakhe azikho. Kungenzeka ukuba, uyakuthanda, kodwa kungekhona njengomntu onomphefumlo wakhe nomlingiswa, kodwa njengento yesondo. Kwaye kulo mzekelo, ulwalamano olunjalo lufanelekile ukuphula, kuba abayi ku khokela nayiphi na into kodwa intlungu nokudumala.
Ihlabathi lanamhlanje likhululekile kwiimbono kunye nezigqibo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kuyeke ukuba kube yinto eyanqatshelwe, kwaye abantu baqala ukubandakanya imigangatho yabo yokuziphatha engenakunceda. Kodwa kweli hlabathi akukho namantombazana kuphela, kodwa kunye nabafana abanokubangela ukukhwabanisa ngokwesondo kwisicwangciso sesibini ngenxa yemvakalelo yokunyanisekileyo nokuhlonipha.