Igama elithi "inkosikazi" kumadoda amaninzi linxulumene nemfihlelo kunye nobulili bendoda ebhinqa indoda eyitshatileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ubunzulu bobuhlobo obunjalo busekelwe kwisithandana kunye nesondo. Yile ncazelo yento enjenge "inkosikazi" eyona nto ibhetele kumfazi odibana nomntu otshatileyo. Ngobudlelwane kunye nenkosikazi, umntu unomdla ogqithiseleyo, ulwabelana ngesondo, unqatshelwe kwaye umnxeba ubiza umnxeba kunye nokukwazi ukwenza into engavumelekanga, leyo eyasebenza kakuhle. Kodwa umthwalo kangakanani ubude bomtshato wendoda kunye nenkosikazi yakhe, kwaye yintoni indima ngamnye kulaba bantu abathathu (umfazi, umyeni, inkosikazi) abaye bawela phantsi kwimeko enjalo?
Umyeni, umfazi kunye nenkosikazi.
Naliphi na umnkosikazi onokuthi umkhwenkwe usele usetshatile, unesibheno sakhe, apho umntu ehlala "ubomi obini". Kwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano olunjalo, yiyo inkosikazi enamandla onke. Emva koko, wayenomdla kwaye wakwazi ukufumana indoda ehlala nomfazi iminyaka emininzi yomtshato. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ininzi yakhe ingqalelo kunye nexesha indoda ayinika lona umfazi omtsha ebomini bakhe, kungekhona kumfazi wakhe. Kwaye nokuba uchitha ixesha kunye nomfazi wakhe-unokucinga ngaye. Umyeni unikela inketho yakhe kwinkosikazi yakhe kungekuphela kwengcamango yakhe, kodwa nakwizenzo zakhe. Uyamnika izipho kwaye ufuna ukubona uvuyo kunye novuyo. Nantsi kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba, njengoko kwakungenakulungele inkosikazi, kuba umfazi lo mkhuba ungathandeki kwaye uzisa intlungu ephathekayo yokuziphatha. Ngoko ke akunakulungile ukuba loo ncwadana ehlangothini inexesha elide kakhulu. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva onke amanqaku angaphezu kwe "I" kusadingeka ukuba amalungiselele kwaye ukuba akukho nxaxheba kuba "ngxantathu yothando" akwenzayo, ubomi buya kwenza.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba "kwizicathulo" zenkosikazi ?
Isiseko sobudlelwane obunjalo, njengommiselo, buxoki kunye nenkohliso, kodwa ke, inkosikazi isoloko iphendulela isohlo konke oku ngasentla. Ngaphandle kokucinga nokuba injalo indoda ingakhohlisi nje umfazi wayo, kodwa yona. Eli bhinqa ubona kuphela okwenene, kumngcatsha okwenene. Kodwa ukuba ugweba ngokuchanekileyo, lo mfazi naye unobungqina bexhoba leemeko. Kwaye le ndoda yenze inxaxheba yendima yangempela. Ngendlela, ubude bobuhlobo obunjalo ngokuqhelekileyo lubekwe ngaphambili. Oku kuboniswa kukuba inxalenye encinci yamadoda ishiya intsapho ngenxa yenkosikazi. Ngenxa yoko, ubudlelwane obunjalo abukwazi ukuhlala ixesha elide, kuba akusiyo yonke intokazi eya kuneliseka ngokuba "indawo yokugcina indawo" kunye "nokulinda imozulu ukuya elwandle" ngethemba lokuba ngenxa yakhe indoda iya kumshiya umfazi wayo. Ukulinda okungapheli - oku kukuphakamileyo okusekelwe kwisinxulumano kunye nenkosikazi yakhe ...
Ikamva lazo zonke iindibano ezintathu.
Enyanisweni, ebomini kukho yonke ipesenti kunye namancinci amadoda awashiya abafazi bawo ngenxa yeentombi zabo ezikhoyo. Kodwa, ngenxa yenhlanhla okanye intlungwini, oku kwenzekayo kunqabile. Kwaye ingcaciso ebalulekileyo yile nto kukuba kunye nomfazi omtsha, xa edala intsapho, umntu ulindele ukungaqiniseki ngokugqibeleleyo, okungeke kuthiwe ngolu hlobo, kodwa olude lwaziwa ngobomi bakhe kunye nomfazi wakhe wangoku. Ukongezelela, intando yothando kunye nenkosikazi inika umfazi ongalunganga ithuba lokuziva u-charm of "ubudlelwane obungavumelekanga", kwaye apha njengoko bethetha "kutheni uhlawula ngaphezulu." Ewe, kwaye umshiya umfazi wakhe, indoda iyakwazi ukuhamba kunye nomfazi omtsha ukuba alahlekelwe yinkululeko yakhe, afunayo iminyaka engaphezu konyaka. Ukongezelela, ubudlelwane obakhelwe ekukhohliseni abanakuze baphumelele. Ngokukhawuleza okanye emva koko, ukukopela okuqhubekayo komntu kuya kumnqanda uthando lwenkosikazi yakhe, kwaye uya kubuya kwintsapho.
Ewe, ukuba umntu usenokuthatha isigqibo kwisenzo esibalulekileyo ebomini kwaye uya kwindlovukazi yakhe, ubude bobudlelwane phakathi kwabo buya kufika ekufeni. Emva koko, bobabini, ixesha elithile, bahlala bejikeleze ukukhohlisa okupheleleyo, oko kuthetha ukuba oku kuya kubakhokelela, kubonakala ukuba sele sele yintsapho yobomi.
Ngaba indoda iya kuhlala kunye nenkosikazi okanye umfazi wayo?
Ulwalamano olubhekiselele kwicala lomtshato. Yaye oku kufuneka kukhunjulwe rhoqo. Kanye kunye nokufihla, kunye neentlanganiso ezifihlakeleyo, ezilindele ukuwa. Enyanisweni, into yokuba indoda ethile kwindawo ephantsi kwintsikelelo yakhe ibona ikamva layo elikulo mfazi, kodwa isimo sakhe sengqibelelo kumfazi kunye nentsapho yakhe isaphakamileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo ayifakiwe.
Kufanelekile ukukhankanya apha ukuba iindwendwe zivame ukuziswa ngabantu abavakalelwa kukuba bangenanto okanye bangakhathali kweso sikhundla kwaye bafuna ukuzama into entsha. Kwaye uhamba ehlangothini kwaye ugcwalisa ukungabi nalutho "olunxulumano olubi" umntu, njengokungathi akukho nto ibuyela kwintsapho ngendlela engakaze ibe yinto eyona nto kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, uzama ukubuyisela ubuhlobo bakhe bokuqala kunye nomfazi wakhe. Ngelinye igama, inkosikazi kule meko isebenza njengendlela efanelekileyo yokukhupha kunye nexesha, kodwa, njengoko uyazi, ubuhlobo obunjalo abuyi kuhlala. Emva koko, oko kuthiwa "intando yothando" umntu uqhubeka ephila ngokuzinza kunye nokulinganisa ubomi bentsapho, nangaphandle kokukhumbula izinto zakhe zokungena ngakwesobunxele.
Ewe, xa kwenzeka ukuba "ukungathembeki" akuzange kuthathe ukuhamba nokuphonsa inkosikazi, wayenokuyifaka. Kwaye isizathu esikhulu apha sixinzelelo oluvela kwicala lakhe kumntu, ukuze atshintshe into aze enze ukhetho lokugqibela. Kwaye amadoda, njengokuba uyaziyo, ayithandi xa axinekile, okanye ungxamise kwisigqibo. Yingakho, indlela engcono ngayo "iya kubaleka kwinqanawa elitshonkisayo" kwaye ikhuphe ngokukhawuleza kwindawo ekhuselekileyo apho sele ijwayele ukubona ukuba yintoni, oko kukuthi, kubuyela kumfazi wayo. Umfazi kuphela okwazi ukuwuqonda aze amxolele, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani kuye. Njengoko bethetha, awuyi kuyenza ngenxa yentsapho yakho yentlalo.
Yilokho umfanekiso oqhelekileyo wobudlelwane phakathi komfazi nomyeni ukhangeleka-unkosikazi, apho okwesithathu, mhlawumbi okwesithathu, isoloko ihlambulukileyo, kwaye kulo meko kudla ngokuba yinkosikazi.