Ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomyeni ongaphambili emva kokuqhawula umtshato kuya kwenzeka kwiimeko ezininzi.
Okokuqala, njengoko kuyaziwa, ukuziphatha kwabantu emva komtshato kungahlukaniswa zibe ziintlobo ezintathu. Abanye abatshatileyo baqhayisa, umnqamlezo wesibini omnye nomnye ebomini kunye nxalenye kwimeko yokungabandakanyeki komnye nomnye. Kwaye abanye bazama ukuqoqa indebe ephukile. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuqhawula umtshato okwenza ukuba ukwazi ukuqonda ubunyaniso beqabane lomntu wokuqala. La malungu esithathu ahlala esondele ukuba abe nolwalamano olusondeleyo emva kokuba umtshato uphathwe.
Okwesibini, isondo emva kokuqhawula umtshato senzeke kwezo zibini eziqhawule umtshato, kodwa azizange zenze inxaxheba. Isiqhelo sobuqhelo okanye ukuphela kobudlelwane bosapho luhambelana nolungaqhelwanga. Ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato, njengomtshato, abaninzi abantu basebenzisanga nje ukutshintsha isimo somtshato. Ukwahlukana kungaba yindlela yokwenza i-blackmail, isifundo sokuxoxisana, okanye nje ukukhangela iimvakalelo ezingabonakaliyo ngamandla, ezingabikho kwimpilo eqhelekileyo. Ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomyeni owayengumyeni emva kokuqhawula umtshato ngokuqhelekileyo kunikwa abafazi abashiya, kodwa abazange bahlukane neqabane labo. Awukwazi ukubiza le meko enempilo okanye ngokuzinzileyo kwengqondo. Inyani kukuba abantu abesilisa bahlala behlangana kuphela ngenxa yesondo. Okokuthi, bona, ukuqonda ukungahambelani kunye nokungakwazi ukudala ubudlelwane obunzulu, banciphise kwi-coition elula. Ngexeshana le nto ingaba isisombululo, kodwa kungekhona ixesha elide. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukuhamba ufumane umyeni omtsha, ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomyeni wangaphambili kufuneka bume.
Okwesithathu, ubulili emva kokuqhawula umtshato kuya kwenzeka kwaye kwiibini ezitshatileyo ezahlula iintshaba okanye kumava angathathi hlangothi. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kubangelwa yimfuneko yokunxibelelana rhoqo emsebenzini okanye kwinkampani yabahlobo abazalwana. Iingcali zeengqondo zaseMerika zalinganisela ukuba ubuhlobo obusondeleyo phakathi kwabangaphambili abatshatileyo, kunye nabathandi, ngokuvumelana nemvume yentetho yesibini, idlula kuma-95%. Kungenxa yesi sizathu ukuba ezininzi izibini zizama ukunciphisa oonxibelelwano emva kokuhlukana. Okanye zama ukuthetha kuphela kwisimo esisesikweni kunye nakubantu abaninzi.
Ubulili emva kokuqhawula umtshato, njengoko kukholelwa kakhulu kwizengqondo zengqondo, kufihla ingozi ngakumbi kuyo kunezinto ezingalindelekanga. Inyaniso kukuba ngamanye amaxesha isondo esifanelekileyo sizama ukuvala kwikamva, esenziwa ngumntu omnye okanye bobabini abasuka kuphelelwa yithemba. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafazi bayavuma ukuba yinto yokudlala yesondo kwizandla zomntu owayengumyeni wangaphambili enethemba lokumbuyisela esifubeni sentsapho. Amadoda amaninzi ayedla ngokuqonda isondo emva komtshato njengento ebalulekileyo. Ngokukrakra ngokukhethekileyo, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nomyeni owayengumyeni usenokuba yimeko xa umyeni uye waya kwelinye ibhinqa, kodwa umkhwa omdala uyaqhubeka ulala ngesondo kunye nomfazi ongaphambili. Ukuba kukho umfazi, nangona kunjalo, isigaba sokuqala sokukhathazeka kwangemva kokufa, okuhlala kwiiveki ezimbini ukuya kweebhozo, ukuba uphume kude nomlingane wangaphambili.
Ngamanye amaxesha ubulili emva kokuqhawula umtshato akuhambelani nokuzama ukubuyisela umfazi okanye ukuzonwabisa kuze kufike iqabane elitsha. Ngamanye amaxesha abatshati abanezizathu eziphathekayo kufuneka baphile kunye emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Okanye ba nya nzeliswa ukudibana rhoqo ngenxa yeeholide labantwana kunye neentsapho. Kwenzeka ukuba basebenza kunye okanye baqhube ishishini elifanayo. Kule meko kubalulekile ukuqonda oko ufunayo. Ukuba ubona ithemba lokwenene lokubuyisela ubuhlobo, mhlawumbi kubalulekile ukuzama. Ukuba akukho namathuba okuhlanganisana, ngoko kuyafaneleka ukuba ucinge ithuba lokuyeka ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nomyeni ongaphambili.
Kungcono ukuchitha eli xesha xa uzama ukudelela kwiingxaki zangaphambili, ukuziqonda wena nemvakalelo yakho, ukubeka ixabiso elitsha ebomini, ukubeka phambili. Musa ukukhawuleza ukuya kwelinye icala: kuphuthumayo ukukhangela umntu onokumthabatha, okanye kunye naye onokuqala ulwalamano lokubeka ingongoma yokugqibela yangaphambili. Akusiyo into yokuba iingqondo ze-psychotherapists zixubushe nge-suitcase ye-suitcase yeengxaki. Ukunyuka komnye umtshato ukuya komnye, asikwazi ukuthabatha i-teethothrow nathi. Kwaye zonke iisutikithi zeengxaki zihanjiswa ngokungafunekiyo. Isiphumo sinokudanisa kakhulu: emva koko, umtshato wesibini okanye wesithathu uya kuvuyisa, kwaye ukuwa kwawo kungaholela ekukholweni ngokupheleleyo. Ukuthintela oku kungenzeki emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kuyafaneleka ukuthatha ixesha lokuphumla, ukunciphisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabani na, kwaye uzama ukuhlalutya iingxaki zakho kunye nezizathu zokubandezeleka. Kubalulekile ukulahla ubuncinane ezinye zeengxaki ezonakalisa intsapho yakho yolonwabo. Yilapho indoda enomdla kunye nesini esilungileyo kunye naye iya kuba yinyani kakhulu kunokuba uyalinda umviwa ofanelekileyo, uchitha ixesha lokulala kunye nomntu osekude naye.