Ukungathembeki kwamanye amaqabane omnye komnye: yintoni le nto ekhokelela kuyo?
Kufuneka kuqatshelwe ukuba ngexesha lokungathembani phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi, bobabini amaqabane angase afike kumbono ogqithiseleyo okanye angabanjwa ngengxaki yokuxhalaba, ukusola kunye nokukhwele. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, oku kungakhokelela kumanyathelo angqongqo kunye nokuthintela kulwalamano, oluya kufuna ukuba amalungu omanyano abe ngumlinganiselo omkhulu wolwazi malunga nanyathelo lonke elithathwe ngumfazi kunye nendoda. Yilapho kuqala ukuphela kokuqala ukuqhakaza.
Ukungathembeki phakathi kwabalingani kunye nothando
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba buhlungu kangakanani umfanekiso wobudlelwane phakathi kwabathandekayo, wahlala efuna ukukholelwa ukuba uthando luyisiseko esisisiseko, kwaye ukungaqiniseki phakathi kwesini esahlukileyo kuyingozi nje. Yingakho kubalulekile ukunqoba le ntliziyo kwaye uzama ukuhlangabezana namava abo. Kwaye ukuze ulondoloze iimvakalelo phakathi komfazi kunye nomthandi wakhe, kuyimfuneko ukuchonga izinto eziphambili ezibangela ukuba lo okanye loo mvakalelo yokungaqiniseki nokungathembeki.
Izizathu eziphambili ezibangela ukungaqinisekanga kwintombi kwindoda kunye nangona kunjalo
Abantu abaninzi bavame ukuba bangagxininisa ingqalelo kwindlela encinane abaye bayigxininisa ngayo iqabane labo, kodwa ngokukhawuleza bayityhila ukusilela ebusweni bakhe kwaye ngexesha elifanayo baqala ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba abazange bathande ngokwenene kwaye xabiswa. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ukungaqiniseki kowesifazane kubonakalisa okungaphezulu kunomntu, kuba ngubani, ukuba ayingekho isini esifanelekileyo, unokubuza umbuzo ofanayo ngosuku ngalunye umbuzo ofanayo: "Uyandithanda?". Kwaye xa wabuzwa - kuthetha ukuba abazithembi ukuthembeka kweemvakalelo zabo ezikhethiweyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku kufaneka kwindoda yesintu, kodwa kubasetyhini ukungaqiniseki kunamandla ngakumbi. Le nkosikazi, njengomthetho, iqala "ukukhulisa" imbono yendawo, isuka kumlingane wayo. Konke oku kudala iimpembelelo ezinobungqina, leyo leyo ntokazi yona ibonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba ithembekile. Nantsi le nto, isizathu sokuqala ukungathembeki kulwalamano, oludibene nokungaqiniseki kwiimvakalelo. Kwakhona kufuneka kuthiwe ukuba ukungaxolisi ngokuphathelele ukunyaniseka nokunyaniseka ngamanye amaxesha kuthatha uhlobo lwezinto eziphambanisayo. Kungenxa yoko, ekukhangela ingqwalasela kwicala (okanye nokuba ucinga nje ngawo), umntu uqala ukungabaza ukuba iqabane lakhe likwazi ukufana. Njengoko bathetha, sonke siwagweba ngokulinganisa kwethu ukuziphatha okubi! Yingakho akufanelekanga ukuba "ukulinganisa ngaphantsi komgca omnye", kodwa kukulungele ukuzama ukufumana ubuhlobo obunokuthi buza kuphazamisa ukungaqiniseki kwiimvakalelo kwaye ngoko kukunceda ukufumana uxolo.
Enye imvelaphi yokungathembeki phakathi kwendoda kunye nomlingane wayo yinto esekelwe kwinto yokuba ukuba uthando lubekwe, ngoko kubonakala ngathi sisisiseko sokonwaba, njengokuba ukuzaliseka kwamaphupha ethu axabisekileyo. Ukufumana uthando, umntu onobubini, ngokukhawuleza ufuna ukuxazulula zonke iingxabano kunye nokuphikisana okuye kwavela kuye kwaye ufuna ukufunyanwa kwezinto zonke eziyimfihlo. Olu thando, njengomthetho, lunomnqweno ochanekileyo kunye ngokukhawuleza kuzo zonke iinjongo zethu nokulindela. Ngamanye amazwi, lo mthando alukho kumntu osondele, kodwa yena ngokwakhe kunye naye "ngaphakathi" ngaphakathi. Kodwa umntu, engaqapheli oku, uzama ukwanelisa amaphupha akhe kumlingane, ngaphandle kokufumana umphumo kuwo. Oku kwavelisa ukungabi nantembelo ekuqinisekiseni iimvakalelo.
Isizathu esilandelayo, esinokubangela ukungathembeki, kuthathwa njengenguqu ebonakalayo ekuphatheni komnye wabalingani. Ngokomzekelo, umfazi okanye umntu uqala ngokungahambi nantoni na, ukhangele ngenyameko ukubonakala kwawo, uthande umdla kwizinto abangazange bacinge ngazo ngaphambili, bazibethe ngamandla emsebenzini wabo, banike amaqabane abo kunye neenjabulo zobomi, benze imimangaliso "Kama Sutra" ebhedini. Yiyo kanye imeko kule meko. Yintoni enokuyenza: thembela okanye uqinisekise? Nantsi kulungile ukuthetha ukuba bonke ubungqina obuchanekileyo bubonakala, kwaye sizama ukuchonga abachanekileyo ngokuhlalutya ngokucacileyo ngokufihlakeleyo kunye nokufihliweyo ngokufihlakeleyo. Abantu banengqondo enjalo yendalo, ngezinye izihlandlo iphendulela. Kule meko, kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuba ukuba ukhokelwa ebomini ngokuqonda, kuyafaneleka ukuqhuba uphando olunzulu. Ngendlela, isiphumo sakhe sinokungalindelekanga: kubonakala ukuba eqinisweni zonke ezi "ziqulatho" ziya kuba iimpawu zothando olunyanisekileyo. Okanye mhlawumbi iqabane liye lagqiba isigqibo sokuphumeza zonke iingcebiso ezinikwe kuye, livuyisa umphefumlo wakhe kunye neenguqu ezinjalo kwaye ibe yindoda yinyani okanye inenekazi neyintliziyo. Ngoko, akufanele unamathele kumncinci (onqamlekileyo) uLiba ukungathembeki okanye ukumthuthuzela ngokusola nokuhlambalaza. Khumbula ukuba uthando nokuqonda zakhiwa kuphela ekuthembekeni komnye nomnye! Qala ukuthembela kubathandekayo bakho, ukulahla konke ukungathandabuzeki kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uya kubona ukuba ubomi bakho buza kuphucula njani kwaye bube buyingqungquthela, buzolile kwaye buvuyiswe! Nithembelane kwaye ningadumisi abo bathandekayo! Inhlanhla!