Kwigama elithi "umtshato" uqala ukucinga ngokuphepha. Ngenxa yokuba andizange ndisebenze okwamanje. Ngenxa yokuba andiqinisekanga ukuba nguye nguye kuphela. Ngenxa yokuba awufuni ukulahlekelwa luhlobo olumnandi lokukhanya nokungakhathali, kwaye ukwesaba uxanduva. Ndikholelwe, awuyena yedwa. Iingcali zengqondo zithi ukuhlaziywa ngaphambi kokupheliswa komanyano okanye isifo se "wedding ring" siqhelekileyo.
Njengomthetho, le ntombazana ifumana ubuninzi bomtshato ngokugxininiswa ngenxa yokuba uyayinxalenye yokuphila okungakhathaliyo kunye nengaphambili yangaphambili, kunye nokwesaba ngaphambi kokungaqondakali, ikusasa elingaziwa.Ukuba uthi "yee", kufuneka ukuba unamathele kumfanekiso okhoyo. uhlobo lokulahleka, kunye nokulahleka kukuhlala kubuhlungu, nanko kukho iingcamango, kunye nezixinzelelo, kunye nemimoya embi. Abanye bethu banokukwazi ukusinda kule nkathazo ngokulula, amaninzi amantombazana awela emngceleni womtshato aze aqale ubomi bawo obatshatayo. Kodwa abanye abakwazi ukuziqonda kakuhle, ngoko ke nakuzo zonke iindlela ezinokuzama ukulibazisa umtshato okanye ukubalekela kwiofisi yokubhalisa. Ukuthintela oku, kuyimfuneko ukufumanisa apho ezo nkwantya zivela khona. Ngamanye amaxesha kunokwanela ukunqoba kwabo baze bangene ebomini obatshatileyo.
Umoya othusa womfazi okhululekileyo
Kwiiveki ezimbalwa ngaphambi komtshato, ukucinga kwakho kuphelile kwaye kuphazamiseka. Ukhangele intanda yakho kwaye ubone kuyo isithunzi esiqinileyo njengangaphambili, kodwa ezinye iimpazamo, uzibambelele kuye. Endaweni yokuhlala ngokufanelekileyo, uqala ukulwa. Omnye wabasetyhini abatshatileyo bayavuma kwi-psychologist: "Sasicishe sanciphisa umtshato, ndakhala ebusuku, andingenayo imvakalelo emini, ndakhala ndaza ndaqhekeza konke, andizange ndibe nesidlo, ngenxa yamava kunye noxinzelelo, ndandichitha ama-7 kilogram . Ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba ndiza kutshata indoda engalunganga. Ndabiza umfana wam wangaphambili waza ndahlela intlanganiso, ndaqalisa ukudlala ngothando nomsebenzi kunye nabo basebenzisana nabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ndiphantse ndiyitshintshe into endiyikhethayo .... Kodwa umhlobo wam owayesesandul 'umtshato wandiyeka waza wangena, kwaye ngoko ndiza kulahlwa ngumntu ontle. "
Yaye le ntombi ayikho yodwa kwaye awukho. Abafazi abaninzi baziphatha ngendlela efanayo phambi komtshato ozayo. Oku akuthethi ukuba ngokukhawuleza baqonda ukuba bakhetha umntu ongeyena ukuba aphile kunye. Owesifazane oyikayikayo uqala ukuzithobela ukuzonwabisa okwenzisayo kwaye ngokukhawuleza waba nesidlo sokwenzela i-adventure, bayaxhala kwaye bahluthe. Amadoda nawo awakude nathi. Emva koko, bafumana abafazi abaninzi. Ngaphambi komtshato, kubonakala ngathi siyakhala intsimbi, sinika isibonakaliso sokuba mhlawumbi kukho izinto ezintle, ezithembisayo, ezikhethekileyo, ezikhethileyo. Kodwa ukuze ulahlekise le mfihlelo "ukuhlekisana" komphefumlo, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba bavelaphi. Xa siyazi ngcono "umoya womfazi okhululekileyo", iingcamango ezingathandekiyo ziya kuphelisa ngokwazo.
Ukuba ayinakunceda, kuthetha ukuba isizathu sinzulu kakhulu kwaye, mhlawumbi, iingcambu zayo zivela ebuntwaneni. Ngokuqhelekileyo bethu abafana bashiya inkcazelo ejulile entliziyweni kunye naso sonke ixesha esikukhumbulayo nokuva. Awukwazi ukulibala kuze kube sekupheleni. Ngomphefumlo wam ndiziva ndiziva ndivakalelwa. Kwaye emva nje komtshato, siqala ukucinga ukuba mhlawumbi kwindawo ethile, ngandlela-thile, umntu akaziqondi kwaye ucinga ukuba asikwazi ukwenza oku ngendoda yangempela.
Ukoyikiswa kobukhoboka
Ukuba u-fiance wakho uhlala egijimela kubahlobo bakhe ukuba abe nebhiya, kufuneka ukuba ukhululekile kwaye uyethusa. Ucinga ngelithi xa ubeka isitampu kwipasipoti yakho, uya kubeka ijoka kuye kwaye uya kuba ngumlutha. Akuzange kube ngumnyaka ukususela ekubeni umqabane wakho uqale ukuhlala ngokuzimeleyo kwaye ujabulele ubhedu, kwaye ngokubaluleke kakhulu, akanakho ukuphendula kumntu. Kwaye xa kufika ixesha lomtshato, ubona kuphela oko kuya ku soloko ebophezelekile, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo, ulangazelela ubomi bentlackle ayithandayo kakhulu.
Ucinga ukuba akalindelanga ubomi bentsapho obonwabileyo kunye nomfazi omhle, kwiingcamango zakhe kuphela ukuba ulindele "iintambo." Umfana uqala ukukhwele abahlobo abahlala ngokukhululekile, njengoko bafuna kwaye bathanda. Nangona kunjalo, ngazo zonke ezi ngcamango, umfazi ozayo akayi kuba lula. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kule meko kukubonisa ukuqonda nokunyaniseka.
Ekhululekile kwaye enesizungu
Kuwe kakade u-25, kunye nabanyulwayo, malunga naluphi na ukuphupha. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, xa eqala ukucinga ngomtshato, uguqulela ingxoxo kwenye yesihloko. Uziva kwaye uyazi ukuba lo xinzelelo aluqondakali, kodwa awukwazi ukujamelana nayo. Abasetyhini bathi sele benento yonke ekulungele umtshato, izimemo zithunyelwe ... kwaye ngokukhawuleza kuvela ukwesaba ukuba kuya kubakho ukuthatha uxanduva lomnye umntu. Baqala ukucinga indlela indoda eya kulahlekelwa ngayo umsebenzi kwaye ihlale embhedeni kunye nobhiya phambi kweTV, kwaye loo mfazi kwakufuneka asebenze amabini.
Abafazi abaninzi banqumla ubudlelwane nomyeni ngaphambi komtshato, baze bazisole. Abakhethiweyo kulo mzekelo, njengommiselo, musa ukuchasa, kodwa maneke. Abahlobo babo baphatana ngokuphumelelayo baze babe nabantwana, kwaye bahlala bodwa bodwa kwaye bekude kwiintliziyo zabo baphupha umtshato. Ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi abanjalo bayizintombi ezikhululekile. Ukuba ungowolu hlobo, ngoko phambi kokuba wenqabe ukunikezelwa kwesandla nentliziyo uze ubuyele kwindlu apho ikati kuphela ekulindele khona, ziqonde ukuba uyakoyika kakhulu.
Njengomthetho, awuyikwesaba iqabane, kungabi nqoqo yemali kwaye akukho nobomi. Umfazi ozimeleyo kunye nokhululekileyo usoloko ekhansela umtshato ngenxa yokuba ukwesaba ukushiywa. Ngaloo ndlela, uyaqhankqalaza, ungaqapheli ukuba ufuna ukuxhomekeka kumntu kwaye ngexesha elifanayo uzama ukufihla ukwesaba umtshato. Uloyiko lokuba umyeni "uya kubetha" ngaphandle kwakho ukuba umfazi ozimele, kwaye uya kuhamba. Isizathu sokuba ibhinqa ayifuni ukuba utshatile ingafihlwa ebuntwaneni. Mhlawumbi, ubungakanani bakho obuxhomekeke kubazali bakho, ukuba ngoku uloyiko lwakho lukhulu kakhulu ngenxa yokwesaba ukuxhomekeka komnye umntu-indoda yakho.
Emva koxinzelelo kunye namava
Usuvele utshatile kanye kwaye unikwe kwakhona? Kodwa umtshato wokuqala wawungaphumelelanga, usinda kwisiqhawulo somtshato kunye nokudandatheka, ngoko ngoku uloyiko lokuba yonke into iya kwenzeka kwakhona.
Abasetyhini baphikisa ukuba xa usuku lufika, okokuqala ngqa batshata, ngamnye unyaka bafumana uxinzelelo kwaye bekotyiswa kukuba kuya kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona, bathi isahlukaniso sesibini siza kubatshabalalisa.
Mhlawumbi uzibambe ucinga ukuba uzama ukuthelekisa unyulo omtsha nomyeni wokuqala kwaye uzama ukufumana kuye iimpawu kunye neempawu ezifanayo. Kodwa ukuba ungatshatanga okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ukuba amava afanelekileyo afanelekileyo. Ukwahlukana kwakukho ebomini bakho kwaye oku kuphazamiseka okungeke kwenzeke naphi na, kufuneka iphile kwaye ivumeleke. Ngenxa yoko, xa uva umnikelo ophindaphindiweyo womtshato, uqala uloyiko. Musa ukulwa nale ngcamango engabonakaliyo kwaye ungayi kuqulunqa umtshato wokuqala, owehlulekayo, kwinto entsha. Ngoku uhamba phambili ubuhlobo bokwangoku, banakekele.
Ngendlela, abanye bathi ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato wokuqala kuku-alibi enhle ukuze ungenzi kwakhona. Abasetyhini bathi xa bazama umtshato, abafuni ukuphinde baphinde bafumane umtshato.
Ukuxinezeleka okukhulu, iingxaki ezincinci
Mhlawumbi awunayo nayiphi na ingxaki kuyo yonke, okanye ayikho enkulu njengoko uyivuthela? Uyesaba nje umtshato ngokwawo. Xa ubona ingubo yomtshato, unxibe nge jim. Kwaye uhlala ucinga ukuba uya kutyhafa esibingelelweni. Ngoko, into ephosakeleyo? Akunjalo. Le mivakalelo eqhelekileyo, sisinda nje namhlanje kunye nabo bonke. Uxinzelelo luyekile okanye ubuncinane luyehla, xa umntu ehlaziya, phucula kunye nawe.
Sitshele ngeengcamango zakho kunye nokungabaza malunga nomyeni wakho wekamva. Khumbula ukuba ulwalamano oluhle lubuhlobo bokwenene noluthembayo. Ukuba umonakalo uqokelela entloko yakho, ngokukhawuleza kuya kubakho umdlalo. Ngenxa yokuba kwelinye ixesha zonke iingcinga ezimbi ziya kuphuma. Kodwa ukuba ungeke ukwazi ukujamelana nawe, vumelani ukuba ingxaki ihlala ngaphakathi kuwe kwaye kufuneka uhambe kwi-psychologist.
Ngamanye amaxesha uxinzelelo ngaphambi komtshato luphawu lokuba asikwazi ukwenza ubuhlobo obuhle. Ngoko ke, kwimeko enjalo iqabane lingakunceda. Akakwazi nje ukuma.