Kodwa, ukuba ngumtshato apho indoda incinci kunowesifazane, njani ukujonga ubuhlobo obunjalo? Ewe, okokuqala kufuneka ubeke ukubhuka ukuba akukho mntu unelungelo lokunyuka kwintsapho yomnye umntu aze axoxe ngezinto ezenzekayo apho. Uluntu, alukhathazeki ukuba lidala kangakanani, lidala okanye lincinci. Iingxoxo zolu hlobo ziphela kuphela kulabo abahlala emgodini kwaye bexhaphaza, benomona wabonwabileyo abanye kwaye bazame ukuzibhokoxa ngandlela-thile.
Ukugxeka umbuzo: umtshato apho indoda incinci kunowesifazane, ungathetha kuphela ngengqondo kunye nokuqonda imeko kwimizi ngokwayo. Okokuqala, konke kuxhomekeke ekubeni umfana uncinane kangakanani kwintombazana. Ukuba le minyaka iphakathi kweminyaka emihlanu kwaye ibabini ezingamashumi amabini, ngoko, ngokuqhelekileyo, akukho nto ingaqhelekanga kwaye, ngokukodwa, ihlaziywa. Sekunjalo, kukho abantu abaselula abaneminyaka engama-20 abanobulumko kunye namava okuphila. Ziyathembeka kwaye ziyabathanda iintliziyo zabo zamantombazana kwaye, kule meko, iminyaka yobudala ayikho into ebonisa.
Le meko ihluke kakhulu xa ibhinqa likhulile kunomntu iminyaka elishumi okanye ngaphezulu. Apha, abafazi kufuneka baqonde ngokucacileyo oko bafuna kumfana wabo, kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, indlela abaphatha ngayo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba kwimitshato engalinganiyo, indoda, ngokwenene, idlala indima yonyana. Abasetyhini bavame ukunyanzelisa abo bathandekayo, kwaye banokuziva bexanduva labo bancinci kunabo. Yingakho, ngokwenene, kunokuvela ukuba emtshatweni akukho ndoda nomfazi, kodwa umntwana nomama. Oonyana abaninzi, ngokuqhelekileyo, bancinane kwaye banengqondo. Awukwazi ukufumana umsebenzi ohloniphekileyo, asebenzisana nobuchule obungenalusi kwaye acele nje imali. Enyanisweni, oku - u-Alfonso, olungele ukuhlala kwiindleko zomnye umntu. Kungenxa yoko, a mabhinqa akufanele afuneke aze afanele amkeleke abo bathandekayo. Ukuba ubona ukuba indoda evulekile ayifuni ukutshintsha ubomi bakhe, ukufezekisa into kwaye ibe yindoda ekhulile ngokwenene, akuyi kubuhlungu ukucinga ngale meko. Emva koko, onke amabhinqa amaphupha abantwana, kwaye aba bantu bayingozi kakhulu kubantwana. Ngokomgaqo, oku akumangalisi. Ngengqiqo nangengqiqo, loo mfana usetyenziselwa ukuba ngumntwana "kuphela" kwintsapho. Umfazi uzama ukumenza konke okusemgangathweni, ukuzalisekisa zonke iifom kunye nokuxolela zonke iimpazamo. Kodwa, xa umntwana ebonakala endlwini, ukugqithisa okuphambili kokunyamekela nokunyamekela kuya kudlula kuye. Kwaye le nto ingamnandi kubayeni-abantwana. Banoba nomona obala ngomntwana, basola ukungabikho kwengqwalasela kubathandekayo babo, kwaye ngexesha, ngokuqhelekileyo, baqhawule umtshato. Inyaniso kukuba aba bantu abanokulungele ukuthatha uxanduva kubo bonke ubomi babo. Batshata nabasetyhini abadala kunabo, ukuba umntu ahlale echanekile kwisiphoso aze asombulule zonke iingxaki. Ukongezelela, loo ndoda inokutshintsha kwaye iphile ngokuzonwabisa, ngelixa umfazi uya kutsala ebomini bakhe kunye nelobhothi.
Kwakhona, kukho amaxesha apho abafazi bakhetha amadoda abancinci kunokuba bazive bancinci, bazive ngentsingiselo yobomi. Enyanisweni, oku kukukhohlisa okuqhelekileyo. Ukuba umntu usemncinci ngentliziyo, uya kuhlala njalo kunye noontanga. Kwaye uzama ukujoyina ubomi bobutsha kwaye abonakale esemncinci ngeendleko zeqabane lakhe, ubukeka banobudenge kwaye bukhohlakele. Ukongezelela, intombazana inokuthetha ngenyameko umfazi ngenxa yamehlo kunye neentloni ngaye. Imitshato enjalo ibanjwe kuphela xa le ntokazi inemali eyaneleyo yemali, eqinisweni, inomdla kumyeni omncinane. Uhlala kwiindleko zakhe, kodwa kungekhona ngenxa ye-infantilism, kodwa ngokubala. Umntu uqonda kakuhle, kutheni le ntokazi iyakuthanda kwaye isebenzisa nje. Unako ukudlala kunye nokubonisa ukuba uthando alukho. Phakathi kwala bantu abatsha kukho abadlali abanetalente. Abafazi ngeeminyaka abazi ukuba abayeni bayatshintsha, badana neentloni kwaye abaziqwalasele iimvakalelo ezenziwa ngumfazi. Ngobudlelwane obunjalo, kunjalo, akukho nto intle. Ngoko ke, oomama badinga ikhulu elinamakhulu amaxesha ukuba bacinge ngaphambi kokuba batshata nomfana omhle, ukuze azalise ubomi bakhe ngemibala emitsha.
Amatyala amabini achazwe ngentla mhlawumbi iimeko ezidume kakhulu xa umtshato ongalinganiyo ungalunganga. Kodwa, ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akuwona umgaqo. Kwenzeka ukuba umntu omncinci angathanda umfazi okhulileyo ngakumbi. Kule meko, umtshato apho umntu omncinci kunomfazi ukhululeka. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba le ntokazi ibone ukuba indoda yakhe sele ikhulile kwisinyathelo esinzulu njengomtshato. Uzama ukufezekisa into ebomini aze amele ngokuqinile ezinyaweni zakhe. Sekunjalo, ekubudlelaneni namadoda abancinci kunabesifazana, kufuneka uqaphele ukuba ungangeni emthandweni wothando. Intombi nganye ithambekele ekuthandeni intanda yakhe kwaye ibone kuye. Musa ukwenza oku. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni inkokheli nje ayiboni into eyinyaniso yendoda kunye nezizathu eziyimfuneko zomtshato wazo. Njengoko bethetha: themba, kodwa khangela. Ngoko ke, abafazi abavuthiweyo abaninzi abafanelekanga ukulibala malunga namava abo ubomi kunye nobulumko, kwaye basebenzise ngokusebenza. Ewe, oku kulungile xa uthando lujika iintloko zethu, kodwa ke, akukho mntu ufuna ukuwa ezulwini evela emhlabeni. Ngako oko, phambi kokuba uvume ngokupheleleyo loo mfana entliziyweni nasemphefumlweni, umphathe ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye ukuba uyayiqonda loo nto, nangona ubudala bakhe, usengumntu wokwenene, ngoko ucebisa kuwe kwaye uyamthanda.